Tom Barnard

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Tom Barnard (previously on-air as Cat Man) is a radio talk show host. Barnard was born in northwest Minnesota and raised in Minneapolis.

He is currently the host of "The KQ Morning Show," which airs on KQRS-FM 92.5 from 5:30 to 9:20 AM Monday through Friday. Barnard and then partner Dan Culhane started the show, which featured sports reports from WCCO sports anchor Mark Rosen. At one point the team of Barnand and Culhane spearheaded a fairly successful write-in campaign to elect Rosen For Governor. Culhane and Rosen were eventually pushed out of the broadcast in a succession of personnel moves which also resulted in the departure of Tony Lee (popular soundman and producer) For years the broadcast has been the highest-rated morning radio show in Minnesota, and holds the distinction of the highest ratings of any morning show in a local market nationwide.

Before coming to KQRS Barnard worked at numerous stations including KSTP(AM). For most of the 1980s Barnard was the booth announcer for KSTP-TV.

With the recent introduction of the podcasting technology, the show has reached national and international audiences, but Barnard has allegedly rejected numerous offers to nationally syndicate the show. Regardless of the growth in his show's market, Barnard continuously assures listeners that "The Morning Show" will maintain its focus on the news, weather, sports, and traffic of the Twin Cities.

Although he has recently retired from voice-over work, for many years Barnards voice was heard in various markets, introducing shows and appearing on commercials. In 2006, he received a Marconi award for his broadcasting popularity.

Despite his enormous popularity in the Minneapolis-St. Paul area and fame from his voice-over career, Barnard is very reclusive, refusing virtually all media interviews and rarely making public appearances. However, the crew of the KQRS Morning Show does make an annual trip to Las Vegas in November, which brings in enough Minnesota fans of the show to fill an entire hotel.

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[edit] Politics

Barnard has affiliations with many politicians including Minnesota Senator Norm Coleman, Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty and is friends with variety of personalities from network news organizations.[citation needed] In the fall of 2002 Barnard made comments about the late Minnesota Senator Paul Wellstone, joking that he wished Wellstone would "drop dead." Barnard had felt that Paul Wellstone used controversy with the KQRS morning show for his own political gain. Barnard often quotes Wellstone as "my proudest moment ever was standing up to the KQ Morning Show". After the senator died in a small plane crash days before the 2002 senate election, Barnard came under fire by Star Tribune gossip columnist Cheryl Johnson, also known as "CJ," on his comments, and made an on-air apology several days after the election.

Independence Party Minnesota Governor, Jesse Ventura, was once a regular on the show. When he left to work for another radio station, Barnard would mock and make fun of him. He stopped shortly before the 1998 election and congratulated Ventura upon winning the governorship in 1998, but had a falling out with Barnard shortly after and is now the butt of numerous jokes.

Barnard, however, is far from being a typical conservative. For example, when Ann Coulter was on the show following the release of her book "Slander," the first words out of his mouth after the conclusion of the interview was "that woman is nuts."

[edit] Religious views

Barnard often states that he was raised Roman-Catholic and attended a religious school (St. Anne's in North Minneapolis) as a child. Despite these early roots he routinely criticises a wide gamut of religious beliefs on the show. Barnard claims he figured out the errors of Catholicism when he was about six years old. Whether this is the truth or merely hyperbole is anyone's guess. While he has explicitly stated that he is not on the radio to air his religious beliefs, based on his commentary over the years it can be assumed the he is either atheist or agnostic. During an October 10, 2006 discussion over the Pope Benedict XVI Islam controversy, Barnard repeatedly stated, "those are my beliefs: leave me alone!". During a February 15, 2007 broadcast he called the Bible a "2,000 page sleeping pill," which he agreed was true statement in a February 27, 2007 broadcast after learning of this quote on Wikipedia, falsely attributed as a quote from Homer Simpson, when actually it was said by the character Reverand Timothy Lovejoy. Barnard also states that he believes that all religions are basically the same, and often based upon silly myths and superstitions that creates fear in the people of any said religion in order to make them submit to the god of that religion.

[edit] Similarity to Howard Stern

Barnard's style is lightly reminiscent of Howard Stern's rude, crude, and sometimes profane radio schtick. However Howard Stern focuses more on stories involving sex and strippers, Barnard and his team focus on stories about current events, mixed with celebrity interviews accompanied by sound bites, and rants against social programs, college professors, and what he believes to be the liberal media. Barnard's popularity is one reason Stern's show failed to penetrate the Minnesota market, making a brief appearance on a rival classic rock station (100.3 FM).

[edit] Controversy

Barnard has been criticized by the local community for remarks that have been regarded as racist. In 1998, he angered Minnesota's large Hmong community for his comments (and the character Tak, whose delivery was in a mock-Asian accent) about a news story regarding the murder of a newborn baby by its 13-year-old Hmong mother. Despite the fact that the character Tak was actually voiced by Tony Lee, a former member of the KQRS morning show, Barnard apologized for the comments in early 1999. Despite this and other controversies, Barnard holds his ground, and refuses to apologize to his critics. Some fans say that he has toned down his antics recently in response to them. The KQ morning show enjoys a large internet following internationally and also is quickly picked up by many transplants who move to the Twin Cities from other parts of the country.

Barnard angered the Somali community in 1998 over remarks made following the murder of a Somali cab driver. The remarks came after news reports showed angry Somali men claiming that there is "no justice in America". Star Tribune columnist CJ quoted Barnard's comments which some believe inspired the rally. CJ has also been a critic of Barnard as well, often calling him "Tom Barn-yard." According to the hosts of the morning show, the demonstrators sped through streets, even speeding next to elementary school buses with their "stop" arm extended to protest at the station. Angry Somali men rallied at the radio station shouting, "Tom Barnard, this is for you!". According to the morning show and articles in the Star Tribune in the days following, many of the demonstrators held up the CJ article.

Barnard has also criticized the Hip Hop community for wrongfully portraying gang violence as acceptable, especially in the neighborhood he once grew up in. Local officials in Minneapolis refused for years to acknowledge that Minneapolis had a gang problem, despite many well-known crimes that started in the mid-1980s. Barnard also has been critical of community activists, who criticize police action in predominantly ethnic neighborhoods. Many of these activists are quick to blame police for their actions. Most notable was in 2003 when an African-American man falsely accused police of abusing him with a toliet plunger. It was later proven he lied and falsified such claims. However, local community activists had riled the residents of the neighborhood against the police because of these false accusations.

[edit] Other KQRS Morning Show Crew members

- Terri Traen (Real name Theresa Pawelk): The only on-air female crew member. Unofficial "co-host" of Barnard's. Traen serves as the "Tommy Smothers" to Barnard's "Dick" while discussing the news of the day. Despite this, she seems to take it all in stride, and infrequently comes back with just as many double-entendres as the men on the show. Terri has in the past made several gaffes, including reporting that a Saint Florian's Cross on a license plate indicates the driver is a repeat DWI offender (when in fact it designates membership or employment with a fire department). Terri has asymmetrical breasts, a fact which is referenced numerous times by the show crew and listeners who call/write in. However, she doesn't appear to flaunt this fact, such as in many of the photos taken of her. Also has her own portion of the KQRS website dedicated to men she finds attractive called "Terri's Hot Studs". Traen serves as a typically Minnesotan provincial foil to Tom Barnard's quasi-urbane emanations. She also helps to promote the show by appearing in numerous spots (such as stores) throughout the Twin Cities. As a Roman Catholic, Traen often defends the church when others, who may also be Catholic, are more eager to criticize it.

- Bryce Crousore: The show's producer who also appears on-air. A recovered drug addict who freely speaks about his addiction and recovery. Often teased about his unabashed love for pornography and porn stars. Frequently references pornographic films and websites and is also teased when women who claim to have large breasts call in because it gets him aroused.

- Mike 'Stretch' Gelfand: Short , middle-aged, Jewish and liberal, provides a stark contrast to the rest of the show's largely conservative views. Often uses wit or dry humor when commenting on an issue and runs the show's "Dead Pool" with listeners as well as a weekly football pick segment.

- Phillip 'Philly Dawg' Wise: A former NY Jets/Vikings player and the lone African-American crew member who is almost always referenced when a news segment or topic is about blacks (who Barnard jokingly refers to as "Philly's cousins"). Despite the show's racial humor element, Wise and Barnard have been good friends for years. Wise is often the subject of racial teasing and plays into the jokes, referring to himself as "a black man in America today".

- Bob 'Sanny' Sansevere: Sports columnist for the Pioneer Press who gives daily local and national sports updates and also weighs in on other show issues being discussed. Sansevere had served as a Councilmember in the City of Orono, MN.

- Brian Zepp: The show's soundbite man who like Crousore is very open about his love for beautiful, large-chested women.

- Jeff Passolt: Local (FOX 9) news co-anchor who, like Sansevere provides insight on news and sports topics being discussed. Although he keeps his political views neutral on the air, he was once urged by Barnard to run for political office. Passolt is also responisble for coining the famous "I Have To Poop" phrase that can be heard peridoically on the show.

[edit] Regular/popular KQ Morning Show segments

- Real _____ Or Not: A game show-style contest in which listeners (usually three) play against each other. Barnard will read them a clue or have them listen to a soundbite and the listener has to guess if what they heard was real or made up. While the segment is pitched as a contest, there is a "one tie, all tie" clause in which if any one player ties another, everyone wins the prize. Predictably, this almost always happens. Several varations used have been "Real Porno Movie Title Or Not" and "Real Tabloid Headline Or Not".

- Listener's Segment: Usually beginning between 7:30-8:00 AM, the show has a segment dedicated entirely to listener mail. Mail read on-air often includes references to recently covered stories by the show or humorous moments.

- Vegas Show: One time a year, usually in November, the show travels to and broadcasts live from Las Vegas. Even though Las Vegas is on Pacific time, the show still comes on at its regular time. Many KQ listeners travel with the show to Vegas and listen live as it is broadcast from a hotel conference room. Several running gags in regards to the Vegas show is how drunk all the listeners in attendance (as well as the show members) are despite it running from 3:30-7:20 AM as well as women flashing their breasts and comparing size. Comedian Louie Anderson, a Minnesota native and good friend of Barnard who has a regular show in Las Vegas, frequently drops by.

- Football Picks: Show member Mike "Stretch" Gelfand (called so because of his short stature) and ex-Vikings/Jets player Phillip "Philly Dawg" Wise make weekly picks on that week's NFL action. Stretch and Wise keep a running total of how their picks (made from an imaginary pool of money) do during the season.

- Stretch's Dead Pool: Shortly after New Year's, Stretch, the show crew and several listeners participate in a contest picking people who they believe will die within the current year. The pool is run in a sports draft format with each person picking a predicted death in order.

- Sound Bites: Like many radio shows, KQRS has a wide variety of sound bites that are played by sound man Brian Zepp at various times during the show. Several of these mock the show members themselves. For example, Barnard once read a news story that had quoted someone as saying "I love being gay", while another he read starts out with "When I was 17 I enjoyed a summer experimenting with guys.". The recordings of these are now played at various times to tease Barnard. Others include famous celebrity slip ups and racial humor such as a soundbite with an African-American man saying "where all the white women at?" which is actually a line from the movie Blazing Saddles. Many of the sound bites are from popular television shows such as South Park, The Simpsons, The Office, and Da Ali G Show.

- Mike Evans Live From Hollywood: Celebrity gossip reporter Mike Evans calls in and reports the latest celebrity gossip as well as reviews new and upcoming movies. Evans has gained popularity with his "Aloha Friday" song which he sings when reporting on Fridays. Evans is often made fun of by the crew for pronouncing celebrity names and other words wrong.

- The Arrest: An actual audio recording of an American-African man being arrested by Minneapolis police. The man is clearly unhappy with his situation and berates the arresting officers, refusing to give them his personal information. Highlights include him noting his name as "Bitch", then spelling it "b-i-c-h" when asked to by the officer. Many letters in the aforementioned Listener's Segment begin with 'Dear KQ Biches'. The man also referrs to the officer as "yo mammy" several times and when asked by the police if he has ever been arrested before, he repiles "yup!...for kicking white folks' ass". [1]

- You Kicked My Dog: The KQ Morning Show is one of few today who still reference the cult Internet comedy prank call You Kicked My Dog. Many soundbites from this call are used by the crew, most notably the line "you know damn right!" which is often played when talking or reading a newswire story about terrorists.

- Cat Lady : A mentally unsound woman calls 911 to request that officers be sent to her home to take her cat away because it is "scared". She goes on to tell the operator to go fly a kite with a hole in it and that she should be put to sleep. She becomes enraged that the operator would question her reasoning abilities and threatens her several times.

- Cash Call: Audio of Ken Thomas at WJJY in Brainerd, Minnesota calling people to see if they can guess at a dollar amount to win that amount. Many of the sound bites used in the show come from this mix of people whom Thomas called throughout the years. These include the phrases "$17, hows that?," "a pair of choppers," "anybody can come," "not interested" and "are you gay?"

- The Chucker: A fictional morning DJ From "P-P-Power 92 radio" whose bit is to confuse the interviewee with someone that works with them, has a similar last name, or is the complete oppopsite of the subject's personality. He is famous for his "a-he-he-he-he" laugh and the phrase "Can't thank you enough for all the time." He has interviewed Jim Nabors (Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C., Andy Griffith Show), George Carlin (confused with Gabe Kaplan), Rob Schneider (confused with Dana Carvey), Keanu Reeves (confused with Christopher Reeve), George Lindsey (Andy Griffith), a Christian comic (whom he told several dirty jokes to), "Michael Jackson" (actually a Michael Jackson that lived in Chicago whose name he got from the phone book) and former Twin's Second Baseman "Chuck Knoblar" (Chuck Knoblauch). This is a regular bit, but is not exclusive to KQRS.

[edit] External links

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