Australian odes
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An Australian ode is an articulate poem with profanity that is designed to make people laugh. There are only a few performers in Australia that can perform these quite well. These performers are considered living legends amongst the lower class and working class people of Australia. An ode (Classical Greek: ὠδή) is a form of stately and elaborate lyrical verse. A classic ode is structured in three parts: the strophe, the antistrophe, and the epode. Different forms such as the homostrophic ode and the irregular ode also exist.
[edit] Examples of Australian odes
An example of an Australian ode of an articulate nature performed by Rodney Rude
There was an old man from Newcastle who wrapped up a shit in a parcel, he sent it on a train with a note to explain that it came from his grandmothers arsehole.
This next example of an Australian ode of an articulate nature was composed by Kevin Bloody Wilson. The song is designed to sound like a Christmas carol but with profanity and obscene language thrown in. The first few words to the introduction of this poem come across as being serious and sounds like a brief history of the artists up-bringing in a poor family. Here is a short example of his performance:
(male voice) Hey Santa claus you cunt! Where's me fucking bike? I've unwrapped all this other junk and there's nothing that I like. I wrote you a fucking letter and I come to see you twice, Ya worn out geriatric bastard, you forgot me fucking bike. If I wanted a pair of bloody thongs, I'd have bloody asked and this cowboy suit and ping pong set you can shove right up your arse! You've stuffed me bloody order up, It's enough to make you spew and I'm not the only one who's snakey Me sisters dirty too!
(female voice) Hey santa clause you cunt! Where's me fucking pram? You promised me you'd bring me you'd send me one, you remember who I am. Cause I'm the little girl who you made sit right on your hand ll give you fucking ho ho ho You forgot me fucking pram
(male voice) Next time I come to see ya, I'm gonna punch you in the guts and I'll let your fucking reihndeer to go and kick Rudolf in the nuts! You just wait 'till next year, when you go back to that store and me and me little sister, come stomping through the door and we'll say, yeah you wait for it. Hey mums and dads you smell his breath and check his bloodshot eyes, And don't listen to him boys and girls 'cause he tells fucking lies, He's just a piss tank and a pervert, and he's not even very bright. Cause the old fucking wanker Forgot me fucking bike. You wait you old cunt, I'm gonna dob you in. Tell me old man on you an he'll punch your fucking lights out I saw mummy sucking santa clause .[1]
These poems or odes of an articulate nature are enjoyed mostly by lower or working class people, but as time passes and trends change, they are enjoyed more and more by a wider cross section of people.
Another example from Rodney Rude:
This lyric poem is a send up of the song "Rhinestone Cowboy" that was once performed by Glen Campbell. The poem is performed in a way so that the beat and rhythm match the original song as performed by Glen Campbell but with the lyrics listed below:
He’s been plowing the fields all day Walking behind that bay And he thinks to himself from behind she’s a good looking horse So its woo back under a tree And he waits while the horse takes a pee And he lifts up its tail to make sure that it’s a she And he sees this huge vagina And he thinks what could be finer So its down with the reigns And down with the overalls to He's a well-hung plowboy Sneaking up on his horse and having intercourse He's a well-hung plowboy And the smile on his horse proves it feels no remorse He roots it with great force When he comes home from supper His wife says: "you're a horse fucker! I've been to see a lawyer just today And I want a divorce (why?) Because you fucked that horse! I've been down the field Watching you all day You were up behind that horse You were pumping with great force" The horse don't mind the pain And he hangs on to its main And he just stands still and says: "Get up! Woo back!" (x7) He's a well-hung plowboy Sneaking up on his horse and having intercourse He's a well-hung plowboy
