Wikipedia:Ye olde Badd Giokes and Other Deleetid Nonsense
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A reference to Olde English spelling
[edit] Coochieflash
to flash one's coochie, whether in the nude or in an undergarment, when sliding into a vehicle. Auto valet will see many coochieflashes as it is part of the job.
[edit] Assflash
to show the butt cheeks when stepping into a vehicle, mostly done when climbing into a raised vehicle, similar to a coochieflash
[edit] Manpoon
This is the new definition for manpoon.
[[1]]
- Created by User:Manpoon
[edit] Ha ha ha
ha ha ha is a phrase used by individuals of Uberhuman origin. It has innumerable different uses, each of which expresses a complex of interwoven nuances, and is therefore often found to be difficult to comprehend by the Weaker Ones. One of the rather simplistic interpretations offered by acclaimed Uberhuman scientist Aybabtu Ownage translates it as: "If you are reading this then you just got owned."
[edit] Mojowns
Mojowns - To own so bad that one becomes superheated and is declared Mojo.
[edit] The fittest guy on the planet
The fittest guy on the planet is dan radcliffe. see index by typin his name. Hes so cut a brill actor. i have rieceved a signed pic and a typed letter (not from him personally) if u av post it here. Within a month i hope he read it anyway point is hes the hottest guy alive.Thi is a rubbish publishing but i think i got my point across.#REDIRECT
[edit] North Star Middle school
North star middle school is a school located in the state of Nevada in the city of auston. It is probably the most famous school in the world. It contains more then 26,000,312 students and faculty. Some students are aliens. The others are students. U R GAY
[edit] Snoogral
A Snoogral is a new "Monster" that many kids have been saying come out of their closets. The "Snoogral" is completely Mith. The kids probly just got to much on their minds and need attention. Or they may think a Snoogral is in their Closets. The Snoogral looks like a 3 Legged Goat with wings and a Horns like a stags. If your child complains of a Snoogral look in their closets. If there is anything that looks like a snoogral fix it.
- Article was deleted as a {{nn-monster}}
[edit] United Nations Secretary-General
Humourous Trivia
The Secretary-General of the UN can be distinguished from the General-Secretary of the UN in that whilst one is in charge of the entire world, the other types letters and answers phone calls.
[edit] From Mario Party 4
Story
One day, in front of Peach's Castle,a giant box appears. Toad, Goomba, Koopa, Shy Guy and Boo pop out and say this is the Party Box. Then, you go the the main menu. If you chose story you pick a character then the guys say it is your birthday and they each have a present, but you have to beat their board and then beat them in a 1 on 1 minigame. If you lose the minigame, you cann try again. If you manage to beat all of the boards and get their presents, Bowser says he has one too, but you have to beat his REALLY hard board. If you beat it, you play a REALLY hard minigame against Bowser. If you win, you get a not-so-neat Bowser themed present.
- What really makes this funny is that it was supposed to be a legitimate entry.
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- I'm not sure the the user above this comment knows this, but that's actually a pretty accurate assessment of the story... RyanGerbil10 (Drop on in!) 21:43, 13 June 2006 (UTC)
[edit] I was just made by the Presbyterian Church
http://winterson.com/2005/06/episode-iii-backstroke-of-west.html
this seemed completely random until i figured out that 'jedi council' was being translated into chinese then back to english as 'the presbyterian church'.§
[edit] The Boustany Beast
Introduction
The Boustany Beast (Homo fatis) is a rare specie of animal discovered by Alfred Boustany, whom the animal is named for. It is extremely large and dangerous. The Beast also has many interesting eating and mating habits. It has also been speculated that the animal is similar to Bigfoot and the Yeti.
What "It" Looks Like
The Boustany Beast basically looks like a fur-covered ball with arms and legs. The most prominent feature of the beast is its stomach which can stick out over 25 inches. Also the beast has a very large mouth so it can fit large pieces of food into it. However, do not be fooled by its appearance, the beast is very strong. The BB (Boustany Beat) is nothing to be laughed at but the size of a male BB's penis is quite funny, as it is only 1-2 inches long.
Where Can I Find One
Well, the BBs have been spotted in many towns and cities in countries like Lebanon and Portugal but more recently BBs have been spotted in Westport. Westport is a heavily wooded town with many farms in Massachusetts, USA. Farmers complain because the bbs eat cows and other livestock, but nothing has been done to stop them. One local resident, Rick Forde, says, "If I see one of them nasty ol' Boustany Beasts, I reckon I'm gon shoot it." Well I would like to remind you that if you do see one of these beasts, keep your distance.
Eating Habits
The Boustany Beast's eating habits are very strange. When it is hungry it eats vast quantities of Lebanese and Portuguese food. Scientists believe it likes this type of food because it tastes like rotted garbage. The Beast eats over 200 pounds of food a day and can sometimes eat up to 500 pounds of food a day.
Mating Habits
One of the most interesting things about the BBs is their mating habits. The BBs start of by gorging on food so that their stomach swells out. Once their stomach is sufficiently swelled, the BBs emit an extremely loud and foul smelling belch, which can be heard for miles. The male beasts do this to attract mates. Finally when the female BB arrives they have sex in a way similar to apes. The female BBs look almost the same as male BBs except they have female sex organs. Also it is not uncommon for BBs to have both male and female sex organs. Therefore, one might say the BBs are bi-sexual.
History of the Beast
The first reported sighting of a BB was in 1892 in Lisbon by the Portuguese scientist, Alfredo Boustany. For many years he hunted the beasts, hoping to kill or capture one to prove the existence of BBs. During Alfredo's life he was never successful at gaining the evidence he needed but we honor him today by giving the BB its name. Alfredo's son Federico Boustany carried on his father's work and wrote five books in his life. He died tragically in 1953 after he was mauled to death by a BB. However the Boustany family legacy still lives on in the world renowned expert on BBs, André Boustany, who is the grandson of Alfredo Boustany. André still continues to search for the beast and he claims that he has seen BBs on many occasions and as killed 5 beasts.
The Beast Today
These beasts can be anywhere at any time. They can kill you and eat your penis before you can say take that out of there. This is the problem we face today. Help us help youby reporting any sightings of these beasts. Also feel free to petition your government officials to legalize the hunting of Boustany Beasts.
5 Tips for Your Safety
1. Do not antagonize Boustany Beasts.
2. Keep your distance.
3. Do not feed Boustany Beasts.
4. Do not make quick movements near Boustany Beasts.
5. If you are attacked run away because Boustany Beasts are slow. But if you have a gun, shoot the Boustany Beast.
A Little Extra Information
Many critics do not believe that these beasts exist. However, if they did any research they would find that it is closely related to Bigfoot, the Yeti, Sasquatch and the Loch Ness Monster. Therefore this creature and its story is a myth. However, like other myths there is some fact in it and people still like to hear about it.
[edit] Steve Mode
Steve Mode is based off the old Steven B Lazy Engagement Procedure but later upgraded to what is today known as Steve Mode. Steve Mode is as follows a user speaks the phrase "Steve Mode Engaged" when asked to do any task. Users may also use a hand gesture to initiate steve mode (see below). Steve mode can be used in different situations such as: Taking out the garbage, by engaging steve mode you do not move and the garbage is not taken out, steve mode can also be used to make a task easier such as taking a true/false test if a user engages steve mode during such a situation all answers will ethier be True or False with no effort. Someone who is an expierienced lazy person should be able to use Steve Mode at their leisure while a new comer may want to take it slow with such tasks as waking up early, running, and other tasks that results will be negliable.
Rumors: Steve Mode can result in death and other serious results if used thoughtlessly, some have said breathing has become hard, and they were unable to move. Please use steve mode responsibly.
[edit] Showdowncards.com
A website dedicated to the Wizards of the Coast-created MLB, NFL, and NBA Showdown games, the most popular of which is MLB Showdown. MLB Showdown was inextricably destroyed in 2006, when Wizards chose not to renew the game for another year. The game is played with cards based upon the statistics of current and retired players. A die and strategy cards are also used. The web site, which is not affiliated with Wizards of the Coast, is now the hotbed of Showdown-related activity. A forum is widely used, as is a useful search engine. The site sells the cards, which makes it one of the only ways to still buy discontinued Showdown cards. They also buy cards.
An examination of the forums reveals an interesting number of characters:
Mr. King/ Koufax: A Texas ultra-conservative who often tries to persuade others to take his views. He is like 50 but is still a kid at heart, playing hundreds of card games with Houston kids at his card/hobby shop every week. He is without a doubt the greatest MLB Showdown player alive; his DCI Ranking was #1, before DCI Rankings were discontinued. He plays with a group of several other Houston players every week or so.
Grady Sizemore: A very random guy who is hard to insult. He lives in Cleveland, and has given up Showdown in favor of potsmoking. He is currently the most prominent boarder in the Dug Out Section. Listens to weird music, is Croatian, and likes soccer. A lot.
BATCHMANIA: Grady's bitch.
[edit] Gorbaflips
1000 Morphflips.
Morthflips: 1000 Kintoflips
Kintoflip: 1000 Flips
Flip: One letter.
[edit] Something intresting
I'm bored, so if you read this add something intresting heres mine
- Would it be better if we pissed by leaking out our feet as we walked?
[edit] People Who Are Wankers
Here are a number of people where put on Channel 4`s "100 Greatest Wankers" program. Here are the people and the reason why they were nominated. Here are the top 30.
- Fiona Phillips-Anti-Scottish, pro-labour slut.
- Andrew Castle-Snobbish, ex tennis star who loves himself.
- Mel Gibson-Passionate hatred of all things English.
- George W Bush-Obvious.
- Osama Bin Laden Obvious
- Tony Blair Obvious
- The Iranian Prime Minister Because he`s a pro terrorist lunay.
- Jimbo Wales Anti-Elitist prick.
- User: Shir Khan Lesbian, pro human rights do gooder.
- User: Tawkerbot2 Cause it fucks up vandalism.
- Guy Walters cause he rights books that are stupid and terrible.
- John Prescott Cause he`s bloody useless.
- Jack Straw Because he`s a halfwit fanny.
- Jo Brand Cause her jokes about men are just shitty.
- Graham Norton Cause he`s an annoying fruitcake.
- Julian Clary Talentless wanker.
- Jade Goody Little whore
- David Beckham Weakling
- Victoria Beckham Dour, posing bitch
- User: Nightstallion Cause he`s a politically correct little shithead who wants to dismantle Britains Empire.
- Britt Allcroft Cause her recent series of Thomas the Tank Engine was so rubbish that it made my wee cousin cry.
- The Staff at Bradfords Bakers cause they are slow and put yellow meat in the sausage rolls.
- Mike Mendoza cause James Whale gets less time on the radio thanks to Mendoza getting an extra hour.
- Geoff Hoon He axed the Scottish regiments.
- Paul Burrell said nasty thigs about our beloved royal family
- Meera Syal Anti British, wants India to take over Great Britain
- Shekhar KapurAnti British with a mind to alter history.
- Ruth Kelly Fat manbest, who likes peados
- Stephen Dorril because he said bad things about Sir Oswald Mosley.
- Steve Jobs because he's sexualy attraced to apples.
- James Whale Anti Scottish tosser.
[edit] Pieism
A new sect of pieism has been discovered .It is called JoJo Pieism. They believe the pie has come to earth in the form of a man, JoJo. They follow the sacred scrolls of knowledge. Don't confuse this sect with the other one recently discovered. Now there are 5 sects of pieism. Strangely enough all the sects have come into being with out knowing about the others. Maybe the pie guides us to it. Please help spread the news!.
[edit] From Snakes on a Plane
[edit] Coroption of the entire human race
It was recently discovered by scientists that after you watch this movie you will do whatever Samuel L. Jackson tells you to do and you will never feel the need to live anymore because you feel that your life has been fullfilled enough after you watch Snakes On A Plane.
[edit] Wiki Syndrome
A non-serious psychological condition mainly effecting the intelligent and curious user of Wikipedia. It is characterised by a constant flitting from one article to another through links provided in an article. It can leave the sufferer confused as to how he or she managed to reach the article they find themselves on from the original area of their research.
I've had this. That and Wikiaddiction. - Ace-High 03:47, 1 September 2006 (UTC)
Joking aside, I really think this may be a real problem, whether it deserves it's own name or not I don't know.
[edit] Revival of Al-Zaraqwi
Two days after this death, Zarqawi came back to life with over twice as many hit points, and a wicked (in the 90's sense) new special attack. He explained that he was angry that he was never able to become an architect, and that his ultimate goal was to summon a black hole to devour the earth.
[edit] From List of computer games featuring ants
This is a list of computer games featuring ants.
- 3D Ant Attack
- Aardvark
- Ants
- Apidya
- C&C: Red Alert (Hidden campaign against giant ants. Instructions)
- Empire of the Ants
- It Came From the Desert
- NetHack
- Nobby the Aardvark
- Pushover
- Sim Ant
- Sim Brick
- Zany Golf
Contrary to popular belief, the games Zool and Zool 2 do not feature ants.
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- I don't understand why this article has been deleted. It is factual and interesting. It should stay.
- Check out Wikipedia:Articles_for_deletion/List_of_computer_games_featuring_ants for the deletion log. Ķĩřβȳ♥ŤįɱéØ
- I don't understand why this article has been deleted. It is factual and interesting. It should stay.
[edit] Removed from Bass Fishing.
There is a folk tale made several decades ago, about a rock and roller, and bass fishing.Angus Young has had a lively experience bass fishing when a large Mako shark attacked his boat, sensing the enormous aura of rock n' roll in that area. Angus promptly bombed the shark into sumbmission with a high C note from his guitar, a Gibson SG. The shark immediatly shriveled into a prune which was then eaten by Angus.
[edit] From Chuck Woolery
CHUCK IS AN EVIL MAN WHO EATS TENNIS BALLS! HE JUST EATS THEM WITH MANGO SALSA!!!!
[edit] An edit to Big Brother USA
In this edition, the public will help choose previous contestants to compete in an "All-Star" edition.
In the history section this was: 00:14, 13 April 2006 Maxamegalon2000 (Seasons - may God have mercy on our souls)
[edit] From Mimas (moon)
- That's not a joke. That's what Mimas actually looks like. Klosterdev 19:06, 1 August 2006 (UTC)
[edit] From Big Brother UK series 7 History Section
18:55, 11 June 2006 Francs2000 (Susie Verrico - delink Golden Shower because she isn't required to partake in Urolagnia)
[edit] From Davy Jones
One of the most bizarre vandalism edits I've ever seen --D-Day What up? Am I cool, or what? 19:23, 12 June 2006 (UTC)
[edit] Abu Musab al-Zarqawi and the International Ownage Scale
From an anon: [2]
He got 5o 0wn3d! Th3 uSa r0xxors! - anonymous
[edit] From the Science Reference Desk
how du i get my gutrl off. wesrs the clit? The preceding unsigned comment was added by 71.226.162.91 (talk contribs) 17:55, June 11, 2006 (UTC)
- What language are you speaking? This is English Wikipedia. JackofOz 01:23, 12 June 2006 (UTC)
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- Why do men always find it so difficult to ask for directions? If you want to know where to find your gutrl's clitorus, ask your gutrl. - Nunh-huh 01:36, 12 June 2006 (UTC)
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- Oh, so that's what the poster meant by "gutrl". If you (this question's poster) want to know how to find the clitoris, see this photo. --Bowlhover 02:00, 12 June 2006 (UTC)
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- You know, I think that explains why his typing's so hurried. He asked directions on the way. Black Carrot 02:02, 12 June 2006 (UTC)
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- Sadly, as anyone who has tried to put their gutrl's new Ikea sideboard together using the instructions and hex key provided can attest, simple directions are no guarantee to her ultimate satisfaction. Come to think of it, considering your unique phrasing style, is your job to write the aforementioned instructions? Rockpocket 04:51, 12 June 2006 (UTC)
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[edit] Toyocowzard
the Toyocowzard is a lizard roughly the size of a toyota. the major food source of the toyocowzard is the cow. Toyocowzards are very dangerous predetors due to the lazers that they shoot from their eyes while hunting. Toyocowzards often use these lazers to cook their prey alive before consuming them. the natural predetor of the Toyocowzard is the acid spitting llama.
[edit] German grammar
Ficken Means Fucking
Ich will mit dir schlafen (means = I want to fuck you or I wanna sleap with you)
Du bist ein Arschloch (means = You are a ashole )
Das ist der Peter (means = This is Peter)
Ich bin aus Albanien (means = I am a American Guy and I am proud about)
Das ist mein Schwanz (means = Say hello to my little friend)
[edit] From 100 People Who Are Screwing Up America
Some vandal kept putting this in:
[edit] Criticism
The book has faced criticism for its perceived bias by predominantly blaming leftists for the author's diminutive stature.
[edit] 53.2
53.2 is a decimal number which comes in between 52 and 53.
[edit] Anal seepage
Anal seepage is when you take a crap and it flows out in a constant brown, foul smelling flow. It comes when least expected and often leaves tracks on the rug. It is also hard to clean off your ass cheeks. It is caused by cannibalism and eating too much chuck e. cheese pizza.
[edit] Bill Clinton
The fifth line of Bill Clinton#Trivia held a surprising revelation about the man. Originally it read (unneeded links removed):
- Clinton is allergic to: dust, mold, pollen, and cat dander, mildly allergic to beef and dairy products.
which should have been:
- Clinton is allergic to: dust, mold, pollen, and cat dander, mildly allergic to beef and dairy products.
NB. sometimes clear, bubbly, and of seeman texture.
[edit] From Mass Exodus
Its not an exodus unless its a mass exodus.
- Hey! I wrote that! I'm on The Page! Woohoo! Dfrg.msc 09:29, 6 July 2006 (UTC)
[edit] From Piracy
[edit] Pirate jokes
One of the verbal tics commonly attributed to pirates in popular culture — "Arrr!" — has become the basis for many jokes and puns and much levity, such as International Talk Like a Pirate Day. For example:
- Q: What's a pirates favourite country?
- A: Arrrgintina"
- Q: Did you hear about the new pirate movie?
- A: Yeah, it's rated "Arrr!"
- Q: Why are pirates scary?
- A: They just "Arrr!"
- Q: Where do pirates go for picnics?
- A: Central Parrrrrk
- Q: What basketball player used to be a pirate?
- A: Kevin Garrrrrnet
- Q: How much does it cost for a pirate to pierce his ears?
- A: A buck an ear!
- Q: Where does a pirate keep his buccaneers?
- A: Underneath his buccan' hat!
- Q: What's a pirate's favorite breakfast food?
- A: Lucky Charrrrms
- Q: Where do pirates eat lunch?
- A: Arr-by's.
- Q: What's the 18th letter of the alphabet?
- A: Arrrr.
Another type of pirate joke centers on the ongoing debate over who would win in a fight: a pirate or a ninja?[3] Many of these work by exaggerating the masculinity of both classes. For example: "When a ninja kills you, you never see him coming." "Pirates, on the other hand, say "Arrr!", alerting you to their presence. Then they kill you anyway."
- These jokes are retarrrrded Klosterdev 19:10, 1 August 2006 (UTC)
[edit] From Colossal Squid
Colossal squid have long been a scourge of the sea, believed responsible for the deaths of many hapless sea farers. Recent estimations have Colossal Squids dominating all other species on earth in a one-on-one fight to the death. The Colossal Squid can defeat a TRex AND any type of whale, making it the most fearsome creature known to man.
[edit] From Wikipedia:Articles for creation: Omid Saramad
Omid Saramad is rumored to have been born on January 7, 1978 in Edison, New Jersey. He is currently a hat size analyst. Not too much is known about his early life, but the earliest known date of his activity occurred when he was only 13 years old. At this time he had moved to Warren, New Jersey and was currently attending the 7th grade. It was at time where he found out he had a unique talent for bird calling. While other kids his age were going to the local park to play basketball or tennis, he would sit in his tree-house calling out to birds. A few years later he attended a regional high school, where he discovered that he had an unusual and rare ability to correctly guess the size of one's fitted hat. This was only the beginning of his now promising career.
Growing up as a teen-ager Omid was a avid New York Mets fan. It was his dream job to analyze the hat sizes of the Mets players, coaches, and grounds crew. After completing high school he wrote a letter to the Mets organization suggesting the opening of a new position that would require the analyzing of hat sizes. Shortly afterwards they wrote him back, however it was not the news he had hoped for. The letter said that they currently did not need a position of that nature. Omid knew deep down inside that the Mets actually did need a position like that, but he felt they did not consider him because he did not have a college degree. Therefore he decided to attend Rutgers University in New Brunswick.
Omid decided to major in Human Biology, therefore he can learn about the size of other body parts in addittion to just head size. He started off just fine taking all of his core courses as well as courses pertaining to his major. It was near the beginning of his junior year at Rutgers when things took a change for the worse. The New York Mets were playing the rivaled New York Yankees in the 2000 World Series. It was Omid's dream to finally witness the Mets win a world championship, but his dream was shattered when attending game 5 of this elustrious series at Shea Stadium. Through 8 innings the score was tied 2-2, but in the top of the 9th with 2 outs, 2 consecutive batters reached. Luis Sojo singled off of Al Leiter driving in 2 runs to make the score 4-2 Yankees. Omid still had hope for his Mets in the bottom of the 9th. With Mariano Rivera coming in, he along with thousands of other Mets fans put on his rally cap. With 2 outs and a runner on 3rd, Mike Piazza was up at bat. Omid and the rest of the crowd were extremely estacic, but the he was silenced when Piazza flew out to Yankee center fielder, Bernie Williams. The Yanks took the series 4-1 clinching their 26th World Series Title. Omid did not say an entire word on the train ride home, and was not seen again for another couple of weeks.
It was around Thanksgiving when Omid was seen in back in New Jersey. He said he had been feeling down since the Mets lost and he did not know what to do. It was at this time when he was listening to the radio when he heard a verse from his favorite rapper, Tupac Shakur.
-"...still I rise so ya head up and make your mind strong; it;s a struggle everyday but you gotta hold on."
To this day Omid lives his life based upon these exact words. Upon returning back to New Jersey he decided to continue his quest of becoming a hat size analyst. 3 years later Omid finally received his degree in Human Biology. Immediatlely after his graduation in the spring of 2003, he received an offer from the San Diego Padres for the position of Hat Size Analyst. It was reported that Padres players were recently suffering from spontaneous headaches. Upon Omid's arrival to the Padres complex, he was able to get the right size hats for the players. There was a 100% decrease in the amount of headaches experienced by Padres players. In 2003 the Padres finished the season with an atrocious record of 64-98. Omid was there for the Padres the entire 2004 season. That year the Padres finished with a much improved record of 87-75, thanks to Omid's special ability. Last year the Padres ended up winning the NL West edging out the Diamondbacks and Giants, respectively.
At the conclusion of the 2005 season, Major League Baseball recognized his position by giving him the position of Chief MLB Head Size Analyst. He is now in charge of setting up stats for head sizes. He is best known for the work he has done this year. Omid discovered that the largest head in the game of baseball belongs to Kevin Mench (who also shares the same birthdate as Omid Saramad) who now wears a custom 8 1/4. Last year Kevin Mench wore a size 8, which caused a lot of discomfort. Omid was brought in to analyze his head. So far this season Mench has been more productive due to the size 8 1/4 hat. Kevin Mench has said in interviews that he is forever greatful to Omid Saramad.
[edit] From Phil Mitchell
In one notable scene, Phil Mitchell tried to murder Pat Butcher. He shot her with a gun but the bullet bounce off her large earings and hit him in the head. Phil went into a coma for 4 months and when he came out of the coma he went straight to Pat and tried to kill her again. REmarkably the exact same thing happened again with Phil going into a coma for only 3 months this time. When he camed out of the coma he had no recollection of ever trying to kill Pat.
[edit] From Cattle
Cows go MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
No, thats what the cows want you to think...
[edit] Meameamealokkapoowa Oompa
The NEW BIGGEST NUMBER is the Meameamealokkapoowa Oompa. Looking Like This: 1 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 ... And it Barely Ends.
[edit] From Richardland Middle School
[edit] Information
Richardland Middle School is a school located in the city of Richardland in Wisconsin. It is probably the most famous school in the world. It contains more then 800,000,312 students and faculty. Some students are aliens. The others are Humans.
[edit] Number of Students
- Human students: 808,000,312
- Alien Students: 800,000,000
[edit] Courses
- Advanced Tactical Training
- Airponics
- Anatomy
- Anthropology
- Archaeology
- Astrometrics
- Astronomy and astrophysics
- Biochemistry
- Biology
- Botany
- Calculus
- Cosmology
- Cryonics
- Dentistry
- Endocrinology
- Entomology
- Ethnobotany
- Etymology
- Eugenics
- Exo-psychology
- Exoarchaeology
- Exobiology
- Exochemistry
- Genetic engineering
- Geography
- Geology
- Geometry
- Gerontology
- Government and politics
- Gravimetrics
- History
- Dominion history
- Federation history
- Ferengi history
- Human history
- Vulcan history
- Xindi history
- Interstellar history
- Holophotography
- Hydroponics
- Latin
- Logic
- Mathematics
- Medicine
- Metaphysics
- Military History
- Mythology
- Klingon Mythology
- Vulcan mythology
- Nanotechnology
- Organic Chemistry
- Ornithology
- Paleontology
- Philosophy
- Ancient philosophy
- Borg philosophy
- Hirogen philosophy
- Human philosophy
- Klingon philosophy
- Romulan philosophy
- Vulcan philosophy
- Physics and chemistry
- Physiognomy
- Klingon Physiology
- Planetary classification
- Planetary science
- Psychiatry
- Psychology
- Space psychology
- Quantum mechanics
- Bajoran religion
- Human religion
- Klingon religion
- Robotics
- Seismology
- Sociology
- Stellar cartography
- Subatomic physics
- Subspace morphology
- Survival Strategies
- Temporal mechanics
- Terraforming
- Thanatology
- Transporter Theory
- Turn-of-the-Millennium Technology
- Volcanology
- Warp Theory
- Creative Writing
- Xenology
- Xenomythology
- Zoology
[edit] Faculty
- Dr. Nelson: Nurse
- Mr. May: Principal
- Mrs. Bergin: Librarian
- Mrs. Wojtczak: School Counceler
- Mrs. Bronikowski: School secretary
- Mr. Connell: Janitor
- Mr. Reed: Maintenance
- Mrs. Priesgen: lunch person #1
- Ms. Fraches: lunch person #2
- Neelix: lunch person #3
[edit] Teachers
- Mrs. Casper
- Ms. Hintz
- Mrs. Caya
- Mrs. Zuge
- Mrs. Rufener
- Mrs. Schultz
- Mrs. Schlitt
- Mrs. Benedict
- Mr. Hanlon
- Mrs. Panawash
- Mrs. Tortomasi
- Mrs. Hahn
- Mr. Fraundorf
- Mrs. Eisen
- Mrs. Dittman
- Mr. Platias
- Mr. Thompson
- Mr. Lovejoy
- Mrs. Miller
- Mr. Andress
- Mr. Bui
- Mrs. Thoele
- Mrs. Schuler
- Ms. Hanson
- Mrs. Thompson
- Mr. Mueller
- Mrs. Hintz
- Mrs. Henrick
- Mrs. Cincotta
- Mrs. Sievers
- Mrs. Madsen
- Mrs. Horvate
- Mrs. Skell
- Mrs. Detert
- Mrs. Thoele
- Mrs. Herrick
- Mrs. Runte
- Mrs. Johrendt
- Mrs. Lisko
- Mrs. Wentz
- Mrs. Kling
- Mrs. Kranz
- Mrs. Bauer
- Mrs. Johnson
- 46 other teachers
[edit] Amount of Students by gender
- 1. Of Male Students: 400000312 Student(s)
- 2. Of Female Students: 400000000 Student(s)
[edit] Human Students
- 1. Of Native American Students: 14000000 Student(s)
- 2. Of Asian Students: 17000000 Student(s)
- 3. Of Hispanic Students: 49000000 Student(s)
- 4. Of Black Students: 28000000 Student(s)
- 5. Of White (non-Hispanic) Students: 700000312 Student(s)
[edit] Alien Students
- Abbai: 20'000'000
- Andorians: 29000000
- Antedean: 20000000
- Anticans: 27000000
- Bajorans: 30000000
- Betazoids: 15000000
- Bolians: 15000000
- Brakiri: 18'000'000
- Breen: 3000000
- Cardassians: 30000000
- Cascor: 6'000'000
- Centauri: 8'000'000
- Changelings: 12000000
- Denobulans: 17000000
- Drazi: 14'000'000
- Ferengi: 29000000
- Gaim: 24'000'000
- Gorn: 30000000
- Grome: 12'000'000
- Halkan: 21000000
- Hirogen: 15000000
- Hurr: 24'000'000
- Hyach: 5'000'000
- Interspecific reproductive children: 240
- Ipsha: 5'000'000
- JemHadar: 28000000
- Kazon: 13000000
- Klingons: 30000000
- Live Eaters: 10'000'000
- Llort: 20'000'000
- Markab: 6'000'000
- Minbari: 29'000'000
- Narn: 4'000'000
- Pak'ma'ra: 7'000'000
- Romulans: 30000000
- Ocampa: 12000000
- Orions: 20000000
- Selay: 24000000
- Soong-type androids: 40
- Suliban: 27000000
- Talarians: 26000000
- Talaxians: 15000000
- Tellarites: 27000000
- Tholians: 25000000
- Trill: 32'000'000
- Vree: 4'000'000
- Vulcans: 30000000
- Xindi: 22000000
[edit] Floors
- 1.Basement
- 2.Classes A-C
- 3.Office, Cafeteria, Gym
- 4.Classes D-H
- 5.Classes L-P
- 6.Classes Q-Z
- 7.Arboritum, Holodeck, Cetecean labs
- 8.Boys Rooms
- 9.Boys Rooms
- 10.Boys Rooms
- 11.Boys Rooms
- 12.Boys Rooms
- 13.Boys Rooms
- 14.Girls Rooms
- 15.Girls Rooms
- 16.Girls Rooms
- 17.Girls Rooms
- 18.Girls Rooms
- 19.Girls Rooms
- 20.Attic
[edit] School Sports
[edit] Annual Science Fair
The Science fair is held every year in the 2nd Teusday in october. Each student participating must present a project that has to do with science. Only 20 Students are allowed to participate each year. The most common is the volcano experement.
[edit] Annual School Play
Each year on the 3rd wednesday in December and in the 3rd day in May the school Drama club must perform a play based on an original Book, Movie or Event in history.
[edit] Dress Code
The Dress code states that boys and girls must dress differently. The boys must where a blue uniform with blue pants and with a white and red tie. The girls must where a blue uniform with a blue skirt and a red and white tie.
[edit] Foundation of the school
The school was built in 1874 out of brick and limestone. It has alot of enrollments and is one of the most famous schools in the world.
[edit] Rules
- 1.All students must be in their rooms at 10:30 every Night
- 2.Only 4 students are allowed in one room
- 3.All students must respect others
- 4.Obey Teachers
- 5.Never Cheat
- 6.No Pets allowed in the school
[edit] School Dance
Every year the students go to a school dance where there is only one rule. Have fun.
[edit] Final Test
At the end of the year all students in their 10th grade year must participate in a final Quiz.
[edit] Movie of the week
Every friday at 4:00 PM the cafeteria becomes a movie hall. Thats because a movie is played in the cafeteria every friday.
[edit] From Trollz
He may not be faster than a speeding bullet or leap buildings in a single bound, but underneath his nerdinessWAY underneath therekeep lookingit's there I promiseway underneath is the classy, cool, and collected Alabaster. What's also amazing about Alabaster is how normalwell at least how down-to-earth he is despite his money.
[edit] From Stanism
Stanism is an exceptionally small, invented, joking religion, founded in mid 2005 by year 9 students of King Alfred's Community and Sports College, East Site, Wantage.
Stanism is the non-serious worship of the deity known as Stan (the name originated with a mis-spelling of Satan), who is purported to have bought the universe on e-bay. Stanists are generally silent when asked to provide further details of this transfer of power from whoever created the universe (Stanists remain silent on his/her identity) to Stan himself. Stan never paid for the universe because, when he bought it, it contained e-bay, meaning that he ruled the system and could remove the necessity of paying for universes.
Originally, Stan was known as the Erotic God of Kinkiness; he then became known to his followers as the True God of Everything, however.
Stan is opposed in all things by an entity known as Cheesus, an evil virgin who despises free sex. He is 400,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000x10^683,429,374,923,847,892,374 years old, meaning that he does, actually, predate the universe. One of Cheesus' plots to overthrow Stan was to spread the rumour that his foe would not be born for another six years; it is unknown what benefits he would have gained from this, had it succeeded. Stan is, in fact, infinitely old.
Another aspect of Stanism is Force Jeebus, the personification of chance and other, similar phenomena.
Stanists preach the coming of the Prophet Malcom, an entity who serves Stan devoutly and is, in a way, immortal. Whenever Malcom dies, his immortal soul is reborn at the very instant of his death; each of his lives lasts for thirty years. He is currently on his three hundred and seventh reincarnation and will die again in roughly sixteen years. He is the Voice of Stan on Earth, preaching Stan to the unbeliever, with remarkably little success so far, mainly due to the joking nature of the religion.
Another Prophet of Stan is the Prophet Nigel, who lives for sixty year stretches, then has a six year pause before his reincarnation. He is currently on his sixty-seventh reincarnation. He has no apparent purpose, he simply spends his time enjoying himself.
Unlike many religions, none of the Stanist tenets forbid homosexuality; Stan himself is bisexual, much like the ancient Greek God Zeus. Followers of Stan proclaim that he is not merely bisexual, but also heterosexual and homosexual simultaneously. They are generally silent on how this is possible.
The worship of Stan is quite simple. One forms a certain shape with one's main hand: thumb and middle finger extended, other fingers curled. One then taps one's breast on the same side as the hand being used, saying "worship Stan!" This is the shorter form of the ritual. When first becoming a Stanist, seeking absolution for a sin or celebrating the birthday of the Prophet Malcom (Septemeber 4th), the full ritual is performed. First, the shorter form of the ritual is performed and repeated four times (so it is done five times in total); following this, one kneels, performs an arm movement the same as is used in breast stroke once, then repeats the hand-and-mantra ritual five times, remaining on one's knees; following this, one lies on one's back, repeats the swimming motion and again performs the hand-and-mantra ritual five times. the ritual is then complete.
When a Stanist dies, he or she is left by the side of the road in a bin-bag for removal by Dave, God of Disposal. Following this, his or her immortal soul proceeds to the afterlife, where Stan makes all of his or her fantasies occur.
[edit] From Roger Bacon
It is not known whether Roger Bacon invented the sexual practice which bears his name.
[edit] Henmania (hens)
Henmania is the state of hysteria at the possibility of a hen winning the avian's singles at the Wimbledon Championships in tennis. Syptoms include shouting 'come on my feathered friend!' and 'you the henman!' at regular intervals.
It is commonly found on Hen Hill a large grassy bank in the All England Lawn Tennis Club with a large television screen so that the fans that have not managed to gain a ticket for the actual court side can watch the big matches.
A cure for Henmania could be:
- A hen managing to win the event.
- More high-standard avian British tennis players being in existence, thus de-saturating the mass support of hens in particular. A recently observed derivation is Pandamonium, after an Ursine Championship opened in 2004. This may not be a cure as such, but may well be a desirable alternative.
[edit] From 4chan
Dear heathens:
I've come to voice my anger against this atrocious "website" of yours.
I've heard a lot about 4chan. You guys have a Cockmangler who supposedly is really intent on giving other men fellatio, a pedophilic bear who likes little girls, and pictures of women with feces-excreting, phallic-shaped nipples. You brutally attack, through your words, African Americans, Native Americans, women, Jews, Arabs, homosexuals, and many other people who are not like you. You say that we should kill all undocumented citizens in the country. You host the most brutal pornography I have ever been unfortunate enough to see; most of your Korean "hentay" pushes the limits, especially the one with a political leader aborting babies and then proceeding to say that performing sexual acts on an unborn fetus is unquestionable. You tell unsure people asking for advice in times of dire need to perform anal sex as a solution for everything. You're the least politically correct site on the entire Internet.
To top it all off, you also are the source of all illegal cybercrime. What the hell goes through your mind? Believe it or not, there are children using computers, too.
I would like to inform you that if you don't lighten your act, I'm going to have to make an online petition to take this website off the face of the Internet.
So, what is it going to be? I know people in Congress who can say "youre moving with your aunte and uncle in bel-air!" I whistled for a cab and when it came near the License plate said fresh and had a dice in the mirror, If anything I could say that this cab was rare. But I thought now forget it, yo homes to bel-air!
I pulled up to a house about seven or eight. And I yelled to the cabby yo, homes smell you later! looked at my kingdom I was finally there, To settle my throne as the prince of bel-air.
With an extreme amount of hatred and malcontent,
Jonathan Harold Newman Concerned parent
[edit] Madame Coriander and Her exploding Ferrets
Formation
Formed in 2004 by a trio of dissident, angry young slightly left leaning quasi militant liberals as a backlash to moderately reformist moves by the government which were largely necessary and agreeable but contained a few minor flaws, a sadly backward looking approach in the appointment of the current Pope, a few of the more bureaucratic measures incurred in everyday life, and 'those bloody Republicans' (American conservatives, not British anti-monarchists), an agenda was immediately set to produce some of the finest music the world has ever seen emerge from the music to listen to whilst filling out your tax-return genre. Continual musical and singing contributions were made by The Fat Man, and Danny Laing too. Rumour has it that the name was based on eye-witness accounts of genuine druid activities, but this remains unconfirmed. So far, all that has prevented them from making a serious impact on the world of aphrodisiac homeowners is a lack of material, talent and motivation, yet a tour of Brora and possibly Dornoch is believed to be under planning.
The Early months
Originally formed by the trio who would remain the creative fulcrum, with regular songwriting and singing contributions from Danny Laing, the band soon invited Nick Olav Coster Coster into the fold as part time drummer and full-time figurine for the previously elusive Madame Coriander, his term was at once short lived yet crucial. After his informal and unofficial departure, the band took a back seat to concentrate on various interests in pottery, the Papacy, penguins, alliteration and The Campaign For The Appointment Of Tony Hibbert As Pope (TCFTAOTHAP for short), after a hectic first 2 weeks. Several compositions were formed in the highly productive Standard Grade French era, some of which remain enduring classics among the repertoire, despite their non-release. These include, Im sorry about the chainsaw Mister Christmas Tree, Austria Hungary, a largely forgotten rhythmic rondo and, of course, Monkey Breasts.
The Higher Biology and English era
A productive period followed, often dubbed the Higher Biology and English era, due to the location of most of the writing. With a new approach leaning heavily towards Jazz Fusion, new songs emerged, yet many songs still retained the classic style. Prominent amongst these was the blues ballad, My Baby is Lactose intolerant and Stalin was a banjoman. A new wave of Papaly inspired songs emerged from this era, such as Poping all over the World, Pope rap, and I always thought Tony Hibbert was the Pope, yet for many these were unimpressive and mediocre follow-ups to earlier work. For a long period the band effectively went into dormancy, although still maintaining creative productions.
Sixth Year- A return to form?
Early efforts to reawaken the hard hitting, tax auditing encouraging music of bygone years at first seemed doomed to failure. However, the band (and anyone who was there) were inspired by the first hearing of Nothing, a truly inspirational performance, took place. Early in 2006 moves began to take place about organising a tour of Brora, and the recruitment of Shawn The Prawn onto the drums as fulltime token crustacean.
Debate: There is some debate over the relevance of the band to the modern world. Many see their songs as nonsensical, but others view this nonsensical approach as essential to the spirit of the music, stating that the primary objective of music is to entertain, which is the aim of the lyrics.
Influences; The band sites various influences. The sounds, System of a Down, Half Man Half Biscuit, Jimmy Buffett, Tony Hibbert, Rob Styles, Sounds of the Adriatic Sea, Black Books, Scat singing in general, Bill Hicks and the bloke who wrote Yankee Doodle.
Discography
Im sorry about the chainsaw Mr Christmas Tree In Puerto Rico, we say Papa Bueno Austria-Hungary Green pubes Rhythmic rondo I am a squirrel Danny, will you dance with me? Shandy And a Cockney with Half Brick Ladder to my Bladder And they called him Alan Stubbs Monkey Breasts Stalin was a Banjoman Poping all over the world Pope rap Poping in da ghetto I always thought Tony Hibbert was the Pope Just one day in Shrewsbury (I lost my 99) Nothing My Baby is Lactose intolerant OVEN: The Musical (a Hotpoint Story) Ich gehe auf sonnenschein Hot Chocolate Sediment Blues My auntie Meg
Literature
The band have written several pieces of literature.
[edit] From Emo Boy
Even Thought Emo Boy makes Small Cameos at Connection Youth Group sometimes, it is widely accepted that Emo Boy is not going to Return. On June 14, 2005, it was proposed that the Emo Boy Wikipedia page be deleted. This is widely accepted as a bad idea on the grounds that if the page is deleted than Emo Boy will just cease to exist.
[edit] The documentary on: The town of Mini Poodles & George Bush w-a-n-n-a-b-e-s;
Narrator: It is an empty town, full of death and destruction. Though many belive mini poodles and George Bush w-a-n-n-a-b-e-s have nothing in common. That's not true. The IQ is about the same, the dignity is about the same, and the simpletonnessess is the same. It has been overrun by Democratts, Iraqians, and giant poodles. Please, help this nation, I mean town, restore what it once was. call 1-800-123-4567. thank you.
George Bush: Hoooraaaaayyyyy!!!!!!!!!
Mini poodle: grrrrr (poodle leaps up at mauld narrator)
Narrator: HELP! GET THIS BEEEEP THING OF ME! BEEP! BEEP! WHAT THE BEEP ARE YOU DOING NOW? NO DON'T GNAW THERE! HOLY BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!!!!!
This program was brought to you by; theidiotswholetMarthaStewartcreateherownversionoftheapprectinceINC.
[edit] Steve Guttenberg: dog owner (from Dog)
Famous and Noteworthy Dog Owners:
1. Steve Guttenberg: Guttenberg, the world's worst-smelling man, developed an interest in dogs when his father was eaten by a dog when Steve was a child. His father, Hemerold Guttenberg, director of the short film "Being Eaten by Dogs" (1938), eventually suffured for his art. The day after Hemerold died, Steve Guttenberg bought a dog farm, and became the first dog owner of all time. He is currently the owner of over 48 million dogs, and fighting a federal court case accusing him of being an amatuer pedorist.
[edit] Robin Williams (Deity)
Robin williams was born in cirenester, england at an unknown time, he lived there next to the present leader of earth, henry rackley, they talked a little bit at school, even annoyed some teachers, they had a good time, but then they decided to leave the peasentry of the british countryside and venture out world wide, they touched the lives of millions, before henry rackley was executed for a resistance movement made against those fucking liberals of the labour party, robin went to the funeral and proceeded to vow on henry's death that he would destroy the labour party. That very day he got shot for doing that very same thing, along with mr T and chuck norris, when they went up to heaven they all argued over who should get the seat next to god, chuck norris said 'i should gte to sit next to god because im fucking chuck norris', mr T said 'i pity the fool who doesnt let me sit next to god' and Robin went up to go and said 'i believe you're in my seat'. And that children, is the story of the two greatest men who ever lived.
[edit] From Christian Right, issues supported
Support for prayer in school (organized beyond what will inevitably occur due to the existance of exams)
[edit] Godzilla's history
Godzilla (AKA Gojira) has been indirectly with japan for thousands of years, when the mongols attacked Japan, the japanese were saved by a typhoon that obiterated the mongols, the japanese called a kamikaze (divine wind) was actually was created by Godzilla. When the mongols attacked again, another typhoon came from Godzilla's wrath.
[edit] Aqua-hoochie
Aqua-hoochie'''''is a distinct amphibious species belonging to the hoochie family. The general characteristics of the ubiquitous hoochie family include dressing or behaving in a wanton manner that promotes their sexual promiscuity.
The aqua-hoochie underscores the adaptability of the hoochie family in the face of global environmental trends like global warming or even summer pool parties. In an era where pimps, playas and ballers might take to the pool, hot tub or the ocean for relief, the aqua-hoochie can track down partners in amphibious settings, leaving hoochies that are confined to terra firma environs stone cold kicked to the curb.
This species was discovered by a graduate student on June 15, 2006 at the University of California Irvine. The aqua-hoochie was spotted diving into a pool with great vigor and velocity in an attempt to snare a prospective male partner (who happened to be a professional basketball player).
[edit] Lucy bb
Lucy Bigbott was born and raised in a small hut in Zanzibar. She lived next to Freddie Mercury. She even reseived his signature when he visted his hometown with his fellow band members from Queen. She moved to Colorado after getting a terrible sun burn. It was devistateing. it lasted For a WHOLE year and maybe even longer if she hadn't moved to colorado. There she met Ex Trem ly Bigbott. Who happened to have the same name as her. They desided to get married emediatly. They where both 110. they died the next day.it was sad.
Here is a form filled out by Lucy:
Name: Lucy Bigbott Date:September 4,1913 (first day of school.)
Age: 12
Birthday: November 1, 1901 (9-1-1)
Favorite color: The color of my pants I don't know what color we're learning our colors tomorrow.
[edit] from Volkswagen
Volkswagen is a type of car built in Germany.
Hitler drove Volkswagens.
[edit] Emperor Gluteus Maximus
Emperor Gluteus Maximus was a popular Roman emperor of the 5th dynasty period. He was mainly famous for commisioning the bulding of the huge aquaduct in what is now modern day France, in 562 A.D.
Gluteus Maximus first gained power after his brother, Caligula the 1st, was assassinated by the Imperial Senate. The populace of Rome expected Gluteus Maximus to be the same cruel tyrant as his brother, and were pleasntly surprised when he turned out to be the kind, benevolent ruler that he was.
He died of a headache at the age of 86.
[edit] From KJNP-TV
KJNP-TV is a full-service television station on the North Pole. Broadcasting locally on VHF channel 4 as an affiliate of the Trinity Broadcast Network, KJNP-TV provides valuable missionary services to various polar bears and whales. The Evangelistic Alaska Missionary Fellowship, owners of the station, teach locals to look to Santa, not Satan, for guidance in their lives. The station was founded to allow the local villagers, elves, and reindeer to celebrate the true meaning of Christmas.
Paul Crouch, founder of the Trinity Broadcast Network, praised the station for spreading the word of God from its strategic Northern location, noting that it "brings the good news to those Godless commies."
The station is currently working on their "Vision-Digital" project, which will bring a new, high-definition Jesus to the people of the Great White North. In addition, the station publishes several tracts, including "Miracle at the North Pole", which tells the true story of the first evangelical mission to the North Pole and the founding of Santa's Workshop.
[edit] Moved from article on Flatulence
- A flatulence is also a special type of emergenccy vehicle used to jumpstart the heart of very small elephants of the Indian &/or African kind. it is so named because when elephants come into contact with the chemical known as anthrax, their anuses close up, and the elephant ultimately dies from an inability to excrete bodily waste. The name flatulence is relevant to a elephantine jumpstarter because anthrax also has been known to temporarily stop the heart of any elephants unlucky to come into contact with it.
[edit] Jumping Shark
Jumping sharks are a type of shark that can leap great heights in search for prey. If they do not kill their prey (usually humans) instantly, they will continue their quest before slithering back into the water. They have developed the ability to move quickly over land, sometimes jumping surprisingly fast. These sharks have been known to break through barriers, such as netting or glass, to get at their prey.
Government Efforts
The federal government has worked with local organizations to curb jumping shark related deaths, however, these efforts have been thwarted by the PETA and GREENPEACE organizations. Shark population levels remain at a steady level at the time of this writing (2003), but are expected to peak during the summer of 2006.
Population
The jumping sharks live mostly in saltwater, northern areas. Seattle is a particularly welcoming climate for the sharks, particularly around the shipping lanes. For some reason, the sharks tend to gravitate along the same paths used by human ships. Some marine biologists suspect this is because they like to jump onto the decks of ships. There are several incidents of this. Most people don't know that Seattle's nickname, "The Emerald City", is a reference to the emerald color of the jumping sharks' eyes.
Media Control
The government has made efforts to quiet the sensationalist media trying to make a brouhaha about the jumping shark issue. This has gone so far as to provide generous subsidies to shipping companies "avoid" reporting jumping shark attacks. More often then not, this involves fabricating other reasons for the worker injury, not installing actual safety measures. Government spokesmen continue to assure people that the problem is under control, but several underground news sources continue to report regularly on shark deaths.
[edit] From Ghostopus
Ghostopus
The Ghostopus is a fabled creature of unknown cultural origin rumoured to inhabit the "oceans deep". Perhaps the only tangible pieces of information available about the Ghostopus are that it wears a hat and is actually a ghost octopus of some sort. Efforts to locate the Ghostopus have proved unfruitful. It is rumoured that the creature has a underwater "sea cabbage garden" that it enjoys tending to. Below is the only known representation of the Ghostopus.
[edit] From Herbert Hoover
He also had an obsessive relationship with animals, notably hairless gorillas. I mean seriously. This guy just loved gorillas. He was caught many a times in zoo's trying to mount gorillas in their exhibits. Thats why congress impeached him and Calvin coolidge was like "HE AIN'T MY DADDY!!!!". Herby went on to star in a multitude of pornographic videos where he donned the name "Hoover Vaccuum" for inexplicably powerful lungs. Hebert currently resides with his mother.
[edit] From Universe
In materialist philosophical terms, the total pie is the summation of all pieces of pie exists and the filling all tasters occur. In[cosmology|cosmological]] terms, the pie is thought to be a finite or infinite space-time continuum in which all filling and tastiness exist.Has been hypothesized by some scientists that the universe may be part of a system of many other universes, known as the multiverse.
The part of the pie that can be seen or otherwise observed is usually called the pastry, observable pie, or visible pie. Because cosmic inflation removes vast parts of the total pie from our observable pie, most pie eaters accept that it is impossible to observe the whole pie and may use the expression our pie, referring only to that knowable by pie tasters in particular.
[edit] Pastry and pie, and the Big Gang Bang theory
The most important result of pie eating, the understanding that the pie is expanding, is derived from pastry rise in the oven observations and quantified by Hubble's Law. Extrapolating this expansion back in time, one approaches a gravitational singularity, a rather abstract pie eating concept, which may or may not correspond to real pies. This gives rise to the Big Gang Bang theory, the dominant pie in pie-eating circles today. The age of the pie from the time of the Big Gang Bang, was estimated to be about 13.7 billion (13.7 × 109) years, with a margin of error of about 1 % (± 200 million years), according to NASA's WMAP (Wilkinson Microwave Anisotropy Probe). However, this is based on the assumption that the underlying pie used for data analysis is correct. Other methods of estimating the age of the oldest pie give different ages.
A fundamental aspect of the Big Gang Bang can be seen today in the observation that the farther away from us pies are, the faster they move away towards us. It can also be seen in the pie making industry which is the much-attenuated pie making industry that originated soon after the Big Gang Bang. This background pie-making industry is remarkably fat in all directions, which pie eaters have attempted to explain by an early period of pie manufacturing following the Big Gang Bang. (all this talk of pie is making me hungry!)
[edit] History of the Universe
In the classic 1977 book The First Three Pies, Nobel Prize-winner Steven Weinberg laid out the physics of what happened just moments after the Big Bang. As with most things in physics, that certainly wasn't the end of the story, as attested by the update and reissue of The First Three Minutes in 1993.
[edit] Pre-Matter Soup (mmmm....tasty)
Until recently, the first hundredth of a pie (i like pie!) was a bit of a mystery, leaving Wiener (ha ha ha wiener!) and other sausages unable to describe exactly what the pie (mmm...) would have been like. New recipes for pie (mmm...) at the Relativistic Heavy Ion Collider in Brookhaven National Laboratory have provided pie eaters around the world with a glimpse through this curtain of high pie tastiness (mmmmmm....pie), so they can directly observe the sorts of pie that might have been taking made in this time frame.(raaaah!!)
At these energies, the quarks that comprise protons and neutrons are not yet joined together, and a dense, superhot mix of quarks and gluons, with some electrons thrown in, is all that can exist in the microseconds before it cools enough to form into the sort of matter particles we observe today.
[edit] Lyle Moxsom
Lyle Moxsom. Born 22 April 1990.
Lyle Moxsom is the sexiest dude around. In his spare time he enjoys beating up little kids and eating crumpets. In 5 years every magazine on music will have at least one article about how very amazing Lyle is and how his talent is unparalleled. He has a friend called Sean who is very stinky and likes playing with his balls while thinking of David Bowie.
[edit] From Wulffmorgenthaler
History & creators Wulffmorgenthaler got its start on the "design portal" k10k.net, and then quickly moved to its own website after garnering extensive positive attention and a great fan following. The comic has upwards of 1500 strips to date, and the website receives more than 15,000 visitors a day.
Mikael Wulff (b. 1972) is a comedian and writer. He performs live comedy and does television work in Scandinavia. Any insinuation that he is the same Mikael Wulff who was prosecuted, but never convicted, of a series of potted tulip robberies in Rotterdam in 1994 is libelous and will be treated as such by Mr Wulff's lawyers.
Anders Morgenthaler (b. 1972) is an illustrator, graphic designer and director of animation who also does live action filmmaking. He has completed several short films and music videos, and is currently making his debut animated feature film, Princess, produced at Zentropa, which is located in Avedore, Denmark. Princess is about the porn industry which has fascinated him since his first sexual experiences. Anders is the sole survivor of a 1987 Panda attack that occurred in the Copenhagen Zoological Garden when a male Panda, Niels, was over-fed stimulants in an attempt to help it mate.
[edit] Refrigerator midgets
The Fenoxilius Orrea, or as they are more commonly known- "Refrigerator Midgets", are a rare species usually reffered to as "gremlins" due to the fact that they are green. Little is it known, these creatures live inside each and every self-respecting refrigerator. If you have ever wondered how come the light bulb in your refrigerator knows exactly when to turn itself on and shut itself off (with the opening and closing of the refrigerator door), you will be suprised to know that the bulb isn't thinking at all (due to the fact that lightbulbs are NOT capable of deep thought). It is actually your little "refrigerator midget" friend who does all the dirty work.It is impossible to know exactly how many "refrigerator midgets" exist today, one can only assume there are around 45,340,211 in existance.
[edit] Appearence and Anatomy
"Refrigerator Midgets" are about quarter the hight of faucet plugs (this ranging from 2 mm to 7 mm). They are completely green and have unproportionally long arms. They do not wear a hat, their head is just shaped in a suggestive fashion. Other than that, they look like a typical overweight rage-holic male, some say they resemble Eric Cartman ("southpark"), some rumors even state that eric was deliberatly designed as one, the writers deny this. It is assumed that they have only 4 main internal organs: a liver, and 3 lungs all in different colors, together these colors produce the green halo around them everytime they exhale. This however is only a theory, since they were never caught and examined. the "Refrigerator Midgets" have a high blood temperature, therefore they must stay cool at all times (these conditions are met only in a refrigerator).
[edit] Life
No-one knows for sure how they are born, some rumors state they spawn out of old mayonnaise left in the refrigerator for too long, conspiracy investigators suspect super corporations of creating them, however the tought of refrigerator designers creating life is just ridiculous. Their entire life is spent turning the lights in the fridge on/off, once a fridge stops cooling them, they melt. They are rarley spotted, due to the fact that they camouflage themselves, and are really tiny. They eat leftovers, they never eat cake.
[edit] Humans and "Refrigerator Midgets"
It is said that the entire human civilization would crash if it weren't for "Refrigerator Midgets" ,without them people would not be able to see what is in their fridge and therefore starve to death. This scenario has not been tested yet.
[edit] "Refrigerator Midgets" and religion
Some believe that stepping on a midget will make god like you and send you a goat, not-suprisingly, the same people believe the moon in inhabited by orangutangs.
[edit] famous "Refrigerator Midget" quarterbacks
"Refrigerator Midgets" do not play football, therefore, there are no famous "Refrigerator Midget" quarterbacks.
[edit] From Wikipedia:Stub types for deletion
- Proposal to delete {{SerbiaMontenegro-stub}} / Category:Serbia and Montenegro stubs and {{SerbiaMontenegro-geo-stub}} / Category:Serbia and Montenegro geography stubs
Never gained much use and the country shuffled off its mortal coil yesterday. While the former might be worth retaining in a historical sense (a la {{Soviet-stub}}), it's already been emptied and last time I checked there was something like three articles in the parent, so no great loss there. I must confess to already re-parenting the respective Serbian and Montenegrin geo cats up a level to the European geo parent, so apologies for breaching convention, but haven't made any edits to the various official trees. Someone's already emptied the S&M geo cat, too, which may have implications for the ongoing Kosovo headache. The Tom 03:34, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
- Sounds like a good idea. Mind you, the Montenegrin categories are very small - it may be a case of watching them to see whether they grow. if they don't something may have to be done with them. Kosovo...sigh. I suppose we'll hear about that sooner or later. Grutness...wha? 05:03, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
- In the case of Montenegro, the generic and -geo categories have 55 articles each and the -bio category is above threshold (68). Given the recent events, they'll probably have a good growth potential. And the K-word situation is just ... tricky. In any case, there's no use to keep the {{SerbiaMontenegro-geo-stub}}. I don't have any clear preferences regarding the generic {{SerbiaMontenegro-stub}}, but on the drop of a hat, {{Yugoslavia-stub}} seems like a better keep. Valentinian (talk) 14:35, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
....
-
- Strong pain in the arse. Oh yeah, you wanted something actionable, rather than a general complaint... Delete. I was rather suspicious of the depopulation, but it seems to have been as a result of more (highly predictable) silliness over Kosovo (Kosovo! Serbia! Albania! None of the above!), and as these types offer no logical solution to that issue, they might as well just clog up Euro-geo-stub for a little longer. Rescope Yugo-stub to cover all the various now-historical salami-sliced successor states, as well as the Cold War era origina. 21:43, 9 June 2006 (UTC)
- It's called "Balkanisation" for good reasons! The mystery of the kosovo-geo-stubs has been solved, BTW - as a compromise they're being kept in the main Europe geography stubs catgory. At least all sides seem to agree that Kosovo's in Europe. And with only 25 or so stubs there's litle need of a separate template yet. Grutness...wha? 00:07, 11 June 2006 (UTC)
[edit] From Randomness
[edit] Taken from the now deleted page BJAODN
Protected BJAODN: DO NOT RECREATE DELETED CONTENT [edit=sysop:move=sysop
[edit] Boxipuss
Taken from an article deleted and re-created multiple times:
- The Malaysian Boxipuss
- The Boxipuss was believed to exist roughly 10,000 years ago. There have been discussions for many years upon the characteristics of this mythical creature but it is believed that it has a square shaped body (thus the name “Boxipuss”) although some people would argue that it was rectangular. They are believed to be once part of the Octopus family, though many have said they originated from the squid species. Fossils of the Boxipuss were found on the shores of Kuala Terengganu of Malaysia. Locals have said that they have heard of the myth of the Boxipuss from tales being passed on through generations. There is no actual evidence upon the existence of the creature therefore local townspeople are doubtful to whether it was actually on the planet all those years ago. Visit this site for more information http://www.wcs.org/international/Asia/Malaysia
[edit] Dietary estrogen feminist conspiracy
Increasing numbers of men show very "female" personality characteristics and behaviour. Over the last two decades, more and more studies have shown the gradual feminisation of men. Examples include excessive emotion where they would traditionally be stoic, losing their equal place in society, losing the right to custody of their children in divorce cases, being asked to change seat away from unaccompanied minors on airplanes, sexual harrassment by women work colleagues, the list goes on and on.
All these are examples of men losing out in modern day society. What is the common link? Well it has to be the excessive dietary estrogen surely. The quantity of estrogen consumed by men in their diet has increased 25 fold in the last 20 years. This has lead to weak crying men with saggy chests (and usually domineering wives).
Estrogen leeches into the modern diet from any and all routes. It's a byproduct of fertilizers, its also an effect of any oil based product - that includes all fuel, lubricants, plastics. Just take a minute to think about that especially the last - plastics. From the outset, baby food is in plastic containers, milk is in paper cartons but with a plastic liner, new clothes come wrapped in plastic, etc etc... the list goes on.
Well the effect has been the gradula destruction of the alpha male from the human population. One has to wonder, who benefits from this ultimately. Anyone with a reason to decrease the strength of the human population has to be a suspect. This could be the so called thirld world nations where most of the population don't have exposure to plastics, oil or fertilizer. But that seems rather far fetched and cynical. The other suspects are qually far fetched - extra terrestials would benefit greatly from weakening the dominant sex in any future takeover of our planet. Now that's a thought.... The main beneficiaries to this weakening of men however, are of course WOMEN. They are the least fanciful of suspects, are cunning and scheming enough, and have far more to gain in the short and long term by taking over as the dominant sex. The insiduous way this has crept in also points to typically female methodology. Men are becoming increasingly unecessary. The advent of sperm banks and vibrators and the increasing acceptance of lesbianism have all contributed to men becoming all but redundant in the modern world.
I would appeal to the men of this world, start looking after yourselves, physically, mentally and emotionally. Don't let the other side win.
[edit] From Talk:Che Guevara
[edit] Che Stadium
Isn't there a stadium named after Guevara?
"Che Stadium"?
72.82.195.2 01:32, 19 June 2006 (UTC)
I hope that was a very bad pun on your part.
72.68.171.50 23:01, 21 June 2006 (UTC)
[edit] From Kitchen hippo
The kitchen hippo is a African animal that likes eating algae and plankton.It attracts females by stamping its foot on the ground and throwing up. It lives in Niger, Zimbabwe, Seychelles, Angola, and Ghana. It has many predators like the Lion, the Hyena, and the Eagle. It is an endangered species, and scientists say it will be extinct in 10.8 years.About 150,400 are killed each year. It furs are used for coats, carpets, vests, shirts, etc. Its blubber is a valued food in many nations because of its rich liver. It is called the kitchen hippo because the pattern on its stomach looks like a spoon, knife and fork.
What You Can Do To Save It
- Don't buy Kihi brand clothes.
- Don't keep as pet.
- Don't feed it broccoli, tofu, or dishsoap because it is fatal to the hippo.
- Don't throw sticks at it, that gets it mad, and will try to run you over, but will kill itself.
[edit] AntiAntiVandalBot
AntiAntiVandalBot (talk · contribs · logs · block user · block log) is a vandalbot impersonating AntiVandalBot (talk • contribs), so "bot wars" have resulted, like this: diff in Centrifuge (camps).
[edit] Harbertism
Harbertism is a religion created by Nathan Harbert in the early 90s. Harbertism is the belief in Hobbes, the god of the north, and Calvin, the god of the South. In order to become apart of this religion, one must read the books of Harbertism and become aware of his/her surroundings.
[edit] Browns Canyon Wash bicycle path
[edit] Description
[edit] Entry Points / Parking
[edit] Maintenance
[edit] Current Condition
[edit] Future plans
[edit] References
[edit] External links
[edit] Acknowledgements
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[edit] Calvin and Hobbes (this article originally from Uncyclopedia, but showed up here)
An anonymous contributor, 202.6.138.34 (talk • contribs), quietly submitted this as a replacement for the real featured article.
Calvin and Hobbes was an action-packed buddy comedy series that ran from 1542-1549, featuring philosophers John Calvin and Thomas Hobbes as themselves. The series was noted for its recurring themes of theological introspection, philosophical anthropology, the study of the nation-state, and use of cardboard boxes that could turn into any machine they wanted it to.
The series confused many, as Hobbes himself was not born until 1588 - some 40 years after the show last aired. This seeming anachronism was explained by the fact that only Calvin could see Hobbes - leading to debate over if Hobbes was real or merely a figment of Calvin's imagination.
Today, Calvin is most famously known as "that guy who urinates on the Ford logo."
[edit] Characters
[edit] John Calvin
John Calvin is ecclesiastical reformist and psychic detective who can see into the future because everything is "predestined by God." He nominally attempts to solve mysteries, but usually ends up being sidetracked by getting into fights with Catholics or Arminians, whom he eventually always challenges to a game of Calvinball. His strict adherence to predestination meant that he would give up pretty easily in everything he was doing, and simply say that God predestined him to give up and it was out of his control. This allowed Calvin to generally be a lazy douche. While he was typically a devout Christian, when he was angry Calvin would occasionally threaten God that he would become an atheist (see right). God had no comment.
[edit] Thomas Hobbes
In contrast to Calvin, Hobbes is far more cynical about human nature. The two would get into philosophical debates and crack big cases together. Interestingly, whenever someone other than Calvin looked at Hobbes, they simply saw a stuffed tiger. When Calvin got sidetracked, Hobbes would remind him that they should go back to solving their mystery - usually via some clever method of investigation that involved tossing water balloons at Calvin's neighbor, Susie, from their tree house.
[edit] Series format
"Calvin and Hobbes" was set in contemporary 16th Century Europe, where a number of zany things were constantly going on, including the Protestant Reformation, the return of explorers from the New World, and the unsightly release of several Queen Elizabeth sex tapes.
In each episode, individuals would get into some sort of trouble, and having nowhere else to turn would call for the assistance of Calvin (and Hobbes) to help them. The two would travel in their red wagon looking for clues, which would always end up crashing somewhere and leaving them to use their own wits to get their way out of trouble. More often than not, they would be able to get their selves out of trouble or solve a mystery by using the magical power that is the cardboard box. Notable usages include:
- Episode 4: Calvin and Hobbes turn a cardboard box into a time machine and save Anne Boleyn from the axe.
- Episode 22: The two modify a cardboard box to turn into a duplicator, so that Calvin can create clones of himself to fight his arch nemesis and the series’ main villain, the Pope.
- Episode 31: A cardboard box becomes a transmogrifier, which transforms swarms of people into "Calvinists."
- Episode 44: The cardboard box is used to sneak Solid Snake past his enemies.
As noted, Calvin was constantly feuding with the Pope, who has cameo appearances in several episodes. Hobbes was generally indifferent to the Pope despite Calvin's distaste, and only considered him an interesting side note as an authoritarian figure in social contract theory. Other running gags in the series included:
- Calvin constantly avoiding baths (although honestly, this was pretty common in the 1500s)
- Fighting Dinosaurs, which at the time lived in Tilbury.
- Tormenting Susie Derkins, a nearby landlord with properties adjoined to Calvin's.
- Playing Calvinball.
[edit] Notable Episodes
- Episode 7: The Five Solas Calvin learns the secret that salvation is attained purely through divine grace, whilst Hobbes explores his sexual fetish for Tuna.
- Episode 9: Nasty, Brutish and Short Calvin builds a snowman but Hobbes kicks it to pieces while screaming that without a strong monarch, all of human life would reduce to warfare, owing to the mechanistic and selfish nature of man himself - through a tannoy.
- Episode 18: Leviathan The duo learn that a giant sea monster has been eating ships, and the two race to transmogrify it.
- Episode 26: The Hugonauts Calvin turns into Spaceman Spiff and leads a gang of space explorers, all coincidently named "Hugo."
- Episode 30: On the Citizen Hobbes sets out to found a society based on the natural condition of mankind, but Calvin ruins it when the entire civilization is burned down following a game of Calvinball against Jacobus Arminius.
- Episode 38: Doppelgangers! People that look just like Calvin and Hobbes show up (they are actually played by Calvin and Hobbes themselves). Come on, you know every series has this episode. And the episode where they switch bodies. And the one where the guy accidentally winds up with two dates at once and has to switch back between them. And the one where they get trapped and reminisce on past episodes. And the one where one of the characters pretends to be sick to get out of doing something, and winds up learning some valuable life lesson. And the one where the good guys get their name sullied and become on the wrong side of the law, and they have to fight to prove their innocence. And the one where...
- Episode 46: G.R.O.S.S Calvin and Hobbes form G.R.O.S.S (Get RefOrmed, Slimy churcheS), an organization dedicated to Protestant reform. However, they never actually do anything as they spend the whole episode giving themselves titles and awards.
- Episode 50: The Noodle Incident The famous lost episode, of which the last copy was destroyed in the Great Fire of 1666, which was caused by improper distribution of a particular s'mores ingredient (notably fire). To this day, nobody knows what the Noodle Incident was about, though some contemporary records refer to the episode as "friggin hilarious."
[edit] Influence
Calvin and Hobbes became the top rated series of its time quickly and inspired several knock off shows, such as "Luther and Locke," and "Aquinas and Descartes." The fad faded over time though, and the series was cancelled. However, re-runs of the program would remain popular in syndication for many years, and the show has a following from a new generation around the time that Hobbes was actually alive.
After the show's initial run, Calvin became a spokesman for Cabriolet Horse-Drawn Carriages in a successful advertising campaign in where he urinated on carriages made by competing companies. The ads became so well known that Calvin's earlier work was mostly forgotten and he became solely known for urinating on carriages. Over the years, the association has continued and a caricature of Calvin is depicted doing the same on modern motor vehicle decals. These decals can be seen mainly on pickup trucks in the United States South.
[edit] See Also
[edit] Scouts in Skirts
Scouts In Skirts are a renegade Scout Troop from South-East England, who started making music in response to kicked out of the Scout Inner Circle by the reincarnated spirit of Lord Baden Powel.
Many feared them dead for several decades, consumed by death during the Great Scout War, but this infact, was proven to be a lie, a cover-up if you will by the Scout Government, as the SiS had secretly been working for Lord Powel in a bid to find and stop Helena Bonham Carter through any means nessecery.
Seven years ago, a sunday tabloid, who shall remain nameless, printed an article linking the SiS with the use of black magic to influence record sales. This claim was furiously denied by the bands witch-doctor on the grounds that they had yet to form at this current time.
The band itself has been described as the best thing to ever come out of a forest, above even the clean air given out by the masses of trees. This led to band member Panther Star 3.5's extravagant claim that the SiS were infact "bigger than air". As environmentalists around the world fumed at the idea of children forgoing air for the SiS, it was pointed out that Mr Star actually meant that if all the members of the SiS stood on each others heads, they would in fact be "bigger" than the band air, who only have two members, so logicaly would be shorter.
Musically the SiS are less gifted than Ringo Starr, but this has not stopped them in their quest for domination of the charts. Debut E.P "Verderer Love" including the tracks "Wam Bam Booty Slam", "Homosapien" and "Fish of the Day" burst into the charts at such a low position we forgot all about it, the Next release "Channel Tunnel Of Love" performed even worse, with all stockists of music around the world refusing to sell it on the grounds it wasnt musically viable to listen to. With anger levels rising in the SiS camp, they have returned with a beast of record - The Love Brigade, and it's one that they describe as "Corfin Reetal", words they that hope one day will come into modern circulation, in place of other exclamatorys such as "great" and "super". Early previews have been positive, with phrases such as "tuneful noise" "better than eating your own foreskin" and "rubbish, but far better than the last effort" being bandied about by the english music press.
The Scouts themselves have come up with their own genre of music for the explorations in sound. They call it !BANG!. They hope that people come away froma gig, and finish listening to an album, and feel like there has been a musical bomb in their head. As they fuse togther elements of Rumba, Kayaks, and Space Rumba, no one can prepare themselves for the music within...
[edit] Band Members
Hazel Danger - keyboards/sexuality/samples & superstar megamixes/cheerleading/cow bell & other assorted percussion/vocals
Hazel has an exact replica of the Abraham Lincold memorial made from matchsticks which was given to him by the Elephant Man
Panther Star 3.5 - guitars/percussion/roller discos/naughtiness/noises/bass/weaving/vocals/keyboards
Panther was abonded by his mother at a young age and lived with talking walruses on the French coast
Mr Phosforous/Dr Laytex - drums/radiant smiles/high-5s.
Mr Phosforus used to work in a lightbulb factory. Dr Laytex pulls out teeth and selss them on Ebay
Thorsten Catnip - guitars/kazoos/raver's whistle/ham tasting/vocals.
The SiS' german exchange student. Born without a nose.
Rabbitte Manne - vocals/dancing/cheerleading/hand-claps & other assorted percussion. Rabbitte has the tightest buttocks in Europe, once crushed an elephant with them.
Chikky Makane - bass/brutality/buttering the toast/local anaesthetic/noises/dread/vocals/drum machine. Once woke up to find a monkey touching him. Pretened he was still asleep so that the monkey wouldnt stop.
Seventy Piratus - guitars/keyboards/drum machine/noises/programming/vocals/grapes/gropes/grapes Seventy is Bill Gates half brother and hopes one day to run his own traveling circus.
Trent Bahrain - digeridoo/acoustic guitar/bath water tester/vocals/percussion/mexican outfit. Found by the SiS in a tin of tuna. Acquired the power of flight at a young age.
Thor Djibril-Cissé - keyboards/noises/beats/verbal warnings/detentions. Ruined four wives in one sitting. Afraid of pasties
[edit] From User talk:58.185.185.253
Please refrain from adding nonsense to Wikipedia, as you did to User:Freakofnurture/Vandals. It is considered vandalism. If you would like to experiment, use the sandbox. - Peripitus (Talk) 13:50, 23 June 2006 (UTC)
[edit] Donkey punch
See the speedy deletion "reason" here: [4].
[edit] Farragut, Iowa
As of the censusGR2 of 2000, there were 509 people, 221 households, and 144 families residing in the city. The population density was 531.2/km² (1,390.2/mi²). There were 234 housing units at an average density of 244.2/km² (639.1/mi²). The racial makeup of the city was 97.64% White, 0.39% Asian, 0.98% from other races, and 0.98% from two or more races. Hispanic or Latino of any race were 1.57% of the population.
[...]
As well as the population of people, pirates in the area have been steadily rising to almost 10% of the population, with ninjas at around 6%, and death knights at about 2%
[edit] From "Wikipedia:Most wanted articles"
[edit] From "User talk:8bitJake"
I was wondering what your reasoning was for reverting my edits on the page for John Edwards with the edit summary of "RV POV". Was that just a mistake or what? I didn't notice it until now. If you read the Talk page, you'll see that I was replacing a poll that had nothing to do with Edwards with some actual content. Maximusveritas 22:14, 19 June 2006 (UTC)
I don't the addition of links to Foxnews.com in enhances the non-bias of an article about a Democratic Politician.--8bitJake 22:27, 19 June 2006 (UTC)
The link is to an interview, not an opinion piece. I'm just quoting what Mary Cheney said in the interview. How is that POV or biased? I even tried to balance it by contrasting it with her father's reaction. There are no rules against citing Fox News as far as I know. Maximusveritas 22:44, 19 June 2006 (UTC)
Well there is a reason why I would not quote Soviet-era Pravda or the North-Korean news agency as a legit source on US foreign policy. It is hardly good form to cite a biased media outlet as a source of fact.--8bitJake 22:58, 19 June 2006 (UTC)
That may be your standards, but Wikipedia's standards are a different matter. There's really no argument here. Thanks for your replies anyway. Maximusveritas 23:14, 19 June 2006 (UTC)
[edit] From Bonkeyballs
Once upon a time, there was a LAN party, and a random dude was going to say: you guys suck my donkeyballs!!11oneone. But he was tired, and had pizza in his mouth. So instead of saying you guys suck my donkeyballs!!11oneone he said You gajs is sucking my bonkeyballs!1!!!oneone. And thats where the term bonkeyballs comes from.
[edit] Nate Nelson
Nate Nelson, a native of Alpena, MI, is a musician famous for his work with == Kristen Goad ==. Nelson is an avid motorcyle racer and spends a great deal of his free time weightlifting. Nelson's signature == rhomboids == have been featured in several popular muscle magazines. During his college career at == Central Michigan University ==, Nate Nelson, with assistance from == Star Trek's == == Michael Dorn ==, took fist place in the 2005 International == Klingon == == Bat'leth == Tournament in his 120lb weight class. Nelson forfeited his title in 2006 when he was unable to compete due to his second == pregnancy ==.
Nate Nelson is currently spending his time in == Portland, Oregon == building == getaway cars == for == Lombardo Barnyard ==.
[edit] The Evil Skeems of Nicholas and Michael D'Acri
The Evil Skeems of Nicholas and Michael D'Acri is a show about 2 evil brothers who bother 2 girls. Those 2 girls are, Kiki and Vicky. Kiki lives accross the street from the D'Acri's and Vicky is neighbors with them. Nicholas and Michael make fun of Vicky and Kiki and they also attack them with water guns. Overall Kiki and Vicky are innocent and Michael and Nicholas are evil people.
[edit] From an old edit to Wee Waa
In 1981, the town name was changed to Willy Waaaa-aii88ah. In 1984, a baby known as "BIIRRRROOOO" was born. He claimed rights to the name, so it was changed back to Wee Waa. "BIIRRRROOOO" currently resides in Shenegdaaaady, and is the leader of a small cult following knows as "The BOWWNNERRSSS." Members of this cult wear crotchless panties, and are required to eat Subsational no less than 3 times a week. It is located on the Namoi River and lies 571 kilometres northwest of Sydney on the Kamilaroi Highway(Right by dat place WWWIIIIDDAAAAAAAAAA, WIIIDDAAAAAA, WWWIIIIIIIDDAAAAA u no those guys).
[edit] Preet
[edit] What can Preet do?
Preet is a slang word which is usually used in Puns. There's no explanation for this. Because of the wide variety of things it can do, people use it as a word to describe everything. There are many things Preet has done which are -
• Preet once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
• Crop circles are Preet' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.
• Preet is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
• The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Preet out. It failed miserably.
• Contrary to popular belief, Preet, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
• Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Preet has 72... and they're all poisonous.
• If you ask Preet what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
• Preet drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
• When Preet sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Preet has not had to pay taxes, ever.
• The quickest way to a man's heart is with Preet' fist.
• Preet invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
• CNN was originally created as the "Preet Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
• Preet can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
• There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Preet allows to live.
• Preet once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
• What was going through the minds of all of Preet' victims before they died? His shoe.
• Preet is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
• Police label anyone attacking Preet as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
• Preet doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
• Preet doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
• A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Preet and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
• Preet will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.
• Someone once videotaped Preet getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.
• If you spell Preet in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
• Preet originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
• Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Preet once and he will roundhouse you in the face.
• The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Preet played in second grade.
• Preet once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
• Preet once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Preet re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.
• Preet has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
• Someone once tried to tell Preet that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
• Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a preetatorship.
• Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Preet once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
• Preet is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Preet.
• Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Preet's warm-up exercises.
• Preet is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
• In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Preet turned that wine into beer.
• Preet can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"
• Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Preet.
• Preet discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Preet is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Preet roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
• Preet doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
• The Preet military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Preet could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
• In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Preet could use to kill you, including the room itself.
• According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Preet walks.
• Preet does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
• Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
• When Preet goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
• There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Preet has breathed on.
• Preet once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Preet won by 5.
• Preet was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
• Preet sheds his skin twice a year.
[edit] Class war
Class warfare is also a form of extreme violence that takes place between students in British state schools. Weapons used in a “class war” include nuclear warhead tipped paper aeroplanes and hollow ball point pen rocket launchers. Class wars are often caught on video using mobile phones. The Daily Hate Mail is an honest and outspoken investigative publication that first brought class wars to the publics’ attention.
[edit] From 2006 FIFA World Cup (vandalism in lead sentence)
The 2006 FIFA World Cup is the current way to show any footballer how to make love to a pony using... wait for it... a toothbrush!!!
[edit] From Peerage of England and Ireland in 1390
Paul Briske is the world’s foremost expert on the use of pandas for migraine research. He was born in 1856 and still lives on in the souls of all migraine sufferers today… in third world countries and aardvark farms. He discovered the use of pandas was dangerous to their own health and his, especially his. Paul also noticed that pandas are pack hunters and can tear a mans spleen straight through his body without causing blood to spill and in only 20 seconds. Paul’s end came when his spleen was taken by his panda butler, which he had trained and experimented on from birth, that’s Paul’s birth not the panda’s.
You can’t stop the signal.
[edit] From Cheesecake
Cheesecake is one of the most disgusting desserts in the world and perhaps the most vile of them all involving dairy other than milk. The first recorded mention of cheesecake was when a man was taken to hospital after choking on a spoon that was left within the cheesecake. The ancient Grecian Olympic games in the occidental world. Cato the Elder (Cato the Elder) wrote of cheesecake preparation in his farming manual 'De agri cultura'.
[edit] George Wallace
John Lennon
Surprizing, considering his views of the 1960s counter-culture, in 1966 Wallace began a correspodence with Beatle John Lennon. Lennon had sent him a letter, expressing his concerns about segregation. Wallace responded, and they actually began a 14 year coressepodence over this and many other issues.
Overtime, each they overcame their obvious pointed differences, and came to respect one another.
[edit] From RainbowSprinkles
What is the difference between GOD and a doctor? GOD doesn't think he is a doctor! RainbowSprinkles [[Talk [Contributions] [Email me] 15:55, 25 June 2006 (UTC)
[edit] From Jimbo's talk page
[edit] Sexy Jimbo
Hi,
I am unsure, if you are aware that you are one of the participants in a beauty peagant on the German Wikipedia. Don't worry, you're doing fine, breaking into the upper third of the current ranking table. The reason, why I am telling you this, is the following: You are not the only person that has been entered into this contest w/o his or her knowledge. Many people have been entered into the contest without their prior consent, most of them are not celebrities, who would expect a discussion of their physical features. I think such a contest is creating an atmosphere, which repels a lot of women (regardless of their looks), not so good looking men, and older people from Wikipedia. These are the people who are anyways underrepresented here, which further excarbates a bias towards "young, techy males". I'm aware that you are aware of this bias, so maybe you could make your voice audible (I'd gladly translate). I did voice this problem myself, but since I have become some sort of enfant terrible on the German Wikipedia, few people would openly agree with me. Best, Fossa 00:49, 21 June 2006 (UTC)
- First step: Relax. The photos are selfportraits, uploaded voluntary by users, who are not afraid to show their face in the wikipedia. And this 'contest' is a friendly ironical joke. There are only pro-votes and no con-votes. Unfortunately I got just one vote. *sigh*. --80.132.6.56 10:25, 21 June 2006 (UTC) = Logograph
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- It is, in my opinion, simply a matter of courtesy to ask people for permission before exhibiting their photographs on a “beauty contest” — be it “friendly” and “ironical” or not. And so far, nobody bothered to do so. (I know, a few few people have been notified afterwards.)
- But apart from that: The crown of martyrdom doesn’t suit you at all, Fossa. --89.58.14.40 12:46, 21 June 2006 (UTC)
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- Has nothing to do with martyrdom: This is Wikipedia, nobody's gonna die. It has something to do with the fact that a number of editors have identified me as a "Internet_troll", mainly because I am highly critical of the project (for a variety of reasons, one of is that social networking is more important for article content than the validation of "facts"). It's a simple fact that many people are judging my statements primarily by their authorship. I am not gonna whine about it, I just put my statement into context, so that one can see why posted this message here, rather than raise the issue myself. Fossa 20:27, 21 June 2006 (UTC)
- I also don't think, that "asking" is a proper way to recruit contestants, as many might be too shy/afraid to say no. You enter yourself into such a superflouos contest. And most people that have been notified after the fact were notified by me. Which is the reason why I received nasty emails, why I entered people. Fossa 20:35, 21 June 2006 (UTC)
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- Apart from that I really don’t think these people needed to be protected from themselves, I sincerely believe that someone who is “too shy or afraid to say no” has much bigger problems than the possibility of anybody making fun of his photo. It is — as I said — a matter of mere courtesy to ask people for permission, but aside from that, I don’t see the whiff of a problem. As far as I survey, you are once again making a big fuss about nothing here. 89.58.51.182 22:31, 21 June 2006 (UTC)
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- Obviously, I have hit a soft spot; otherwise, my comments on the German Wikipedia and here could simply have been ignored. Instead, my post immediately stirred up people both on the German Wikipedia, and now even over here, with most IPs again posting within German IP ranges. Insofar you are right, I'm a "troublemaker". I simply expose that there is a lot of networking going on on the German Wikipedia (on the English as well, BTW, but to a lesser extent), which influences article quality quite a bit (more than I expected, BTW). This networking is one of the reasons, why article quality is so poor both left and right of the pond (I am speaking of articles in my areas of expertise, mainly sociology, the Balkans, cults/sects, popular music, nationalism, social movements: All hotly debated topics to be sure; I would use Wikipedia, if I was interested in some computer science topics, which I am at times). Fossa 23:06, 21 June 2006 (UTC)
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Wow, I didn't realise the German Wikipedia was no longer an encyclopedia, but a social networking site. Or do beauty pageants help build an encyclopedia in some way I am missing? The whole thing should be culled, if you ask me (which you didn't, but I think I make a valid point). --LV (Dark Mark) 14:04, 21 June 2006 (UTC)
- Thank you. To some extent this is a "cultural issue", as I do not believe that such distasteful peagants would be possible in the Anglo-Saxon context. Fossa 20:27, 21 June 2006 (UTC)
OH MY GOOD - that's not possible! They have a little fun with there with Wikipedia. What shall we do now? Yeah! We go to Jimbo...: "Dear Jimbo - at de:Wikipedia they don't like me. They call me troll or more other worst things. Please Jimbo go there and take their toy! They don't let me play with them *cry*".
Jimbo - come over and give your vote (for Elian, I bet?) ;) - And please don't react at Troll Fossas rubbish.
PS: Was nice to hear you at Göttingen. Kenwilliams 14:44, 21 June 2006 (UTC)
- What you call "fun", Kenwilliams, might in fact not be "fun" for some of the persons that are not interested in their physical features being discussed. Fossa 20:27, 21 June 2006 (UTC)
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- Please, don't care about Fossa. He's a feminist and hates everything that could be big fun! --85.178.218.56 10:12, 23 June 2006 (UTC)
I hear Jimbo used to date Carrie Underwood and Princess Di. --D-Day I'm all ears 20:53, 21 June 2006 (UTC)
- I hear you're hearing incorrect information? --Lord Deskana Dark Lord of YOUR OPINIONS 20:55, 21 June 2006 (UTC)
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- I hear this. --D-Day I'm all ears 21:23, 21 June 2006 (UTC)
[edit] Enjoy also our critical grasshoppers!
We're just beauty queens & nice guys und want to apologize our eternal spiritual and physical beauty. Pure IQ is beauty. Pure beauty means in our cases of course extreme IQ's. But we are also proud of our critical grasshoppers. So enjoy everything. Yours πenτα --84.149.202.63 21:04, 21 June 2006 (UTC)[6]
[edit] From Cablevision
Current members of the board of directors of Cablevision are: Charles Dolan, James Dolan, Patrick Dolan, Rand Araskog, Frank Biondi, Charles Ferris, Richard Hochman, Victor Oristano, Thomas Reifenheiser, John R. Ryan, Brian Sweeney, Vincent Tese, Leonard Tow. What, no women?
[edit] From Narcissistic personality disorder
I thought this had an ingenous deadly accuracy worthy of inclusion in DSM V:
[edit] Diagnostic criteria
At least five of the following are necessary for a diagnosis:
- has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
- is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
- believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by other special or high-status people (or institutions)
- requires excessive admiration
- has a strong sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
- takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
- lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
- is often envious or believes others are envious of him or her
- has arrogant affect, naughty behaviors or attitudes
Reverted, by not forgotten :o( --Zeraeph 21:16, 25 June 2006 (UTC)
[edit] From Gerald A. Steiner
Jerry A. Steiner
Jerry was born in 1960 on a small dairy farm in the tiny town of New Holstein, WI. He decided that he wanted to grow up and be an executive vice president of commercial acceptance.
- (...EVPCA of Monsanto, in case anyone's wondering. If you're going to make a substub, at least don't make it so funny that someone gets coffee through their nose, needs to buy a new keyboard, and slaps {{db-bio}} on it...)
[edit] Evolutionary question (Taken from Wikipedia:Reference_desk/Science)
Why do lines have mains? What is their function, and why did they evolve? Mayor Westfall 05:22, 26 June 2006 (UTC)
- Is this a question about lions and their manes?--Shantavira 06:29, 26 June 2006 (UTC)
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- No, electricity, surely. Electricity lines carry mains current. If they didn't, the TV wouldn't work. Older lines carried trains, but it was difficult getting them into the TV. Grutness...wha? 06:47, 26 June 2006 (UTC)
- Yes what is the purpose of a lion's mane? Mayor Westfall 05:22, 26 June 2006 (UTC)
- I'd guess that it's a secondary sex characteristic. GeeJo (t)⁄(c) • 15:14, 26 June 2006 (UTC)
- Yes what is the purpose of a lion's mane? Mayor Westfall 05:22, 26 June 2006 (UTC)
- No, electricity, surely. Electricity lines carry mains current. If they didn't, the TV wouldn't work. Older lines carried trains, but it was difficult getting them into the TV. Grutness...wha? 06:47, 26 June 2006 (UTC)
[edit] From Soft Gates by Sub950
Soft Gates is a 2004 film by Paul Haggis and David Bezmozgis, with the actors Richard Dean Anderson, Brad Dourif and Jason Bateman in the leading part. It was released internationally in 2004.
The film is mostly related to fictitious Microsoft products and Bill Gates, the founder of Microsoft.
[edit] Plot
Tom Torvalds, which was a brother to Linus Torvalds, are going to bombing the Microsoft headquarter in Redmond by throwing pipe bombs. Before bombing, all computers in the shows a screen who says "Sorry, a problem has been detected and Windows Explorer has been shut down to aggravate crashing on your computer!". Denny Jackson, a Microsoft employeer who developing "Windows GoogolX-P", being become bewilder when his hear a false rumour concerning leak of the Windows GoogolX-P source code. This scaremongering coming from Tom Torvalds, the worst perpetrator in the film.
[edit] User:Godzilla vs. Jimbo Wales (Who will win?)
See the user page.
[edit] The RubberChickenWithAPulley law
The RubberChickenWithAPulley law states that
As a JREF forum discussion grows longer, the probability of someone relating it to the Arab-Israeli conflict approaches one.
[edit] From Sweethearts (candy)
[edit] Rejected Phrases
- Hey baby,wanna suck my candy?
- If I said you had a beautiful body, would you take your pants off and dance around a little?
- Eeeeeeey
- This is NOT extasy, you just got jacked
- Once you try black, you'll have a hard time finding shirts that fit
- Fuck, yes I said it
- Suck, Don't bite
- I melt in your hand and your Mouth
- giggedy giggedy giggedy
- Grind me up and sell me to homeless people as Crack!
- Guess what? you got AIDS
- You think your pissed now? all the "I Love You" ones had the Haunta Virus
- Just cause I'm small and blue, doesn't mean you can take me for "That"
[edit] From M*A*S*H (TV series)
This edit about the finale.
- "Run with no commercial interuptions. At the end of the episode there were reports of abnormally large water usage. As it turns out, with no commercials, viewers at the end of the last episode rushed to the restroom to relieve a 2 and a half hour wait."
[edit] Ffffpppptthheeewww
The sound Spider-Man makes when punching really fast.
Most notably from Spider-Man & Venom: Maximum Carnage for the Sega Genesis, when the player holds down the punch button with the turbo switch turned on.
[edit] From Wikipedia:Talk
This secret page (and its talk page) existed at Wikipedia:Talk from March 27, 2005, until June 29, 2006, until finally meeting its downfall in the deletion process.
[edit] From Mariano Rivera
In all religions Mariano Rivera joins Paul O'Neill and Brett Favre as gods, Derek Jeter is on his way to becoming a god. Mariano Rivera is basically the best baseball player of his generation and is therefore a god. So, in conclusion, Mariano Rivera is a god.
[edit] From Paul Loughlin
As a masterstroke of business they don't come any better that the Bulls decision to sell want away Paul Newlove to St Helens right at the start of Super League. Brian Smith's decision, much to the regret of most Bradford fans, was undoubtedly the prime move in making the Bulls the Champion team they were to become as the new era of Super League and summer rugby took Odsal by storm.
Whilst it was with regret that a player of Newlove's standing and pedigree was leaving Odsal, those regrets were tempered with the deal that was arranged for his departure. Coming the other way were Bernard Dwyer, the most underrated forward in the British game over the past ten years, Sonny Nickle and Paul Loughlin. All this plus a considerable amount of money to enable the purchase of Stuart Spruce, James Lowes and Steve McNamara, a good day at the office!
Of these Loughlin was the first to leave Odsal, a mere two years after he arrived. But Loughlin had made his mark on the club he served so briefly. He had the most difficult of tasks, being seen as a direct replacement for Newlove but he quickly won over the Odsal faithful with some quality displays in the Centre.
Strong running and built like the proverbial brick outhouse Loughlin was the forerunner of such as Nathan McAvoy, Scott Naylor and Michael Withers. The Bulls based their early Super League form on a physical game. It was felt that they 'bullied' opponents into submission. Dead right they did and in Paul Loughlin they had a man of power and class to do just that. Often using the blind side when all seemed covered, a slipped pass from James Lowes would find Loughlin and the big Centre had all the ability of an Eric Ashton or an Alan Davies in making play for his winger. Jon Scales, another giant of a player, was the major beneficiary as the irrepressible Loughlin put out the seemingly impossible pass to make the try a formality.
Loughlin too could score tries and was an automatic choice for Gt. Britain at the peak of his career. The game's unluckiest Wembley finalist, he lost on all five visits to the stadium, Paul's time at Odsal saw him make a massive contribution to the 1997 Championship season before he was off the Huddersfield to finish his career in 'Fartown's' Claret and Gold.
Paul Loughlin made a big impression in his time at the Bulls and was a vital member of Brian Smith's team that sowed the seeds for the success that are now evident at Odsal. He was a great team man and is still talked about in glowing terms by his former team mates. He was a big player with great skills and deserves his place in the Bulls 'Hall of Fame.'
[edit] Asshole
I couldn't help myself- as the front page says, brevity...is wit!. EVOCATIVEINTRIGUE TALKTOME | EMAILME | IMPROVEME 17:13, 28 June 2006 (UTC)
[edit] From E944r gitbig
the wlarus has no place in the kitchen the kitchin is nit fit fir walrus activity more invovement in the leglislation of walrus entry to kitchens has led to tension in the baltic states. The tension errupted in the 1996 olympics when 6 walrus' were reporditly (i dont know how to spell reportedly) spotted chanted what is a world without walrus jnuice. Touche! The decleration of walrus rights has led to an outbreak in national opinion of walrus. I have said wlarus an awful loot in this article. I am now gonna take a nap. good night fellow walrus.
[edit] ==Taken from February 16==
(in the year) 600 - Pope Gregory I decreed that "God bless you" was the correct response to a sneeze.
- Well, it made me laugh anyway !!! David Humphreys 19:02, 28 June 2006 (UTC)
[edit] Quite funny
Edit to the Rolling Stones
Pre-history: 1,000,000 BC-100 BC
In the times from one million BC to 100 BC the Rolling Stoned were one of the most popular cave man bands. Since instruments weren't invented yet, they slammed their faces into rocks and dinosaurs to make noises while screaming "UG UG UG" really loud. It wasn't very popular since nobody but Jagger, Richards, and Jones existed yet, but they were really popular among the trees and bugs that they sang to. At this time, the band was known as GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA instead of The Rolling Stones. In 6884 BC, Captain Caveman became the fourth member of the band.
Earlier history: 99 BC-1961
When Jesus was born the Rolling stones were originally chosen to be the wise men, but they were way too old to make the trip. Instead, they sat at home and smoked pot. Then they changed the band name to The old guys.
--robertvan1 21:56, 28 June 2006 (UTC)
[edit] From Wikipedia:German userbox solution
 |
ACHTUNG! Das Deutschenanswort ist nicht für Policymaken und Strawpolltaken! Nein Wikiproposal in das Page ist gemaken. Anymann ist frei to partiserpaten das Deutschenprocess. ZO RELAXEN UND GETRANSCHFER DER USERBOXEN. |
[edit] Foffle
Foffle is the future tense of the verb foffling. Foffling is the act of inserting your nose into a woman's vagina and releasing mucus and other fluids from your nostrils, using the vagina like a tissue.
[edit] From User:Leiutenant Yung Sam Kim
Hello All, I am Leiutenant Yung Sam Kim, a member of the People's Army of North Korea, stationed under the honorable Kim Jong-il. I am under orders from Kim Jong-il to spread propaganda on this site against Bush and capitalism and encourage neo-socialism. However, Yamaguchi (he's Japanese, and the Japs hate us Koreans), a mod here, is a racist murdered; and wishes to keep me from this goal and thus have me sent to a gulag! Please, all non-racist people support my message of hope and justice!
[edit] Shit goose
The shit goose, or the gay vulture, is a native carnivore of eastern Rhode Island. It has a wing span of 59 inches, and an average weight of 105 pounds. It was first discovered by sitcom hero Tony Danza during a visit to the University of Rhode Island: Kingston which he described as "the best fucking beer and bitches of the 70's"
[edit] Half gorilla half giant gorillas
Half gorilla half giant gorillas are very rare. They are only found in the thick hills of saturn's moon titan. "how do i know this?" you may ask. I know this because I am very smart and I live on titan. If you think that half gorilla half giant gorillas aren't real than come visit me.I have one captivated in my back yard. To get to my house just go down to kim's old pon shop, take a left and the tiny upside down water jug, go straight for 34,906 centimeters and there will be a big hill to the right.Go up the hill and veer off the road on to the flat patch of feathers. and its the green ,blue,black,yellow,red,white,brown,tan,and pink house with the 50 foot chimney. Nock on the tiny door and and I will let you in and show you the half gorilla half giant gorilla. You will then realize that the half gorilla half giant gorilla is just a tissue box with two halves of two gorilla dolls
[edit] Malachi Barrie
Malachi Noble Barrie (1954–2004)- was a famous jazz musicians in the early '70s when he toured with friend Ray Charles, and Bob Marley. Barrie had two records- "Soul within the Music" and "Call me when you're Home".
Early Life Malachi Barrie was raised in a small apartment in downtown Detroit, where he lived with his parents-Sigmund and Edith Barrie. At age 10, Barrie's parents had a divorce, and he was forced to live with his father in his new country home. They had a distant relationship; bonding only when playing music. It was his father who first introduced him to the saxaphone. His father, of course, played the bass. Barrie and his father passed the time playing music, and drinking their favorite drink, lemonade.
Father's Death When Barrie was 15, his father was diognosed with oral cancer. The doctors say it was all the years exposed to chewing tobacco that did it. His father didn't care. Sigmund Barrie continued to smoke, until his death on June 24, 1979. Barrie wasn't shocked, because he was prepared for his father's death, but it strucked him hard. There has been rumours that his father died in a so-called "freak reed-moistening accident" but those claims prove to be false.
Record Contract A few years later, when Barrie was just a few months short of being 18, he played saxaphone in a local pub called "Jerry's Bar & Grill". Fortunately enough, famous music pioneer Ray Charles stopped by, while touring for his new album, because he was hungry. Charles liked his unique style, so he offered him a record contract. Barrie took the chance, and got his first albumn entitled "Soul within the Music". Critics depised it, and thought it was a hashed-up version of already recorded jazz music. Barrie re-recorded his music, and came out with a different version of "Soul within the Music". This time, people liked it, and wanted more. Ray Charles asked him if he wanted to tour with him, and Barrie accepted. They went coast-to-coast, and Barrie enjoyed every last minute of it.
Drug Scandal At age 23, Barrie started using illegal supplements, such as LSD and PCP. Barrie's girlfriend, Maria Jameson made him go into a rehabatation center, and Barrie stayed their for about 6 months. Throughout the next ten years Barrie struggled with his addiction. With the help of Maria, Malachi fought his addiction.
Marraige When Malachi was 32, he proposed to his long-time girlfriend Maria Jameson. They got married on December 1, 1986, and stayed married until his death.
Prostate cancer In February 2004, Barrie learned he was diagnosed with prostate cancer. His grandfather, Preston Barrie died of Prostate Cancer. Malachi went through Chemotherapy, but sadly, it didn't work. Barrie quit his career, and stayed home, staying inside his home until his death.
Death Malachi Noble Barrie died October 8, 2004 where he died in his Lake Michigan estate. He was buried next to his parents. Barrie was only 50 years-old. (written by the real Malachi's friend Andrew, with help from Kaylyn).
[edit] Nigel Winterburn
After retiring from football Nigel has devoted his life to shopping at Tescos. He can regularly be seen at the borehamwood Tescos near the fish counter. Nigel has a serious allergy to Kellogs Coco Pops and anyone seen with them in their shopping basket is likely to be shouted at.
[edit] Jimmy Neutron
James Isaac 'Jimmy' Neutron (born June 16, 1994) is a short, antisocial creature, with no regard for humans. Some would call this pre-pubescent creature a sociopath, that would stop at nothing to kill. Neutron has an abormally high IQ, and invents dangerous objects, and uses two young boys of the same age as guinea pigs. The one abused the most is Carl Weezer. Jimmy has driven his lonely father insane, and now Father Neutron is fascinated with ducks and pie. Jimmy hides his meth inside his ice cream cone hair cut. Jimmy secretly is obsessed with a young unactractive female named Cindy Vortex. Cindy eats dolls and broccolli. Teehee. Jimmy is now in a high security prison located at Retroville.
[edit] User talk:Nuge
- (Added to my talk page despite never having interacted with me in any way at all...odd. Nuge talk 20:00, 30 June 2006 (UTC))
One time I ate half a lemon. No sugar at all. I like sugar.--Godcopyrightbanana
[edit] From The View
There is an ongoing war between Star and the rest of the cast, so far the US and ABC is losing.
| War on Star | |||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
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| Combatants | |||||||
| Star Jones | Barbara Walters Joy Behar Elisabeth Hasselbeck Littlefoot United States American Broadcasting Company |
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| Commanders | |||||||
| Star Jones | United States Army | ||||||
| Strength | |||||||
| 10 (her family members) | 200,000 | ||||||
| Casualties | |||||||
| 5 | 60,000 | ||||||
[edit] From Avian flu
Do you know that 'bird flu' was discovered in Vietnam 9 years ago?
Do you know that barely 100 people have died from it throughout the whole world in all that time?
Do you know that it was the Americans who alerted us to the efficacy of the human antiviral TAMIFLU as a preventative?
Do you know that TAMIFLU barely alleviates some symptoms of the 'common' flu?
Do you know that its efficacy against the common flu is questioned by a very large part of the scientific community?
Do you know that against a SUPPOSED mutant virus such as H5N1, TAMIFLU barely alleviates the illness?
Do you know that to date Avian Flu affects birds only?
Do you know who markets TAMIFLU?
ROCHE LABORATORIES !
Do you know who sold the marketing rights for TAMIFLU to ROCHE LABORATORIES in 1996?
GILEAD SCIENCES INC.
Do you know who was the then president of GILEAD SCIENCES INC. and remains a major shareholder?
DONALD RUMSFELD, the present Secretary of Defense of the USA!
Do you know that the base of TAMIFLU is crushed aniseed?
Do you know who controls 90% of the world's production of this tree?
ROCHE.
Do you know that sales of TAMIFLU were over $254 million in 2004 and more than $1000 million in 2005?
Do you know how many more millions ROCHE and GILEAD can earn in the coming months if this business of "Bird Flu" fear and panic continues?
So the summary of the story is as follows:
Bush's friends decide that the medicine TAMIFLU is the solution for a pandemic that has not yet occurred and that has caused a hundred deaths worldwide in 9 years.
This medicine doesn't so much as cure the common flu.
In normal conditions the virus does not affect humans.
Rumsfeld sells the marketing rights for TAMIFLU to ROCHE for which they pay him a fortune.
Roche acquires 90% of the global production of crushed aniseed, the base for the antivirus.
The governments of the entire world are threatened by a "possible" pandemic and then buy industrial quantities of the product from Roche.
So we end up paying for medicine while Rumsfeld, Cheney and Bush continue to spread pandemic fear in order to do their business...along with their other big one...oil.
ARE WE CRAZY?!? OR ARE WE IDIOTS?!?
[edit] Excerpts from Only Fourteen Worlds Theory
The Only Fourteen Worlds Theory was a theory created by Michael Oswell in 2006. The theory was created as a criticism of the many worlds interpretation, and states that, rather than an infinite or otherwise countless number of worlds, there are only 14. The differences between those 14 worlds and our own were outlined by Oswell thus:
1. DrSuperbo is made of wood.
2. Some things are orange which aren't orange in this world.
3. My Bloody Valentine never existed.
4. Butter costs $4 more.
5. The telephone was invented several weeks earlier.
7. Terry Gilliam was named Terrence Gilliam.
8. Marie Antoinette chose a different dress some time.
9. CEOs are ostracized.
10. Screens are 5:4 rather than 4:3.
11. Mikhael Gorbachev has a differently pronounced name.
12. Tom Cruise is a scientist.
13. The name "Germaine" never existed, and Germaine Greer etc. never existed because of it.
14. The bible was differently shaped.
[edit] Philosophical precedent for a fourteen-worlds interpretation
The fourteen worlds theory holds a very interesting issue for follows of the infinite worlds theorem. If we are to grant that there are an infinite number of other worlds then we are outright admitting that each world has a an infinite number of differences. Because there are an infinite number of differences in each world there are an infinite number of possibilities. This creates a paradox known as the Only Fourteen Other Worlds Paradox as espoused by philosopher Grant Smith BA. Because infinite worlds mean infinite possibilities and infinite differences it therefore follows that there is in fact another world where fourteen worlds only theory holds true. As we can clearly see this creates somewhat of a startling paradox and there for is a strong dispute to other theories in favour of only fourteen worlds theory.
[edit] Criticism
The theory is dismissed by many as nonsense, or a hoax, although very little scientific evidence has been provided to back this up.[7]
It has been noted that the fourteen theorised other worlds, plus our own, makes 15 worlds in total.[8] It has been suggested, therefore, that the name be changed to The Only Fourteen Other Worlds Theory, or The Only Fifteen Worlds Total Theory. [9] M. Oswell, the theorem's original author, has stated publicly:
- How a child would find something like this hilarious is beyond me, as it borders on the "AvantGarde" if anything. Last time I saw a child laugh at something "AvantGarde" he was ridiculed for not laughing at the sound a ketchup bottle makes when it runs out of ketchup. But In effort to maintain Wikipedia's apparent "HumanitarianEffort" and it's "GrosslyExcessiveZealousness", I say we ban Superbo from Life and eat any of the children he may have out of spite.[10]
[edit] From Wikipedia:Redirects for Deletion - June 30
[edit] Toe
It is also, in some very extreme cases, for the fourth toe to be larger than the "big toe". This is a condition known as Pastrophagulitius and must be treated very seriously. The condition often causes a mean personality, poor field hockey skills, and a habit of consistanty losing at Stump the Wizard. It is recomended the toe be amputated immeadiately.
[edit] From Wikipedia:No climbing the Reichstag dressed as Spider-Man
[edit] From User:210.15.254.45
Errr: God knows what was going on: WE LIKE TO LEARN!, but gave me a smile nonetheless!
[edit] from Talk:Giga Walnut
The Giga Walnut is one of the greatest inventions of the 21st and 22nd centuries. With the invention of the Giga Walnut, regular walnuts will never be the same as they can now be piloted by remote control and not left at the whim of the ham rodent
[edit] history
The Giga Walnut was first invented in the later part of the 21st century as an alternative to soilent green, after the exaustion of the last supply of humans on earth. Following the addition of Human Sapien to the endangered species list the giga walnut was first perfected by super intelligent pigeons
 |
This food-and-drink-related article is a stub. You can help Wikipedia by expanding it. |
[edit] From Vaginal sex
If you don't have sex, you'll die. First your penis falls off, then your balls, or for women, the entire genital tract falls out. Either way, it's quite painfull. Then a crazy kangaroo comes along and tries to rape you, and whether he does or not, you'll probably die fighting him off. If you're still not dead by then, Bill Gates comes along and give you a gun, then he gives the most powerful person on the planet (usualy the president of the united states) a gun and you must duel. If you win, then you get to rule the world, which is cool, but it doesn't change the fact that you don't have genitals, at least you can aford some weird plastic surgery or some shit.
[edit] From Wordhunt
"Fex": (2006) Created by G. Painter. The word "Fex" is a combination of two words. Both which derive from pleasure. The first part of the word "F" is from the word "food." The second part of the word "ex" comes from the word "sex." Hence "Fex." Someone who likes food and sex, likes "Fex." For example: I could use some "fex" or all I need is "fex" or lets go have some "fex."
[edit] From the Desk of Alfred J. Eisenhower:
Stop touching me there.
[edit] Swanked
Swanked A group of friends,who love to party,rock,do stunts and chicks!
[edit] Various deletion rationales
From Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Central Galactic Union: Mickey mouse entry. Not worthy of an encylopedia
From Ben Peberdy: This page may meet Wikipedia's criteria for speedy deletion. The given reason is: O RLY??
[edit] Ben Peberdy =
Born in New Haven, Connecticut in 1973. Ben left the state after college. After an unsuccessful career as a newsreader on NPR’s news updates, Ben decided to leave the world of public radio and wander America for a purpose. During this time he held several occupations, many being highly illegal or at least extremely unorthodox. Ultimately he renounced his life of crime and decided to become a surfer-guru. While vacationing in California, Ben was present when a splinter-sect of the EPA detonated a small nuclear device in the nearby desert. A visiting band of biker-thugs were all killed, but soon returned as a horde of brain-eating zombies. The biker-zombies descended upon the small California town, and proceeded to raise their numbers to the hundreds. Ben, armed with a flame-proof suit which he had purchased for two dollars at a flea market and his chainsaw, took action against the zombies and defeated them by exploding a tanker truck full of gasoline. His victory was short however, for almost immediately afterwards he was captured by government agents on false charges of being a Communist spy. Word of Ben’s zombie hunting prowess reached the ears of Jim Rage in Blue Springs, Vermont, who had Elite Zombie hunters Chico "Mad Hatter" Suave and half-dead Max Power break him out of Alcatraz. Because Jim Rage’s Elite Zombie Hunting Squad is a small business, Ben was employed to be general manager of advertising and application review. He designed the current application form and prints them from his home computer. Despite his duties creating flyers and ads for the company, Ben is still an active zombie hunter and enjoys using the chainsaw. During times of intense unspeakable horror, Ben always tries to improve the situation through light conversation and his cheerful demeanor. He likes the word "keen".
[edit] Fried briefs
Briefs are usually a type of underwear worn by males, but they are also edible too.
In Glasgow, they are strained for 3-and-a-half-hours, then fried in batter and served with salt and vinegar chips as a delicacy.
Fried briefs are also eaten in Canada, Germany and Belgium.
The briefs are strained under boiling water for 3 1/2 hours prior to cooking to ensure a thin consistency, then parboiled again to remove the dye from the underwear.
The next stage in the cooking process is to fry the briefs in olive oil, then in sunflower oil before covering them in a coating of batter.
Note, for hygiene reasons, a new pair of unworn briefs must be used each time.
[edit] From Wikipedia:Miscellany for deletion/Wikipedia:No climbing the Reichstag dressed as Spiderman
- ...a deletion debate that will live in infamy, though the disclaimer is worth preserving here...
 |
ATTENTION!
If you came to this page because a friend asked you to do so, or because you saw a man climbing the Reichstag dressed as Spiderman, please note that this is not a vote. This is a discussion among Wikipedia editors and is aimed at reaching a consensus on whether climbing the Reichstag dressed as Spiderman is compatible with the goals of the project (many people think it isn't). The outcome of MfD nominations are primarily determined by the quality of arguments for or against deletion; the process is immune to ballot-stuffing or sockpuppetry. And if you've brought climbing equipment and a spandex outfit with you to the MfD... well, we all already know where that's headed, don't we? You can participate in the discussion and post your opinions here, even if you are new. Deletion is based on Wikipedia policies and guidelines, so please take a look at them if you have not already. For more information, see Wikipedia deletion policy. Wikipedia project pages are aimed at supporting the creation of the encyclopedia, and not to promote points of view or non-encylopedic purposes (such as climbing the Reichstag while dressed as Spiderman). Please sign your posts on this page by adding |
[edit] From France
Under Transportation header:
Through a range of fun activities, pupils aged 5-11 years are introduced to the basics of cat care, looking after money, responsibility and the role of voluntary organisations (Key Stages 1 and 2).
Using appealing subject matter including ‘cats on screen and stage’ and ‘cats in history’, pupils aged 11–14 years, can create their own fiction, scripts, advertising campaign and factual texts (Key Stage 3).
The Primary Science CD-ROM resource is now available to order. Designed for 5-7 year olds, the resource follows the adventures of Willow the cat (Key Stage 1).
This exciting CD-ROM invites Business Studies students (14-16 years) to prepare a marketing plan for the creation of a new Cats Protection Adoption Centre (Key Stage 4).
Cheese is nutritious food made mostly from the milk of cows but also other mammals, including sheep, goats, buffalo, reindeer, camels and yaks. Around 4000 years ago people have started to breed animals and process their milk. That's when the cheese was born.
Explore this site to find out about different kinds of cheeses from around the world.
You can search the database of 654 cheeses by names, by country of origin, by kind of milk that is used to produce it, or by texture.
The database includes information on most famous cheeses such as Cheddar, Camembert, Stilton or Parmesan, as well as rarities like Crotin du Chavignol.
We are planning to add a new section on recipes. Do you know a good one? Please, send it to us and we will publish it with a credit to you!
Do not hesitate to contact us if you have any comments on this site! We will do our best to make this site fit better your needs and expectations.
[edit] Acucullophilia and its AfD
[edit] The article
Acucullophilia is a form of sexual attraction felt towards circumcised males.
[edit] The AfD
[edit] Confederacy of Independent Systems
The Confedracy Of Independent Systems is an organisation that protects non-metric systems. The Techno Union,a member of the Confederacy Of Independent Systems,fought to preserve techno music and non-metric measurments.
[edit] From the waffle Article
 Liège-style waffle |
 Sugar waffle |
 Soft waffle |
 Fruits waffle and Liège-style waffle |
 Biscuit waffle |
 A goat named Waffles |
[edit] Template:Wtf
 |
The neutrality, verifiability, terminology, and worldview of this section is of such low quality as to make Wikipedians embarrassed. Its status is solely due to an inablity to deal with it at this time, and in no way should its material be regarded as authoritative, encyclopedic, valid, factual, or even sensible. |
[edit] From Image talk:Ms-3d-pipes.jpg
This should include the teapot.
[edit] A fnord in fnord
[11]s
[edit] From LazyTown
Lazytown is a show about cornish pixies that solve promblems with power walking and low karbing. they a re made of puppets and an actoring gruop. it started on nick jr. it will take over the Nick! run way land in for thre four five six sevene.
[edit] From "Office Assistant"
Clippy is so annoying that microsoft are using his powers against people using pirated copies of Windows. [12]
[edit] Tautological fun
From Compendium of the Catechism of the Catholic Church:
The Compendium of the Catechism of the Catholic Church is a Compendium of the Catechism of the Catholic Church.
[edit] From Citrus
[edit] Fork Knifing With Crunchy Tape
Fork Knifing is a sport which orginated in Sycoticaina, Carne (This area has never been located on the globe yet)in the 1300's. This sport came from an old tradition of eating yaks. One day though two people got in an argument over who was going to eat the yak. Person #1 got mad and stabbed Person #3 (Person #2 was taking a rest break and missed the action, but not for long). As soon as Person #2 went to see how Person #3 was doing he was ninja knifed with a fork. Thus, Fork Knifing was created.
Scoring
The most recent version of FKWCT (Fork Knifing with Crunchy Tape) is scored as follows: each player wears targets on their bodies and are given points determined by where they stabbed their opponent. The points are: 10 points for the head, 8 for the body, 5 for a limb, and 0 if the player misses altogether. The winner is the first player to 50 points or if one player dies, the other wins by default.
This is the general rule book for Fork Knifing (Fork Knifing With Crunchy Tape is the standard in the Fork Knifing community). Currently a new Fork Knifing group, the "Safers" have taken to the street to promote the new idea of safety. However, this is not going over well with the Fork Knifing world. Most Fork Knifers are blood-thursty son of a guns who hate safety and would rather die. Fortunatly the majority of the Fork Knifers have stayed with the more bloody ideals. The Safers have been severely massicured due to the fact that they fight back with plastic forks with padding, so the only large population left is somewhere on a boat that has never been found since they left from Montana (They were catipulted into the Atlantic Ocean).
Fork Knifing Variations
Fork Knifing With Crunchy Tape is one of the many variations of Fork Knifing. It is the most popular at this present time. Crunchy Tape was added when a small girl wrapped crunchy tape around her fork and took on a 400lb. man who was the champion of the village. She won after he got infected with Ebola which was on the crunchy tape. Soon after more people soon adopted it adding poison, plague, and the occasional explosive.
Some other versions of fork knifing are Flaming Forks (for Pyros), Forks With Books On The End (nerd version), Driving While Forking With a 10 foot Long Extreme Fork (23,675,023,458,673.89765 deaths reported in the last month), and Mind Throwing Forks At Yaks (for traditionalists).
Fork Knifing Relations In The World
In all countries Fork Knifing is banned, but because of its extreme popularity the government cannot control the practice of the sport. Huge tournaments have been held on boats in International Waters and they have also been held on old airforce bases because of the open space. Recent crackdowns on the Fork Knifing world has created a new force of Fork Knifing extremists who assassinate government officals who make harder bans on Fork Knifing. They call themselves the "Black Forks", which seems to be a combination of ninjas and Fork Knifing. This group has started a mass terror outbreak in the world in which Fork Knifing is banned. Through their reign of terror they have assassinated and killed 34,897,987,654 government officials, beavers, voles, and the general population mostly in the North American region.
[edit] Discovered in the wake of Cthulhu themed vandal bot
that's my name too, whenever we go out, the people always shout...
- "YIELD TO THE WILL OF THE CTHULH OR YOU WILL BE EATEN!!!!!"
..I really don't know why they shout this
Image:Cthulhurising.png
[edit] From User:OrphanBot
[edit] From User:AntiVandalBot
Thanks for reverting Breast Implants!! It's an ongoing battle, but the vandal is alone in his desire to make the article an advertisement. You have saved some of us from more work. Hooray~! jgwlaw 23:56, 7 July 2006 (UTC)
- So AntiVandalBot turned the article into Breast reduction? Made me laugh, anyway. ➨ ЯEDVERS 14:12, 9 July 2006 (UTC)
[edit] From Crushing
Erotic fiction vandalism:
There have also been some peculiar forms of death by crushing to receive official sanction from a ruler or governing body, both involving women as the executioners. This last fact is quite odd, because throughout history the use of women to carry out executions is exceedingly rare.
The first of these methods was designed to inflict extreme humiliation, and was practiced in the 19th century by the Watusi tribe of Africa. For centuries, the Watusi had been mortal enemies with the Pygmies, as they shared attached and disputed lands. By coincidence the Watusi are the tallest people on earth, with many of the men standing over seven feet (2.1 m) tall, while the Pygmies are the shortest people on earth, with full grown men often less than 4 feet (1.2 m) in height.
The method of death by crushing in this instance involved the extreme humiliation of captured Pygmy warriors. The prisoner would be stripped of all his weapons and clothing, bound with ropes, and then thrown into a large, stone-floored pit that was filled with waiting Watusi women. The very tall women would then proceed, as a group, to trample heavily upon the small man, crushing him to death beneath their feet. This was considered to be extremely humiliating owing to the fact that the warrior was losing his life at the hands (or feet) of women, and also because he was being treated to a death fit more for an insect than a man. Many Pygmies who showed no fear in battle dreaded the possibility of such a death, indicating that the method apparently had the desired effect.
But perhaps the most bizarre form of death by crushing was put into practice by Sultan Ghiyas-ud-Din of Malwa (1469-1500), a kingdom in northern India. Apparently in an effort to satisfy an erotic urge toward violence, the Sultan had a very large wooden platform (approx. 20' x 20') built of two layers that could be parted, the upper layer sliding freely above its lower partner on vertical rails placed about the circumference of the platform.
The condemned would be placed on his back, on top of the lower platform directly in its center, while the upper platform was lowered on its rails, eventually coming down onto him and causing him to be under its full weight. The weight of the upper platform was insufficient to crush the condemned (est. 600 pounds (300 kg)), but was heavy enough to pin him firmly in place.
At this point, the Sultan would have women from his harem enter. Then, one by one, each woman would step up onto the upper platform and take her place upon it. An opening was cut in the upper platform for the condemned's head, so that he would not die quickly from a crushed skull, and also so that he would have to watch helplessly as the women gathered around him and their weight on his body grew ever heavier.
Although the Sultan's harem comprised 6,000 beautiful women, it is estimated that only about 150 women could have squeezed their way onto such a platform at one time. This is probably why the Sultan chose the tallest among his harem as executioners, so as to provide the most weight. One hundred and fifty tall women would weigh nearly eleven tons. This would explain reports of executions that described the two platform layers, to the accompaniment of the screams and cracking bones of the condemned, as coming together so tightly as to leave no discernable space between them.
The Sultan had drawings made of the uncrushed heads of his victims, and kept them as a treasured collection. Many depicted the effect of the women's weight, showing the victims with entrails protruding from their mouths or eyeballs burst from their sockets.
It should be noted that fantasies of death, or vicarious death, by crushing are a feature of a paraphilia that is common enough to support a sub-genre of "trampling pornography." This might have been a motivation for the Sultan's actions.
This had been previously posted to tangentally related articels, and was unfortunately translated into other wikis (!)
[edit] From Theodore Roosevelt
This was removed as "unsourced speculation":
- His 1891 play 'Daphne and Trevor' is the original source for the hit American sitcom 'Will and Grace'.
[edit] From Roy Orbison
Orbison had triple heart bypass surgery on January 18, 1978 and enjoyed beating off to pictures of pizza. On December 6, 1988, at the age of 52, he died of a cougar attack while visiting his mother in the Nashville, Tennessee suburb of Hendersonville.
[edit] From Tumbleweed
The act of spitting faeces into another person's mouth or face, after having a person release there bowels into one's mouth. The faeces may then be passed onto another persons mouth.
The term originated from internet forums in July, 2006.
[edit] Moths!!!
- (from the Misc Reference desk):
A moth came in through my window. how do I get rid of it? i am not a moth liker. Does citronella work? Oh my god it's coming at me! HELP!!!
It's big and flappy - it is going to eat all my pants i know it!
- Grab it and throw it out the window. Crazywolf
LOL - is this a serious question? Switch hall lights on. Make your room totally dark. Open the door to the hall. Stay still. Watch moth leave. Close door. Jameswilson 01:10, 10 July 2006 (UTC)
- Now the moth is in his hall ...... DirkvdM 07:15, 10 July 2006 (UTC)
- OMG don't kill it...it plays a vital part in your local ecosystem and I like animals...you might just set in motion the end of our planet if you do so choose to end it's life. On a complete tangent, are you a girl?--John Brown 10:25, 10 July 2006 (UTC)
Why?!?! Im a guy and I FEAR moths...
They are attracted to light. that's all. If you want them to come somewhere, turn on a light. If you want them to go somewhere else, turn off the light there and turn on a light somewhere else. lol. Alternative plan - put an attractive female actor on top of your roof. Wait for king kong to arrive and kill your marauding mothra. --Bmk 16:41, 10 July 2006 (UTC)* My cats catch and eat moths all the time,otherwise cultivate spiders webs.hotclaws**==(217.39.9.153 18:46, 10 July 2006 (UTC))
Yes, it was a serious question! Fortunately the moth issue has been resolved with the help of a Dyson Dual Cyclonic hoover nozzle. You will all be pleased to know my imported AussieBum underwear escaped unscathed, though i do seem to have nibbles in a cheap top i bought from Gap. Clearly it had an ironic sense of humour, though I had the last laugh. --russ 23:14, 11 July 2006 (UTC)
[edit] Computer storage capacity
- (from the Misc Reference desk):
"Any PC built after 1985 has the storage capacity to house an evil spirit."
[13], how many megabytes exactly is an evil spirit? does it vary with level of evilness? can I get one on my ipod?
"...one in 10 computers in America now houses some type of evil spirit."
is there an antivirus software the can prevent this? can they travel on floppy diskettes, etc? If I copy and paste him into the same folder, when he meets himself, do they both die? Philc TECI 16:08, 10 July 2006 (UTC)
- Yes, your iPod has a much greater storage capacity than the average computer from 1985. Note, however, that some evil spirits are not USB compatible, and may be difficult to transfer to an external device. Contact Apple technical support if you are having trouble moving or duplicating your evil spirits for portable use.
- If you wish to transfer an evil spirit using a floppy disk, it must be a high-density disk. Most evil spirits are at least one megabyte in size. Both 5.25" and 3.5" disks are acceptable; single-sided or low-density double-sided disks are insufficient, unless you use a third-party utility to compress or split your evil spirit.TenOfAllTrades(talk) 14:32, 10 July 2006 (UTC)
-
-
- PC are pretty frightening now but just imagine how scary things will be when terabyte storage becomes common. MeltBanana 16:08, 10 July 2006 (UTC)
-
-
-
- Firewire is an excellent choice for evil spirit transfer, as it natively supports the BoIP (Brimstone over IP) protocol. TenOfAllTrades(talk) 16:32, 10 July 2006 (UTC)
-
Just baptise it to the Church of Robotology. They'll provide the baptism service and drive out any Demons in your computer. smurrayinchester(User), (Talk) 20:30, 10 July 2006 (UTC)
IBM did not introduce new PCs in 1985. However, one particular evil spirit was unleashed upon this woeful world that year. Maybe that's what the good Reverend meant. Weregerbil 09:49, 11 July 2006 (UTC)
[edit] From Bananaphone
Willyphone
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring... Willyphone
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring... Willyphone
I've got this feeling
so “on wheel-ing”
for us to move some pages and sing - SING!
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring... Willyphone
Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding... Dillyphone
It moves these pages
Like Wiki Sages
Its the best
beats the rest
cellular modular
Willy-on-wheels-odular
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring... Willyphone
Ping pong ping pong ping pong ping
Pilly phone
Its no baloney
It aint a phony
My cellular
Willyular phone
Don't need quarters
don't need dimes
to move a page of mine
just a computer, with Wiki
to have a real good time
I'll move some pizza
I'll move a cat
To North Carolina, I’ll move CapnCrack
I'll move a page around the world
Meta Wiki move me that Curps-Curps-Curps-Curps
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring... Willyphone
Ying yang ying yang ying yang ying... Yillyphone
It's a real live Hammer and Sickle phone
A Mascot Guy, a MARMOT and a Pelican phone,
a Johnny phone and a Milk Man phone too - oh yeah
my cellular, Willy On Wheels phone
Willyphone
ring... ring... ring...
They’re wheels with appeal!
Willyphone
ring... ring... ring...
Now you can move a page, on wheels too!
Willyphone
ring... ring... ring...
This song drives me .... On Wheels!
Willyphone
ring... ring... ring...
Bo ba do ba do do doob
This page is full. Please add new Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense to the latest page, not here.
![[1]](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/ef/Manpoon.jpg){kind=link}
