Are You Right There, Father Ted?

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Are You Right There, Father Ted?
Father Ted episode

Ted gestures behind a perfectly square bit of black dirt on the window
Episode no. Season 3
Episode 1
Written by Graham Linehan, Arthur Mathews
Directed by Andy DeEmmony
Guest stars Patrick Kavanagh (Fr Seamus Fitzpatrick),
Ozzie Yue (Sean Yin),
Vernon Dobtcheff (Old Nazi),
Peter Sakon Lee (Yin son),
Ann Callanan (Mrs. Carberry),
Eamon Rohan (Colm),
Des Keogh (Older Priest),
Simon Nelson (Younger Priest)
Denis Quilligan (Accountant),
Frank Keane (Delivery Man),
Royan Lee (Man in Audience)
Original airdate 13 March, 1998
Episode chronology
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"A Christmassy Ted" "Chirpy Burpy Cheap Sheep"
List of Father Ted episodes

"Are You Right There, Father Ted?" was the 1st episode of the third series of the Channel 4 television sitcom Father Ted, and the 18th episode overall.

[edit] Plot

In the episode's prologue (a first for the series), Ted - ostensibly promoted for some reason - relaxes in a luxurious Dublin parish mansion, with a respected clergyman after an exhausting business trip to Paris, bartering over which masses the pair will tend to that day. Ted awaits his dinner of pheasant and optimistically muses over his immediate future. All of a sudden, a church accountant asks Ted about a discrepancy with church expenses... and Ted is promptly sent back to Craggy Island, to Dougal's delight.

As the episode proper begins Ted - after settling in - returns a borrowed copy of Stephen King's The Shining to a friend, Father Seamus Fitzpatrick, and is surprised by his sizeable collection of Nazi memorabilia. On Ted returning home Mrs. Doyle injures her back after falling off the roof. Because of this, Ted and Dougal are forced to assume her cleaning tasks, and quickly become very bored. To liven things up, Ted places a lampshade on his head like a coolie hat, and starts imitating a Chinaman. Unfortunately, he looks out the window and sees three Chinese watching him, and before long, rumours that Ted is racist are flying all over Craggy Island; most of his honest attempts to prove otherwise are blighted either by incongruous objects or downright ill luck.

After fronting a (laughable) presentation of cultural diversity on Craggy Island Ted resorts to wining the Chinese families and apologising for his mishaps, to a degree of success. Unbeknownst to Ted, however, Father Fitzpatrick had died in a medication mix-up a few days ago and had left his Nazi collection to Ted, instructing "Habit-Hat" (with whom Ted had ordered furniture recently) to mail the offensive collection to the Parochial House. Mrs. Doyle has already placed the collection on full display by the time Ted and Dougal return - with the Chinese - to the house for a nightcap.

In utter desperation Ted sends more alcohol to the Yin family the following day, with Father Jack providing a priceless intervention.

Father Jack spends practically the entire episode in small spaces, including inside a grandfather clock, which leads Ted to assume Jack is agoraphobic; which Dougal thinks is a fear of fighting.

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[edit] Trivia

[edit] External links