Talk:André Kertész/Comments

[edit] General

I'm not a big fan of massive number of references to a book as a whole. I favor a style more similar to, e.g., Ine of Wessex, if only because it becomes very hard to find the right link back toward the top of the article after the fifth. However, I won't impose it if it would be too inconveniencing; an option is to use chapters instead of specific page numbers.
The article is only divided by his biography. I think a good general analysis of his artistic work and influence is also needed. Y Done

During the earlier years of his career which spanned for more than 70 years, his then-unorthodox camera angles, which hindered prose descriptions of his works, and his unwillingness to compromise his personal photographic style prevented his work from gaining wider recognition, as well as his use of symbolism which also became unfashionable later in his life.
- This sentence is far too long and quickly gets clunky. The last part in particular makes almost no sense
which spanned for more than 70 years
- Drop "for"Y Done
- It's not clear whether that refers to "earlier years" or to his career as a whole

The lead as too much as a synthesis of his artistic work (symbolism is not mentioned any where else in the article!) and not enough has a summary of his biography and career. It needs an almost complete rewrite: If you need so many references for stuff other than quotes, you have a problem (I'm the school that tries to keep refs in the lead to a minimum) Several elements could be used to make a legacy/impact section as I suggested above.

for a competition in the magazine Borsszem Janko, which he failed to win.
- How is it relevant to specifically say that he failed to win? Why mention that he didn't win a all? Should he have been expected to win? Consider dropping the last bit. Y Done

In 1930, Kertész was awarded a silver medal for services to photography at the Exposition Coloniale in Paris where he attended.
- The only "Exposition Coloniale" in Paris at the time was the Paris Colonial Exposition, but that was in 1931. Maybe double-check that.
- Oh, and drop the scare quotes. That's the name. Italics are enough.Y Done
the Keystone agency owned by Erney Prince.
- Look at Keystone to see whether we have something to link here?
  - Y Done There's no current article to link to. The closest are Keystone Studios & Keystone Camera Company, but neither of them are the one mentioned - the name could have possibly changed...? - Spawn Man

At his Venice exhibition he was awarded a gold medal for his dedication to the photographic industry, a feeling of recognition he had never felt whilst working for House and Garden.
- Extremely clunky. Not sure what you mean.

I've tentatively placed Greenough, Gurbo & Kennel as a "general" reference. If that is incorrect and the book was notactually used as a reference, then the header should be "Further reading". —Preceding unsigned comment added by Circeus (talk • contribs) 19:10, August 28, 2007 (UTC)
- Y Done Yep, was further reading. - Spawn Man