Video Nasty (Only Fools and Horses)
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Only Fools and Horses episode | |
"Video Nasty" | |
Series | 5 |
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Writer | John Sullivan |
Director | Mandie Fletcher |
Producer | Ray Butt |
Duration | 30 minutes |
Airdate | 28 September 1986 |
Audience | 17.5 million |
Video Nasty is the fifth episode of series 5 of the BBC sit-com, Only Fools and Horses, first broadcast on 28 September 1986.
Contents |
[edit] Synopsis
At the Nag's Head, Trigger and Boycie talk about how Boycie tried to console Marlene because her inability to have children, as well as Trigger talking about how his mother knew his father...roughly. Then, Rodney enters to tell everyone that he and Mickey Pearce have been given £10,000 by their evening art class teacher to make a local community film. Del Boy and Albert also enter and tell everyone that they've been borrowing hay bales from a private zoo run by Abdul's cousin's girlfriend's brother's mate, as well as been to see Monkey Harris's sister's husband's first wife's stepfather, who works for an animal food company. Rodney tells everyone that he's writing the story of the film, and Mickey is directing. Del brings up a book that Rodney wrote called The Indictment (although he mispronounces it as The Indikment). Rodney mentions that Del threw it down the rubbish chute, and Del explains because its story was stupid - no murders in it or nothing. Rodney explains that the story in the book was an indictment of a failing system.
The next day at the flat, Rodney has a writer's block when trying to come up with a good story, until Del enters from the hall with a large package wrapped in brown paper. He unwraps it to reveal a very old, slightly battered typewriter. Del encourages Rodney to try it. Rodney hits a key then checks the paper, which shows that the letter he typed is very faint. After showing him how hard he has to hit the keys, Del tells Rodney to begin typing. But Rodney says that he can't think of an idea for a story. Del mentions that he's got an idea for a story and it's a good one. Rodney refuses it at first, but eventually caves in and lets Del tell him.
Del says that this is a Jaws-type story called There's a Rhino Loose in the City, which is about a rhinoceros who escapes from a zoo and heads straight for London. And after two or three days, there are a load of dead bodies lying about and no-one knows who's done it. So, they get hold of a private detective, who's a lot like Charlton Heston, to try and solve the crime. And the zookeeper happens to be a very attractive woman, and the detective is giving her what for, so that's the romantic interest. Del mentions that nobody knows that the rhino is missing, but Rodney points out that someone might notice that the rhino is missing one day. Del explains that the zookeeper has probably got two or three rhinos. Albert asks Del how the rhino escapes, and Rodney sarcastically answers with "Squeezed through the bars most probably!" Del reminds his younger brother not to get saucy with him. Rodney also asks his older brother if any of the eight million people living in London spot the rhino, and Del answers that the ones who spot the rhino get trampled to death by it. Rodney also points out that if any of the people in offices, in cafes, and sitting on top of buses spot the rhino. Del says that the rhino only comes out at night, and Albert asks if it's a vampire rhino, which Del answers no. Albert then asks Del where the rhino hides during the day. Del tells Rodney and Albert that the rhino hides in a disused lock-up garage in a back street where no-one ever goes, and the detective does find it, only it's at night, and the rhino has gone out then. Del tells Rodney that the the old detective is nowhere near solving the mystery, and it's not only a love story, it's a Whodunit. Rodney says that they already know who-dun-it: the rhino done it. Del says that the audience know that, but the characters in the story don't. Rodney explains what he thinks about the story of There's a Rhino Loose in the City with the following statement: "This is something! A rhinoceros has escaped from a zoo! There are 300 dead bodies covered in rhinoceros footprints! There's a lock-up garage two and 'arf foot deep in rhinoceros crap, and Charlton Heston suspects the butler!!" Del admits that there are a couple of plotholes in the story, but goes on to say that it's a disaster movie, which Rodney describes more as a calamity. Albert then asks why the rhino is killing people. Del sarcastically asks if he wants the rhino to be a social worker, then explains that the rhino is a man-eater! Rodney explains that rhinos are vegetarians, and Del suggests to elbow the lock-up garage, and make the rhino hide in the back of a health food shop. But Rodney suggests changing the whole story by making the rhino head for the countryside instead of the city, making Del sarcastically ask if they change the film title to There's a Rhino Loose Somewhere Out in the Sticks Where No Sod Lives. Albert points out that you don't call the likes of Charlton Heston because someone's eating carrots. In short, Rodney refuses to use Del's story in his film, because he's only got a small budget. Del says that it's the beauty of it, because he knows where there's a rhinoceros going cheap.
At a Chinese takeaway, Del tells Rodney that Mickey Pearce is practicing using the camera by filiming weddings for money in return. Boycie and Marlene enter, and Marlene tells the Trotters the real reason why she can't have children: Boycie and his ability to shoot blanks when it comes to getting Marlene pregnant. Marlene also mentions that it's the 20th anniversary of her and Boycie's marriage next Friday, and the Trotters promise to be there. This inspires Rodney to put that in his film.
A few days later, back at the flat, Del shows Rodney a list of extras (who have to pay Del £10 to take part) to use in his film, as well as a list of businesses to advertise. Just then, Mickey Pearce enters with the filiming equipment and his latest girlfriend Amanda, as Del and Albert exit. Rodney is horrified to see that Mickey is filming a dirty movie involving Amanda wearing a nurse's uniform and stripping all for Boycie, and Rodney accientally gets caught on film.
On Friday, at the Nag's Head, after Mickey finishes filming Boycie and Marlene's anniversary, all the gang head into the back room and watch the British premiere of Night Nurse based on the novel by Enid Blyton. Rodney quickly realizes that's what Mickey and his girlfriend have been filming in the flat, and quickly and quietly leaves once the film starts. Del screams out Rodney's name the moment he sees him in the film.
Back at Nelson Mandela House, Rodney tells Del that he didn't know what Mickey was going to do. Del mentions that the people backing up Boycie in his dirty movies are the Driscoll Brothers. As Del takes off to the bathoom to stuff the Night Nurse videotape down the toilet, Mickey Pearce and his friends show up to party, and Rodney lets them in, just for Del to chase them out. Rodney then gets a telephone call from art teacher, who says that he likes the idea of There's a Rhino Loose in the City. Rodney then says that getting a rhino is no problem, because Del knows where there's one going cheap.
[edit] Episode cast
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[edit] Trivia
- The idea for the script was based on a true life article about a youth club that were given a grant from the local council to do filming, but all the equipment and money thereafter disappeared.
[edit] Errors
- When Rodney closes the door in the kitchen while Mickey Pearce starts filming Night Nurse, the wall behind the kitchen door has no window in it, yet in "The Sky's the Limit", the studio scene on the balcony when you see the satellite dish for the first time shows a small window in the kitchen wall.
[edit] External links
Preceded by Tea for Three |
Only Fools and Horses 28 September 1986 |
Succeeded by Who Wants to be a Millionaire |