The Greaseman

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Doug "The Greaseman" Tracht (born August 1, 1950 in Bronx, New York) is a radio personality who was probably most famous during his time with WWDC-FM in Washington, D.C., when he took over the morning drive time slot from Howard Stern. His career has also included television and movie performances.

[edit] Career

Doug Tracht was on-air as "The Greaseman" at several different stations, including:

During his time at WXRK (now WFNY), he was syndicated to several other Infinity Broadcasting (now CBS Radio) stations (such as WYSP 94.1 in Philadelphia). In fall 1996, his show returned via syndication to Jacksonville over WTLK "Real Radio" 106.5, where it lasted until January 1998, when the station changed owners and formats. During this Jacksonville run, Greaseman's show changed origination from a California studio, to WARW in Washington, DC. With this change, he again incorporated music into his program.

In February 1999, while at WARW, Tracht made a comment about James Byrd, who was murdered in 1998 after having been dragged behind a pickup truck by two white supremacists. The Greaseman had been playing a song by Lauryn Hill. Tracht then stated, as a reference to the quality of her music, "and they wonder why we drag them behind trucks." This incident proved catastrophic to his radio career, igniting a firestorm of protest from black and white listeners alike, including Donnie Simpson, who savaged Tracht on his morning show on sister station WPGC-FM. Not only was Tracht quickly fired from WARW, he lost his position as a volunteer deputy sheriff in Falls Church, Virginia.

Starting in 2002, he returned to the air from his home studio, broadcasting on WDMV-AM 700 (previously WGOP) near Frederick, Maryland, and was soon afterwards syndicated to numerous other stations in the region. Currently he holds the morning show slot on WMET-AM 1160 in Gaithersburg, Maryland, and selected Greaseman bits are heard during late PM drive on WGRX-FM 104.5 in the Fredericksburg, Virginia area.

Tracht also appeared in two television movies produced by close friend and associate Brian Dennehy [1] -- Jack Reed: A Search For Justice (1994) and Jack Reed: Death And Vengeance (1996). He made a film, inspired by Pulp Fiction, called The Last Mango.

[edit] Radio routines

The Greaseman's radio programs feature elaborate audio sketches involving an assortment of fictional characters, often macho he-men engaged in outrageous sexual exploits. At other times he might portray a pathetic wimp for comic effect. In these stories and in his conversations with call-in listeners from "the blower", Greaseman manages to explicitly describe vulgar or patently sexual acts, using a self-styled set of codewords and sound effects to refer to specific body parts or physical acts in order to elude censors.

The codewords and sound effects are certainly the Greaseman's most well known "call sign," and the easiest target for other DJs who make fun of him. He punctuates his routines with these repeated absurd and often garbled vocalizations, including one of his stock greetings, "waddle-diddle-daddum, waddle-diddle-daddum-day" "Hobble-doo-gee" refers to intercourse, which is often accompanied by graphic sound effects, such as the sound of sawing wood. Oral sex is referred to as "gobble-doo-gee," "snarlin's," going "south with the mouth," and various verbs paired with the metaphorical "bomb-bays." One popular routine, "Clinton and the Punk," featuring an implied gay Clint Eastwood and his boyfriend, always ended with the sounds of squealing pigs, the code sound effect for anal sex. These euphemisms, while entertaining in their own right, likely evolved to avoid being censored or fined by the FCC.

The Greaseman's stories involve recurring imaginary characters and associated themes, including:

  • Lawman: Perhaps inspired by his actual experiences with police, Greaseman launches these raucous bits with "time to wonder what it must be like ... to strap on a gun, pin on a badge, and become ... a Lawman." What follows, with a background of the theme music from the 1970s TV show "S.W.A.T", is a playful romp through a law enforcement adventure, usually marked by over-aggressiveness and comic sexuality.
  • Bingo: "The Grease" is occasionally called upon to "spill his guts" regarding how he came to be called Bingo during his college days. The embarrassing story invariably revolves around his winning a "wailin' away" (masturbation) contest during a fraternity initiation party.
  • Blasterpiece Theater: Featuring the Grease as Sylvester Stallone telling "spicy stories" typically associated with gunfire.
  • Clinton & the Punk: The Grease speculates about what might happen if he "got a knock on the head" and took up housekeeping in an "alternate lifestyle" with Clint Eastwood. These routines invariably end to the sound of squealing pigs as the servile speaker is unexpectedly sodomized by his dominant partner.
  • Deliverance 101: The Grease does take-offs on the Deliverance story, with a focus on the rape scene involving Ned Beatty and Billy McKinney. McKinney, portraying a shotgun toting mountain man, forces Beatty to "squeal like a pig" during the assault.
  • Dr. Greasemanelli: Grease recalls his days in the medical profession as a "Groinecologist" (one of the most pompous). Set to the melodramatic violin music from the film Young Frankenstein, these invariably begin with his entry into the Surgical Theater, where he would throw his arms skyward and scream, "These hands have been touched by God!"
  • South of the Border: Following an introduction in which he invites the audience to accompany him "South of the Border" to "La Tierra (the "r" sound is trilled for an outrageous length of time) de la Muerte," The Grease relates one of his surreal adventures in Mexico, usually accompanied by his "former" wife, Estelle (Ya pig, ya!). To get an idea what this was all about: In one episode in 1984 he described how someone scraped horse dandruff into a tortilla and ate it.
  • Going to West Virginia: Banjo music plays while Grease discusses the good country people of West Virginia.
  • Looking for "Ugly Women": the Grease, along with his father, Oscar Greasemanelli go searching for entertainment in Oscar's pick-up truck.
  • Sgt. Fury: The Grease takes a trip back to the days, "When the name on my uniform said Greasemanelli, but everybody knew me as SGT. FURY!" The stories invariably take place in Quang Tri, Vietnam, 1967, though of course Tracht, born in 1950, was not old enough to have been in the army at that time.
  • Redneck song: The Grease sings about being a redneck with the refrain, "Oh baby I'm a redneck, can't help it I'm a redneck!"
  • Johhny Rico: Recalling his Bronx childhood, Tracht adopts the persona of a tough, quick-lipped teenager, and recounts Rico's ribald experiences in short, stylized phrases syncopated with the background drumbeats of The Surfaris 1960's hit, "Wipe Out".
  • The Greaseman Quiz: Players are asked questions while playing for various prizes from, "Spiegel, Chicago 60609".
  • Topicality: Ninno Greasemanelli reviews current events with his sometimes "deviant" spin on the news.
  • Emperor Tuchasfacius: A flashback scenario, where the Grease talks about his 'previous life' as an Emperor of the Holy Roman Empire. His courtiers feature classical-sounding names, each of which contains an anatomical allusion to the individual's quirks, including "Menstruatia," Testicules," and "Fudgepackius."
  • Carlos the International Terrorist: The Grease talks about his run-ins with famed international terrorist, Carlos The Jackal, a real terrorist currently serving a life sentence in France. The bloody encounters with him are improvised and purely fictional, and usually kill off every innocent bystander at some idyllic public gathering. Inevitably (or is it mysteriously?) Grease is the sole survivor of the massacre.
  • Damien: Tracht tells of stories where he encounters his "Dark Master" (i.e., Satan) during an otherwise unremarkable daily event.
  • Irving Greasemanowitz: Another flashback sequence to a 'previous life' where the Grease remembers being the Wild West's first Yiddish lawman.
  • Big Dick Brannigan: Humorous stories revolving around Tracht's time as a private eye.
  • Six Minute Workout: Where Grease talks about a unique workout for men only featuring the infamous Mrs. Baumgartner.
  • RJ calls: An Englishman named RJ calls the Greaseman on the air and recounts outrageous tales involving The Greaseman's dog, who causes RJ great embarrassment by leaving "ploppers" at inopportune moments. These calls always began with RJ's trademark greeting, "I say Greasy, RJ!"
  • Village People: The Grease occasionally refers to his (fictional) time playing a construction worker with the Village People.
  • Bit Without an Ending: One particular routine, which Tracht has referred to as the "Bit Without an Ending," happened in 1982 while Tracht was broadcasting out of DC. In the routine, he recounts being frequently awakened by neighbors buzzing radio-controlled model planes by his windows. One day, having had enough of this, Greaseman built his own RC Airplane with guns and set out to shoot down the other planes. Unfortunately, the plane was possessed by Damien, who turned the plane's weapons on Grease. At this point, Tracht ran out of ideas, and tried to incorporate this blank state of mind into the bit. Pleading "Get me out of this bit, Damien!", he got in his car and tried to get away from the plane but couldn't. He desperately drove his car "South of the Border," but couldn't think of a way to end the bit there. He then called in Big Dick Branigan, but again couldn't think of a way to end the bit. He finally gives up the routine with a resigned, "Hey, sorry, I'm only human" and cut to commercial break. This was a rare instance of his real-time persona interrupting his usually seamless performances.
  • The Hobble-da-ga-ga Handbook Elaborate schemes to "get the girl" highlight this series of adventures. The scenarios always end with the successful perp. peeling out of the driveway leaving the unsuspecting victim momentarily unaware she's been duped. There was also a chapter called "Dumpin' The Dog" which taught how to get the beautiful girl even if she had an ugly friend with her.
  • Tuna Fish Greaseman's favorite snack which he loves to sing about set to music from Mozart.
  • The Sign-Off Before giving up the microphone to the next "boss jock," Grease proclaims "It's Martini Time!" (punctuated by a quick choral "Alleluia") and delivers his trademark sign-off at lightning speed: "At long last it's time to take off these Grecian-Formula-16-stained headphones and escape to that crystal-clear liquid that takes me so far away from all my problems and so far away from all of my pain!" The Sign Off usually continues with an audio clip from Alka-Seltzer {"Oh, What A Relief It Is"} and segues into his final signatory "As we used to say down in ooooold Mexico City: A M F!!!" This final exclamatory (not surprisingly) has more than one interpretation. Occasionally, callers ask the meaning of "A M F": invariably Tract answers: "Adios, My Friend," but most Greaseman insiders understand that it means something entirely different.
  • Bet the Bombays The Greaseman invites callers to try to stump him with a joke. The catch is that if it is a joke he has heard before, he gets to go to their home or work place and sodomize them. This is used as a way of encouragement to not tell commonly told jokes.

[edit] External links

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