The Water Pistols

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This article is about the spoof punk band. For information about pistols that shoot water see Squirt gun.

The Water Pistols were a spoof of the then current punk rock movement by British comedian Charlie Drake.[citation needed] He recorded one novelty record in 1976 under this name.

Both songs on the record are based on the satirical notion that all punk bands are talentless and juvenile.

The A side, "Gimme That Punk Junk" is loosely based on "I'm a Loser" by The Beatles. It begins, "I can handle the blues, the reggae and funk...I'm totally bewildered by this rotten punk junk". It also includes the lyrics: "I'm a boozer/I'm a cruiser/Anarchist/Anarchist/An' I kissed/A couple of local girls", and "I've learnt two chords an' I sing out of tune/If punk rock lasts I will make a fortune".

The B side, "Soft Punk", begins: "One...two...cut your head off!" and contains frequent references to the punk singer Dick Capitate's desire to do so. The song ends with a spoof news report confirming that he has cut off his head at the Rutland Open Air Punk Festival, in front of an audience of lemmings and his immediate relatives.

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