User:Truth.ceeker/Preparing for Child Custody Cases

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PREPARING FOR CHILD CUSTODY CASES WATCHTOWER BIBLE AND TRACT SOCIETY OF NEW YORK, INC. CABLE W A I C * I O I C I LEGAL DEPAIrnEYT 75 r/Y~JMUIbH EIGnlS Baxb.1.1I NE .V V0.d 1,201 L 5 A PHONE 17111 625.- Dear Re: Child Custody Hater lals We have recelved your request for the packet of court decisions and other materials on chlld custody. It 1s always sadden- Ing to learn of problems involving ch~ld custody, but we are del~ ghted to see that you are contlnulng to seek Jehovah's guldance and protection In all matters and taklng advantage of thls sltuatlon to bring further praise to him. (Luke 18:l-8) We urge you to present thrs information to your attorney as soon as poss~ble. If allegations are made that your religious bellefs and practrces are harmful to your chlldren, the enclosed ~nformation may prove helpful. We particularly draw your attention to the booklet entltled Preparing For Child custody Cases. The questions and other lnformation in this booklet should help you and vour attorney understand the iature of the attack thet- may be made against-a parent who is one of Jehovah's Witnesses. In addition, the materlal in this bookler should help vou aid your attorney prepare for not onl? court -1earlngs but also psychological assessments or evaluatlons that cften are requlred as part of a custody determination. It is our experience that the results of such psychologrcal examinations can be decrslve In the court's award of custody. Thus it IS good to appreciate the purpose and importance of the psychologlcal examrnatlon and to present your beliefs as one of Jehovah's Witnesses in a way that wlll beneflt yourself and your chlldren. -1salah 48:l'. It may be advantageous to ask your attorney to present to the court certaln publications of the Soclety whlch may be used to demonstrate that your religious bellefs are far from harmful but rather are h:sh!y beneflcla! to your children. Depending on the aqes of your cnlidren, you shul.:d conslder showlriq or~c or more of the folibwlng put~llcatlons to your attorney: My Book of Bible Stories: Llsten-ng to the Great Teacher; School and Jehovah's Wltnesses ( b r n c - ~ ~ r e-lY;o u r Yauth-Getting the Best OIJ+ of It: Re: Child Custody Materials Page 2 Making Your I'aml l-y- I , i f - l l a r p y . Also, for adolcsc~nts,a rticles from the "Youny 2eopie Ask . . ." series ln the Awake! maqazine present helpful icforrnatlon on a w ~ d ev arlety ofsubjects. Check the llstlng of "Y?.~ng People Ask . . . " artlcles in the Watchtower Pub1 icatlons !ride.?- . i910- :9 -85 , parjes 953-954. The lndex of subsequent bound volurrps of Ar..:aite! car! be checked to ccver more recent articles in the s:?rles. You can PXF!?!I ti' :'(-'!~ar t?~rncyt hat these publlr-arions and artlcles contal? excciien: B:b!e-based counsel and pract~cal wlsdom whlch wl!! . e ! p your zhlldren develop lnto !~ea!thy, nappy, productive ~nd;v;dxals. Rather than containing matter :-at 1s harmful, these puS1lcatio:is and artlcles provide hlghly beneficlal information. Incieed, :il!ch of the ~nformatlon 1s nondoctrinal and of universal appeal. Along thls :~ne, may be helpful to show the court that a parent who 1s on* af Zeclcvan's Wltnesses wlll have greater concern for hls childrer cecauso :f -he Scrlptdral responslbrllt~es lmposed upon pareqts Kt= a .,e found ~t practical to prese-t the court wlth a ccicy of on* 31 more of the Society's publlcatlons mentioned above. Vanl -~dgesar e w~lllngt o revled these pubilcatlons because c f tSe coltents and beca~se of the excel-ent 11- lustratrons whlch serve as effective teachlng alds. You qay also want to polnt od &o your aCtorney how many coples of these publlcatlons have btLq prlrted as ~ n d ~ c a t eIdn the openlnq pages of the publ~catlons. Sln-6 many of them have been dlstrlbuted rn the tens of mllllons f coples, the fact that there are only three mllllon Jehovah's Wltnesses ln the world attests to the widespread appeal of these p,bl~catlons. We also reconmend that you qlve your attorney coples of Jehovah's Witnesses--L!nltedly Dolng God's Wlll Worldwide and Jehovah's Wltnesses rn thr lwentleth Century. These two brochures will better acqualnt you- attorney (and the court, I£ necessary) urth the practices, h1st31,. and beliefs of Jehovah's Wltnesses. Your brothers and fellow servants, X&8.wf'- OF NEW VORK. INC. Enclosures P.S. Thank you for your krnd contrlbutlon. TABLE OF CONTENTS PAGE INTRODUCTION SAMPLE CROSS-EXAMJNA'TION QIJES'I'IONS THAT WI!llNESS PARENT COULD FACE . . . . . . . 1 SAMPLE APPROACl1 BY I1717'NESS PARENT TO CROSS-EXAMINATION . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11 SAMF'LE CROSS-EXAMINATION QUESTIONS FOR NON-I.VZl'NE'SS PAIZENT. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 SAMPLE DIREC'I' EXAMINA'I'ION AND SAMPLE RESPONSES FOR LOCAL ELDER... . . . . . . . . . . . . 26 SAMPLE R~SIJMEO F BIBLE STORY BOOK . . . . . 34 SAMPLF: Dl 1tE:C'I' EXAMINA'I'ION AND SAMPLE RESPONSES FOR YOUNG WII1Nfi;SSES . . . . . . . . 40 LIST C)F SOtJRCE MA'I'E7RlAL-Prqfessional Studies in Child I?s~chology . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45 PREPARATION FOR PSYCHOLOGICAL OR PSYCHIATRIC EVALUATION . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52

INTRODUCTION This booklet is designed to help you and your attorney prepare for the difliculties Christian parents often face in child custody disputes. In the eyes of the law, the overriding concern in every custody suit is the welfare and best interests of the child. In deciding which parent will better provide for a child's best interests, courts will exanline all aspects of the child's physical, emotional, arid spiritual welfare in either household. Thus your religious practices and teachings as one of Jehovah's Witnesses will prot)at)ly bc a subject of inquiry by your former spouse and the court. Opposers often focus at tention 011 1.efusa1 to consent to blood transfusiotis, holitlays and birthday celebrations, arguing that Witness children are deprived of a "norn~al" upbringing. There is no need to hide or distort your religious beliefs and p~,actices in the face of such criticism. When giving :in answer, alxvays try to focus on the positive aspects of your raeligious I~eliefs, sllo~ving how they have benefitect you and your family. (Isa. 48:17) Be sure to answer questions regarding such subjects in a way that is both understandable and reasonat~le, accurately presenting the wholesomeness of the Christian home. -1 Pet. 3:lS. This booltlet will also help you prepare for psychological examinations that frequently are required as part of a child custody determination. Having some itlea of the type of questions a psychologist may aslt should help you handle the examination naturally and without undue anxiety. Disputes ovcr rhild custody cnn be an o13deal for C~II-iisatn parents. But wit11 pl-eparntion and 1.eliance on Jehovah, you need not he withotit hope, knowi~ig that in the end Jehovah will set all matters straight.-Ps. 43:l; 1 Pet. 3:12.

SAMPLE CROSS-EXAMINATION QUESTIONS THAT WITNESS PARENT COULD FACE 1 CROSS-EXAMINATION QUESTIONS THAT WITNESS PARENT COULD FACE When answering questions about holidays, we want to rememher that many people view our religion as a litany of negative responses. Therefore, whenever possible, add some positive statement which emphasizes the benefit to ourselves and our children when we refrain from a celebration or holiday. For example, rather than simply s:tying, "No, I don't celebrate Christmas," you may respond in the afiirn~ative," After a careful investigation of the Scriptures and the historical background of Christmas, n1y fanlily and I conclurled that the celebration of C111-istmas was not necessary to have God's approval. We h;tve decided not to limit our gift-giving and farilily gatherillgs to specific predeterminecl dates, but would rather enjoy these activities year round." On the suhject of holidays you may face questions such as the following: a L)o .Tellovat1's \Vitnesses celebrate Christmas? 'J'lln11ltsgi\-ing? Easter? Birthdays? Halloween? ILIother's Day? Father's Day? Valentine's Day? New Year's Day? St. Patrick's Day? Why? a Are not your children deprived of the Christmas spirit? a Most of the children in your child's class celebrate Christmas . . . , etc.? a Is it difticult for children to feel different than their classmates and school friends? a So is it difficult for children to be Jehovah's Witnesses? a 111 far:t, is it difIicult for you at titnes to feel different and to be one of Jehovah's Witnesses? Religion: Many try to portray the beliefs and practices of Jehovah's Witnesses as dogmatic and restrictive. When ans~vering questions about your religious beliefs and practices, en~pllasize the fact that you have formed your beliefs and adopted your practices after much study and reflection; your religion is not simply a matter of rules CROSS-EXAMINATION QUESTIONS THAT WITNESS PARENT COULD FACE which have been imposed by the elders. You want to emphasize the fact that you are a thinking, well-balanced, and reasonable individual who is competent to act as a parent. Avoid any response which gives the impression that you are unwilling or unable to provide for your child's best interests because of your religious beliefs. On the subject of religion you may face questions such as the following: Do you believe you have the only right religion? Do you believe the Catholic (or other) Church is true or false? Do you believe all false religion is under the control of Satan? Is the Catholic (or other) Church under the control of Satan? Are Catholics (or whoever) under the control of Satan? How do you feel about your ex-wife/husband who is not one of Jehovah's Witnesses? Is he/she under the control of Satan? What do you teach your child about your ex-wife/husband? Will God destroy all false religion? As one of Jehovah's Witnesses, do you believe that only Jehovah's Witnesses will be saved? Will all Catholics (or whoever) be destroyed? Will you teach your child that his father's/mother's religious beliefs are wrong? Will you teach your child that his father/mother will be destroyed by God if he/she does not become one of Jehovah's Witnesses? Will you teach your child that there is a risk that his father/mother will be destroyed by God? a Is it true that there are great differences between CROSS-EXAMINATION QUESTIONS THAT WITNESS PARENT COULD FACE beliefs of Catholics (or whoever) and Jehovah's Witnesses? 8 In fact, you left the Catholic (or other) Church to become one of Jehovah's Witnesses? 8 Can you be one of Jehovah's Witnesses and a Catholic (or whatever) at the same time? 8 If you cannot be one of Jehovah's Witnesses and a Catholic (or whatever) at the same time, how can you expect your child to be? 8 Will ~ o luea ch your child that both your church and the Catholic (or other) Church are right? 8 Won't your child be confused by being taught two religions? If your son was participating in a play or another spccial event at tlie Catholic (or other) Church, would you attend? 8 Jlo you respect all religions? 8 If il niember of your fanlily was being baptized, tiia1.1.ied, or a fanlily funeral service was being given in the Catholic (or other) Church, would you attend? 8 Ilow is this showilig respect for the Catholic (or other) Church or your family? 8 If you ~~esr)cacltl religions, why do you go from house-to-house trying to convert people? 8 Jion7 n.ould you feel if your child decided he did not \ v m t lo be one of Jehovah's Witnesses and chose to belong to another church? 8 Woultl you still love your child? 8 Do you teach your child only about the religion of Jehovah's Witnesses? 8 110 you hclieve that your child should learn about other religions? 8 If your child, out of curiosity, decided he wanted to attend the services of another church, would you allow him to? Would you accompany him? CROSS-EXAMINATION QUESTIONS THAT WITNESS PARENT COULD FACE Blood: Some confuse our stand on the use of blood and blood products with the position of religions that believe in faith healing and refuse all medical treatment. You want to show that you are a lovi~ig, caring parent who wants the best medical care possible for your child. Explain that you are aware of many serious and possibly fatal dangers from blood and that you have made arrangements with your doctor to provide alternative non-blood management for your child. Acknowledge that your former mate properly has a right to participate and have a say in any rnedical decisions involving your child. Stress the fact that you want the best available medical treatment for yourself and your child and that avoidance of blood, in your opinion and the opinion of many in the medical community, is a sound, healthful course. Do you believe that every word of the Bible is literally true? Do you teach that it is better to die than to take a blood transfusion? You claiin that there are alternatives; what is the alternative where someone loses blood in a car accident? How do you know there are alternatives? Is it true that only a minority of doctors are willing to try alternative, bloodless treatment? Do most doctors recommend blood transfusions? Isn't it true that it may not be possible to find a doctor who will use bloodless alternatives? What if the only available doctor said there were no alternatives? Would you prefer to die? a Would you ever consent to your child being given a blood transfusion? a What if the doctors said your child would die without a blood transfusion? If the doctors told you that your child needed a blood transfusion, would you advise and consult your ex-wife/husband? CROSS-EXAMINATION QUESTIONS THAT WITNESS PARENT COULD FACE IIow ~vorlld you feel if your ex-wife/husl)and consr~itedt o your child being given a blood transfusion? Wo~llciy ou suffer any religious pe~laltyif you or your child were given a blood transfusion? LfTould you l)e sul)jcc.t to alienation or disapproval froni ch111-ch rnenll)el-s if you or your child were given a blood transfusion? Would you still love your child, even if he/she was given a blood transfusion? Govcv-nr)t(;'t)st : 'I'l~cs latid wllicsh ,Jehoval~'sW it~icssest ake regarding govt~rll~iic~rilst s oft c.11 1~li~tlIId~r'~to'COlrdh.~ nr esporidi~lg to cl~~cslioti~sx 'gat'diligy our view of governnlent, accentlinic 111(> po~ilitc 4011 pay all yorlr taxes, you are hontbst i i t l c l I;I\v al)iclirlg, 4011 do ~ioti ~ivolvey oul-self in ci\-il tlir;ol)c~clic~t~ncti.c(l. , sou I)cblicve tliat the supcrior authorif i c l c ; , i~lc~lutfi~c-iogl1 1.1o flic3i;lls, should be obeyed and are northy of our Iionor anti respect. L)o J 011 I)clicvc tllc governments of this world are cotit~*ollehdy Satan? 0 Are the jl~dgcl and this cwurt controlled by Satan? T > o yo11 l)clievc God will destroy the governments of t his world ? Do you vole? L)o bou stand up for the National Anthem/salute the flag? I I' j orll. c.ount1.y is at war, would you fight in the mili tnry? J>o J O I I l)elitv~th at you will be persecuted for your l)t.liefs? IT'l~nl kind of persecution do you expect and from ~vhoni? Do you teilcli your cllild that he will be persecuted for his beliefs? Is that healthy for your child? CROSS-EXAMINATION QUESTIONS THAT FF'ITNESS PARENT COULD FACE a Is your child frightened by the prospect of persecution? Many do not consider Satan to be a real person and will find your belief in Satan to be childish or fanatical. \Vlien giving ail answer, disli~iguish the Bible's view of Sa1an from the cartoon character with a pitchfork, as many people view Satan. lf people helieve in God and His angels, why is it childish to believe that some angels chose to disobey God? a Is Satan the ruler of the world? a Does Satan co~itrole veryone who is not one of Jehovah's Witnesses? a Is Satan powerful? a Are you afraid of Satan? a Do you teach your child about Satan? Is your child afraid of Satan? Armageddon marks a tifile of destruction of the wicked, as well as the beginning of Jehovah's righteous new system. Emphasize the positive aspects of the event. It is not like the fr-ightening hellfire doctrine, which keeps the wicked in torment forever. Do you believe that we are living in the time of the end? Do you helieve that many people and tiluch of the world will be destroyed at Armageddon? a Will that be a frightening time? a Do you teach your child about Armageddon? 8 Is your child not scared.'upset at tile prospect of his mot her/father, school friends, neighbors and himself/herself being destroyed at Armageddon? Practices of Jchovrrh's I.t7ittzesses: a How many meetings do Jehovah's Witnesses have a week? CROSS-EXAMINATION QUESTlONS THAT WITNESS PARENT COULD FACE Do you attend all of these meetings? If yo11 did not attend all of these meetings or go out pl'caching, would you be subject to corlgregational disapproval or discipline by your elders? Do you bring your child to all of these meetings? Is it not c o r r t ~tth at if your child attends your mid-week nlceting he would not be in bed before 9:45 or 10:00 p.m.? Is that not a very late night for a small child? Js~l't i t diflic.ult for a small child to sit through these long meetings? Woi~ldn't your child rather be playing than attending these church meetings? a Would you teach your child to be one of Jehovah's Witnesses? a L)o you hope your child will become one of Jehovah's Witnesses? Will you bring your child to all of your meetings? Will you 111'ingj -ol~cr hild out in your preaching work? Every weekend? For how long? If your c3hild did not want to go to your church meetings, would you force him to go? If your child did not want to go out preaching, would you force him to go? a Is it not clifficult for you to go preaching at times? Do you meet sorne people who do not want to hear your message, who reject you and are rude to you? If >-our child vent preaching he at times would encolinter people who disagree with him, reject him and are rude to him? Wouldn't t11;tt be diffici~ltf or your child? Would he find that hard to endure? Is it not harmful for children to feel rejected? If yoti care at~outy our child, why would you deliberately place him in a situation where he is bound to suffer embarrassment and rejection? CROSS-EXAMINATION QUESTIONS THAT WITNESAY PARENT COULD FACE School: (May be faced with quotes from "School" Brochure) Many feel that Jehovah's Witnesses are against education. On the contrary, the children of Jehovah's Witnesses are encouraged to make the most of their education and to become proficient in reading, writing, and analytical abilities. In fact, Jehovah's Witnesses of ten excel in school. You may use the Index to investigate the wide range of topics on which the Society encourages discussion and research. The Society's publications encourage our youths to be diligent and serious-minded in their studies. This booklet "School and Jehovah's Witnesses" sets out your church's beliefs in the school setting? Your church recommends that parents and children in your faith are to follow the rules set out in this booklet and that teachers should abide by them? Isn't it true that you won't permit your child to associate with or make close friends of people who are not Jehovah's Witnesses? Isn't it true that you won't permit your child to go to school dances? to date? Isn't it true that you would not allow your children to participate in extracurricular activities? school plays? school bands? Isn't it true that you would not permit your child to be a class representative or be on the school council? Isn't it true that you would not permit your child to participate in school elections? a Isn't it true that yo11 would not allow your child to join any school clubs? Isn't it true t.hat you would not allow your child to join any school teams? Isn't it true you would not permit your child to engage in ariy school activities associated with national or religious holidays? You do not permit your child to stand up for the National Anthem in school? CROSS-EXAMINATION QUESTIONS THAT WlTNESS PARENT COULD FACE Your children will be very different from the majority of children in school and will be deprived of many etijoyable, healthy activities that other students enjoy? At titnes your child may be 111ocked or alienated at school because of these beliefs? It's not easy for a child to be one of Jehovah's Witrlesses at school? If you love your child why would you want to deprive Iiitn/her of so many activities that he/she would enjoy? Isn't it true that you ~vould not permit your child to attend a college or university? Isn't it true that if your child attended a college or university Ile,/she would face disapproval in congregation and be subject to counseliilg by your ministers? Would you support your child if he/she decided to go to a college or university? Isn't it true that you want and are going to teach your child to be a full-time minister? ?'fiat is the only career that you intend for your child? Corporal yzot ishntetzt: As one of Jchovali's Witnesses you believe in corporal punishment? You believe the Bible directs parents to discipline their children with a rod or stick? You n70uld not he a good Christianigood parent if you failed to heed that Biblical command? P~nctices essions: Did jou talk to your lawyer about this court proceeding? Did your lawyer tell you what to say? SAMPLE APPROACH BY WITNESS PARENT TO CROSS-EXAMINATION SAMI'LE APPROACH BY WTNESS PARENT TO CROSS-EXAMINATION Do yo71 believe you have t?w only right religion? Of cwurse I do. If I didn't think so I would join another. Do ? / 0 1 ~b elieve the Ctzlholic (or other) Church is true or false? I believe its teachings are in error. Will all C:czt?~olics (or otilers) he destroyed? Jehovah makes those judgments, not we. Do Jellovnh 's lVitne,sses celebrate Ch~istmns? 'J'tic relt1)r.ation of the wint~rso lstice oil 1)ccwnher 25 goes hack to the a~icientR o~nan p~w~tico~f ttsh c Saturnalia. It is part of pagan sun not.ship. \17e (lo not celel)~.apta~g ;m festivals. The Rit~lcd irects that we celebrate Jesus' death, not birth. Are not ?/our children deprived of tile Christmas spirit? .Jtt~ovnl~W'si 1llessc.s encourage love, familial as~oc>intioan1 lc1 charity throughout the year. (;ift-giving and family association are not restricted to one day or time of year. Uo you rcspec:t othcr ~cligions?i f so, u?hy do you go fr.om holise to ilozcse trying to convert people? I'lle nihl~h as gnotl news for ptople of all rSeligions and hnckgrou~itls---theg ood 11~11;tsh at Cod will soon bring peace to earth through his Kingdom. We want to share this with our neighbors. SAMPLE APPROACH BY WITNESS PARENT TO CROSS-EXAMINATION Do yoz~ teccch that it is better to die than take a blood transfusion? I do not want myself or my children to die. I want the best medical treatment I can get for my child. Blood transfusions carry many death-dealing side effects such as AIDS. We prefer to accept safer medical a1 ternatives. How do you know there are alternatives? Our church regularly reproduces medical information that points out alternatives. Besides, I have discussed this with my doctor who is willing to use the alternatives. What if a doctor said tlwre are no alternatives? That is only one opinion. Jehovah's Witnesses know from experience that there are many different medical opinions. Also we know of many cases where the same thing was said but the patient still recovered without blood transfusion. Jehovah's Witnesses are being treated successfully without blood by doctors and hospitals throughout North America. SAMPLE CIIOSS-EXAMINATION QUF!SI'IONS FOJt NON- CVI 11N13SS PAICENT SAMPLE CROSS-EXAMINATION QUESTIONS FOR NON-WITNESS PARENT Work: e Where do you work? e Elow far is your work place from your home? e What time do you leave for work? What are your hours of work? TIThat times would the child require day-care assistance of a neighbor? friend? relative? Is your spouse home at those same times? 0 Is a ~ieigtit)or/friend'r elative to be preferred over the child's nlotherifather for day-care? Jehova7~'s Witnesses' role as parents atzd spouse . . . A) Parent: Does your spouse prepare meals for the family? Does your spouse do family laundry? Does your spouse care well for the home? (i.e., provide a neat home, do maintenance, etc.) Does your spouse care well for the children? Does your spouse wake the children in the morning? Does your spouse dress the children in the morning? Does your spouse prepare breakfast for the children? Does your spouse prepare lunch for the children? Does your spouse prepare supper for the children? Does your spouse take the children to school? e Does your spouse take care of the children when they are sick? Is your spouse at home when the children return from school? SAMPLE CROSS-EXAMINATION QUESTIONS FOR NON-WITNESS PARENT Does your spouse put the children to bed? Uotls your spouse take an interest in the children's etfucation? Does y0111' spouse spend time helping the children with their education/homework in school? Does your spouse visit the schoolteachers? 110~sy our spouse attend the school on parent/teacher night? 130 you attend the school on parent/teacher nights? it7\1e11 nnq tlie last time you attended the school on parent, teacher night? Does your spouse engage in recreation with your children? Which? When? 8 Do your children love your spouse? Does your spouse love your children? Wo~lld~ij.'ot u agree that your children need both their mother and their father? Is your spouse a good parent? Woultl you describe your spouse as a good man/woman? Describe your spouse's good qualities. I f ~totz-ll*ilttc~tr, lslsi> gesl r'itttcss s1,ozl.w lztra t~zcrilcc h~ cl.clzn zore i ~ n p o ~ t nt~haznt fnrnilg: llon- lias )our spousc put his, her church ahead of family? Give examples. 1Vh;tt yo11 rc~llly rncan is she will not let you dictate what church she goes to? U ) Spouse: IIow (tit1 .;~)ousc'sr o~ivc~'siotno Jehovall'c Witnesses harln his her sc.xual relationship with you? Did your spouse refuse the marital due? SAMPLE CROSS-EXAMINATION QUESTIONS FOR NON-WITNESS PARENT Have you been very upset since your spouse has becorne one of Jehovah's Witnesses? Might your angry attitude have an adverse emotional effect on your spouse? Is it surprising your spouse would find it dificult in view of your attitude of intolerance and animosity? Is your spouse hospitable? Does your spouse entertain your friends and family? Isn't it true tliat your. spouse is friendly ant1 has good relationships with your family members? Did your spouse suggest family counseling? Wasn't he/she willing to attend fanlily counseling? Why did you reject family counseling? 1s it not correct that your children beconie upset when they observe angry interchanges between their parents? Is it not true that your children are disturbed and upset by your separation from your spouse? Corporal pzcnisitment: Do you discipline your children? Do you ever spank your children? lioliclngs: How lias your spouse actively discouraged children from sharing in Christmas, etc., with yourself? e ITas your spollse prevented you from having your friends into the home? Ilas your spouse ever invited people into the home over the Christmas period? Has your spouse ever asked you to make a meal during this period? SAMPLE CROSS-EXAMINATION QUESTIONS FOR NON-WITNESS PARENT a Does your spouse give gifts to children at Christmas? a Do they accept gifts? a Izr~,:; :;our cpouse prevent you from sharing in such relebratlons with the children? f31~r~d: 0 What tio you know ahout blood transfusions? e I l a t ~yo u cvtxr read any medical information about blood transfusions? a 1-10 you know if there are any adverse side effects? 8 Itlave yorr he:lrti of AIDS and hepatitis being contracted through blood transfusions? a Have you inquired if there are alternatives? a Clan you j~oint to any medical information that sl~ows more people recover with blood transfusions than any alternative treatment? I1:1ve j80ti talkcrl to any doctors who operate without blood transfusions? a It la\ e you riisr~~ssetdh e issue of blood transfusions with your spouse? a Dicl your spouse say that he,/she would let the c~liil(iretid ie without any medical treatment? What were your spouse's exact words? Does j'our spouse bring your children to your family doctor on a regular basis? a I)o ally of your children have health/medical problen~s at present? a 1)o yollr c31iilrirt~ar~t present suffer from any conditions requiring blood transfusions? a Have your chilciren ever needed a blood transfusion? a 1Ias your spouse ever denied your chilciren any medical treatment when they were sick? SAMPLE CROSS-EXAMINATION QUESTIONS FOR NON-WITNESS PARENT Non- Witness spouse's religious activities In what religion were you raised? Which religions have you been affiliated with/attended during your life? Do you practice any religion? Which religion? Where? When was the last church service attended? How often have you attended services in last six months? Year? Five years? IIns your spouse ever tried to prevent you from going to your own church? Does your spouse interfere with your taking the children to a church of your choice? Do you bring your children with you when you attend church? Does your fa~nilya ttend church on a regular basis as a family unit? Which church? How often? Wliich churches have you taken children to? When? Where? When was the last time? 8 Describe your activities within your church. Do your children attend Sunday School at your church? When? 8 Over what period of time have they attended Sunday School? Do you believe in the Bible? Is the Bible a Holy Book to your church? Does your priest (minister) read from the Bible? Do you read the Bible? Do you study the Bible? How often? 8 Do you have any objection to your spouse reading/studying the Bible? (If so, what and why?) Do you have any objection to your children reading/studying the Bible? (If so, what and why?) SAMPLE CROSS-EXAMINATION QUESTIONS FOR NON-WITNESS PARENT a Ilo you pray with your children at home? When? How often? a Do you pray with your children at mealtimes? Bedtime? a Do you believe in Hell? a Iloes your church teach your children to believe in Hell? a What form of birth control do you practice? a Is this a form of birth control that is accepted japproved by your church? Stnt~rso f cltilrlre~t,: a What are the ages of your children? a What ~ I ' Cth e hobt~ies,i ~itercslsa, ptitudes, etc., of your cllildtw~?( Note: Ask a1)out the children indivirtually; often a rigid parent will not know his i~~dividucahl ildren well.) a Where do your children attend school? a What grades are they in? a Arc your children doing well in school? What are t licir marks? (Note: Sre if pitrent can describe how each child is doing individually.) a 1iTh;lt do the report cards show? (Note: Seek order compelling discovery of the children's report cards.) a Do the teachers And their progress acceptable? a Have you seen the children during classes? a Do your children have friends? a 110 your children have friends at school? Have you i~icluired? a So yo11 consider your children to he normal children? a Are you proud of your children? SAMPLE CROSS-EXAMINATION QUESTIONS FOR NON-WITNESS PARENT Religious activities of Witness spotcse: Is your spouse free to choose a religion for himself/herself? Do you object to him/her going to church? If your spouse were to attend services at a Jewish Synagogue or Mornlon Tabernacle, would that be objectionable to you? If not, why not? (Note: Repeat above question for Christian Science Church, Mennonite or Amish Church.) Would you permit your children to attend these services with your spouse? Do you object to your spouse attending meetings at the Kingdom Hall? Why? Do you object to your spouse bringing your children to the Kingdom Hall? Why? When does your spouse attend church meetings? What are the hours? Please tell me what hours your spouse spends in church work. (Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, etc.) Is this at the same time that the children are in school? How has your spouse forced the children into her religion? Give examples. I f non-IVitness spozcse alleges that beliefs of Jeltovalt's JVttness spouse will harm children: What religious beliefs of your spouse will damage children? (Provide list and examples.) What religious practices of your spouse will damage children? (Provide list and examples.) What has been your spouse's "indoctrination of the children"? What examples can you point to? Is reading the Bible indoctrination? SAMPLE CROSS-EXAMINATION QUESTIONS FOR NON-WITNESS PARENT IIow have your children been "disrupted," "confused," "enlotionally disturbed," "upset," etc., by your spouse's religious beliefs/practices? (Give examples.) tVher*e is this "confusion," "anxiety" reflected in your children's school reports? What do the teachers say? Do the children have a problem with your spouse's faith or do you? , Do the cllildren love your spouse? Do they enjoy being with your spouse? Is this evidence of children who are "worried and anxious"? Nort-ll'itness spouse's attitude to Witness spotr se: 8 Has your. spouse ever tried to stop you from going to your own church? Does your spouse allow you to take the children to the church of your choice? ITave you ever attended a meeting of Jehovah's Witnesses to hear what is taught? Have you ever read publications of Jehovah's Witnesses? What have you read? (Note: If aflirmative answer given, ask name, page, and date of publication.) I lave you talked to any i~iinisterso f Jehovah's Witnesses to ask them questions? 0 Ilave you associated with Jehovah's Witnesses on a social basis? 130 t h ~ yha ve parties? Do they enjoy other recreation? What inquiries have you made? Are "birthdays, Christnias, Ilalloween, and New Year's" the only enjoyable activities there are in your life? Does your spouse, as one of Jehovah's Witnesses, SAMPLE CROSS-EXAMINATION QUESTIONS FOR NON-WITNESS PARENT teach your children honesty? To tell the truth? Respect others' property? a How do you know Jehovah's Witnesses "do not recognize the government of the United States"? Why were you told this? (Note: Or any other allegations raised by non-Witness spouse.) What do they not recognize? a Do they pay taxes? Do they obey the laws? a Do they encourage honesty and good citizenship? a What has been your response when your spouse talks to you about religion? Note: Fit tlte following questions to the facts of individual case: a Have you not admitted to being frustrated? a Did you not on one occasion rip up a book? a Is it surprising that a wifeihusband would not want to talk to her/his husband/wife about such matters when reaction is always one of anger? (Note: If non-Witness spouse has used words such as "fanatic," "proselytizing," "religious intransigence," "obsessed," "indoctrination," ask him/her to define these words as he/she understands them. These may be his/her lawyer's words and not his own.) a Do you respect the government of the United States? a Do you respect the Constitution of the United States? a Do you respect the constitutional provision that guarantees your spouse's freedom of worship? a Are you so intolerant that the minute your spouse wants to practice the religion of his/her choice, you want to break up the family? a Is that how you demonstrate your respect for the Constitution of the United States? The Bill of Rights? The government of the United States? SAMPLE CROSS-EXAMINATION QUESTIONS FOR NON-WITNESS PARENT Is your spouse's religion the problem, or is it your intolerant attitude? I f nett- lvittzese spo~lsec llleges Witness spouse t1ztrc7c rrtt agreerrtent as to the religion of t7ze c72 ildren: What is the agreement you are referring to? When did your spouse agree that hejshe would not involve your children in the teachings of Jehovah's Witnesses (or raise them as Catholics, etc.)? a Where is the agreement? When ~vasit signecl? (Note: Seek an order to compel discovery of agreement.) Child's freedont of choice: Do you object to your child being exposed to different viewpoints? Religious viewpoints? Do J-ou object to the school teaching children about different nations/cultures and their religions? Do you object to your children learning about the religious viewpoints of their friends and their friends' families? Do you want to prevent your children from learning about their other parent's views? Does your spouse prevent the children from knowing about your religious views? Why do you want to stop the children from learning about his/hers? Shoulcl your children be allowed to choose which religion they wish to follow? IIow can n child he allowed to choose his/her own religious persuasion unless 1ie:stie is exposed to hislher parents' religious choices? Do you love your children only so long as they are in your religion? SAMPLE CROSS-EXAMINATION QUESTIONS FOR NON-WITNESS PARENT Will you still love your children if they become Catholics, Jews, members of the United Church, Mormons, or Jehovah's Witnesses? What have you told your children about Jehovah's Witnesses? SAMPLE DIRECT EXAMINATION AND SAMPLE RESPONSES FOR LOCAL ELDER DIRECT EXAMINATION AND SAMPLE RESPONSES FOR LOCAL ELDER What is your name? What is your occupation? Where do you live? What sort of instruction does the church encourage parents to provide their children? (For example, you might wish to share some of the following educational and culturally-enriching subjects from the Society's publications: Arts and Crafts "You, Too, Can Learn Calligraphy!" Awake!, August 8, 1985, p. 25-27 "Oil Painting-Wholesome Relaxation," Awake!, May 8, 1974, p. 21-23 "A Closer Look at Famous Works of Art," Awake!, January 8, 1982, p. 16-20 "Keeping Small Hands Busy," Awake!, May 8, 1985, p. 24-27 "Are We Losing the Art of Learning?" Awake!, September 22, 1982, p. 22, 23 Hobbies and Recreation "Choosing a Hobby Wisely," Awake!, November 8, 1961, p. 13-16 "Beauty in the Rocks," Awake!, September 22, 1969, p. 20-22 "The Value of Toys," Awake!, January 8, 1971, p. 9-12 "Stamp Collecting as a Hobby," Awake!, July 8, 1971, p. 20-23 Is Home Sewing for You?" Awake!, August 22, 1973, p. 9-12 "Knitting as a Lifetime Hobby," Awake!, May 8, 1978, p. 23-26 "The Origin of Playing Cards," Awake!, August 22, 1978, p. 9-12 DIRECT EXAMINATION AND SAMPLE RESPONSES FOR LOCAL ELDER "Home Coniputers-Are They for You?" Awnlce!, February 8, 1984, p. 12-15 "Cooki~igS paghetti Giulia's Way," Awake!, January 8, 1986, p, 25-27 "Cheese-Are You a Connoisseur?" Awake!, August 8, 1986, p. 25-27 "IVill the Abacus Survive Again?" Awake!, Deceinber 8, 1986, p. 19 "Young Pcoplr3 Ask . . . What About After-School Activities?" Ibid., p. 16-18 "Explo~*i~Eiagr tli's Last Great Frontier," Awake!, Llecember 22, 1986, p. 16-19 Music crltrl E~ltwtcri~zrn.ent "IVlint Should Your Child Read?" Awake!, March 22, 1978, p. 16-21 "Can 'I'elevision Benefit Us?" Awake!, April 22, 1978, p. 4-6 "Control Your Television!" Ibid., p. 17-20 "What Do You Do for Entertainment?" Awake!, January 22, 1979, p. 3, 4 "Ilon't Ignore the Need for Entertainment," Bid., p. 5-8 "Playing Indoor Games," Bid., p. 9-12 "Ilndersta~idiliga nd Enjoying Music," Awake!, February 8, 1979, p. 20-24 "Music Lessons for Your Two-Year-Old?" Awake!, February 22, 1980, p. 25-28 "A Sense of Humor-God's Gift," Awake!, September 8, 1980, p. 25-28 "Begin Teaching Your Baby to Read," Awake!, September 22, 1982, p. 23-27 "What Is Your Kind of Music?" The Watchtower, January 15, 1983, p. 3, 4 DIRECT EXAMINATION AND SAMPLE RESPONSES FOR LOCAL ELDER "Bridge That Gap With Conversation," Awake!, June 8, 1983, p. 24, 25 "They Are IIelping Children to Read," Awake!, June 22, 1985, p. 23 "Reading--It Can Enrich Your Life," Awake!, September 8, 1985, p. 3-8 "Young People Ask . . . How Can I Have a Good Time?" Awake!, November 8, 1986, p. 10-12 Sports "Winter Can Be Fun," Awake!, December 22, 1958, p. 8-11 "Flying a Kite Can Be Fun," Awake!, March 22, 1973, p. 24-26 "How Long Could You Survive in Deep Water?" Awake!, June 22, 1973, p. 17-19 "Discovering the Wonderful World of Walking," Awake!, August 22, 1973, p. 24-27 "You Can Sail Safely," Awake!, September 8, 1980, p. 23-25 "My First Marathon," Awake!, December 22, 1980, p. 27, 28 "Lessons You Can Learn from Sports," Awake!, July 22, 1981, p. 25-27 "Sports and the Fanlily-A Balanced View," Awake!, May 22, 1982, p. 9-11 "Surfing-What's It All About?" Awake!, August 22, 1982, p. 12-16 "Young People Ask . . . Should I Go In for Bodybuilding?" Awake!, December 22, 1986, p. 13-15) (Other general topics include Animals and Plant Life, Economics and Employment, Health, Human Relations, Lands and Peoples, Science, World Affairs, and many more.) DIRECT EXAMINATION AND SAMPLE RESPONSES FOR LOCAL ELDER How does the church assist parents? (For example, you might consider Bible Story 1)ook and illustrate liow the book is organized anti how it teactles principles such as honesty, respect for authority, the value of obedience, etc.) Is this publication used only by Jehovah's Witnesses? rr Is this the only type of publication the church provides? (You may nrallt to refer to and give brief r6sum6 of Grent 'I'etrcher and Youth books and "You~ig People Ask" series and discuss in similar fashion as Bible Story book resume.) 0 ITow ilnpol.tailt do Jehovah's Wit~iesses consider such parental instruction of children? (Referring to sclviptures such as 1 Timothy 5:8, F;phesiatls G:1-4, anct Proverbs 1:8, 9, you may want to give Bible exarrlples of parental il~structionn 7hich benefited offspring to el~ipl~asizthei s functan~e~ltBali ble belief. Also see "Rearing Ilappy Children in a 7'rouhled World," The Watchtower, January 15, 1982, p. 12.) ('a11 you desr~~iltwv1 1at takes place at the meetings of Jeliovah's Witnesses? (hl;ltry criticiz~th o ~neetings chetlule as one wliic1i is ovcr21y dernmdirlg for a young child. You may want to I~ighlight that they are ~-t>ligiore~tslu, c~~tiollaplr,o mote a warm familial spirit, and that young people make many social contacts at these meetings.) Why do Jehovall's Witnesses visit people in their homes by calling from house to house? DIRECT EXAMINATION AND SAMPLE RESPONSES FOR LOCAL ELDER (Highlight that visits are made with interested people to share good news of bright future for all mankind. Also see Iiingdom Ministly, December 1977, "Are You Instructing Your Family?" and Kingdom Ministly, February 1979, "How Does God's Kingdom Affect Your Family?") Can you describe what takes place at such visits? (There are various positive features to highlight. For exanlple, many people invite Jehovah's Witnesses in and engage in upbuilding conversatiolls; people who are not interested are left on a friendly basis; many visits are made on people who are also social contacts and cotlversation is not restricted to religious beliefs; many ho~nev isits are like dropping in to see friends; children who acconlpany parent learn to be outgoing and take an active interest in people from various backgrounds.) What view does your church encourage children to take toward a parent who is not one of Jehovah's Witnesses? (Ephesians 6:l is to be applied to one who is not one of Jehovah's Witnesses, as well as to a parent who is'disfellowshipped. See w10/15/81, p. 19; g10/22/75, p. 27, 28; g9/22/70, p. 27, 28.) What view does church take toward people of other religions? (Jesus taught love neighbor as self, includes all; we respect others' right to worship as they choose.) Does church teach that young people should learn only about religion of Jehovah's Witnesses? (No. Consider following objective consideration of other religions in our publications: DIRECT EXAMINATION AND SAMPLE RESPONSES FOR LOCAL ELDER Yourig People Ask . . . Why Should I Accept My Pal-ents' Religion?, Awake!, November 22, 1986, p. 13-15; Young People Ask . . . Is the Bible Relevant for Me?, Awake!, May 22, 1986, p. 12-14; A Non-Violent World-Did Ghandi Show the Way?, Awake!, April 8, 1984, p. 3-12; What Is Religion Doing for Mankind?, Awake!, January 8, 1984, p. 3-14; The Latter-Day Saints in Today's World, Awake!, December 22, 1982, p. 24-27; hloon's Unification Church-What Does It Believe?, Awake!, September 8, 1982, p. 10-15; 'The Church of England-An "Endangered Species"?, Awake!, July 8, 1981, p. 25-27; Why So hlany Religions in South Africa?, Awake!, January 22, 1981, p. 12-1.5; A Loolc at IIindu Views of Life and Death, Awake!, February 8, 1977, p. 16-23; Is Buddhisln the Way to E~llightenment?, Awake!, January 8, 1974, p. 16-19; Test Your Iteligious Knowledge, Awake!, April 22, 1961, p. 4-27; DIRECT EXAMINATION AND SAMPLE RESPONSES FOR LOCAL ELDER Examining Islamic Teachings, TVcttd~lower, November 1, 1953, P. 653-656. 8 Arc there suhstrintial differenres between basic princsiples of morality as taught by Jehovah's Witnesses and the Catholic (or whichever) Church? (Principles of 'I'en Con~rna~idrlienatsr e common to both groups.)

This book is designed for young children. (See blue block on publisher's page of Bible Story book.) This book would be the basis for any religious communication between the parent and the child, up to about age seven or eight. The teachings are positive as will be shown by analysis. No serious-minded parent could object, regardless of particular religious association. The lessons are objective. The lessons in this book are NOT doctrinal. They are lessons on loyalty, honesty, morality, human relationships, and self-discipline. If, for example, the mother is a serious Catholic, there is no real conflict between what the father would communicate to the child and what the mother would teach. Following is a list of chapters that might be referred to and the lesson in each: ZNTROUUCTZON: The book is a lesson in chronological Bible history. CHAPTER 2: "A Beautiful Garden" Used to introduce very young child to the animal kingdom and to teach basic lessons in biology. Note that,all the animals in the picture are in pairs, and they have babies. Allows introduction of such basic subjects as reproduction. CHAPTER 5: "A Hard Life Beginsv Child can be introduced to the value of respect and obedience to authority, whether parental or community, e.g. police and courts. CHAPTER 19: "Jacob Has a Big Family" Child is introduced to the concept that producing a family is an honor and a privilege. Emphasizes unselfishness exhibited in production of a large family. Families contribute to growth of community and nation. CIIA PZIER 20: "Dinah Gets into Trouble" Introduces child to the dangers of associating with immoral and dishonest persons. Teaches morality at an early age without specifics. Aversion to sexual abuse of women and discrimination. C'IIAPllER 37: "A Tent for Worship" This chapter shows that child is taught respect for a house of worship and all the equipment and material used in the house of worship. Child is taught respect for altar and priests. CHAPTER 44: "Rahab Hides the Spies" Child learns that we do not refuse to help people or show kindness to people even though we do not approve of what they do. Rahab was a prostitute. CHAPl7ER 51: "Ruth and Naomi" No better lesson in family loyalty and teaching child value of respect for older persons and responsibility to help senior citizens. RESUMES OF BIBLE STORY BOOK CHAPTER 55: "A Little Boy Serves God" Very young children can learn respect for religious service, respect for God, and for legitimate priesthood. (Use the picture.) CHAPTER 63: "Wise King Solomon" (Use the picture.) What an illustration of the value of judicial wisdom and family love. Builds respect for modern-day judiciary. The mother would rather give up the child than have him injured. In terms that a very young child can understand. Also shows that wisdom is better than materialism. CHAPTER 71: "God Promises a Paradise" This is what the child is being taught to look forward to. Is it bad? Gives hope and optimistic future in a world where many turn to suicide. CZIAPI'ER 75: "Four Boys in Babylon" Teenagers do not have to give in to pressure from their peers. The old virtues and basics are worth standing up for. CZJAPl'ER 77: "They Would Not Bow Down" (Sequel to chapter 75.) Children learn that there is a time in life to be firm for right principles. CHAPTER 84: "An Angel Visits Mary" R ~ S U MOF~ B IBLE STORY BOOK CHAPTER 85: "Jesus Born in a Stable" Child is taught respect for the circumstances of Jesus' birth. (Use the picture.) Child learns the real value of the birth and life of Jesus without ir~fluencef rom commercialism. Who can object? CHAP'I'ER 86: "Men Guided by a Starw Same points. (Use the picture.) CIIAPTER 94: "IIe Loves Little Children" Jesus used children to teach lessons of flexibility, humility, and respect. Children can understand this better than adults. CIiAPI'ER 95: "The Way Jesus Teaches" Who can object to a child learning the story of the Good Samaritan? It is universally respected. We even have "Good Samaritan" hospitals in some locations. Child learns history and background of a very common expression as well as the lesson in human responsibility that is taught. Learns racial discrimination to be shunned. C'IIAPTER 99: "In an Upstairs Room" Jesus introduced the Last Supper. Respected by most religions, including Catholicism. Why shouldn't a child learn the history of its origin? CHAPTER 11 0: "Timothy-Paul's New Helper" The ministry is a respected and honorable profession. RBSUMB OF BIBLE STORY BOOK CHAPI1ER 11 5: "A New Paradise on Earth" (Use the picture.) This is what the child is taught to look forward to. SAMPLE DIltEC'r EXAMINATION AND SAMPLE RESPONSES FOR YOUNG WI I'NESSES 40 DIRECT EXAIIIINATION & RESPONSES FOR YOUNG WITNESSES a What is your name? a How old are you? a Where do you live? a Are you one of Jehovah's Witnesses? a When did you become one of Jehovah's Witnesses? a Do you have any brothers or sisters? a Are they Jehovah's Witnesses? a How is your relationship with them? a Tell us something about your father and mother: Are they Jehovah's Witnesses? If not, what religion? What are their occupations? I f Married: a Is your husband/wife one of Jehovah's Witnesses? a Are his/her parents Jehovah's Witnesses? a What are their occupations? a What is your relationship with them? a IIow is your relationship with your parents? a IIotv old were you when your mother/father became one of Jehovah's Witnesses? a IIavcl you therefore been exposed to different religious views? a Can you tell us how this has affected you? (IIeljWd to understand other views; he tolerant; ;tpp~.~ciadteiv ergenre of opinions; respcct for other religions; listen to other people's co~nments;in general to be a more fulfilled and balanced person, etc.) DIRECT EXAMINATION & RESPONSES FOR YOUNG WITNESSES 8 Did you find that this difference of religion was confusing to you? 8 Did it cause you any problems? 8 IIow Iias your association with Jehovah's Witnesses affected your life? 8 Did it help you avoid any problems? (Corn~n~rnetg arding positive ways association with Jellovah's Witnesses has helped; to have a purpose in life; to help other people; to be good citizcrls; good morals; be selective as to conduct, company, etc.) 8 What do you do for recreation? 8 What ahout social activities? 8 What about fanlily activities? 8 How did you do in school? 8 Did you have any problems? 8 Did you get along with other students? 8 'I'he fact that you are one of Jehovah's Witnesses, do you feel that hindered your situation? 8 What are your plans for the future? DIRECT EXAMINATION & RESPONSES FOR YOUNG WITNESSES EVI1)ENCE OF YOUNG PEOPLE: This can he used to show that they nre normal. Identify and interview young people frorri local cot~g-regationsw ho hake heeri raised as Jehovah's Wit ~ i ~ s saersid , in tllci cy cs of the preciding okrcrseer, are splr*ltuail> r-riindeci hilt also elljoh the ~iormal healthy things that young people (lo. Tiicy don't have to bc. competitive to enjoy sports. Re careful that they don't gct tilt. inlpl~ession that they arc in a (lemonstration at the circuit assembly, 11 hen they would show that the first things in life are s~rvicea nd going to the I<ingtlom Flail. Sl~owh ol3bies. crafts, social actilitj, sports, arirl vspccially plans for the. future. Be careful they don't all say that tile) are going to 1 1 p~io neers. Plans can be t raric, g ~ tintg married and having children, jour~nalism,

111(1 till kinds of other tliings. Mabbe you can show an

i!ltt.r.est in art and tlie theater. 'They nlust be clean, ~iior.all, ~onesth, ut with tlie intcrests that you would expect from other yourig people. I{ctr7cJ ~ j o i (1 ~C;X~'I)OS1P(! to ciifl~rcProtector of the Truthellti gio~~ijsie zr:ss illcc youth Ilozi, has this agr~ctr-'dy ou? L,ear.~icdt o be tolclrant and appreciate diver.gc~ire of opinions; nliiile persotlally clioosing teachings of ,Jehovah's Witnesses, have learned to respect otliers' right of choice. Co~nmtlnt on positive value of trutli; have a purpose in life; taltc interest in other people; good morals; obey the law, etc. Do yolc go ,fi.onz ? ? ~ ~ ~ r s ~ - t o -Dl te(sczre.i?l)e your reaction. I.:i~~c:\tiorl;\il; ~ l u cof social co~itac't;1 e;lr.n h o ~ vto 111eet pcuple, str-iltc up 2 conve~~satioann d ~.easo~l on a variety of topics. At an early date learned DIRECT EXAhZlNATlON & RESPONSES FOR YOUNG WITNESSES a1)out the Inany different views people have. Aleetilig p t o p l ~a t doors overcame shyness and lack of ronfidencbe. Ease of dealing with people is valuable now in business as well as religious and social activities. Is it not tiepressing when you nre rejected at a door? No. We liave sonietliing good to sl~arew ith those who want to listen. E;~oll individual has the right to his opinion. If rejected, we can leave and find sonieorie who does want to talk a few doors away. Are ?tot tllr~e9 -eligiolis ~rz~etingn sw eek boring? No. Mc63tings nre interesting. Participate in 'l'heoc-rntic illinistry Scliool and learn how to talk to ptoplc. Associate wit11 otller young people at 111ct.tiligs. Rlnlte social and recreational arrangements. Il'lltrf do you do for reel-eation, sociul activities, family activities? Describe a balanced range of activity. liozo (lid ?/oli do in sc.hool? Did yo?^ llnve any problems? Dirt ?/mi g ~ntlo ng ?(li111 o t h s~t~~ide nts?L lid yo?ir clssoc'itrtion with Jehovalt's Witnesses hinder your edlicnt ion? Not at all; Itept rlie out of trouble with the drug srenc, iln~norality,i llegit inlate cliildren, shoplifting, etc. I le1pt.d me take a mature view of the need for an educ;ltion so I could do something useful and interesting with my life. LIST OF SOUItCE MATEItIAL Professional Studies it2 Ci~ildP sgcltologg 4 5 PROFESSIONAL STUDIES IN CHILD PSYCIiO1,OGY 1. E'rrud, Clzild Obse~vntionsn nd 1'1,ediction of Vez~c~lop)r1tc,w 1 3 Psychoa~lalgitc Study of the Child 92, 97, 98 (1958) (emphasis added): I f ?c7trEs I U SI<~? is1 li))lx~Z~fU I ~dO?, ~z.0(1i1 7' ~rttcntion to t ? t ~ho pclcss)1cs.s r!f such clinict~,lf i)?~esiyihnt ~ryhrrt Ilc htrrl tlcsc?.il)ctl 0.7 thc .first phcrse of 1is:jc~l~ocznrlZgIcich ild ~)s~ycltologIyt'.l tile we knew no ?)~o?ocf tlte p.~dcsti?t~aPdr ]iicnces of tlc~~cloli??tzh~tr)n~ tth r. 1il)idinnl 2)htrse.s and "some o lrcaitrl co?tflicts trnd t:/picttl clnnger sitztntions I rlrrt(.rl to thc ntnt?rl trtio?ltrl scr~ltcnce" (p.279, 1i?cclic-tioI~c7 tr.s nof possil)lc. 1'?1~?~wce:r e too 1)1(171?/ 10?7f?lol(j'()1l ('1o?.s 7('??i('1d1~ tcl.)?tinedth e o~rlco?,?ocf t71c~h ild's ?.fvrctio?zst o 1tis r>.rl)ci,c?w ccs rzntl tlrcir genetic, economic, rrnd tl.tj)ftr?)ziic? ~tt~).~clcltio. ?. l.s 7. '11c:l.?~ -~l~znni n n!t?111)(c~!?f.f (rcto?.Y 1cJ1ic.h ?)tctkc?c li?lictzlf o?'csight, i.c., 217 ctlict ion, dific~tlttr ncl I~rrxnrdo1i.s.1 na~ne three of tlicm 1ie1-e.( 1) '1'11~1-ies no guarantee that the rate of maturational progress on tlie side of ego clc\elopnle~ita nd drive dm-eloprnent will an men one; and wllenever one side of tlie s t r l ~ c ~ t ~oiurtcd ista~ic~thse other in growth, a vat-iety of unexpected and unpreclictable tlel-iations from the norm will follo~v.( 2) 'I'hcre is still no ~vajl,o approach the quantitative factor ill c l r . i \ - ~c lc\~elop~nctn~otr, to foresee it; hut niost of tht conflict solutions within the personality will, i l l the last resort, be rletcrnlined by q~ra~ltitntil-rca ther than hy qualitative factors. (3) 1'1?((~7 )t~)i),o?1))1~? !?i?1 ]t1(r2li fiu~g~. 7 in a clzild's lifil ?(?illr r11c5tr!/n7 ,o)lni)l? o~p?ctZicttsblsein ce they are not governed by any known laws. 2. 'I'lio~llas & Clicss, f:cnc>sis rr?ltl Evo2?ition c!f Hc4tnviortrl Viso~ricrsl:; '?.o?)Iz? tjitncy to En?-lyA dzclt Life, 141 Am. J. Psychiatry 9 (1984): 11.; WP gl.on. frorll chil~ilioodt o nit~turity,a ll of us have to shed Inany childl~ood illusions. As the field of developmental studies has matured, PROFESSIONAL STUDIES IN CHILD PSYCHOLOGY we now have to givc up the illusion that once we know the young child's psychological history, subsequent personality and functioning is ipso facto predictable. 3. .T. Zisltin, Coping zoitlt I?s,ychitxt?ic nlid P.s~~chologicn1 l'c~,s2i~~1o1rz0y4, , 105 (2d ed. Supp. 1977) (emphasis added) : 7'11~p icli~7-(c>o ?t~~rl~~i.c).iligtt l)ilitj/c rnd z)nlidity of ps?/cliittt?.ica ~td~ )syclzologiccrcl ~~nliitrtio?~~ 1.r?,lni7z.sg ),im, e ~ ~ilrl ~rt!g (r)ldo c.li?zictrl ~iactgca, let trlonf~th e 7)lor'e rigoroti.~? .t~prci,) ?)lclzl.sf or use i?i evidence. 1'1zc: c~i?*?(?1?ittcI~ raf1i17.-cc flects ~oidcspretrdn g?,ecr)~el1l1t1 c1t reliability and validity are unacceptably llozu. 4. 11. Scliaflc~~'I.',h e Grozotl~o f Sociability 15-17 (emjlhasis added): 1'trl.c-721s nzts,~/lj c? .fl?*nz1.c1o/ n~?inc.ctfil tnt tlzr p(1l'tic1ilare zperiences ~ncolintr~).e1%c ? their l)(tl)y z(-ill nwrk liim .for good or ill for the last of Itis li.fi: but zuhe~I~A I ~t wn to sclie?zl(fics 1il)port for tlzis asscrtio?z tltc7.e is as .yet not n si?zgla stzccty at7aiktble zo7~iclz. fir?nl?jn nci wilhottt antbiguity clc~?to~t.str~zt7ezstast ct specific ex])o.icszce inil'izging trl orle pa?*tic~tZapro int 0.f tinzc in ect?,lyh zinznn devc~lop?t~cu?llitll lctt;?c~ ) C T ' T T I ( U ! C ~ ~ c;ni.cts on 11t(lt indi~iri~~Btrilr,t l~t ?.nlc?)?nb,r east 0 7 , 7)otllc. fc?c:tii?igt,y pe of toilet 2 ?,cli?zing, slotcddling 2~rttcIicc.s-zc~htrtct1l~w~ir~. e. flbcts nt tlze tinle, the Ittsting i7tzprint of sltch cvcnts 71as ?tot bcen denzonst7.trtecl. The aphorism that the cllild is father to the lnan remains an article of faith rather than a scientifically supported conclusion. l;C7?1(ttt re the forces that conte to slz(zp43 iqf(l?lt 71cl1avioz~?N.?e re we find one of the major issues that has divided psyclzologists in tlte past into, PROFESSIONAL STUDIES IN CHILD PSYCHOLOGY on the one hand, those who see the child as essentially an inert blob of clay that must be niouldcd by forces impinging upon hirn from the ellvironment and, on the other hand, those who consider tlie child preformed and look upon developnlent as largely an unfolding of inherent tendencies. It is ensy to assert that heredity and environmenl ?rtit.st both play a part and there are .fc~uw ho 1r7olrZd go trgtrinst .r?tclz n safe vieztpoint. l - ~itn p~~.trclticea,n d pnrtictilnrly so in relation to ~(17.1.11d ~ve1~)117)1ZI~ICnf itn, d the divergence of opinion a real and ofton a heated one. 5. Chcss, Dnt~clop?nentclZl l?lco~Rye zisited, 26 Can. J. Psychiatry 110, 1 11 (1979) (emphasis added): 771c. trc:climltltation of ~eaen~cdlnzt n in recent yccl~s hr1.r 1)y now ntnde it clew tllntt our "intrbility to nltrke elnpi~'icn1p redictions about l(llcr pv..~ontzlitgf 7'o?n the en1.1y~c rtrs" is indeed "c?~idcncocf n dProtector of the Truthclopmentcrr~Ztr lity." 7'11ese tltr 1 (r Iltr I 7e co71ta nto.rt t7rnntalically from the ~ncrjorl ongit~ctlinals t~itlies-the type of stzidy zc,hich is 1cnirpie7?/ suited to examine the issue of continztity ozwr time. The same message 7zas co?nn from all (5-7, 12), reqfirrning the findings of o~iro ton Zotlqitz.tdincc1 ~tudiesS. imilar concltisio?zsh tsve come .f~onath e two n~njor co~np.eilensi~re~veie zua of the recent literature by Santeroff (9) and Clarke and Clarke (2). ll?te drrln oHer no .fis.nz stcpport for the popular 11elief that ccrtnin events dz~ring the Prst yc(w c(1n ~)~.o(lzric7e~ )*eversiblceo nscqwences in either human or ittji-ahuman infants (5). 6. Ellswortli & Levy, Legislative Refom of Cltild Custody Adjudication, 4 L. Soc'y Rev. 199 (1969): In general, studies show no clear advantage for PROFESSIONAL STUDIES IN CHILD PSYCHOLOGY trained judges; psychologists are not consistently better or worse than nonpsychologists (e.g., secretaries, college students, nurses), and clinical training and experiences does not improve the accuracy of global judgnlents. If anything, clinical training and experience may he somewhat detrin~ental and reduce judgment a1 accuracy, or at least introduce systematic biases such as greater emphasis on pathology and less favoral)le prognoses. [ Mischel, 1968: 116; see also Sarbin et al. 19401. 7. De~ving & ?'aft, Sonzc Pc?.sonalit?j C'ltnrncteristics of thr. Z>r~?.enytfs Crenlizw 7'welve-year-olds, 41 J. Personality 81, 82 (1973): A second dernog~~aphvica riat~lef ound to he related to creative ability was unusual religious t~elief.I n particular, a disproportionately large number of highly creative children were Jehovah's Witnesses. Four children from the total sample of 394 were members of this sect, and all four showed high creative ability. The girl who gained the highest total score on the Torrance tests, and the girl who was the only child, male or felnale, to be included in the top 20 percent of all five performance measures, were both Jehovah's Witnesses. 8. Sanua, Religion, Me7lttr7 Fietzlth and Pe?'.(;onnZit?A/: Review of Empirical Studies, 125 Am. J. Psychiatry 1206 (1969): What may be said at this point is that a substantial rirllnher of aclditional empirical findings would be necessary before ally valid conclusions could be drawn as to the relationship between religiousness and mental health. PROFESSIONAL STUDIES IN CHILD PSYCHOLOGY 9. F'I-itleres, Qfls21?.ing of Jewislt I?ttemarriage: A Note, 35 Jewish Soc. Stud. 156 (1973): The results concerni~ig the remaining dependent va~*i:ll)lessh ow that little difference is evident hetween children of nixed and honlogarnous nlarriag~s'.I 'lle data relevant to this point does not su\)sta 11t iat e p~~eviouress earch which suggcstcd that children from mixed marriages would 1)e more psychologically "unstable" than children from homogamous marriages. 10. Z,y~ic.h,1 71in.c7rl Mtr~~).ingicns ill(-: A.ftei.??~nothf "Mtrt?.i?)lo)licnrl ixta", 11 J . Ecumenical Stud. 653 (1974) (emphasis added): Both ptrrel1t.s sllo1rltl nctive2.y pnrficipnte in the ? c~lifgioicsi cl)l)ri,tgingo f t h c~hi ldren and not view tlrt. 1-c.sl1o?lsihili2n.ys ow of pns8ive "?lo??-i)lt~):fi'i~c?P1rc?ctl.n"g ogicnlly ns ~ ( ~u1s 1 l)trsto?.trlly tlze conlhinecl! rc?7ifgious influence of hot71 pnrenta is most important. J 1. R. Mnooki~iC, 'lliltl-Gztstotly R@jztdicntion: .J~cdicitzZ F'lcnctions in the Face of Indeterminacy, Vol. 39, No. 3, 1975: Wliile psychiatrists and psychoanalysts have at tinics heen enthusiastic in claiming for tll~~iiselvethse largrst possi1)le role in custody proceedings, lllally have voncedtd that their theories provicl~ no relial)le guide for prcrlictions ahout ~vliati s likely to happen to a particular cliild. Anna F'rt~ud,~ v l ~haos devoted her life to ttie slutfy of the child and who plainly believes that tlleo~yc an t)e :I useful guide to treatnient, has ~varncci:" In spite of . . . atlva~icest here remain factors wl1ic.h malre c.li11ical foresight, i.e., predirtion, tfiflicwlt ha7artlous," not the least of wllicli is that "e~lvir.o~)rne~hltaaplp enings in a child's life will always remain unpredictable since they are not governed by any known laws." PROFESSIONAL STUDIES IN CHILD PSYCHOLOGY The difficulty of making accurate predictions is shown clearly by a study undertaken by Joan Mncfarlane and her associates in Berkeley, California. Using various tests and interviews, the Berkeley group, dul.ing a thirty-year period, studied a group of 166 infants born in 1929. Their ol~jectivew as to obsetBvet he growth --enlotional, mental, and physical-of normal people. As Arlene Skolnick observed, "Over the years this study has generated several significant research fi~idingsh, ut the most surprising of all was the difficulty of predicting ~viiat thirty-year-old adults would be like even after the t~iosts ophisticated data had been gathered on them as children." PREPARATION FOR PSYCHOLOGICAL OR PSYCHIATRIC EVALUATION PREPARATION FOR PSYCHOLOGICAL OR PSYClIIATRIC EVALUATION Today the courts rely more and more on the evaluations and recomnieridations of psychologists and psychiatrists in determining the best interest of a child. The process of psychological or psychiatric evaluation may be relevant to the issue of whether the religious teachings and beliefs of Jehovah's'Witnesses have any harmful effect on children. Therefore, there is a growing likelihood that both spouses as well as the children will receive some type of psychological evaluation, whether at the insistence of the court or at the suggestion of an attorney in preparing evidence to present the case. The objective of this discussion is to help you understand and prepare for a psychiatric or psychological evaluation. In the past many have feared or distrusted mental health care professionals. There is no basis or need for such preconceived fear or distrust. Keep in mind that the primary objective of the court proceeding and the psyc:hological or psychiatric examination is to determine which parent is best suited to provide the child a secure and safe home. Therefore, certain matters must be kept clearly in mind: 1. 110 not be uncluly defensive or sl~spiciouso f the health care profcssional's role in the evaluathn process. Many people who work in psychology and psychiatry have an interest in people and care about people. They give their subjects the benefit of the doubt. You should assume that they will try to put your best interests Arst if you cooperate with them. Try not to respond in a defensive or hostile manner. The mental health care professional with whom you are working has a job to do. Cooperate with him and he will try to cooperate with you. 2. Everyone has had problems or difficulties in C11eir past and no one comes from a perfect background. When questioned about difficult areas or problems in the past, be honest arid frank. Try to siiow how the truth has helped you to overcome psychological scars or problems, but do not exaggerate or paint the truth in an unrealistic light, claiming that all your problems have gone away I'REPARAT10N FOIL PSYCIIOLOGICAL OR PSYCHIATRIC EVALUATION si~ic-yeo 11 have lear+nedB ible principles. Show how Ril~lep t,inc.iples are lielping you to cope with your prol~lc~~annds present them in an honest, objective manner. 3. I)o not use the ~)syclritar ic session as an opportr~nitt~o prcst-lit 13ihle literati~rea nd itncss aboi~tt1 1c Kingdom hope. The health care profcssio~ial sclectcd to evaluate you and your fa~riily has :1n olljcc$tice in niind. If c30urt appointed, he is rerl~~il,cttol prt>sct~hti s fintlingc: to tlie court and you will w8nt to tiialre it casy for hi111 to do liis job. The psj c~hologits is p~,ol~at)nlyo t ititt~rcstedi n the Bible pt*iti(liplc~tsh at g~liclc.y our life. Itather, lie is intcrcstc~di l l u~lderstanclingh ow yo11 are applq ing F3it)lr pr-inoiples in your home in order to procluce a hcnlthy and well-halanced environ~nenitn which to raise tlic clhild. 111 sonie rircumstances it may be appt.oj)tsiate for you to share your hope atlout God's I<irigdom during all i~iter*viewh, ut you slioul(1 not ~ l t n k cit~ y otrr ol),jectivc to preach to tlie nlental health care professional who conducts the interview. 4. Sl~(t\vt l ~ 3t01 1 Ilnve a bl~la~ic.cvdie \\: and that tiif. truth Iias hc1jn:d you to maintni~su~c h a vicn7. Do not present yourself or tlie truth as rigid or ol~st~ssi\-Rfa~t.h er, show the evaluator that you are a reasori;lt~le pcrsoti by sliowing your flexibility and resl)olldi~igi n an open atid no~idcfensiveI ilanrier. For cxa~nplcc,l uestiori5 about religious practices such as not cclct)~*ati~hoigli clt~ysm ill be a part of the ps~.c.tiologic-aIc xan~intlito n. The nlelit;~lh ealth prnfcs~iorinlw ill t ~ ein ter,~stetlin determining 11o\v J ou, as ;I good pa~~etiftia, tidle this practice with your cliil(l. I I c will want to knonr whether ot. not you are sc~nsilivcl to tlie fart tliat your clhilcl may feel ~ t ~ i ~ ~ sltufta ol u, t, or alienated by what may be a recent change in your religion. You nrill want to take the i~litiativeb y showing that you llavc a rlose anti a loving bond with your cliilrl, that you ~ ~ ~ l d e r s t aynoudr child's ho~lest reactions to your religious practices, that you have helped your child to develop a sense of security PREPARATION FOR PSYCHOLOGICAL OR PSYCHIATRIC EVALUATION about the practice of his religion, and that he is not merely parroting the expressions that you have provided for him. If your child is to be tested, you should also try to prepare him or her to face the experience with an open and positive attitude. 5. If you do not understancl a question, ask for cltirification. If you are aslted a question you do not understand or if you feel that the interviewer is getting at something other than what is stated, you shoultl calrrlly ask the evaluator to restate or rephrase the question so that you may provide an accurate answer. 6. Yo11 may lw asked qucstiorls al)out your reft~snl to take bloori or blood products. You nlay he rluestioned about ivlletller you would permit your child to die because of your refusal to consent to a blood transfusion. Itather than just explaining your hope in your child's resurrection ill God's new world and deemphasizing the importance of your child's life in this system, show a balanced view and state in positive tertns the nicdical steps that you would take to assure the cl~ild had the best possible medical troalnlent available. Be prepared to discuss with the ev:iluator specific alternative medical treatments which would be available to the child if some doctor was of the opinion that blood was needed. You do not want to give the inlpression that your religion rcquires you to allow your child to die should a medical emergency arise. 7. Wll:tt is not sttit1 is often :IS inlportant as what is said. Rernenll~er to maintain goocl eye contact with your evaluator. Sit up straight and try to relax as you speak with the evaluator. Act as if you were speaking to sorneone in whom you could cotltide. Ilse a calm and measured tone of voice. Put expression and feeling into your voice so that you are able to communicate in an honest and natural way. Do not feel intirilidated by your evaluator but try to put your evaluator at ease. PREPARATION FOR PSYCHOLOGICAL OR PSYCHIATRIC EVALUATION 8. You are on display as one of Jellovah's Witnesses. When appearing for the evaluation reniernber to he punctual and to dress in an appropriate manner, a manner befitting a minister of Jehovah. Since the health care professional is trained to do this type of evaluation, to the degree reasonable allow him to ask the questions and do not try to control or restructure the interview. Not every question has a hidden meaning. You do not want to present yourself as one who is paranoid or afraid to communicate honestly. 111 addition to a conversational, clinical evaluation, you may he asked to take certain psycliological tests wliich are designed to help the evaluator understand your personality and your ability to care for the best interests of the child. There are a variety of tests which may be used. Some tests focus on your intelligence and thiriking ability. 'I'he Wechsler Intellige~lceT est appears to be a widely administered test. The Wechsler test is a series of tests and may be used for adults as well as childr.en over the age of four. In addition to testing intelligence, this series of tests may also be used to nieasure the examinee's ability to formulate ideas and overall intelligence. Other types of tests are designed to categorize the type of personality. A colnrnonly used test is the Elorscliach Test. It uses ink blots. The examinee will be shown a series of ink blots and will be asked to describe what they look like, or what the examinee thinks they tnight he. 'I'here are no right or wrong answers. Ilowev~ri,f you have a defensive or hostile attitude about taking thc exam, this attitude may influence the findings. Your responses will be recorded and scores, ratings, and inter.pretations will he derived therefrom. ?'his test is used for adults as well as children of school agc. Othtr tests involve use of pictures or diagrams, wo~*ads sociations, sentence completion, or expressive drawings. Oftcn inore objective tests arid sca!es are used. For example, the Mi~inesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory (MMPI) is widely used to test for certain personality traits. It consists of about 550 statements and PREPARATION FOR PSYCHOLOGICAL OR PSYCHIATRIC EVALUATION it calls on the examinee to answer "true," "false" or "cannot say." The topics include family relationships, sexual and religious attitudes as well as fears and problems within the family. The interpretation of the examinee's MMPI score will take into consideration the examinee's background, ethnic group, sex, age, and education. Keep in mind that the objective of a psychological or psychiatric evaluation is to determine whether or not you are the parent who will provide the better home for your child. The mental health professional is interested in determining whether or not you have the personality and emotional stability to provide for the physical, mental, and emotional needs of your child. You must be prepared to show in a positive, honest and frank manner that you will provide for your child's welfare and best interests and that you are the parent more capable of doing so. Do not be quick to attack your former spouse. Rather, be prepared to show and present in an honest way the loving and caring concern you have for your child and the way in which you are able to express this to the child. Show that you have already developed a close, loving relationship with your child and that there is nothing in your personality or religious practices that would require the child not to be placed in your custody. COPING WITH PSYCHIATRIC EVALUATION To help you understand how the foregoing general principles can be applied, the followirlg examples of questions and answers are provided to assist you in a psychological or psychiatric evaluation. As indicated, a person being evaluated should not be unduly defensive or suspicious of the health care professional's role in the evaluation process. You would want to answer any questions openly, understanding that it is the role of the ~nentalh ealth care professional to elicit information fro~ny ou. The following is an example of how NOT to respond during the interview: Q: Can you tell me about why you and your ex-husband divorced? PREPARATION FOR PSYCHOLOGICAL OR PSYCHIATRIC EVALUATION A: Why do you want to know? I know he's probably been spreading those lies about me. You're probably going to take his side anyway. Q: Well, no. Rut your husband mentioned that your religious beliefs have been a source of differences. Can you tell me a little bit about your religious beliefs? A: You know, you psychiatrists don't even believe in the Bible. You're always negative against someone who practices the Bible. Matthew said we'd he persecuted by persons like you. Besides, you psychiatrists are more mixed up than anyone. I hear you get more divorces and commit suicide more than anyone else. Q: I don't know if I agree with all that. But I would like to know more about your religious beliefs. A: Well, I'm glad you asked. I've got my Bible Iiere and I'd like to read you these scriptures. Also, I brought several articles from T72e Watchtower, the Rensoning book and this Blood booklet. Here-take all of these and you can learn what the Bible says. Q: Okay. Your husband says here that you don't believe in celebrating Christmas. A: It's right here in the Rewsoning book about holidays. Just read it. If you celebrate Christmas, it's a lie. Christ was not born on December 25. We're not liars, so we don't lie to our children. I don't know if you lie to your kids, do you? I can't believe how people lie to their children. Did you know that Christmas gifts cause depression in children? Honest, direct, and nondeferlsive responses give a clear and accurate picture. ?'he examiner does not expect that you have had a perfect life. Obviously, there have been some problems or rocky areas in your life. 'I'herefore, you should feel free to talk about these situations objectively and with confidence. Here is an example to help you see the difference from the preceding interview: PREPARATION FOR PSYCHOLOGICAL OR PSYCHIATRIC EVALUATION Q: When did you get married to John? A: I married him when I was just 19 years old. I was glad to get out of the house, and I really thought I loved him when we were married. Q: Oh, I see. And how long did the marriage last? A: We were married for 10 years. It wasn't a good marriage right from the start. Q: What do you mean by that? A: We were never close. I was young, and he was young. There was a lot of arguing and fighting about everything. When we had a child, things got worse. Neither one of us were ready for being parents, especially him. Q: And what (lo you mean when you said 'he wasn't ready for being a parent'? A: For the first six months he rarely even held Lisa. He would stay out late at night because she cried a lot. You know, I really think he loves Lisa now, but he rarely showed her much attention when we were together. Q: I see. And what brought about the end of the marriage? A: When he had an affair, I just couldn't take it anymore. He claims I drove him to it by becoming one of Jehovah's Witnesses. He was always highly critical of my beliefs and even became outwardly hostile at times. I think he was just using my religion as an excuse. When I wouldn't take him back, he wanted to get back at me by trying to take custody of my Lisa. Q: And why do you think he was so critical of your beliefs? A: Well, doctor, I'm not a psychiatrist, but I think he was insecure about my sincere and dedicated interest in the Bible. He always seemed to feel I would lose interest in him and not have PREPARATION FOR PSYCHOLOGICAL OR PSYCHIATRIC EVALUATION respect for his opinions. He claimed I tried to force religion on him. But that's not true. He has the right to his own opinions. He claimed I was always going to meetings, reading the Bible, and talking with people about the Bible. You know, it's true that my religious activities occupied more of my time, but I feel I was balanced. Q: And what do you mean, you felt you were balanced? A: As one of Jehovah's Witnesses, I learned that I had to be balanced in caring for the needs of my family. I really tried to be a better wife by showing him more kindness and love. I tried to have the house cleaned and food on the table when I attended my meetings. I didn't neglect him as he claims, but rather, I improved. Unfortunately, it seemed that the harder I tried to be a better wife, the worse he got. It seemed that my being a better person was overshadowed by being one of Jehovah's Witnesses. I don't want to give you the impression I was perfect. I made my mistakes. But I really feel I tried. And I don't want to sound like he's all bad. In fact, he was a very good provider. Around the house he was very helpful in axing and repairing things. You know, underneath his critical feelings about my religious beliefs, I always felt that he was very sensitive but he just couldn't show it. I don't love him anymore. But I do feel compassion for him. I'm really angry and hurt that he would try to get back at me by taking my Lisa and saying I'm a religious fanatic. Yoti know, doctor, I really think there's more to it than just the religion. A court will be interested in examining your religious beliefs. A popular issue raised when one mate is not one of Jehovah's Witnesses is the fact that Jehovah's Witnesses do not celebrate holidays like Christmas and birthdays. You must be prepared to respond to this issue in an honest and direct manner. The psychologist will want to know whether your children are actually damaged or hindered by your religious convictions. This PREPARATION FOR PSYCHOLOGICAL OR PSYCHIATRIC EVALUATION presents a fine opportunity for you to show that your religious beliefs are not detrimental to your child's well-being. Rather, when viewed in the proper perspective, comparing the love and affection you offer your child and the other opportunities for enjoyable times as a family, the lack of celebration of holidays such as Christmas and birthdays poses no serious threat to the child's well-being. Q: I noticed from the report your spouse claims you don't allow your child to celebrate holidays like Christmas and birthdays. A: That's true. We don't participate in these holidays because they're not accurately based on the Bible. For example, Christ was not born on December 25, but in the fall of the year. When viewed realistically, how could there have been shepherds in the fields in the wintertime? We believe that our children should not be told that Santa Claus exists when it's just not true. You know, I'm aware that my child might feel left out, so I make an extra effort to compensate for not celebrating Christmas. I'm not opposed to giving gifts; in fact, I regularly give gifts to Lisa all year round. And more important than material things, I feel that I show Lisa a lot of love. I try to build a really close relationship with her by spending a lot of time with her. You know, doctor, my ex-husband claims that by not celebrating those holidays our child is going to be psychologically damaged. But if that were really so, what about the millions of Orientals and Africans who also don't celebrate these holidays? I just can't believe that they're going to be psychologically damaged by not celebrating Christmas. Q: Yes, that's true. You mentioned that you try to show extra interest and love to Lisa. Can you elaborate on what you do? A: There are many times when we just sit and talk. Lisa likes to come in after school and discuss her day with me. When she brings home a school project that she's really proud of, I try to stop what I'm doing and praise her. I also like to include her in PREPARATION FOR PSYCHOLOGICAL OR PSYCHIATRIC EVALUATION some of the household duties like cooking, sewing, and things like that. It gives me an opportunity to teach her things. I really enjoy being with her. Also, I really try to build her self-esteem and encourage her in her artwork. You know, she really has potential. Sonietinles she gets discouraged because she wants to do better. So I encourage her. Q: Yes. Very interesting. Is there anything else? A: Well, that's about it. Wait-there is one Inore thing. I do spend time studying the Bible with her. I feel it's i~nportant hat she learn something about Jehovah God. Q: And what do you teach your child in these Bible studies? A: I try to teach her about some fundamental principles like honesty and why it is important. Also, we study ahout showing love to others, being kind, forgiving, and things like that. Al~ove all, the mental health care professional will want to know what type of relationship you have with your child. You want to communicate the fact that your religious beliefs have helped you to beconle a better parent. You will want to show that a Christian parent is <sapable of providing for the emotiorlal and physical ncetls of tlie child, as well as the child's spiritual needs. 'I'ake the opportunity to show that a warm, loving bond alreatly exists between you and your child, so that any disruption to this bond will be detrimental to the child. 'The mental liealth care professio~ial who is colld~ictingt lie interview may know very little about the religious teachings ant1 practices of Jehovah's Witnesses. 'T'herefore, you will want to use language and illustrations that will help the examiner to clearly understand the lifestyle of a Christian. You will want to present yourself as one who follows the teachings of the Scriptures, not as one who is dogmatic and a slave to rules. By reasoning, help the examiner to see that the course you have selected is a course of wisdom and PREPARATION FOR PSYCHOLOGICAL OR PSYCHIATRIC EVALUATION reason. The following dialogue is an example of how you might explain the fact that Christians attend five Bible-based meetings each week and are encouraged to devote additional time for personal Bible study: A: Well, Lisa generally comes with me. Our meetings are much like a classroom. We usually have someone giving a reading, a discussion about a Bible topic. We encourage all, young and old, to learn to really reason and think about a matter. Rather than just telling Lisa what to think, I encourage her to use her mind. As one of Jehovah's Witnesses, I feel that the Bible encourages us to use our God-given conscience. Q: Can you give me an example of that? A: Yes. You know God tells us to show love and kindness. Let's say that Lisa is out playing ball with another child, and she takes something that is not hers. I would reason with her about it, helping her to understand why it is wrong, rather than just punishing her or demanding that she be honest. It may sound simple, but as a parent, you know it is a very d i f i u l t process. I try my best. Q: Okay. And how often do you go to these meetings? A: We have five hours of meetings a week. To some, that may sound like a lot. But it's about the same number of hours a student would spend in one class at school a week. Jt's a relatively small number of hours if you think that there are 168 hours in a week. It's actually less than three percent. Like holidays and the celebration of Christmas, Jehovah's witnesses' position on the use of blood is controversial and is often raised as an issue of contention by an unbelieving mate. You want reasonably to stress the fact that you are not opposed to medical treatment. Rather, as a sound, thinking person, you desire to have medical treatment for your minor child in the event of a medical crisis. I-iowever, because of the Scriptural admonition regarding blood, and the many serious medical dangers associated with blood transfusions, you PREPARATION FOR PSYCHOLOGICAL OR PSYCHIATRIC EVALUATION want to show your reasonableness in the fact that you have already investigated medical alternatives to the use of hlood. You should be prepared to talk about these alter~iativesin some detail, showing that you are capable and prepared to care for the child's physical needs: Q: As one of Jehovah's Witnesses you don't believe in blood transfusions, do you? A: That's true. Our position on blood transfusions is primarily a religious one, but we also know there are many niedical dangers from blood. We take our positi(~7o n this issue from various scr.iptura1 refet'enc.cs, such as Acts 15:28, 29 and Leviticus 17: 13, 14. 'I'hese scriptures point out that we should avoid the use of blood in our bodies. I'm sure you, as a doctor, are already aware of the potential n ~ d i c ~caoln iplieations that can arise from blood tra~lsfusionss, uch as hepatitis and AIDS. Because of our stand, some feel that we refuse all ~netlical treatment. But this is just not true. We fully utilize ~nedic:al doctors. In the area of transfusions, ~vt!d o accept no11-t~luodv olume expanders such as saline solution, Ringer's lactate, dextrati, etc. I'erhaps you'd lilre to read at)out the ~nedic:al aspects of our stand. I have a copy of an article ttiat

~ppe:rred in l'hc Joic?*nnZ of the Ame?.icccn Mcdicd

Assoointion on this question of Jehovah's Witnesses and hlood tratisfusiolis. (Reproduced in the Awake! of June 22, 1982, pages 25-27.) Doctor, you might be reassured to know that I have made medical provisions to ensure that Lisa will receive proper medical attention if and when she 11eeds it. For f>xarnple, I have a doctor who has agreed to resg~cto ur views on hlood. Also, if an e~ne~-genschyo uld ,arise, I've made arrangements to have niy child tra~lsportedt o a hospital with doctors that specialize in surgery on Jehovah's Witnesses. Q: Thank you. That was very interesting. I'll take the article. To be honest with you, I don't know if I'll have time to read it. But I'll certainly try.