A Lilith Thanksgiving
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| “A Lilith Thanksgiving” | |||||||
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| Frasier episode | |||||||
 Frasier and Lilith entering Dr.Campbell's home. |
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| Episode no. | Season 04 Episode 07 |
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| Written by | – | ||||||
| Original airdate | – | ||||||
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| List of Frasier episodes (Season 4) | |||||||
"A Lilith Thanksgiving" is an episode of Frasier. It features both his ex-wife Lilith and his son Frederick, although they appear in few of the same scenes. The episode is set in Boston, as Frasier and Lilith attempt to get Frederick into an exclusive school, leaving Niles and Martin to prepare dinner.
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[edit] Main cast and characters
Kelsey Grammer – Dr. Frasier Crane
David Hyde Pierce – Dr. Niles Crane
John Mahoney – Martin Crane
Jane Leeves – Daphne Moon
Peri Gilpin – Roz Doyle
[edit] Guest characters
Paxton Whitehead - Dr. Colin Campbell
Bebe Neuwirth - Dr. Lilith Sternin
[edit] Plot outline
Niles' plans for a 'rustic' thanksgiving retreat for the family (complete with mints on the pillows) are scuppered when Lilith arranges a meeting for Thanksgiving morning, with the headmaster of an exclusive school, with the aim of getting Frederick in. As a result, the family goes to Boston. Daphne visits her transvestite uncle Jackie (who is a minister of some sort) while Roz is housesitting for Frasier. Neither are mentioned again in the episode.
After Niles and Lilith bicker over the turkey, she and Frasier set off to meet Dr. Campbell, a plummy-voiced Englishman. Meanwhile, Niles faces the disgusting task of removing the entrails from the turkey, while Martin teaches Freddie to play baseball.
Things start to go wrong when Frasier and Lilith arrive at Dr. Campbell's house. He accidentally damages an antique chair (which Campbell notices in a scene in the end sequence). Still, the interview is initially positive - they mention Frederick's National Science Award, and that he has perfect pitch.
Frasier and Lilith realise that they didn't emphasise that Marberry is their first choice, so they go back to correct this (under the ruse of looking for a lost earring). Panicking, she claims that it was a gift from Golda Meir. Attempting to explain how Lilith knew Golda, Frasier says she used to go out with her Grandson, 'Oscar'. An incredulous Dr. Campbell notes that this sounds like a famous producer of pork products (especially ironic as Meir and Lilith are both Jewish. He finishes with "Marberry thanks you for your interest", which the parents realise represents a rejection.
Still, they do not give up. Remembering that Dr. Campbell suggested that most places go to "the children of alumni, and other generous benefactors", they decide to bribe him. They visit an increasingly disdainful Campbell a third time, and awkwardly offer a bribe. Campbell is appalled, and sarcasticly states that he never wants to hear from them again, unless they have a turkey. So, they steal their own from the oven, much to Niles' bemusement when he attempts to finish it off.
On their fourth visit to Dr. Campbell, his guests have arrived - two couples with sons. Frasier and Lilith assume that the kids are both at Marberry - unfortunately the viewers already know that one was admitted and the other's was not (instead going to the Barclay School), and this is still a sore point. When Fraiser makes a sarcastic regarding Barclay, the couples start bickering, at which point Dr. Campbell walks back in. He realise that he can't stand to see them again, and can only ensure this by agreeing to admit Frederick. Frasier and Lilith are however banned from the school - parent's evenings, school plays, graduation, and Frederick Crane day if they ever hold one.
Meanwhile, Niles and Martin are struggling as surrogate parents. Freddie's attempt at catching leaves him with a black eye (Niles notes that the Crane boys can catch sarcastic nuance and the occasional virus, but not balls). Niles accidentally breaks Freddie's nose by opening the fridge door in his face, he gets chewing gum stuck in his hair, and he has an allergic reaction to a roulade containing anchovies. Still, his 'doting' parents miss all this.
[edit] Memorable quotes
(Frasier asks why Lilith hasn't gone with her husband, to a volcano site) Niles:"Because, if she accidentally fell in, the shock of the hottest thing in nature meeting the coldest would actually cause the earth to explode"
Frasier (incredulously):"As if a smile from Maris couldn't freeze Mercury"
Martin:"Great neighbourhood, I just noticed a bunch of kids Freddie's age playing" Lilith:"Yes, he's spent many happy hours observing their play patterns"
(Before the interview) Lilith:"This may be the single most important thing we do to ensure Frederick's happiness" Frasier:"Not counting our divorce"
(Dr Campbell on the phone to a prospective parent) "Well, Senator, rules may not mean anything on Capitol Hill, but they still mean something to me. And that is why young Noah will be seeking his education elsewhere"
(Lilith and Frasier decide that Dr. Campbell was looking for a bribe, while Frederick enters the room with multiple ailments) Frasier:"It was right there in front of us, and we didn't even see it Lilith:"How can we be so blind" Frasier:"Nothing gets in the way of our son's welfare"
(responding to the bribe) "I'll have you know that in 20 years I have never accepted a bribe. I find this utterly offensive..." [looks at amount on cheque) "...in every possible way"
(Attempting to get rid of Lilith and Frasier) Dr. Campbell:"I'm beginning to loathe the sight of both of you"..."I have six dinners guests arriving in an hour, and a turkey so undercooked that a skilled veterinarian could still save him".
