Wikipedia:WikiProject Video games/Peer review

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This page is for computer and video games that need input in order to become at least an example article, or even become a Featured article candidate. It is aimed at half-developed articles that require further expansion, and you believe the community can play a major part not only in editing directly the article, but also giving creative input.

Before adding an article, check whether the peer review is the best place for it. For stubs, the Gaming collaboration of the week is more suitable.

CVG Requests for peer review are listed here to expose articles to closer scrutiny than they might otherwise receive. See Style and How-to Directory for advice on writing great articles. Or look at the discussion of the perfect article and try to reach as close to as many of those ideals as possible. If an article needs extensive work, please list it on Pages needing attention, Requests for expansion or Cleanup. Please list article content disputes on Requests for comment rather than here.

Note: Peer review is the process of review by peers and usually implies a group of authoritative reviewers that are equally familiar and expert in the subject. The process represented by this page is not formal peer review in that sense and articles that under go this process cannot be assumed to have greater authority than any other.

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[edit] Instructions

[edit] How to make a request

  • Anyone can request a video game related peer review here. When posting your request, include a brief description of the kind of comments/contributions you want, and sections of the article you think need to be reviewed. The best way to get lots of reviews is to reply promptly and appreciatively on this page to the comments you do get.
  • Procedure for adding nominations:
  1. Add the parameter peer-review=yes to the {{cvgproj}} template on the article's talk page (not the article itself) to let other editors know that the article is being peer reviewed.
  2. From there, click on the bold link that appears in the new peer review notice. This will open a page to discuss the review of your article.
  3. Place ===[[name of nominated article]]=== at the top.
  4. Below it, write your reason for nominating the article and sign by using four tildes (~~~~).
  5. Place {{Wikipedia:WikiProject Video games/Peer review/name of article}} at the top of the list of nominees on this page.
  6. Finally, if the article is under the scope of WikiProject Massively multiplayer online games, transclude the specific request on WikiProject MMOs Peer Review page.

[edit] How to respond to a request

  • Scan the list of requests below, and if one catches your fancy, follow the link to the article and read it. If you think something's wrong with the article; i.e., it's too long, there's no lead section, poor grammar/spelling, factual errors, etc., post a comment in the appropriate section on this page.
  • If the issue is trivial and/or you have the time and knowledge to fix it, it is advised that you make an effort to resolve the issue. If you do so, please make a note of it on the page to keep others informed about the article's progress.

[edit] How to remove a request

  • To free up the page for active traffic, and to make peer review a more dynamic and valuable process, you are invited to move inactive requests to the current archive link. Inappropriate listings, listings untouched for a month, and articles that have gone on to be listed under Wikipedia:Peer review or as featured article candidates can and should be removed, as well as apparently forgotten requests where the requester has not responded to comments (if you post a request, please do not discourage reviewers by ignoring their efforts). Please see the request removal policy for specifics.
  • After removing the listing from this page, replace peer-review=yes with old-peer-review=yes in the {{cvgproj}} template on the article's talk page.
  • If your request is removed, please feel free to put it back at the top of the list later.

[edit] How to resubmit a request

  • Procedure for requesting a brand new peer review request:
  1. Move the peer review page to Wikipedia:WikiProject Video games/Peer review/example/Archive1
  2. Edit the page Wikipedia:WikiProject Video games/Peer review/example, remove the redirect.
  3. Resubmit the request and make a note where the old request is via a wikilink.

Contents


[edit] Requests

[edit] Trilobyte

This article has come a long way since its introduction. I started the very first draft of it, and plan to keep working on it, as I'm a major fan of the company's past work and I know a good amount of information regarding them. I am looking for information on what could be added, improved, etc. I would like to see this be a featured article someday, but right now, I need to know what areas of information to focus on next. Coolgamer 23:32, 30 March 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Clyde

This is a rather different request, but I found some things to improve the article.

  • Template:Infobox Company would probably be a good idea to add at the top.
  • The company logo needs a fair use rationale. This is a good example.
  • The article could use some citations. See WP:CITE, but basically add references after facts that need a source. If you use an online resource, use Template:cite web.
  • I added a few, but you may want to read about sections for how and when to add them.
  • Summarize every section of the article in the lead. Make sure the lead covers every section, and make sure it is proper length. WP:LEAD is a good place to look.
  • If you want some examples WikiProject Video games Featured articles is a good source. The only Featured company I know is Microsoft, so maybe look there for ideas on what this article is missing (prepare yourself, the article is kind of big).

Have fun, --Clyde (talk) 00:15, 31 March 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Wild Arms (series)

After today's huge re-write, the Wild Arms series page is looking quite a bit better! This is the latest of my "get as many Wild Arms pages up to snuff as I can" project, and I'd appreciate any help you guys can give. Also, I'm aware the image MichikoNaruke.png doesn't have a fair use rationale or possibly even the right copyright tag, but I don't know what to put! Thanks for looking. Nall 04:56, 30 March 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Seiken Densetsu

The main article of the Secret of Mana series (as most people know it), is in great need of help. I want to get it to at least GA. Thoughts? Thanks so much! Judgesurreal777 19:15, 29 March 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Massively multiplayer online role-playing game

This article is now GA and is on it's way to FA status. How can it be improved before the FAC? Greeves (talk • contribs) 23:13, 25 March 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Clyde

I took a very quick look over and found some stuff to keep you busy.

  • You need to specify what the fair use rationale is for in the first image.
  • To reach FA you need at least 1 citation per paragraph. Many are missing one (or several). For example, common features and history (two important sections) contain zero citations.
  • Convert online references to Template:cite web.

If I get a chance I'll look for some more problems.--Clyde (talk) 00:13, 27 March 2007 (UTC)

For your first point, I believe it has a fair use rationale already. Next, I'll get to referencing, but is the first paragraph alright for references though? And the conversion of the references to their proper format should be fairly easy. Thanks for the constructive criticism! Greeves (talk • contribs) 02:22, 27 March 2007 (UTC)

Well look at the image and you'll see what I meant as to your response. As to whether the first paragraph is alright for references, no it's not, since it doesn't have a single one, unless I'm looking at the wrong first paragraph.--Clyde (talk) 04:19, 27 March 2007 (UTC)

I was just wondering if there was a need to reference the first paragraph, I think we're looking at the same one; I'll get to referencing that one as well. For the image, on the image page it says:
“ It is believed that the use of this image, WoW Flying Gnomes.jpg, qualifies as fair use in the article MMORPG because:
  • Blizzard Entertainment has not released any such images into the public domain, and a replacement image could not be created that would adequately provide the same information
  • The image is web-resolution
  • The use of this image neither detracts from the game nor inhibits its salability in any way
  • The image is being used solely for informative purposes, as it serves to illustrate the form in which the game takes place
 ”
I don't know much about copyright stuff on Wikipedia, but does that not qualify as the rationale we need? Sorry to keep bugging you! Greeves (talk • contribs) 16:13, 28 March 2007 (UTC)
My mistake, I've never seen the article in question part as a sub-header and missed it. You can remove the one I put, but I may not be the only person who might miss it in the future. As to the referencing, the lead is usually one of the most heavily referenced areas in an article. To have it empty of citations was....yeah.--Clyde (talk) 00:49, 29 March 2007 (UTC)

[edit] AndyZ Automatic Suggestions

The following suggestions were generated by a semi-automatic javascript program, and might not be applicable for the article in question.

  • Per Wikipedia:Context and Wikipedia:Manual of Style (dates), months and days of the week generally should not be linked. Years, decades, and centuries can be linked if they provide context for the article.[?]
  • There may be an applicable infobox for this article. For example, see Template:Infobox Biography, Template:Infobox School, or Template:Infobox City.[?] (Note that there might not be an applicable infobox; remember that these suggestions are not generated manually)
  • There are a few occurrences of weasel words in this article- please observe WP:AWT. Certain phrases should specify exactly who supports, considers, believes, etc., such a view.
    • apparently
    • might be weasel words, and should be provided with proper citations (if they already do, or are not weasel terms, please strike this comment).[?]
  • Watch for redundancies that make the article too wordy instead of being crisp and concise. (You may wish to try Tony1's redundancy exercises.)
    • While additive terms like “also”, “in addition”, “additionally”, “moreover”, and “furthermore” may sometimes be useful, overusing them when they aren't necessary can instead detract from the brilliancy of the article. This article has 20 additive terms, a bit too much.
    • Vague terms of size often are unnecessary and redundant - “some”, “a variety/number/majority of”, “several”, “a few”, “many”, “any”, and “all”. For example, “All pigs are pink, so we thought of a number of ways to turn them green.”
  • Avoid using contractions like (outside of quotations): couldn't.
  • Please ensure that the article has gone through a thorough copyediting so that it exemplifies some of Wikipedia's best work. See also User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 1a.[?]

You may wish to browse through User:AndyZ/Suggestions for further ideas. Thanks, Greeves (talk • contribs) 16:39, 28 March 2007 (UTC)

[edit] NiGHTS into Dreams...

This game is legendary, and the page is looking pretty good. With all of the recent rumors and hype about a sequel, the page will get a lot more hits in the near future. In order to increase the quality of the page, I think a peer review would be useful. Please inform us what we can do to improve the article. Thanks in advance. NiGHTS into Dreams... 21:36, 26 March 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Krator

Apologies for any cynical tone observed in this review - it's late already, and I haven't reviewed anything today yet.

  • Sensation of flight achieved through 3D graphics, I see. Where are the in-flight images?
  • WP:LS - Lead section is poor. I should make a template of this statement, I've been writing this in almost every peer review I make, and these tend to be the last to be marked done. Don't underestimate the importance of the lead section - many readers only read that part of an article.
  • Is constant use of the awful word NiGHTS, including capitalization, necessary? Consider just Nights, NiD or 'the game'.

When referring to the character it/him/herself, "NiGHTS," capatilization included, is necessary. In other uses, however, Done.

  • Some citation needed tags appear throughout the article - they're right. The article is low on references. Every section should contain at least one per paragraph to make it a true tertiary source article, instead of original research - unless, of course, there's an extensive bibliography at the end.
  • Props on the clear style the story section is written in. Keep it, though move/delete the last paragraph, because it doesn't fit with the rest of the section.

Done

  • Too many characters. Keep it limited to three characters maximum (yes, three). Just keep the top three I'd say, and delete the rest. Quickly name Wizeman the main antagonist in one of the other sections.

Done

  • Merge structure and gameplay, and delete last three paragraphs of gemplay, including scoring (game guide info).

Done

  • The images are not exactly clear. Either just one character, or lots of alphanumeric characters and some pixels.
  • Summarize A-life and merge into gameplay as a short (4-6 sentence) paragraph.

Done

  • Reference the Story Story and Gameplay Story, Gameplay and Christmas Nights - just reference everything. Might be hard to do, but try to dig up some old magazines and check newspaper archives.
  • Use {{cquote}} in Nights' future.

Done

  • Rename Reaction to Reception.

Done

  • Merge cameos, comics, and the last sentence of Reception into 'Nights in Popular Culture' or something like that.

Done

  • The wikilink to Cameo Appearances in Cameos should be done using the see also template.

Done

  • Make Controller a subsection of Gameplay.

Done --User:Krator (t c) 22:13, 26 March 2007 (UTC)

PS: I would appreciate it the appropriate parts of this review could be marked with a {{done}} template, if any edits are made based on it, or made because of it.

[edit] List of F-Zero titles

I've been using the List of Final Fantasy titles as an example, but what is this list missing? FMF|contact 20:49, 25 March 2007 (UTC)

Maybe a couple more notes in the entries with only one (or zero), and a few more refs, but I think you could go to FLC with this. It looks pretty good (but I'm not really a list man).--Clyde (talk) 00:51, 27 March 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Kya: Dark Lineage

As the diff shows, in the last 24 hours I've done a lot of work on the Kya: Dark Lineage article. I'm going to continue to make edits to this as I move along, but I was wondering if I could get some input on the layout or suggestions to improve the article. Sourcing is going to take place when I get home and have access to the game and instruction booklet. Cheers, Lankybugger 20:09, 21 March 2007 (UTC)

[edit] JHMM13

The layout of every article is likely to be different than the next. For some examples, check out the layout of featured articles of other video games. You can get ideas from any of these and use them in your article. Also look at some of the newer FAs in that group and note the amount of referencing and the various kinds of references that are used. You'll need to have a wide range of reference types to bring this article to a superb quality. Also look at the amount of wikilinking that is done in those articles. Use it, but don't go overboard like this. Often your best bet is to just look at how things have been done in other similar articles and try to either mimic it or improve upon it. JHMM13 07:14, 23 March 2007 (UTC)

  • You need a development section -- look at some VG FAs for examples.
  • The reception section can go into more detail.
  • In the lead I read "the titular character Kya", then at the start of the body there's an image with "The titular character, Kya", then the text starts with "Kya: Dark Lineage begins with Kya, the protagonist". If you tell me that the game's protagonist is Kya, I can figure out that she's mentioned in the title.
  • Improve the Captions.
  • The article needs copy editing. Ex: "During each of the nine stages within the game ..." doesn't needs "within the game".
  • Another ex: "Complimenting Kya's mobility is her 'Boomy'" -- You mean complement, and I don't understand how the weapon is a complement to mobility.
  • Add fair use rationale to the images.
  • Flesh out the refs: add publication date, publisher, and author information when available.
Pagrashtak 15:12, 23 March 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Wii Remote

This article has many refrences and I am planning on putting it up on FAC so I'd like a peer review before i take it there. It is indepth, but I would like a review from a non-biased editor. The Placebo Effect 20:41, 19 March 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Krator

This is an uncommon kind of subject in WP:VG, but I'll try my best.

  • This article could use an infobox of some kind. Maybe make one, even. Include the image currently at the top in it, and list information like dimensions, manufacturer, hardware (what kind of sensor?), etc. Done
  • Move the 'pricelist' from the lead section to the infobox (above), and state both the local currency price and the prices in a reserve currency.
  • The images in the article are horrible. Make them have a size at least somewhat viewable (the sensor bar image is particularly guilty here) and better quality. Wiimote nunchuk.jpg is grainy, zapper and the classic controller are too small on the article, while the images themselves are quite large.
  • Split 'design' in two: 'How does it look' and 'How does it work', with different titles. Colour and the current lead paragraph of the section go into the first, power source, sensing, memory, and feedback go into the second. Need to figure out where 'strap' belongs.
  • A schematic drawing (svg!) of how the sensing works would be great in that section.
  • Memory is a stub section. Either expand or merge.
  • Improve the lead paragraph of the expansions section. (How does one expand it, what does one need an expansion for, etc.)
  • A small infobox for all three expansions would be great. Just put the images in there, the prices, the manufacturer, the dimensions, and more. The pricelist in the content text doesn't look nice, and infoboxes make great overviews. Note that these are sections, not articles, so keep the box small.
  • Wii zapper needs expansion.
  • Tennis rackets, baseball bats and golf clubs? Tell me more. Make a section for each of them complete with small infobox, if there's enough information/content to warrant that.
  • Steering wheel needs expansion.
  • More see also - articles about infrared sensors, the wii, list of wii games, and maybe more. Keep see also to about 5 articles. Not much more, not less.
  • There's a 'articles which may contain original research' category on the page. Why? You can remove it, IMHO. Done

--User:Krator (t c) 10:24, 20 March 2007 (UTC)

PS: I would appreciate it the appropriate parts of this review could be marked with a {{done}} template, if any edits are made based on it, or made because of it.

I am working but it won't be fast because of school. The Placebo Effect 13:06, 20 March 2007 (UTC)
  • Product images and an Overstock.com listing indicate that game accessory manufacturer Intec is releasing a third-party Nunchuk controller for the Wii Remote. This is the first third-party expansion to be discovered for the Wii Remote. Surely that should read ...first third-party expansion to be released for the Wii Remote. Sabine's Sunbird talk 19:58, 24 March 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Dynasty Warriors 4

Been improving this article and am looking for it to eventually reach GA status and I need to know where it can be improved. Crimsonfox 17:30, 17 March 2007 (UTC)

As I said on the article talk page, some more sources in the Story and Expansions sections would be great. I nom'd it for GA as well. --PresN 16:55, 21 March 2007 (UTC)
  • The article could use a lot more sourcing, especially the Story portion. 13 References is far too few for an article this size. Likewise, the prose of the article could be tightened. The Gameplay section tends to wander from subject to subject within a paragraph, before returning to the original thought. It might flow better for the Gameplay to roughly follow the flow of the actual game... For example, moving the item equipping to the beginning of the Gameplay section and mentioning traditional gameplay concepts carried over from Dynasty Warriors 3 before introducing new concepts. The characters section could probably be removed, or perhaps rolled into Setting (which should be grouped with other Plot items like Story). Cheers, Lankybugger 00:13, 22 March 2007 (UTC)
Referenced out Wei/Wu story almost completely but I have to work on Shu still. I've also moved the sections so they flow more now, same with the gameplay section: Aim -> Starting officers -> Items -> Story -> Features of these stages etc Crimsonfox 09:40, 23 March 2007 (UTC)
Shu Story completely ref'ed now, a tiny bit to do on Wu and Wei. Read through and sorted out punctuation best I could. Crimsonfox 12:24, 25 March 2007 (UTC)
Expansions referenced. Crimsonfox 18:51, 25 March 2007 (UTC)
  • We've managed to get it to GA now (Hurrah) and obviously wanting to get it to FA-class. Are they any tips that people can give so we can get it up there? And I know it could do with some images, working on them. Thanks. Crimsonfox 18:27, 28 March 2007 (UTC)

[edit] The Sims 2

The last PR was in August '06 and I think the article's content has changed enough to warrant another. We need solid opinions to reference in the face of those who refuse to cease adding game manual material. ALTON .ıl 04:23, 13 March 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Clyde Miller

After a quick look through:

  • There is no development section. Talk about releases, previews, interviews with developers etc.
  • Images need a fair use rationale (Look at some FAs for examples)
  • The reception section needs to be converted into prose covering good and bad aspects, as well as general scores.
  • The reception section has direct links to other websites. Change those to citations.
  • Change citations to Template:cite web.

If I get a chance I'll look at it further.--Clyde (talk) 17:20, 18 March 2007 (UTC)

[edit] The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past

I've done some improvement in the article, including almost 20 references, and now I want to know what else in the article needs work before I put it into the GA, or FA. igordebraga ≠ 22:00, 12 March 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Clyde Miller

Looking pretty good, great content. Here's some stuff (mostly reference related).

  • The lead, while pretty good, has only one reference. Many of the facts in there need a source, so see what you can dig up.
  • On the same idea, neither gameplay nor story has a single citation. The rule of thumb is one citation per paragraph, but do the best you can.
  • "The Light World and the Dark World are almost identical and only the differences were saved, otherwise they would have needed to wait for a 16 Mbit ROM." Needs source.
  • The "see also" section has only one entry in it. I suggest integrating it into the article and removing the "See Also" section all together. They're fine for now, but as you get into higher quality articles, they are frowned upon.
  • The reference section needs to be finished off in cite web.
  • The reception section bothers me a little. It's rather short, and it's just "This game is awesome" "here's why this game is awesome" and "did I mention this game is awesome?" You need to expand, add some composite scores, (MetaCritic, GameRankings, or perhaps Rotten Tomatoes) and add in one paragraph what particular reviewers liked, and in another paragraph add what they didn't like (if there is anything). Some suggestions on what to write about are graphics, gameplay, innovation, controls, story, replay value, etc. See some FA VG articles for ideas on reception.
  • The images need Fair Use Rationales. Again, see FA VG articles for ideas, or I have a page for some ideas if you need help.

I'm kind of brutally honest, so there you go.--Clyde (talk) 00:55, 14 March 2007 (UTC)

This article could definitely use more references from the time period in which this game was released. Most of the current sources are written in the perspective of 2007 instead of 1991. Try to get some offline references from the early 1990's (magazines, etc). --- RockMFR 21:09, 16 March 2007 (UTC)

Additionally, I'd like to add that there is one {{cn}} there under development. I don't think anyone would mind too much if you mentioned in a reference the size of the two maps and some simple maths, provided there is a link somewhere. Even GameFAQs would do on that point. :P —davidh.oz.au 11:21, 19 March 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Kirby's Dream Land

Working on making it a GA. I did enough cleanup to make it A and nominated it for GCOTW (and succeeded). Besides adding some more sources, getting a source for the Kirby Super Star screenshot of its remake, and expanding on the presentation section, anything need to be done? - A Link to the Past (talk) 16:21, 12 March 2007 (UTC)

This article needs some copy editing:
  • Look out for filler phrases: "As the first in the series, Kirby's Dream Land set forth many of the trademark elements featured in later Kirby games, such as the title character's main set of moves." is too long for the content of the sentence.
  • Done.
  • Redundancy: "The only way for Kirby to regain them is to touch certain food items that will refill them." (regain them, refill them)
  • Done.
  • Keep verb forms consistent in a list: "Kirby has four basic abilities in this title - walking, jumping, flight, and inhaling." Should be flying to match the other three.
  • Done.
  • Incorrect pronouns: "At any time when Kirby has inhaled air, he can exhale by either landing on the ground or releasing it yourself." He can exhale by releasing it yourself?
  • Done.
  • Double possession: "Inhaling objects, enemies, and food is the trademark ability of Kirby's."
  • Done.
  • Avoid the second person: "The enemy you will encounter most often is Waddle Dee, the staple enemy of the series."
  • Done.
  • Game guide material: "To inhale anything, the player must hold down the B button." With rare exceptions, never refer to specific buttons. This info is not useful to the general reader.
  • I settled for B button because I couldn't think of a better way to describe the button.
Pagrashtak 23:01, 12 March 2007 (UTC)

Presentation and development looks like they could be combined into one section. Get those claims in "Presentation" cited or removed. No need to have two one-sentence headers (you could compress the reception section into one section without subheaders). Also, was this game re-released as a million-seller? (Based on seeing the million-seller medal on my SML2 box) Hbdragon88 04:36, 17 March 2007 (UTC)

The content of presentation isn't all about development, though. Also, yes, it is a PC title (in fact, a PC boxart used to be in the infobox). - A Link to the Past (talk) 04:49, 17 March 2007 (UTC)
I think it is relevent enough for development; discussing about the art style and music to me sounds like development work. Cool, PC title. That should be mentioned for comprehensiveness. Hbdragon88 04:54, 17 March 2007 (UTC)
Added PC details, including adding a note that it sold 1 million copies in NA (because to be a Game Boy PC, it needs to sell that many). I'll source that tomorrow. - A Link to the Past (talk) 05:10, 17 March 2007 (UTC)
Try moving "reception" into the lead to help establish the article's importance more concretely. (Note that "presentation" flows more easily into "remakes" than "reception".) You could also try merging "remakes" and "sequels" if the sections don't feel long enough. —davidh.oz.au 11:08, 19 March 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Electronic sports

This article needs expansion since electronic sports is getting more media attention at the moment. --Wedderkop 11:25, 10 March 2007 (UTC)

In that case, it shouldn't be hard to add.... references!!! If you're having trouble finding them, I recommend indiscriminately stealing them from other articles. ;) Before you do that, however, you should convert the ones you have to {{cite web}}. —davidh.oz.au 11:45, 19 March 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Fire Emblem

The Fire Emblem article attempts to explain the history and mechanics of the series in a general sense. However, the amount of citation is minimal, and from the perspective of a Fire Emblem player, it's difficult to determine what specifics related to the gameplay need to be better explained. What parts of the article need citation the most, and what information could be better written for the benefit of non-Fire Emblem players?--Hailinel 18:27, 6 March 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Dante (Devil May Cry)

This is a growing franchise with a growing fanbase, and as this is the most linked-to page on the character (according to Google), it should at least be free of the three tags currently at the top. This page has been reworked and reworked again numerous times in the past few months, and the current revision's structure is based on the archived Featured Article version of Link (Legend of Zelda). But those of us involved would appreciate more input from more experienced Wikipedians. Please let us know what still needs to be done so we can at least get past the point of needing the "in-universe", "unreferenced" and "tone" tags. Thank you very much in advance. --Boradis 03:48, 4 March 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Wikipedia:Peer review articles

The following were nominated to standard peer review, but deal with video games, so are also shown here using the magic of templates.

[edit] RuneScape

We want to know how RuneScape can be edited in order to attain FA status. It has already passed a GA nom.--Ed ¿Cómo estás? 21:34, 29 March 2007 (UTC)

The lead section could do with some polishing. The second paragraph, about Gielinor, looks fancrufty. Consider jettisoning the paragraph, moving useful information to the third paragraph (which then becomes the second paragraph). It wouldn't hurt to add another paragraph which summarises the history of the game, reviews it has received and/or its impact on the world/Internet/MMORPG industry. --J.L.W.S. The Special One 08:32, 30 March 2007 (UTC)
We already have those things you mentioned in your last suggestion. There's a paragraph on it's history and development and one on its reception. The reception paragraph covers the impact on the world, internet, and MMORPG industry, although more info could be added on that. I'll see what I can find. Also, I'll make the changes to the lead section right now.--Ed ¿Cómo estás? 13:44, 30 March 2007 (UTC)
When I wrote paragraphs, I meant paragraphs in the lead section. Sorry for not explaining clearly. --J.L.W.S. The Special One 14:20, 30 March 2007 (UTC)
Oh, that's fine. I'll get to it ASAP.--Ed ¿Cómo estás? 14:33, 30 March 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Metroid Prime

I've done most of the work in this article, and some time ago it got the GA status. Now I need to know what's needed in order to reach the FA. igordebraga ≠ 18:20, 27 March 2007 (UTC)

[edit] JimmyBlackwing

Some general suggestions:

  • Footnotes come after punctuation -- done.
  • The article could use a copyedit. Particularly, the use of parentheses needs to be cut back.
  • Having a spoiler warning for the entire article is usually not a good idea. A spoilers tag is basically a "stop reading now" sign. -- done.
  • Full dates are generally internally linked. For example, March 27, 2007 becomes "March 27, 2007". Also, it's better to use the most specific dates possible.
  • The article needs more references. 32 for a subject like Metroid Prime is too few, if your goal is featured status. --added little more
  • Try to avoid repeating information. For example, the article gives me a detailed description the game's beginning in two separate sections: Plot and Locations. -- done.
  • Avoid cruft at all costs. Large amounts of unnecessary information weigh down even the best written articles.

Specific suggestions:

  • In the header, it tells me that Metroid Prime has sold over 250,000 copies. However, in Reception, it tells me that the game is "one of the best-selling games on the GameCube, with about 1.49 million copies sold in the United States alone". Selling 1.49 in one country is better material for the header than "over 250,000 copies have been sold". Remember, the header is meant to be asummary of the article's most important elements. Also, if possible, it would be a good idea to add the number of copies sold worldwide. -- I searched for the worldwide data very much, and I only found it on a website that isn't considered reliable. I don't know if I add the low Japan figures, but I added Australia, and changed the lead.
  • The plot section needs to be rewritten into a more out-of-universe style. -- done, unless you can add another way to reduce in-universe.
  • You should probably convert the "Sequels" section into prose. Bulleted lists are usually a bad idea. - done.
  • I hate to break it to you, but this article has a fair amount of original research. For example: "Most of the items from previous Metroid games make appearances here; however, the functions of many of them have been altered to suit the 3D environment". I recommend carefully scanning the article and getting rid of sentences like these. If possible, rewrite and cite them
  • Many statements in the article require citations, but do not have them. For example: "Although the previous Metroid games' soundtracks were composed by "Hip" Tanaka, Kenji Yamamoto assisted by Kouichi Kyuma composed the music for Metroid Prime." Please locate citations for sentences like this. If you need to get your hands on some magazine references, WikiProject Video games/Magazines could be of help.

Good luck! JimmyBlackwing 20:03, 29 March 2007 (UTC)

[edit] The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion

I've been working on this article sporadically for a while, and I'm looking for some input on what else to do with it. --PresN 05:21, 25 March 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Krator

Big points:

  • Excessive use of quotes (like: "level", "Paradise", 'life', "sandbox", "leveled" and "Blood of a Divine") throughout the whole article. Things that have an unusual name (like level in Oblivion context) without an internal link specific for that meaning should be made italic (e.g.: level system), and those with an internal link should be not within quotes (e.g.: Paradise). Quotes from cited sources should be rephrased, or use {{cquote}}. The reception section is a huge clutter of quotes right now.
Done
  • The Overview section is just a pile of information stitched together. Move the first four paragraphs to a 'development' section just before 'reception', and the last two to the lead section.
  • Section structure of the first few sections is confusing. Separate by world, lore, and story information, and Gameplay information. Move guilds a and playable races to setting, and write something about the gameplay. Check out Final Fantasy VIII, a FA, for a good example (though it names the section Plot, which I wouldn't do).
Split it up into sections, though I wouldn't call it done yet. --PresN 01:47, 27 March 2007 (UTC)
  • Gameplay and Story need images.

Smaller points/nitpicking:

  • Try to cut some information from the infobox. Long infoboxes are not well-read. Make the image smaller as well - consider having only the logo and name as image, and use the full box cover somewhere else.
Done
  • WP:LS. Lead section is poor.
Done, I think. I tried to model it off of Final Fantasy VIII's. --PresN 01:47, 27 March 2007 (UTC)
  • Gameplay of the Elder Scrolls series shouldn't be a main article, but a see also.
Done
  • Guilds section is poorly written and unreferenced.
  • Story is too long. Cut non-essential information, or move to a separate article. A good way to do this might be to move the information to "The Elder Scrolls" articles instead of this one, like Cyrodiil.
  • Translation errors is a fourth-level section header, should be third.
Done
  • Reviews table is too wide. Should be half of the page (on 1024) maximum, and even then the column of text next to it should be made text-align:justify with a div.
I narrowed it, but I'm not sure what you mean by text-align:justify with a div --PresN 01:32, 26 March 2007 (UTC)
Done it myself - see my most recent edit. Non-justified text next to a table is unreadable. --User:Krator (t c) 08:25, 26 March 2007 (UTC)
Ah, now I see what you mean. --PresN 15:26, 26 March 2007 (UTC)
  • Downloadable is an awful neologism, especially in a section header. Consider rephrasing.
Done
  • Reorganise references to the official game guide. Twelve times the same reference is not good, I'm not sure how it should be done, but I do know that someone must have encountered this problem before, so a template might exist.
Done
  • Why are only wiki fansites listed? This is Wikipedia, not a guide to all wikis. List a few fansites (three or so), and leave it at that. If one of these happens to be a wiki, so be it, but don't make exceptions for wikis.
Done
I do not consider this done, really. It still lists these sites only. --User:Krator (t c) 08:25, 26 March 2007 (UTC)
Hashed it up again, only one wiki linked now. --PresN 01:47, 27 March 2007 (UTC)

--User:Krator (t c) 22:44, 25 March 2007 (UTC)

PS: I would appreciate it the appropriate parts of this review could be marked with a {{done}} template, if any edits are made based on it, or made because of it.

Thanks! It has some pretty serious flaws, but they do get hard to see after a while. --PresN 01:25, 26 March 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Sonic the Hedgehog (16-bit)

My favorite game ever. But I think the article could do with a big improvement. Buc 07:17, 21 March 2007 (UTC)

I'd start by writing a "legacy/reception/history" section, explaining just how it was the Genesis/MegaDrive's "Killer App" (as mentioned in the dev section), and all that entails: See Halo: Combat Evolved#Reception as an example. Check out the WP:VG Magazine archive for other editor's resources. Nifboy 11:43, 21 March 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Classes in World of Warcraft

This article is a fair way from GA or FA, however, it's hard for me to see what needs improving about the article as I have edited it so much. We'd really appreciate outside comments on how to improve it :) Veesicle (Talk) (Contribs) 18:47, 15 March 2007 (UTC)

At a glance, try to use sources related to WoW rather than trying to conjure explanations from unrelated sources (e.g. the references to Celtic, EQ2 druids). Not particularly attached to either the infoboxes or pics (There are only so many people in 8/8 Tier X sets). Nifboy 00:05, 16 March 2007 (UTC)
The two sources you named were meant to provide sources for showing similarities World of Warcraft druids have with druids outside the game. If I removed those sources I'd have to remove that section. I only really added it in the first place because someone in the AfD said that they thought it would be nice if something like that would be included for the classes. I can prose-ify the infoboxes if you'd prefer - are you against pictures in general or just ones of characters in full sets or whatever? Veesicle (Talk) (Contribs) 00:13, 16 March 2007 (UTC)
It's because "Druids outside WoW" has only a very tenuous connection to WoW; unless there's a significant link, wherein the link itself is stated in a source, you start drifting into original explanations. Blizzard could have been inspired by Druidism, D&D druids, EQ druids, or any combination of the above. The article is on, ultimately, WoW, so use WoW-related sources. Nifboy 10:04, 25 March 2007 (UTC)

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