Volunteers Fighting Disease

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A Series of Unfortunate Events organization
Image:Volunteer Fighting Disease.jpg
Volunteers Fighting Disease
Gender Male and Female
Age Various
Film portrayers None
First appearance The Hostile Hospital
Motto No news is good news

The Volunteers Fighting Disease is an organization in the eighth book of Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Hostile Hospital. They sing all day long and believe that a good mood, rather than antibiotics or surgery, is the best way to cure disease. The group is famous (or rather infamous) for handing out heart shaped balloons to patients at Heimlich Hospital. Everybody in the group calls each other brother and sister; nobody ever uses names. Their main mode of transportation is a van with "V.F.D." written on the side, leading the Baudelaire orphans to travel with them, erroneously believing that the Volunteers Fighting Disease had something to do with the mysterious organization under the same name.

A Volunteer Fighting Disease is present in The Penultimate Peril, a bearded man with a guitar who becomes friends with a V.F.D. Elder.

Their song is as follows:

We are volunteers fighting disease,

and we're cheerful all day long.

If someone said that we were sad,

that person would be wrong.


We visit people who are sick,

and try to make them smile.

Even if their noses bleed,

or if they cough up bile.


Tra La La, Fiddle Dee Dee,

hope you get well soon.

Ho Ho Ho, Hee Hee Hee,

Have a heartshaped balloon.


We visit people who are ill,

and try to make them laugh.

Even if the doctor says,

He must saw them in half.


We sing and sing all night and day,

and then we sing some more.

We sing to boys with broken bones,

and girls whose throats are sore.


Tra La La, Fiddle Dee Dee,

hope you get well soon.

Ho Ho Ho, Hee Hee Hee,

Have a heartshaped balloon.


We sing to men with measles,

and women with the flu.

And if you breathe in deadly germs,

we'll probably sing to you.


Tra La La, Fiddle Dee Dee,

hope you get well soon.

Ho Ho Ho, Hee Hee Hee,

Have a heartshaped balloon.

Preceded by
Village of Fowl Devotees, namely Hector (The Vile Village)
Guardian of Violet, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire Succeeded by
Madame Lulu (The Carnivorous Carnival)