User:VinceB/How to deal with Hungarians

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While working on Wikipedia sooner or later (too soon in any case) you will meet the unpleasant creatures called "Hungarians". Normal persons should avoid discussion with such individuals at any cost, although sometimes it is impossible. However, you can change that terrible experience into something entertaining by following a few simple rules, collected by me during the last few years on Wikipedia.

• Rule number one: HUNGARIANS ARE WRONG. DO NOT ever assume that they have a different opinion; they are just wrong. Moreover, they know that they are wrong and they are discussing simply because they are a kind of little, irritating creature and because, besides quarrelling in Wikipedia, there is nothing better to do in Hungary.

• Rule number two: Start a conversation by impressing Hungarians with your knowledge about Hungary and Hungarians. Say "Szia!". Don't worry that it does not make sense to you. To Hungarians it will and they will be highly impressed. At the same time you will set up the tone for further dispute.

• Rule number three: Use only simple sentences, since Hungarians don't really understand English (do not forget to tell them about it), like "you are wrong", "I don't have time to educate you" etc. Remember that lobotomy is an integral part of Hungarian culture.

• Rule number four: As soon as you get their attention, accuse them of nationalism and political propagandism. They will actually like it.

• Rule number five: Never ever explain your reverts.

• Rule number six: As soon as discussion is started, ask them for sources. Don't worry when they provide you sources, they will be most likely written by Hungarian authors. Tell them that Hungarian authors are known by their dishonesty and bias. Demand English sources. In most unlikely scenario when you are presented with English sources, you still have a chance. If the dispute is about history of, say, Austria, demand Austiran sources as they will most likely know about history of their own country (and Austrians are not Hungarians, so they won't be biased). If this is a dispute about the history of Hungary, demand a book written by some totally neutral author, say, Chinese.

• Rule number seven: If you start to lose the discussion, say that you lost interest and stop participating. Place this statement on your userpage in a huge usermessage box with some extra accusing lines, like accusing them of nationalism (per rule #4), political propagandism, vandalism and inferiority complex.

• Rule number eight: Remember that all Hungarian editors are members of the Hungarian Ultra-Nationalist Secret Cabal^TM (HUN SC) and they are the Masters of Biasing (MoB). It always should be pointed out, so other people are aware of their machiavellian schemes.

• Rule number nine: During various Hungary-related discussion you should be on guard as Hungarians for unexplicable reasons tend to flock to those discussions. It is a good idea to remind them and other editors that such nationality-based hijacking is wrong. Particularly during polls it is vital to demand that votes of Hungarian editors are not counted, as they are obviously biased when it comes to Hungary-related issues. Per Rule #8 you should also remember to point out that they have probably used the HUN SC^TM page to inform each other about the discussion or polls.

Believe me, discussion with Hungarians can be fun!