Talk:The Art of the Matter

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Definately not Forsyth's best work.

Here's some more information I wrote on the book: 2. Précis 2.1. Introduction Trumpington Gore has been an extra in hundreds of films but lately work has been scarce and he decides to take a family heirloom to the House of Darcy to be valued in early December. He has no phone and estimates that the painting is worth around £100. The painting was passed on to him from his great-aunt Millicent Gore who got it from her boss Sir Bryan Frobisher’s estate. Frobisher left the UK in 1870 for Florence and made a small fortune exporting Italian wine to England. He was knighted and became British Vice-Consul to Florence before returning to the UK after his wife died of cholera. Millicent worked as his servant until his death after which she seems to have claimed the painting for herself.

The House of Darcy is a respected art house in Knightsbridge specialising in the auction of paintings valued at £5k or above. The Duke of Gateshead is the chairman. Peregrine Slade is the Vice-Chairman and CEO and Sebastian Mortlake is director of the Old Masters department and chairs the Viewing Committee. The painting, labelled D 1601 is assigned to a junior valuer, Benny Evans (25) who works for Mortlake.

Evans only has modest GCSEs (comparable to standard 8) but was hired (in spite of his untidy appearance) because he is a “walking encyclopaedia on Old Masters”. Evans became interested in Renaissance art at the age of 7 after his art teacher showed him a book. He gained experience through hitch-hiking across Europe to visit galleries. Even though Darcy was nearly closed on 22 December, he came in to examine the last hand-ins. Painting D 1601 looked familiar to him but he only realises its value late at night. The following morning he e-mails a letter to Mortlake and Slade stating that he thinks it’s a Sassetta and should be authenticated by Prof. Guido Colenso.

2.2. Auction 1: Slade Cheats Gore And Fires Evans Slade is from an affluent family but has had financial problems lately. He decides to partner up with Reggie Fanshawe of the Fanshawe Gallery. He removes the e-mail sent to Mortlake and arranges for Evans to go to Caithness in Scotland to value a private collection. Slade informs Gore that the painting is worth £6k - £8k and Gore authorises its auction. In January, Fanshawe bids against a fictional rival and eventually buys the painting for £6k. Around £5k is paid over to Gore.

In April Fanshawe puts the painting up for display after having it cleaned. The painting, tempera on poplar wood, depicts the Virgin Mary sitting and gazing upwards as the Archangel Gabriel brings her news that she would soon bear the Son of God. Colenso had authenticated it as being from 1400-1450 painted by Stefano di Giovanni di Consolo (aka Sassetta). Sassetta was one of the first giants of early Italian Renaissance and founded the Siena School. The painting is resold for £6m.

Outraged at their “mistake” Darcy’s board of directors blames Slade. He frames Evans and fires him. Evans explains everything to his girlfriend Suzie Day. Day (22) has peroxided hair and facial piercings. She works for an IT security company founded by a reformed hacker. She motivates Evans to seek revenge with the original owner (Gore). Day hacks into Darcy’s and find Gore’s details using Mortlake’s user id (seb-mort) and password (GOYA). They inform Gore that he has been swindled and the three of them swears to get back at Slade.

2.3. Auction 2: The Trio Embarrass Slade Their first step is to gain access to Slade’s e-mails. This is done by Gore following Slade’s spinster sectary Priscilla Bates in May. Gore poses as a pet paraphernalia salesman and finds out her cat is named after Alamein, a WWII battle in Africa in which Bates’ father died when she was one. Alamein is Bates’ password and Day downloads Slade’s personal e-mails.

The trio’s first project involves sending a fake e-mail from Slade’s friend (Charlie Dawson from the Observer) informing Slade that a Martin Getty might be in town to acquire art. The Getty’s are a wealthy American family. At the next Darcy auction Gore poses as Getty. Evans knows that a Dutch billionaire, Van Den Bosch, wants to acquire a Coorte painting at the auction valued at £120k – £150k. Gore keeps bidding against Jan de Hooft until he finally wins at £1.1m. Gore switches costumes in the men’s room and disappears. Although the trio gains nothing from this it places extra pressure on Slade as the Duke blames him for being ridiculed.

In June Slade hires private investigators to find out if Evans or Gore was involved but the trio fools them into thinking that they had nothing to do with it.

2.4. Auction 3: The Trio Swindles Money From Darcy In July the trio starts on their final scheme. Evans sends a letter to Alan Leigh-Travers Darcy’s director of British Modern and Victorian Paintings claiming to do research for a school project. Evans also sends a letter to Prof. Stephen Carpenter, chief scientist at the Colbert institute (the foremost art lab in London), claiming to do research for a graduate thesis. Beyond all reason, these two people not only personally answer the letters but also sign both replies.

Day gets the name of a forger from her boss and Gore poses a porter to steal Darcy stationary. Peter the Penman asks them £100 to forge two letters and a lab report. Evans gets notorious art counterfeiter Colley Burnside to paint two paintings on old poplar wood for 5% of their profit.

Burnside first paints a painting that looks like it is 500 years old and then covers it with another painting that looks 100 years old. The top painting is title The Game Bag and is an excruciating ugly depiction of two dead partridge hanging from a hook with a shotgun.

Next they take Burnside’s painting to Darcy’s in Suffolk to have it valued. Gore poses as the painter’s grandson – a Scot named Hamish McFee. The painting gets labelled F 608.

In August Leigh-Travers went yachting in the Caribbean and Gore goes back to Darcy to claim his painting. Day changes the computer record to show that the painting was collected by the Colbert Institute. Slade went to Hampshire for the holidays and received a forged letter in Leigh-Travers’ handwriting stating that he suspects F 608 might have a masterpiece beneath The Game Bag and that he has requested Colbert to X-ray it. Posing as a Colbert porter, Gore brings the painting back to Darcy together with a forged letter and lab report from Carpenter claiming that their was indeed a painting beneath The Game Bag. The original painting was probably from a fifteenth- or sixteenth-century Italian painter.

Slade realises that he would not be able to swindle McFee out of this painting as Leigh-Travers and Carpenter already know about it. However, he decides to use the painting to restore his reputation at Darcy. He thinks it best to offer McFee £50k for the painting and then to have it later “discovered” in the Darcy storage. Gore, posing as McFee, refuses the £50k claiming that his grandfather was a brilliant artist and that he would like the painting to be put up for auction.

Early in September Slade asks Darcy’s head porter, Bertram, to bid on the painting in the auction. They agree that a wink of Slade’s left eye would be a signal for Bertram to bid. At the auction Gore poses as Yoshiro Yamamoto from the Osaka gallery and bids a couple of times unsuccessfully on other works. When the horrible The Game Bag gets presented however, Gore keeps on bidding against Bertram. At £50k the room is stunned that anyone wanted to pay so much for such a worthless painting. Leigh-Travers calls the Duke of Gateshead. At £250k Slade’s eye starts twitching from stress and he can no longer stop Bertram from bidding. At £300k Yamamoto concedes and leaves the room. The Duke realises that Bertram was instructed to bid by Slade and summons Slade immediately to his office.

Slade explains the situation and convinces the Duke that he had done the right thing. The ask Edward Hargreaves to quietly remove the top painting. Hargreaves brings the cleaned up painting in and, just as the lab report stated, it shows a beautiful medieval landscape with a donkey staring at the viewer in Renaissance style. The donkey’s organ hung loosely to the ground and in the middle of the painting was a valley with a track running down the centre. On the track, emerging from the valley, was a small but perfectly identifiable Mercedes-Benz. The Duke fires Slade.

2.5. Aftermath Slade’s wife gets all his assets in the divorce and he opens a bar in Antigua. Gore uses Day’s forged letters to open a Barclays’ account in the name of Hamish McFee in the Channel Islands (tax haven) and deposits Darcy’s cheque for £265k into it. £13k goes to Burnside, £150k to Evans and Day and Gore deposits his £100k into a £1k per month annuity fund.

Evans and Day marry and move to Lancashire where he opens a small art gallery and she becomes a freelance programmer. Within a year she had grown out of the peroxide, removed the facial metal and had twin boys.

Pierce Brosman asked that Gore plays a bigger role in the next James Bond movie.

syndicate 11:31, 12 November 2005 (UTC)