The One with the Candy Hearts
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"The One with the Candy Hearts" is the fourteenth episode of season one of the television situation comedy Friends.
First aired: February 9, 1995
[edit] Plot
The episode takes place around Valentine's Day. It opens the day before, with Ross, Chandler and Joey hanging out at Central Perk. Ross is eyeing a beautiful woman, who Ross kind of knows - she lives in his building, and she once lent him an egg. Chandler and Joey convince him to ask her out. Joey's idea is to walk up to her, with an egg, and say "Here's your egg back" as a way to break the ice. Ross does so - but then Chandler and Joey decide the woman will never fall for it. Much to their surprise, she agrees.
Joey wants to go on a date with a girl named Lorraine - but she'll only go if she can bring a friend, and if Joey will bring a friend for her friend. He drags a reluctant Chandler along with him. Chandler is reluctant in part because of Lorraine's description of her friend: Chandler says that "she sounds like such a--" and Joey interrupts, "...pathetic mess, I know. "You get the pretty one, I get the mess," Chandler reminds him. Immediately, Chandler regrets this - Lorraine's "pathetic" friend is none other than Chandler's annoying ex, Janice.
Since Rachel, Monica and Phoebe are all single, they decide to spend the night in each others' company, wallowing in their misfortune. They talk about a series of bad dates - for example, Pete the Weeper (would cry after sex) and Howard the "I Win" guy (would shout "I win" repeatedly after sex). Phoebe suggests that the next night - which happens to be Valentine's Day - would be a perfect night to perform a "cleansing ritual" to help them rid them of their bad luck with men. Monica and Rachel resist at first, but upon hearing Phoebe's other suggestion (chanting and dancing, naked, with sticks), they agree to the ritual.
Back at the restaurant, Joey and Lorraine are getting along very well - so well, that Lorraine wants to take Joey back to her apartment, slather his body with stuff, and lick it off. Joey decides to leave - "I'm not even sure what slathering is, but I definitely wanna be a part of it" - leaving Chandler and Janice by themselves. Fortunately for them, Joey gave Chandler his credit card to pay for dinner - which the two displaced lovebirds immediately take advantage of, ordering expensive champagne. Chandler also orders a Rob Roy, because "I've always wanted to know." Unfortunately for Chandler, however, the two wind up drunk - and waking up next to each other the next morning.
Ross's date with Kristen, the girl from his building, doesn't get off to a very good start - they go to a Benihana-style restaurant, and not long after they're seated another couple is seated at the other end of their table - namely, Carol and Susan. Susan gets paged into work and has to go, leaving a disappointed (and pregnant) Carol all by her lonesome. With blessing from his date, Ross invites Carol to sit with them.
The girls start their "cleansing ritual" - Phoebe's started a fire in a wastecan. She asks for "ornamental branches and the sacramental wine," but since all Monica has is oregano and a Fresca, she uses that instead. She then asks for "the semen of a righteous man," at which point Rachel reminds her that "if we had that, we wouldn't be doing the ritual in the first place." They start throwing things in - Rachel throws in letters from Barry and a pair of boxers belonging to an Adam Ritter; Phoebe throws in a receipt from a dinner with one date, and Monica tosses in a picture of a naked - and very hairy - former boyfriend named Scotty Jarad. The fire gets out of hand, however, when Rachel (forgetting its high alcohol content) pours in grappa that Paolo gave her.
After Janice gives him the candy hearts (specially printed to read "Chan and Jan 4-Ever"), Chandler breaks up with her for a third time. Janice takes it surprisingly well, saying that she knows this isn't actually the end for them. Chandler swears that it is - but when she leaves, he shouts "Call me!" after her.
Meanwhile, Ross is having such a good time talking to Carol, he doesn't notice Kristen has left. After realizing he's just screwed up his first date in nine years, he suggests that he and Carol get back together. It's perfect, he argues - they know each other very well, she's carrying his baby. Carol, while thinking the world of Ross, convinces him otherwise - saying the right woman is out there, waiting for him. "That's easy for you to say," Ross counters, "you found one already."
The episode ends with the firefighters the girls called to put out their bonfire asking them out. They agree to go, thinking their bad luck is finally over - but as they're leaving, we learn that not only are all three married, but one already has a girlfriend on the side.
[edit] Additional cast
- Fireman Charlie - Jay Acovone
- Fireman Ed - Joel Gretsch
- Susan Bunch - Jessica Hecht
- Kristen Riggs - Heather Medway
- Fireman Dave - Larry Poindexter
- Carol Willick - Jane Sibbett
- Lorraine - Nancy Valen
- Janice Hosenstein - Maggie Wheeler
[edit] Quotes
- Phoebe: Oh, oh. This is my receipt when I had dinner with Nackaloonaughlah.
- Monica: Here's a picture of Scottie Jarad naked.
- Rachel: No he's not, he's wearing a sweater.
- Monica: No.
- Rachel & Phoebe: Ewwwww!
- Joey: If you don't do it, I will.
- Phoebe: You know my friend Abby who shaves her head?
| Preceded by "The One With the Boobies" |
List of Friends episodes | Followed by "The One With the Stoned Guy" |
