The Act of Marriage
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The Act of Marriage: The Beauty of Sexual Love is a self-help book, written by Christian writers Tim and Beverly LaHaye. The book is mostly concerned with helping couples, mostly women, to achieve sexual satisfaction. The book was first printed in 1976 and boasts a readership of over 2,500,000 readers[1]. While the book is written to be understood by anyone, the primary audience is understood to be Christians.
[edit] Chapter Summaries
[edit] Chapter 1: The Sanctity of Sex
This chapter sets out to convince the reader that sex is holy and sacred, not dirty—an attitude they've found to be prevalent among the couples they've counseled. They cite several examples in both the Old Testament and New Testament where intimate behavior between married persons is commended.
[edit] Chapter 2: What Lovemaking Means to a Man
In this chapter the authors set out five benefits that men derive from intimacy with their wives. The first is that it satisfies his sex drive, which is usually greater than his wife's. The second is that boosts his self-image. The third is that it increases the love he feels for his wife and makes it less likely that he will engage in extramarital affairs. The fourth is that it calms him down and makes him less prone to find fault with his family. The fifth is that it provides one of the most exciting experiences of his life. Overall, the chapter is concerned with convincing wives that it's okay for their husbands to want to have sex with them.
[edit] Chapter 3: What Lovemaking Means to a Woman
In this chapter the authors set out five benefits that women derive from intimacy with their husbands. The first is that it fulfills her sense of womanhood. The second is that it reassures her of her husband's love. They point out that a woman needs to feel companionship love, compassionate love, romantic love, and affectionate love from her husband before she'll feel ready to accept passionate love. The third is that it satisfies her sex drive. The fourth is that it helps her to relax and to not be high-strung. The fifth is that it is the ultimate experience when properly done. Overall, the chapter is concerned with convincing husbands that women can and need to be sexually satisfied, too.
[edit] Chapter 4: Why God Created Sex
In this chapter the authors present five reasons that God created sex, in spite of how it is mis-used by many in their view. The first is that it is needed to propagate the human race. The second is to provide a married couple the means to give mutual pleasure. The third is so that spouses will be fulfilled with each other and will be less tempted by other sexual opportunities. The fourth is so that the husband will have claim over his wife and the wife will have claim over her husband. The fifth is to create a unique union and method of communication between two people that cannot be shared with anyone else. Overall, the chapter is concerned with convincing couples that sex is a blessing from God, but that it should only be experienced within the bonds of marriage.
[edit] Chapter 5: Sex Education
This chapter explains the male and female sex organs and how they respond to sexual stimulation. Some counsel is given on how to avoid or reduce pain when breaking the hymen. Emphasis is placed on the clitoris as the seat of the female orgasm. And the differences between male and female orgasms are outlined.
[edit] Chapter 6: The Art of Lovemaking
This chapter outlines the basic steps taken during a lovemaking session. It includes preparations that should be taken, foreplay, the act itself, and the "afterglow" that follows completion of the act. They stress the importance of the husband waiting until his wife is fully aroused before entering her vagina and proceeding to orgasm. They recommend that a couple use their honeymoon for experimentation so that they can best learn how to please their partner. The importance of clitoral stimulation to achieve female orgasm is again stressed. Male and female sexual responses are again compared and a brief discussion of positions is given.
[edit] Chapter 7: For Men Only
This chapter gives eleven suggestions on how men can satisfy their wives. The first is to educate themselves on the female anatomy. The second is to learn to control their ejaculation so it doesn't happen prematurely. The third is to concentrate on the woman's satisfaction, not his own. The fourth is to remember what arouses a woman (companionship, compassionate, romantic, and affectionate love). The fifth is to control his temper. The sixth is to avoid the use of crude words. The seventh is to avoid speaking of private matters with friends and colleagues. The eighth is to avoid smelling bad. The ninth is to avoid rushing the act. The tenth is to have open communication with his wife. And the last is to love his wife as a person.
[edit] Chapter 8: For Women Only
This chapter gives nine suggestions on how women can satisfy their husbands and achieve satisfaction themselves during the sex act. The first is to keep a positive mental attitude. This is broken down into three parts: having a positive attitude about sex, a positive attitude about herself, and a positive attitude about her husband. The second is that she relax. The third is that she recognize that many inhibitions need to be abandoned in the bedroom. The fourth is to remember that her husband is stimulated by sight. The fifth is to avoid nagging, criticizing, or ridiculing her husband. The sixth is to remember that while she may not be in the mood for sexual relations when her husband makes advances, she is capable of responding and "getting into the mood." The seventh is to keep her feminine parts clean. The eighth is to communicate with her husband and tell him what pleases her. The ninth is to pray and ask God for help in achieving sexual satisfaction.
[edit] Chapter 9: The Unfulfilled Woman
This chapter declares that many wives aren't as satisfied by sexual encounters as they could be because they fail to achieve orgasm. Eleven reasons are given why women might experience dissatisfaction with sex and suggestions are given on how to overcome those problems. The first is ignorance on both her part and her husband's part on how to achieve clitoral orgasm. The second is feelings of hate or hostility towards someone else—especially her husband. The third is feelings of guilt—especially those brought on by pre-marital or extra-marital indiscretions. The fourth is fear that she won't be able to be satisfied or satisfy her husband. The fifth is being too passive during the act. The sixth is a husband who ejaculates before she has climaxed. The seventh is fatigue. The eighth is illness. The ninth is being overweight. The tenth is being unwilling to surrender herself to her husband. The last is having weak vaginal muscles.
[edit] Chapter 10: The Key to the Feminine Response
This chapter explains how Dr. Arnold H. Kegel started training women to exercise their pubococcygeus muscle in order to curb post-partem incontinence. It was discovered that a side-effect of this exercise was to improve women's ability to experience orgasm. The authors recommend an exercise regimen for women seeking to improve their sexual response.
[edit] Chapter 11: The Impotent Man
This chapter gives nineteen reasons why husbands may experience inability to maintain an erection or ejaculate and gives suggestions on how to overcome those problems. The first is simply the onset of age—they'll lose vital energy as they get older. The second is feelings of hate or hostility towards someone else—especially his wife. The third is fear (fear of rejection, fear of being unable to satisfy his wife, fear of being compared with other men, the fear of failure to maintain erection/ejaculate). The fourth is ridicule from his wife. The fifth is feelings of guilt—especially those brought on by pre-marital or extra-marital indiscretions. The sixth is having unreasonable expectations about how he will be able to perform as his age increases. The seventh is obesity. The eighth is poor physical fitness. The ninth is heavy smoking. The tenth is mental pressure from outside concerns. The eleventh is depression. The twelfth is drugs and alcohol. The thirteenth is masturbation. The fourteenth is if his wife has weak vaginal muscles. The fifteenth is a wife who is too passive during the act. The sixteenth is nagging from his wife. The seventeenth is a dominating wife. The eighteenth is premature ejaculation. And the last is retarded ejaculation.
[edit] Chapter 12: Sane Family Planning
The authors express their belief that a husband and wife should produce as many children as they can reasonably manage and deplore several reasons some give for avoiding parenthood. They counter with several reasons why parents should seek to have and raise children. They then give suggestions for contraception that they believe are appropriate for Christians (because they aren't abortifacient). They recommend, in order of reliability, the pill, condoms, diaphragms, vaginal foam, the rhythm method, and coitus interruptus. They recommend against permanent methods, such as vasectomy and having tubes tied.
[edit] Chapter 13: Sex Survey Report
The authors report the results of a survey they conducted. Their intent is to show that a) Christians have more fulfilling sex lives than their non-Christian counterparts and b) Christians don't have the Victorian attitudes about sex that they are stereotyped as having.
[edit] Chapter 14: The Missing Dimension
In this chapter the authors advocate that the most important element to a satisfying sex life and a satisfying life overall is to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. They advocate a Christian lifestyle and suggest that a shared belief in Christ will help a couple overcome incompatibilities.
[edit] Chapter 15: Practical Answers to Common Questions
In this chapter the authors field questions on a variety of topics, including abortion, adultery, birth control, communication, counseling, dating, fantasy, fornication, free love, homosexuality, masturbation, menopause, oral sex, petting, privacy, "September sex", etc.
[edit] References
- ^ LaHaye, Tim, and LaHaye, Beverly. "The Act of Marriage: The Beauty of Sexual Love." Zondervan, Grand Rapids, MI (1998).
Categories: Christianity | Marriage | Orgasm | Sex | Sexuality
