The One with the Dirty Girl

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"The One With the Dirty Girl" is the sixth episode of season four of the television situation comedy Friends.

First aired: November 6, 1997

Spoiler warning: Plot and/or ending details follow.

[edit] Plot

The gang is gathered at Central Perk, watching Ross come back from a date with a gorgeous girl. The gang figures she's a model (or, per Rachel's suggestion, an aerobics instructor), but Ross explains her name is Cheryl and she's a paleontology doctoral candidate, specializing in the Centazoic Era. Chandler laughs that off, saying it's the "easiest era." Rachel then suggests that Cheryl's just entered in a contest to see who can bring home the biggest geek - and Ross says he hopes Cheryl wins.

Kathy, Joey's new girlfriend (and Chandler's crush), has a birthday coming up. Chandler wanted to get her something nice, and remembered a conversation they had wherein she mentioned her favorite book as a kid - The Velveteen Rabbit. So Chandler, wanting to make a good impression, found a rare copy of the book and planned to give it to her. That is, until Ross and Phoebe point out that Joey's gift then has to be just as - or more - meaningful. Chandler agrees to help Joey find something great (not a crossbow, as Phoebe suggested), especially after he finds out that Joey wasn't planning to get her anything at all (save for a coupon for an hour of "Joey Love").

Monica gets an offer to cater a funeral for sixty guests, but since it's such short notice and she doesn't have the money to buy the equipment, she turns the job down. Phoebe offers to lend her the money, on the condition that Monica become more serious about the catering business. She comes back with a good report from the funeral - not only did everyone love the food, but she was hired to do another one the next day. "The dead guy from today's best friend," Monica explains. "I mean, it's like I am the official caterer for that accident!" When Phoebe asks for her money back, Monica reveals that she spent the money she earned on catering equipment, but will pay Phoebe back with the next day's check. Phoebe apologizes for "acting like a bank."

Ross goes on another date with Cheryl, and she invites him in to her apartment. Neat freak Ross is appalled at the state of Cheryl's apartment - messy and covered with junk, complete with a hamster running loose. A freaked-out Ross tries to convince Cheryl to come back to his apartment, but she refuses - saying the place has a "weird smell."

Monica caters the next day's funeral, with Phoebe's help. They're about to leave when Phoebe notices they haven't settled the bill yet. Monica goes to do so - but the widow is overcome with grief at the mention of money. Phoebe, however, thinks this is a ploy to get out of paying the bill. Monica doesn't believe her - until she goes to try again and sees the widow happily singing show tunes. Phoebe, wanting her money back, goes to the widow and demands their money - which the widow then agrees to pay.

Meanwhile, Rachel tries to finish a crossword puzzle all by herself - she got all but three the other day, and wants to see if she can finish one on her own. After refusing help from Phoebe (and tricking Chandler into giving her an answer), she finally does it. She's alone at Central Perk when she finishes it, with no one to hug - Gunther, hearing this, runs out to "help," but is dismayed when Monica and Phoebe come in. Monica tells Rachel about how Phoebe saved her day, and then suggests she and Phoebe become catering partners. Monica could do the food, Phoebe could handle the money. Phoebe agrees - and the two embark on a new catering journey.

Joey finally gets Kathy a present for her birthday - a pen with a built-in clock. Chandler says that's a terrible gift to give your girlfriend, and offers to shop for Joey. He ends up giving Joey the book to give to Kathy; in return, Joey gives Kathy the pen and says it's from Chandler. Kathy, however, knows Chandler was really the one who bought the book - she figured as much when Joey gave it to her and said, "This is because I know you like rabbits, and I know you like cheese."

Ross now has a conundrum - he really likes Cheryl, but her apartment is off-putting. As he explains to Joey and Chandler, "You know how you throw your jacket on a chair at the end of the day? Well, it's like that, only instead of a chair it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a jacket, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it's the end of time and garbage is all that has survived!" He's willing to give it another try - but decides to end it when he ends up killing a rat (that Cheryl thought was her hamster).

During the closing credits, Monica goes to Cheryl's in the middle of the night, and offers to clean her apartment. Ross told her about it, she explains, and she's been up all night thinking about it. A confused Cheryl shuts the door in Monica's face. Monica, undaunted, then starts cleaning Cheryl's door.