Sweater curse

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Among knitters, the term Sweater Curse describes a situation in which a knitter gives a lovingly hand-knit sweater to a significant other, who quickly breaks up with the knitter. Although counter-intuitive, the Sweater Curse has been experienced by a significant minority of knitters;[1][2][3] a recent poll indicated that 15% of active knitters have experienced the sweater curse firsthand, and 41% consider it a possibility that should be taken seriously.[4] A longer name is the Curse of the Love Sweater.

Despite its name, the Sweater Curse is treated in knitting literature not as a superstition governed by paranormal forces, but rather as a real-world pitfall of knitting that has real-world explanations and solutions.[1][5] Several plausible mechanisms for the sweater curse have been proposed, but statistical evidence is lacking; for example, no controlled study has shown that giving a hand-knit sweater is correlated in time with breaking up.

Contents

[edit] Suggested mechanisms of the curse

Several mechanisms of the Sweater Curse have been suggested:[1][3][6][7]

  • Unlucky timing. Knitting a sweater takes a long time, and the relationship dies of natural causes during its making.
  • Rescue mission. The knitter senses subconsciously that the relationship is about to end, and knits a sweater as a dramatic gesture to save it.
  • Overly generous. Knitting a sweater may seem too intimate, too domestic or too binding to the significant other. It can make them realize that the relationship is not reciprocal, that they would not do something as nice for the knitter. Mixed feelings can prompt them to end the relationship before it "gets serious".
  • Aversion. The significant other may simply not want to wear anything hand-knit. A hand-knit sweater can also subject them to ridicule, either because the sweater looks bad (i.e., poorly made or unfashionable) or conveys overly domestic connotations.
  • Misdirected attention. The knitter loves their sweater a little too much, and pesters the significant other about the sweater instead of working on their relationship. Alternatively, the knitter loves to knit too much, and spends too much time with their knitting instead of with the significant other.
  • Delusion. The knitter imagines incorrectly that their significant other likes them, and is not disillusioned before knitting the sweater and giving it to them.

However, alternative hypotheses should also be considered. A hand-knit sweater represents a significant investment of money (typically over $100), effort (~100,000 stitches), time (as much as a year)[8] and romantic imagination.[2] Therefore, it is also plausible to assume that knitters notice break-ups more keenly after giving hand-knit sweaters than after giving lesser gifts. Hence, the time-correlation between giving the sweater and the break-up may be more perceived than real.

[edit] Antidotes to the curse

For many knitters, making a hand-knit gift is an emotional experience, an extended affectionate meditation on the person receiving the gift.[2] A metaphor commonly used by knitters is, "I knit my love into every stitch."[2] However, non-knitting recipients are often unable to appreciate this, unable to see the sweater as a naked expression of love. Moreover, giving too significant a gift too early in a relationship can cause apprehension in the recipient. For the knitter, an interior approach for avoiding disappointment is to accept this serenely. An exterior approach is to match the knitted gift to the stage in the relationship, beginning with scarves, socks, mittens or hats before graduating to sweaters.[9] Many knitters wait until marriage before making a sweater for a significant other.[9][3][6]

A critical first step is to determine whether the recipient would ever wear a hand-knit sweater. For example, a sweater may not suit their clothing style, it could make them too hot, or they may be allergic to wool. If they won't wear a sweater, the knitter should not begin, no matter how much they wish to express their affection. A scarf is sometimes an acceptable gift, and has the advantage of requiring less time and material.

The gift of a handknit sweater may be better received if the knitter involves the significant other in designing the sweater (e.g., in choosing its design, colors and materials) and follows their suggestions, even if the knitter objects.[10] Several books offer additional design advice for avoiding the Sweater Curse.[1][5]

[edit] The reverse sweater curse

The reverse sweater curse states that if you receive a knitted item from your significant other, they are about to break up with you.[citation needed] This version of the curse may result from the knitter trying to dispel guilt over the breakup or giving the significant other a friendly memento of their relationship.

Some knitting patterns provide runic spells that, when knitted into the sweater, are promised to dispel an unwanted significant other.[11] This usage does indeed seem superstitious, unless the significant other can interpret the signs.

[edit] See also

[edit] References

  1. ^ a b c d Manning, Tara Jon (2003). Men in Knits: Sweaters to Knit that He WILL Wear. Loveland, Colorado: Interweave Press. ISBN 1-931499-23-3. 
  2. ^ a b c d Roghaar, L; Wolf M (2002). KnitLit: Sweaters and their stories. New York: Three Rivers Press. ISBN 0-609-80824-9. 
    Roghaar, L; Wolf M (2004). KnitLit (too): Stories from sheep to shawl. New York: Three Rivers Press. ISBN 1-4000-5149-5. 
    Roghaar, L; Wolf M (2005). KnitLit the third: We spin more yarns. New York: Three Rivers Press. ISBN 1-4000-9760-6. 
  3. ^ a b c Welsh, K (Winter 2002). "The sweater curse". Knitty 2. 
  4. ^ Who Are We? The Anatomy of a Knitter, As Revealed in the KR Polls. Knitter's Review (2005).
  5. ^ a b Pearl-McPhee, Stephanie (2006). Knitting Rules! The Yarn Harlot's Bag of Knitting Tricks. Storey Publishing, LLC. ISBN 1580178340. 
  6. ^ a b yclept (2005). Sweater curse. everything2.com.
  7. ^ Kit is Knitting (2006). My thoughts behind the sweater curse. kitknits.blogspot.com.
  8. ^ Righetti, Maggie (1990). Sweater Design in Plain English. New York: St. Martin's Press. ISBN 0-312-05164-6. 
  9. ^ a b Durant, Judith (2006). Never knit your man a sweater (unless you've got the ring). Storey Publishing, LLC. ISBN 1580176461. 
  10. ^ Feeley, P (2006). Avoiding the curse of the Boyfriend Sweater. High Country Knitwear.
  11. ^ Rigdon, Renée; Zabet Stewart. Curse Your Boyfriend. The AntiCraft. Retrieved on 2006-07-02.
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