X-Play's sketches and segments
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Although X-Play is primarily a video game review show, it has many elements of a sketch comedy show such as Saturday Night Live or MADtv (in fact, during one opening sequence Adam and Morgan were heard to remark that X-Play is "bringing Vaudeville back one lame sketch at a time ... we're still saving up for some trained seals, but once we get the seals, the show's taking off!").
The show's "calling card", therefore, has been a blend of these comedy skits alongside more straightforward video-game-related segments that are peppered throughout the show along with the gaming reviews.
[edit] Segments
[edit] Weird Games
Odd or unusual games, such as Magic Pengel, Cubivore, and Seaman, are featured in this segment.
[edit] Rent It At GameFly.com
When a game receives a "3 out of 5" rating, Adam and Morgan cannot wholeheartedly recommend a purchase of said game. In cases such as this, it would be far better for the viewer to rent the game first and then decide whether it is the right game for him or her.
The people in charge of G4TV saw opportunity in this situation, and so they signed an agreement with the online video game rental store GameFly to sponsor the show. As such, Adam and/or Morgan will specifically mention GameFly.Com by name whenever a game is rental-worthy.
The GameFly.com segments will generally be delivered in a sarcastic and intentionally stilted tone, as one of the hosts wonders aloud if there might be some way to acquire said game without "the usual transaction of monetary funds." The other host will then chime in about "a practice known as renting" and that GameFly would be a good choice for such an endeavor. The original host will then wrap up the segment by telling the viewers at home that they can now "save their money for more important things."
[edit] Picks and Pans
A segment with short summaries of recent X-Play reviews that have aired in the last month, narrated by X-Play segment producer Paul Bonanno. Each game is designated as either a "pick" (worthy of a purchase) or a "pan" (they should be avoided).
[edit] X-Play REplay
Premiering at the end of the August 7th edition of X-Play (Episode No. 6082), this segment is essentially a quick rundown of all of the day's reviews. It also gives Adam and Morgan a chance to briefly explain why each game earned the score that it did.
[edit] X-Play Top 4
This segment rates four games based on certain "unusual" criteria, such as "ninja wannabe" games (like Naruto: Ultimate Ninja and Ninja Turtles) or games based in SoCal (like GTA: SA and The Movies).
[edit] Best Of Awards
Every year, X-Play will dedicate an entire show to the best games released over the preceding twelve months; "Game of the Year" winners have included Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic (2003), Halo 2 (2004), Resident Evil 4 (2005), and The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess (2006).
[edit] Golden Mullet Awards
The polar opposite of X-Play's yearly "Best Of" special, The Golden Mullet Awards are used to showcase the absolute worst video games of the past year. The name is a twisted "homage" to the Aquaman character from the horrible 2003 game Aquaman: Battle for Atlantis, who sported a blonde polygonal mullet hairstyle. To honor this unique look, Adam and Morgan will usually don large mullet wigs during the awards proceedings.
Although Adam and Morgan have declared the later-released Drake of the 99 Dragons to be even worse than Aquaman, they have decided not to rename the Golden Mullets.
[edit] Games For Cheap Bastards
This segment of the program highlights good-to-great games that have recently fallen in price to $20 or less. It appeared that this segment had been discontinued, but in April of 2006 it made a return (sans the EBGames sponsorship).
Various spin-offs of this segment have been produced, including:
- Games for Rich Bastards, where games with signficantly larger price tags ($70 and up) are highlighted. These include Steel Battalion (a mech simulation game notorious for being sold pre-packaged with an immense $200 40-button control panel) and the Japanese version of Rez (an extremely rare hybrid of a rail shooter and rhythm-based game).
- Even Cheaper Games For Even Cheaper Bastards, a tongue-in-cheek look at games for those who are really strapped for cash. These games were mostly outdated freeware or shareware (such as Stickybear Typing or Minesweeper), and would be sponsored by such humorous entities as Stale Noodles and Ramen, Frozen Bean Burritos, Driving Your Girlfriend's Car, and Buying Things With Quarters.
- Games For Robot Bastards, which is really just a look at the history of robots in video games.
- Games For Bastards, which features games that you would only give to your worst enemy (due to their high degree of difficulty, bad camera angles, or just a complete lack of entertainment).
- Games for Pluto, a "salute" to Pluto's demotion to the status of "dwarf planet" by highlighting games that just don't measure up. This segment also featured a controversial joke about the death of Steve Irwin.
- Games for NASA, which parodies the various delays that NASA shuttle missions have experienced in the past, by highlighting games that have suffered through lengthy delays themselves (such as StarCraft: Ghost and Duke Nukem Forever).
[edit] Games Your Momma Wouldn't Like
Games that your mother definitely wouldn't approve of, due to excessive amounts of sex and/or violence.
[edit] Games That Make You Feel Funny
The "funny feeling" in question refers to the graphic sexual nature of the games showcased during this segment; it even features a "warning label" (Warning: the following game has been shown to cause feelings of "funnyness" in adult males), with a handy pictorial guide of Adam's face in various phases of "funnyness".
The Japanese import Sexy Beach 2 is the only game to get the Feel Funny treatment, but X-Play has also used the segment to highlight the role that prostitutes (or, as the show called them, The Ho's) play in video games.
[edit] Games That Make You Pee Your Pants
A segment that highlights some of the scariest moments in gaming (the shark attack in the GameCube remake of Resident Evil being a prime example).
[edit] Games You Should Never Buy
There is no zero score in X-Play's ratings scale ... but if there was, the games highlighted in this segment would definitely be worthy of the honor.
For the crimes of non-existent collision detection, meaningless mini-games, and dangerous levels of boredom, the following games were given the X-Play seal of disapproval as video games you should never ever pay good money for:
- Barbie Horse Adventures: Wild Horse Rescue
- Monster Garage: The Game
- Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing
[edit] Games We Wish Were Buried in New Mexico
A semi-sequel of sorts to Games You Should Never Buy was produced in September of 2005. The title is in reference to the infamous E.T. for the Atari 2600 incident.
[edit] Games We Wish We Could Forget
This segment involves Adam or Morgan talking about a painfully bad game they would rather have no memory of playing at all, such as Dragon Riders: Chronicles of Pern and 50 Cent: Bulletproof.
[edit] Nondenominational Holiday Gift Guide
A parody of the sappy Christmas television specials from years past, where Adam and Morgan would dress in colorful sweaters and act sickeningly sweet towards the viewers watching at home. It would also serve as a chance for the X-Play staff to recommend the best games to buy for the holiday season, regardless of the recipient's creed or religion.
In 2005, the writers decided to "retire" the gift-giving guide tradition in its original format, as the show (now called X-Play's Holidays for the Homeland Special and featuring a laugh track) ended with everyone eating a Christmas goose infected with avian flu.
In 2006, this segment was re-christened the Holiday Buying Guide Spectacular (presented by Pizza Hut), and the TV-special format was abandoned in favor of a more traditional look at the best games to buy for the holiday season. Of course, the writers couldn't resist adding a little humor to the segment, as Adam and Morgan end up being "audited" by two of Santa's elves/lawyers (Mistletoe Reuben and Crumpet Katz) for not displaying enough holiday cheer; the special is "saved" by the Tricycle of Kwanzaa, who initiates a hostile takeover of "Santa's umbrella corporation" and gets the elves laid off.
[edit] Convention Coverage
X-Play has featured several on-site recaps from various fan conventions throughout the country (including Comic-Con, Gen Con, QuakeCon, and FanimeCon). One episode even featured clips from these reports under the umbrella of a fictitious X-Play-inspired convention called X-Con; however, fans attending the event seemed to be more interested in receiving autographs from the interns than from Adam or Morgan.
[edit] X-Play Interviews
Both Adam and Morgan have interviewed several celebrities both in and out of the gaming profession. Note that these are the real people, not impersonations or the X-Play Flappy Jaws.
Famous names that X-Play has been given the chance to interview include Adam West, David Duchovny, John Cleese, Ben Affleck, Angelina Jolie, Carmen Electra, Ben Stiller, Andrew W.K., Rob Van Dam, Paul "Big Show" Wight, Kurt Angle, Quentin Richardson, and Jet Li.
[edit] Uncomfortable Moments in Gaming
A rehash of cringe-worthy moments in video games that have made us all feel a little uncomfortable. These can include topics as diverse as in-game music (the Horror of Song segment included lyrics from the game Rhapsody: A Musical Adventure) and male nudity (Adam's feelings toward the character of Naked Raiden from Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty are made clear here).
[edit] Kill of the Week
A little-used segment from the TechTV era, which featured viewer-submitted gameplay footage of unique and creative ways of rubbing out video game characters. Examples included death by food poisoning (in Tenchu: Wrath of Heaven) and by hand grenade (in Team Fortress Classic).
[edit] MMOs Revisited
Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games (MMORPG) such as Star Wars Galaxies are re-reviewed, factoring in all of the changes and additions that have occurred since their inception.
[edit] Spoiler Theatre
In this segment, Adam and Morgan showcase and spoil the endings of current-generation games that have been on the market for some time. Past games have included:
- Metroid Prime
- Def Jam: Fight For New York
- Halo
- Digital Devil Saga
- Half-Life
- Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic
- Resident Evil 4
- Kingdom Hearts
- All Final Fantasy Games
- God of War
- Okami
- Kingdom Hearts 2
- Shadow of the Colossus
- Dead Rising
There is also an occasional Insignificant Spoiler Theatre, where the ending of largely plotless games - such as Katamari Damacy - are shown, or movie-based games where the storylines are already well-known.
[edit] Great Game Series
A chance for X-Play to highlight some great game series that you cannot afford to overlook. Past games featured during this segment have included Legacy of Kain and Shenmue.
[edit] Gay Games
These segments look at the (often negative) portrayal of homosexuality in video games (such as the Cho Aniki series and God Hand).
[edit] I Have a Dream Cast
A look at which video-game franchises could (and should) be made into major motion pictures (including The Legend of Zelda and God of War).
[edit] Morgan's Peripheral Destruction
A review/demonstration of third-party game controllers and their effectiveness. The segment featured spoken reviews by Morgan, and simultaneous demonstrations of the controllers by Adam and X-Play producer Ryan Vance. Controllers featured in the segment included;
- Belkin's Nostromo PlayStation 2 controller - Very uncomfortable and awkward design earned this controller a failing grade, so Morgan destroyed it with a sledgehammer
- Pelican Accessories Predator Wireless PS2 controller - Wireless connection problems and uncomfortable design sealed this controller's fate, as Morgan took the controller to a gun range and personally fired an M16 at the device herself.
- Nyko's Air-Flo Xbox controller - This controller failed as well due to unresponsive buttons and cheap-feeling design, so Morgan filled it with firecrackers and blew it up.
The entire segment wasn't negative, however, as the Logitech Cordless controller and Nintendo WaveBird received favorable reviews.
[edit] Boss Battles From Hell
Tips and hints on how to defeat some of the most difficult bosses in video game history, from games like Ninja Gaiden and Jet Force Gemini.
[edit] Game Stunts
Another little-used segment from the TechTV days, where the show would encourage viewers to send in clips of weird and/or difficult gaming tricks (like flying the Dodo in Grand Theft Auto III or beating the first level of Sonic for the GameGear in less than 25 seconds).
[edit] X-Play Saves
A segment in which Adam and Morgan give advice on how to improve (in their minds, at least) the world of video games as a whole. This includes ways to resurrect the "Sonic the Hedgehog" franchise, and how to make the launch of the PS3 a success.
[edit] X-Play Insider
What might have been a continuous feature on X-Play, where the entire episode is centered around one game ... However, that one game that was chosen for the debut of this feature was the notoriously underwhelming XIII. The fact that this game pretty much bombed may have negatively affected plans for any future installments.
[edit] Skits and Sketches
[edit] Sensitive Sess with Adam
A parody of daytime talk show dramas, in which Adam Sessler interviews fictitious gamers who are down on their luck, and then proceeds to viciously mock them in an apparent contradiction of the segment's own title. The first Sensitive Sess skit featured Ted, a gamer who lost his thumbs at the 1998 E3 convention. The second Sensitive Sess featured Billy, an obsessed Pokémon fan with no friends, along with the Yu-Gi-Oh Gang bullying Billy.
[edit] Web of Destruction/Vebb of Destruction
The German scientist Morgan von Vebb (actually Morgan in a white lab coat with an accent) tests the physical durability of three game consoles (GameCube, Xbox, PlayStation 2) by putting them through a series of three tests to see which system (if any) would continue to work after receiving such punishment. The tests consisted of:
- Veight of the Vorld (i.e. the "Weight of the World") - A 20-pound weight is dropped on each of the consoles
- Ze Sledge of Death - Miss Vebb strikes each console with a 20-pound sledgehammer
- Ze Demon Drop - Each console is dropped off a 15-foot-high ledge
The PS2 was the first to be eliminated, failing to boot up after Veight of the Vorld. The Xbox was next to go; it was rendered unplayable after the system's entire front face and power switch shattered from Ze Demon Drop. The GameCube was the only console to completely survive, successfully booting up after all three tests.
Afterwards, Morgan seductively proclaims that "Ze losers must be punished", and she proceeds to absolutely decimate the Xbox and PS2 with the sledgehammer.
Immediately following the segment, Morgan and Adam (perhaps sensing that some viewers would question the validity of the segment) revealed that they actually performed these tests twice, as to ensure that the results were not a fluke. On both occasions, the outcome was exactly the same as stated.
It is interesting to note that in a subsequent rebroadcast of this skit, the spelling of the title was retroactively changed from Web of Destruction to Vebb of Destruction. No reason for the change was given, although it can be assumed that the writers were trying to better reflect Morgan's faux-German pronunciation of the letter "W".
[edit] SHOCKED! with Shad Grimgravy
Special X-Play "news correspondent" Shad Grimgravy (Adam Sessler) tackles several shocking issues in the world of video games, including violent games and the use of Flash in corporate marketing promotions. Grimgravy's reports are always given in a high-pitched sing-song sort of voice, with each sentence often punctuated with a strange exclamation such as SHOCKING! or MOTHER!, and he would often use large and fancy-sounding words.
[edit] RPG Radiculopathy
Morgan von Vebb again makes an appearance, this time with Adam as her test subject. Apparently, Adam has been playing so many role-playing games that he now suffers from a rare disorder known as RPG Radiculopathy, where the afflicted person cannot separate events in videogames from the real world.
For example, his first challenge is against a toaster that refuses to work. He initiates a turn-based RPG-style battle with the toaster, and wins after he summons an intern to load bread into the toaster. Next, after trying unsuccessfully to get into a nightclub in real life, Adam initiates a battle with the bouncer; Adam attempts to summon "the power of [his] celebrity" which leads him nowhere, and he ends up being incapacitated. Morgan automatically interjects herself into Adam's battle, and casts a healing spell on him, which proves unsuccessful. She immediately shrugs this off, as the bouncer gladly lets her into the club without confrontation.
The sketch culminates with Adam fighting in real life against a character from his own imagination (Ratty Puppet), who ends up biting Adam's head off.
[edit] April Fool's Day
The X-Play writers will often come up with some outlandish premise during the first week of April to try and fool the viewing audience (and judging by remarks made afterwards on the show's official message boards, a lot of people do indeed fall for these stunts). Some of the pranks have included Eyewitness X-Play (where the show was supposedly re-formatted into a more serious hard-edged news show, taking place at the TechLive desk), Meet the Sess (we were led to believe that Adam had left X-Play to pursue his own talk show, while Morgan hosted a segment of the episode each with Kevin Pereira, Tina Wood, Adam 2.0, and Johnny Xtreme), and Johnny's Xtreme Adventure (Adam and Morgan review a fictitious 2D side scroller starring the recurring X-Play character Johnny Xtreme; they gave the "game" a 3 out of 5, which greatly upset Johnny).
[edit] X-Play: The Musical
On February 5, 2007, X-Play debuted their first all-musical episode, where they would count down the top five video-game soundtracks of all time while telling the story of the (supposed) making of X-Play: The Game.
As the plot unfolds, we are introduced to Billy (a turn-of-the-century newsie, not to be confused with Billy the Pokémon fan) who is telling an ominous man in a trenchcoat about this wonderful show called X-Play. The man (who turns out to be Sat'an himself) decides to tempt the two co-hosts with promises of fame and fortune (and free panda bears) if they would just sign over the rights to making a video game based on the show.
While Adam and Morgan list all sorts of wonderful things that they would like to see in their game (including lesbians on fire and turtles in wheelchairs), a group of workers - reminiscent of the film Metropolis - work feverishly to create the game. However, when production of the title is actually finished, all that they have to show for it is a cursed game (which is only compatible with the Sega Dreamcast) that is "possessed" by a fetus-like demon creature that is convinced that the two are actually his "mommy and daddy".
Disgusted, Adam destroys the Dreamcast with an axe, but the damage has already been done - after playing the game, little Billy takes a turn for the worse and ends up in the hospital (it is implied that playing the game actually gave Billy cancer, but he did show signs of sickness at the beginning of the episode, before even knowing of the game's existence). Losing all hope at the sight of their "number one fan" at death's door, Adam and Morgan proclaim that X-Play too is now dead; however, an uplifting musical number performed by the doctor convinces them that they should go back to doing what they do best - reviewing video games.
The show ends with Adam and Morgan giving X-Play: The Game a 1 out of 5 (and yet this isn't enough to raise Billy's spirits, as he flatlines).
It should be noted that the song On the X-Play Boards (a tribute to the show's official message board community) was billed as being part of the "official" soundtrack to X-Play: The Musical when it was first released in May of 2005; however, it was not an actual part of the X-Play: The Musical episode. The actual soundtrack (as posted on G4's website) is as follows:
- The Best Show On Television
- The Devil Went Down To X-Play
- A Game Is Born
- Gamer's Lament
- One Out Of Five
- Love Me (Reprise)
[edit] Guy or Girl?
During this skit, X-Play will highlight a video game character and ask the viewing audience to guess whether they are supposed to be male or female; the character can be either sexually ambiguous (such as Birdo) or an overly-feminine looking male (pretty much any Final Fantasy character).
In X-Play's 2006 robot-themed episode, a spin-off of this skit was produced, entitled Robot or Human?
[edit] X-Plentions
First appearing in September of 2003, the X-Play X-Plentions skit involved "scientists" Adam and Morgan demonstrating the latest gaming inventions from the fictitious X-Play Labs. These products included;
- The Punch-O-Matic 8000 - For use with fighting games, a large robotic fist which would punch the game's player in real life, depending on the in-game action
- The Cone of Silence - A cardboard cone worn around the neck to prevent distractions from the outside world while gaming
- X-Play Dematurification Goggles - Worn by the game's player, the goggles automatically black out his/her view whenever suggestive material happens in-game
- The Zaptastic Shock Headset - An online game chat headset, which electrocutes the wearer whenever they use foul language
- The Improvinator - A sledgehammer and hatchet combination set, used simply to destroy poor-quality game discs
- X-Pants Portable Comfort Unit - An X-Play-branded adult diaper, worn so that bathroom breaks won't interrupt one's playing time
[edit] Stupid Fun with Soul Calibur
A series of skits where character animations from the game Soul Calibur II are transplanted into the real world. Examples include;
- Morgan going out on a blind date with Cervantes de Leon
- Various shots of the game's characters, with pained expressions on their faces, as flatulence sound effects play in the background.
[edit] Splinter Cell: Co-op Theatre
In this machinima skit, X-Play takes scenarios from the Splinter Cell games and makes humorous dialogue to go with them. The two characters in this skit are "Special Agent Bob" and "Secret Agent Steve". Examples of their antics include curing pornography addictions with a bullet to the crotch and Bob trying to convince Steve to see the movie Bareback Mountain with him.
[edit] X-Play Investigates
X-Play's version of an investigative news program, which delves into such "hard-hitting" issues as the effects of E-rated games on America's youth, just what the "cool" people (such as then-TechLive anchor Chris Leary) are doing these days, the horrors of animal testing for video-game quality control, and why certain intellectual property (like the TV show American Chopper) deserve to have their own video games.
[edit] It Came From Xbox Live
During this skit, vulgar (and often incomprehensible) dialogue recorded from players over Microsoft's online gaming service Xbox Live is played. The dialogue is synched up with exaggerated cartoon versions of what the X-Play writers imagine the actual players would look like; the style of the cartoons is reminiscent of the Terrance and Phillip characters from South Park.
[edit] Gateway Games
A look at seemingly innocent titles (such as the Mario games or Tetris) that can eventually lead to hardcore gaming addiction.
[edit] Bad Camera Angles
A "tribute" to bad camera angles in games, where Adam has trouble maneuvering his way around pre-rendered versions of the X-Play offices and the TechTV men's room because the camera keeps moving around on him.
[edit] Real Life Cheats
Imagining what the real world would be like if cheat codes were not relegated to only video games, Adam tries to manage real-life situations (like meeting women at a bar) with a little "help".
[edit] Maximum Tricycling and Walking Unlimited
A classic skit from X-Play's 2003 review of "Wakeboarding Unleashed", which parodies the rise in extreme sports by showcasing two athletes as they "bust mad tricks on a trike and grab major air with extreme walking", as Van Halen's Unchained plays in the background.
[edit] Morgan Webb's Overly Intense Descriptions
Whenever Morgan is doing a game review and really wants to get her point across, she will start talking really fast after a loud male announcer screams the segment title, while heavy metal music and various "extreme" images play in the background, after which the announcer screams, "Intense!". This was introduced in the review for NCAA Football '07, and was featured in Test Drive: Unlimited.
[edit] Pirate Etiquette wiff Cap'n Johnny Depp
Shown during X-Play's review of Age of Pirates: Caribbean Tales review (Episode No. 6091), this skit features segment producer Tim Jennings doing an impersonation of Captain Jack Sparrow, as he explains the "proper" way to act like a pirate.
[edit] Miller Time with Bode
In this skit during the review of Alpine Skiing, an out-of-shape and inebriated "Bode Miller" takes questions from the audience while chugging beers and generally making a fool of himself.
[edit] Home Swag Network
In a parody of the Home Shopping Network, Morgan hosts the Home Swag Network which highlights the free items (commonly known as swag) that the show has received from various gaming companies and trade shows. The varied swag would be "modeled" by different X-Play characters.
[edit] Boss Battle Appreciation Day
Celebrated on October 30, this segment shines the spotlight on some of the gaming world's most famous boss battles (including King Bowser, Ganon, El Gigante from Resident Evil 4, and the "Puking Turtle Fetus" from Contra: Shattered Soldier).
[edit] Valkyrie Profiles
Debuting during X-Play's review of Valkyrie Profile 2: Silmeria, this skit is a parody of an online dating service, where the female warriors of Norse mythology are simply looking for a little companionship. The skit introduced us to Sigrid (who was really into collecting matching breastplates), Gudrun (who is turned off by burning to death with all the other gods after the battles of Ragnarok), Ursula (who was seeking a same-sex relationship), and Harold (a normal-looking guy who was just looking for someone to kill a family of frost giants who were living in his basement).
