The Gift (Dilbert episode)
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| “The Gift” | |
|---|---|
| Dilbert episode | |
 |
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| Episode no. | Season 2 Episode 14 |
| Guest stars | Maurice LaMarche |
| Written by | Ned Goldreyer |
| Directed by | Seth Kearsley |
| Production no. | 201 |
| Original airdate | November 2, 1999 |
| Episode chronology | |
| ← Previous | Next → |
| "Infomercial" | "The Trial" |
| List of Dilbert animated series episodes | |
The Gift was the fourteenth episode of the Dilbert animated series. It originally aired on November 2, 1999, as the first episode of the second season.
Dilbert searches for a birthday gift for his mother. In desperation he confronts his greatest fear: going to the mall. As a child, Dilbert suffered from deep abandonment issues when his father left him to pursue his obsession with the mall restaurant’s "All You Can Eat" special.
[edit] Quotes
At the very beginning of this episode, Dilbert is woken up by a Seven of Nine alarm clock with the voice of Jeri Ryan:
- Alarm clock: Get out of bed. Resistance is futile. Wake up and assimilate the day. (x2)
- Dilbert: I wonder if I could ever date a woman like Jeri Ryan.
- Alarm clock: That too is futile.
- Dilbert: Okay, that's enough out of you. (reaches for the clock)
- Alarm clock: Do not touch me.
- Dilbert: Then how do I turn you off?
- Alarm clock: Believe me, I am plenty turned off right now.
- Dilbert: Clock tease.
The episode title may be a reference to the Star Trek: Voyager episode of the same name.
In the middle of a meeting, Alice is outraged at three marketers' sexist implications:
- Alice: This is so sexist! I am not the only person in this room who shops! Where'd you get the clothes you're wearing?
- PHB: I won these clothes in a contest.
- Head Marketer: Yeah, I always pick up an extra suitcase at the airport luggage carousel.
- Marketer in Blue Tie: We're wearing his hand me downs.
- Loud Howard: SOMETIMES I JUST FIND STUFF AFTER I TALK. (As soon as Howard finishes, a mitten lands in front of him and he puts it on) Ohhhhhhh!
When discussing gift certificates:
- Alice: A gift certificate is completely different from cash.
- Dilbert: No, it's not. They're both pieces of paper you can exchange for goods and services.
- Alice: You're missing the point.
- Dilbert: Actually, a gift certificate is worse than cash, because you can only use it in one place.
- Wally: And it expires.
- Alice: At least it shows some thought.
- Dilbert: It shows defective thought. You're trading perfectly good money for something that does the same thing, only not as well.
