Wikipedia:April fools/April Fools' Day 2005/Cabal
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Welcome to the official headquarters of Wikipedia's cabal! We are a group of sysops and bureaucrats and developers. We are commanded into action by our good friend, Jimbo Wales! We, the undersigned agree to:
- Reject as many requests for adminship as possible.
- Keep n00bs under control by telling them ridiculous lies about our respect for humanity.
- Scare anybody we want into submission by blocking whiners.
- Spend the donations from fundraising drives on gold-plated 70-foot yachts, French wines and bottled water, and business jets for the Board of Trustees members.
- Look down on everybody else.
- Encourage systematic bias throughout Wikimedia.
- Continue to develop our secret anti-copyleft policies.
- Trim our hair in accordance with the elitist lifestyle.
- Delete anything, anytime.
- Propagate the total worship of Jimbo.
- Indiscriminately accuse harmless users of vandalism.
- Use the mailing lists and Internet Relay Chat to denounce "trolls".
- Loudly and repeatedly deny the very existence of our aims or the existence of this page.
