The Off-Site Meeting (Dilbert episode)
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| “The Off-Site Meeting” | |
|---|---|
| Dilbert episode | |
 |
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| Episode no. | Season 2 Episode 22 |
| Written by | |
| Production no. | 209 |
| Original airdate | February 1, 2000 |
| Episode chronology | |
| ← Previous | Next → |
| "The Merger" | "The Assistant" |
| List of Dilbert animated series episodes | |
The Off-Site Meeting is the twenty-second episode of the Dilbert animated series, the eighth of the second season. It originally aired on February 1, 2000.
Dilbert is having trouble sleeping at night because of his neighbors, the Pierponts, an elderly upper-class couple with a house full of exotic decorations they picked up around the world. Their African tribal drums, windchimes and other noises in the middle of the night are preventing him from resting. The Pierponts refuse his requests for peace, that they are disturbing his "Fortress of Solitude". Dilbert attempts to get Dogbert to help, only to find out from Ratbert that he's away on business, "something about installing a puppet government".
Once he makes it to work, albeit sleep deprived, he finds out that his company is being sued by an environmentalist group. In a blind attempt to copy the success of other companies, they completely laid waste to a forest, and are now being sued by the "Tree Lover's Society". In an attempt to defuse the lawsuit before it costs the company too much money, the Pointy-Haired Boss wants to have an off-site meeting with the President of the Tree Lover's Society, Elmer Oakley. The staff quickly decides, over Dilbert's objections, to have it at his house.
The Pierponts continue to be even more irritating, as an elephant they bought arrives, which stomps through the fence between their yards and ruins his property (which his neighbors deny ever happened). A major construction project to build a pen to house the elephant, but the contractors are building it on Dilbert's property (over his objections, they say that's where their work order said to put it).
With Dogbert's help and insistence, Dilbert completely rearranges his house to look more impressive to his co-workers. His refrigerator is completely filled with broccoli to make it look like he eats healthy, a trophy case filled with sports awards boasts of (non-existent) victories, and his television turned to public broadcasting. Unfortunately, his co-workers see through the ruse after a while, realizing that nobody could have such a perfect house.
The off-site meeting itself goes poorly. Wally forgot to bring food, and Alice brought a game to break the ice at the meeting: paintball. A paintball match breaks out in Dilbert's house, quickly turning his neat and tidy house into a war zone. Trying to win the game, Elmer Oakley takes aim at the elephant with the paintball gun and opens fire, enraging the elephant. The enraged elephant breaks out of its pen, destroys Dilbert's house, and is killed in the process. Dilbert is shocked and horrified at the loss of his house. At that moment, Dogbert returns from his business trip and demands an explanation.
Dogbert surveys the situation and quickly realizes the solution: Solve the lack of food by using the lumber from the wrecked house and pen to barbeque the elephant. They can solve the lawsuit against the company by pointing out to the environmentalist that he just killed an endangered species, and if he drops the suit then the company can forget that he killed an elephant. Lastly, Dogbert makes a phone call to a construction company and has his neigbor's house (which looks identical to his) moved into his lot, the possessions of his neighbors thrown in the garbage, and his insurance company replace all his property. Upon surveying his works, Asok marvels "I shall now start the paperwork to make you a god." As a last note he also arranges for an in-flight announcement to play on the flight the Pierponts are on telling them that their house and elephant have been destroyed, because Mrs. Pierpont left her curling iron on, burning down the house.
