Three (Enneagram)

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The Achiever personality type, according to Don Richard Riso, is the third personality type of the Enneagram, and is also known as a Three.

Contents

[edit] Basic Description

When Achievers are healthy, they know how to develop themselves in order to become the best they can be, and they are often well-liked and successful in whatever field they choose. But while outward success is nice it is not their main aim. Their definition of success is no longer influenced by their culture, and their peer group. Achievers learn early on in life to be goal-oriented and in an unhealthy state can seek to gather positive attention for their actions. They aim for success because they are afraid of becoming a "nobody" with no value. The downside to this is that Achievers can be so into outward success that they lose touch with themselves and what they really are. When the question, "What do I really want?" finally appears to them, they don't know how to answer, simply because they never thought of it before.

[edit] Childhood

Achievers were not valued for themselves as children. They were valued for what they could achieve. They learned how to get external validation of their self-worth through their successes, but that never really satisfied them because it was validation of what they did and not what they actually were. Young achievers usually looked to the nurturers of their families for approval -- usually their mothers. They adapt to pleasing that person, absorbing subconscious expectations without knowing it. As they grow older, Achievers may start pursuing a certain career not knowing why, only knowing that this career would make their families (especially their mothers) proud of them. Those who grow up in dysfunctional environments struggle with rage because nothing can please their dysfunctional mothers. They split off from their identities and live lives of loneliness and frustration, even though they may have achieved some sort of worldly success.

[edit] Wings

[edit] Three With A Two Wing: The Charmer

[edit] Healthy

Healthy 3w2s are helpful and kind like Twos but have high personal achievements like Threes. They want to be close with people, but may substitute public life for a more satisfying private life with stable relationships.

[edit] Average

Average 3w2s, in their pursuit of others liking them and admiring them, learn how to "turn it on" to impress others. They often come across as artificial. They are usually covertly competitive, and resort to multiple images to impress others in social situations.

[edit] Unhealthy

Fearing failure and humiliation, they can be exploitative and opportunistic, covetous of the success of others, and willing to do "whatever it takes" to preserve the illusion of their superiority. / Devious and deceptive so that their mistakes and wrongdoings will not be exposed. Untrustworthy, maliciously betraying or sabotaging people to triumph over them. Delusionally jealous of others / Become vindictive, attempting to ruin others' happiness. Relentless, obsessive about destroying whatever reminds them of their own shortcomings and failures. Psychopathic, murder. Generally corresponds to the Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

[edit] Examples of 3w2s

Examples include Bill Clinton, Elvis Presley, John Travolta, Christopher Reeve, Shania Twain, Paul McCartney, Sharon Stone, Dick Clark, Jane Pauley, Kathie Lee Gifford, and Tony Robbins.

[edit] Three With A Four Wing: The Professional

[edit] Healthy

3w4s derive their self-esteem from their job success more than their personal qualities. Putting great energy into their careers, they take great pleasure into developing their craft and maintaining professional integrity.

[edit] Average

Average 3w4s are perfectionistic in order to avoid being shamed as inferior. They are less sociable than 3w2s.They also display a mix of arrogance and self-contempt, making this a very confusing, self-destructive subtype.

[edit] Unhealthy

[edit] Examples of 3w4s

Some well-known examples of 3w4s are Barbra Streisand, Oprah Winfrey, Tom Cruise, Ben Kingsley, Madonna, Sting, Richard Gere, Michael Jordan, Whitney Houston, F. Scott Fitzgerald, and Werner Erhard.

[edit] Instincts

[edit] Self-Preservational Instinct

[edit] Average

Self-preservational Achievers tend to be workaholics who work for money, assets, and a stable home, and they try to impress others with these things. They strive to live as efficient lives as possible. At work, they strive for career advancement, and they are often unable to relax during vacation, deciding instead to do homework. Illness can seem to destroy everything.

[edit] Unhealthy

At this stage, unhealthy Achievers are prone to nervous breakdowns and burnout.

[edit] Social Instinct

[edit] Average

Social Achievers are the definition of the phrase "conspicuous consumption." They seek the right credentials, the right degrees, the right clothes. As they become unhealthier, they resort to bragging and exaggeration of their abilities.

[edit] Unhealthy

Unhealthy Achievers at this level often demonstrate the Peter Principle, or in other words, they are promoted to their level of incompetence. They use deceit and exploit others to hide their real condition.

[edit] Sexual Instinct

[edit] Average

Sexual Achievers want to be desired. They want to be the person their love interests show off to their peer group. They may have ambitions to be a movie star or a fashion model. They usually know how to attract mates, but they may not know how to maintain a relationship. They may be constantly afraid that they do not personally live up to their image. Less healthy Achievers may be exhibitionists in order to seduce others or feel valued.

[edit] Unhealthy

Unhealthy sexual Achievers may be promiscuous, and may strike at others who attempt to question their value.

[edit] Issues Threes Will Face in Their Lives

  • Fear of failure
  • Deceit, Vanity, and External Validation
  • Pushing on with Performance and Being Out of Touch with Feelings
  • Overly Competitive and to Win at all costs
  • Image and Presentation
  • Packaging Oneself as a Commodity
  • Hiding behind masks
  • Fear of Intimacy
  • Narcissism

[edit] Levels of Development

Healthy
Level 1 Achievers let go of their belief that their self-worth depends on others' perception of them. They can now discover their true identity and their heart's desire. Achievers' also satisfy their basic desire to be valued. They become self-accepting, kind, and genuine.
Level 2 Achievers learn what others value and become more valuable in that sense. They feel they have unlimited potential at this stage.
Level 3 Achievers develop themselves and their talents at this stage. They become excellent at whatever they do. They are effective communicators and become popular role models for other people.
Average
Level 4 Achievers start to fear that they will not get the attention that they desire, because others' accomplishments overshadow theirs. They drive themselves to achieve more.
Level 5 Achievers start to impress people because they fear they will lose the positive regard of others, so they are simultaneously ambitious and self-doubting. At this stage, they have intimacy problems.
Level 6 Achievers attempt to convince others of their huge successes, because they fear that others will not notice them if they are not hugely successful. They are competitive, arrogant, and secretly needy.
Unhealthy
Level 7 Achievers at this level fear they are failing and that their claims are fraudulent, so they start to deceive themselves and others. They feel depressed and empty inside.
Level 8 Deceit at this level is incredibly high, and they use deceit to cover their mental deterioration. They hide their emotional illness and bad deeds.
Level 9 Unhealthy people at this level may lose control of their repressed rage, and they seek revenge on real or imaginary tormentors, attempting to bring down whoever has rejected them.

[edit] Path of Disintegration: Three Goes to Nine

Under stress, Achievers begin to act like average-to-unhealthy Nines. They may eventually burnout and then have no choice but to stop from their relentless pursuit of success. Experiencing setbacks can be devastating to Achievers. During these times, their emptiness and rage can break through. It can also be a time for them to work out what they really want and to value themselves from within through self esteem. Often only a complete burnout will lead them to develop themselves rather than their outward success and image that they naturally and often unconsciously fixate on.

[edit] Path of Integration: Three Goes to Six

Achievers integrate to Six by committing to others and to goals that transcend their self-interest. They shift from trying to pursue a self-image to a real desire to contribute to something that is bigger than themselves. They learn how to communicate honestly, because there is no longer any need to impress others. As Achievers learn how to build relationships with others, they also learn how to find their own inner guidance and support.

[edit] Self-Development

  • Watch for when you are fixating on how you appear to others. This will invite less vanity and encourage you to seek your own goals and not just to impress those around you.
  • Notice when you are working too hard, so you can give yourself a break and take time to relax. You will work better overall this way.
  • Seek out trustworthy people with whom you can share your anxieties and vulnerabilities.
  • Notice when your feelings are affected by something and you try to push on with work. Stop and take time to work out why you felt that way and then work out a strategy to correct it. This may involve improving your self esteem by genuinely reminding yourself that you always try your best and are out for the good of others.
  • Schedule meditation and long warm baths.
  • Find a way where you can volunteer as an ordinary worker, not as the head of a team. Take time to listen and understand others' needs. This may give you a sense of value that you never thought possible at this level. You will also grow as you will come to more deeply realize how value is not just dependent upon level of status. You will also become a better boss for any future projects you have planned.
  • Look at where you are now in terms of success and learn to appreciate that.
  • Look out for and be aware of when you are unconsciously exaggerating your achievements. This awareness will invite the desired opposite: honesty.

[edit] Other interesting facts

Basic Fear: Of being worthless.
Basic Desire: To be valuable.
Passion: Deceit
Virtue: Truthfulness
Holy Ideas: Holy Law, Hope
Fixation: Vanity

[edit] References

Riso, Dan Richard. Personality Types: Using the Enneagram for Self-Discovery. Boston: Houghton Mifflin Company, 1987. ISBN 0-395-40575-0.
Riso, Dan Richard and Russ Hudson. The Wisdom of the Enneagram: The Complete Guide to Psychological and Spiritual Growth for the Types. New York: Bantam Books, 1999. ISBN 0-553-37820-1.

[edit] Links


Enneagram
One: The Reformer | Two: The Helper | Three: The Achiever | Four: The Romantic | Five: The Observer
Six: The Loyalist | Seven: The Enthusiast | Eight: The Leader | Nine: The Mediator
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