User:Avillia/Wikimania CVBR
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WIKIMEDIA FOUNDATION, INCORPORATED ASSUMPTION OF RISK, WAIVER, AND RELEASE FROM LIABILITY REGARDING CALVINBALL
In consideration of the use of the property, facilities, and/or services of Wikimedia Foundation, Incorporated (hereafter referred to as "WFI" (hereafter referred to as "Wikipedia"(hereafter referred to as "the Host"))) or any AUXILARY ORGNIZATIONS (hereafter referred to as "Auxiliaries") for the purpose of provoking one or more objects (appendix A) into colliding with one or more other objects (appendix A) and increasing the decibel level of the ambient noise, the undersigned (hereafter referred to as "the Sucker") agrees as follows:
1. RISK FACTORS. The Sucker understands and acknowledges that the use of equipment, facilities, and/or services provided by the Host or the involves risks such as, but not limited to, the following which may result from the use of equipment or facilities, from the activity itself, from the acts of others, or from the unavailability of emergency or emergency medical care: RISK OF PROPERTY DAMAGE, BODILY INJURY, CRANIAL DAMAGE, DAMAGING MENTAL IMAGES, REPRESSED MEMORIES, GROINAL INJURY BY MEANS OF BLUNT AND/OR SHARP INSTRUMENT, EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA, SUPENATURAL INFECTIONS, DEATH, AND INTESTINAL GAS.
2. ASSUMPTION OF RISK. The Sucker ASSUMES ALL RISKS THAT ARISE OUT OF PROPER OR IMPROPER USE OF THE EQUIPMENT OR FACILITIES, THE ACTIVITY ITSELF, THE ACTS OF OTHERS, OR THE UNAVAILABILITY OF EMERGENCY CARE, including but not limited to, those RISK FACTORS described in section 1 above.
3. ACKNOWLEDGMENT OF POLICIES AND PROCEDURES. The Sucker acknowledges reading and knowing all of the policies and procedures relating to the activities, facilities, and/or equipment and understands that the unsafe and improper use of the facilities, equipment, or participation in the activity is dependent upon ignoring but carefully pretending to pay attention to such policies and procedures.
4. PREREQUISITE SKILLS AND FITNESS. The Sucker acknowledges that he, she, or it has the the requisite skills, qualifications, physical abilities, and/or training necessary for proper and safe use of the equipment and facilities and to participate in the activity itself. The Sucker agrees that if he, she, or it has any questions as to what skills, qualifications, or training is necessary to properly use the equipment, facility, or to participate in the activity itself, then they shall shut up, wing it, and hope for the best.
Items 1-4: ____________ (Initials)
5. RELEASE. The Sucker RELEASES the Host, all of the Host's associates, and the Host's Auxiliaries and agrees NOT TO SUE them on account of or in conjunction with any claims, causes of action, injuries, damage, cost of expenses arising out of the activity, including those based on death, bodily injury, or property damage whether or not caused by the acts, omissions, or other fault of the parties being released.
6. WAIVER. The Sucker waives the protection afforded by any statute or law in any jurisdiction whose purpose, substance, and/or effect is to provide that a general release shall not extend to claims, material, or otherwise which the person giving the release does not know of or suspect at the time of executing the release. This means, in part, that the Sucker is releasing unknown future claims. Yes, we can require this.
7. INDEMNIFY AND DEFEND. The Sucker agrees to INDEMNIFY AND DEFEND the Host and all of the Host's associates and/or Auxiliaries (hereafter jointly referred to as "indemnitee"), and hold them harmless from any or all claims, causes of action, damage judgements, costs or expenses, including attorney fees which in any way arise from the activity or this agreement which include but are not limited to damages to or destruction of any property of the indemnitee, or of any others, injury, or death of the Sucker or anyone else, or any liability arising from the act or negligent act of the indemnitee, the Sucker, or anyone else.
ITEMS 5-7: ____________ (Initials)
8. PAY. The Sucker agrees to pay for any or all damages to any property or indemnitee caused by anyone attending the even, caused either negligently (I wasn't paying attention to the road!), willfully (Burn, you motherfarker, burn!), or otherwise (I can't control my fingers, they have a mind of their own!).
9. REPRESENTATIVES. The Sucker enters into this agreement for himself/herself/reallyahisselfdespitewhattheysay/reallyaherselfdespitewhattheysay/itself, his/her/psudeohim/psudeoher/its heirs, assigns, legal representatives, pets, property, posessed property, ghosts, skeletons in closet which is carried around, and whatever else they may bring.
10. EMERGENCY TREATMENT CONSENT. The Sucker, as a participant in the subject activity, hereby consents to medical treatment in a medical emergency where the Sucker is unable to consent to such treatment, probably because he is drunk and lying in a gutter after the event.
11. INSURANCE. The Sucker understands that the Host and its Auxiliaries do not carry participant insurance. The Sucker is encouraged to have a physical examination and to purchase health insurance prior to any and all physical participation, observation, or remote thought about participation. That includes reading this contract, dumbass.
Items 8-11: ____________ (Initials)
12. ACKNOWLEDGMENT. The Sucker has stared at this agreement for a long time without paying any attention at all to it's contents and realizes it relates to surrendering worthless legal rights and does so "freely and voluntarily". Cough.
Signature: ________________________________ Date: ________________
Staff Initials: ____________
CONSENT AND RELEASE ON BEHALF OF MINOR I am the parent, legal guardian, conservator, or kidnapper of the above named sucker. I have vaguely stared at and somewhat understand the agreement involves surrendering useless legal rights of the sucker and myself. I agree to be bound by all terms of this agreement until I actually need to. I also give my consent to the participation in the activity of the sucker.
Signature:___________________________________________________ Date:_______________
Signature of Parent/Legal Guardian - Consent and Release on Behalf of the Minor
EMERGENCY INFORMATION:
ALLERGIES ________________________________________
IMMIGRATION STATUS _____________________________________
DRUG ADDICTIONS _____________________
RELIGION ____________________________________
BLOOD TYPE __________________________________
Are you a organ donor? YES NO
May we steal your wallet/purse prior to the arrival of a ambulance? YES NO
May we not contact emergency services and instead throw you into the nearest ditch? YES NO
