Talk:Stelle, Illinois

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[edit] Some revisions to recent edit

Hi Pastoralist. Noticed your recent edit, most of which seem all to the good, especially your reduction of the promotional tone of the "Stelle, Illinois" article and maintenance of NPOV. Did notice a couple of problems, and took the liberty to change some things.

-You wrote "...secret organizations thousands of years old called the 'Brotherhoods'." For this to be correct, however, it would have to read "...secret organizations, thousands of years old, called the 'Brotherhoods'." Seems a bit halting. So I substituted "...ancient, secretive organizations called the 'Brotherhoods'." I believe "ancient" adequately conveys that the Brotherhoods are thousands of years old, and this sounds cleaner to me.

-You wrote "Stelle also boasts a community garden co-op, a Monday night dinner co-op and, until recently, maintained a learning co-op for young children." As written, "maintained" would have to become a second predicate after "boasts," though the sentence is not written that way. If we eliminate "maintained" the sentence becomes simpler with "boasts" acting on all three "co-ops." Hence the change to "Stelle also boasts a community garden co-op, a Monday night dinner co-op and, until recently, a learning co-op for young children."

-You wrote "Until recently many properties in Stelle were on the market, but in the last two years all available homes have been purchased, though several lots remain for expansion." Some redundancy with the two "until recently"'s in close proximity. Also, this statement may be true at this particular moment (though the Stelle Community web site does list two properties for sale--107 Sun St. and 134B Tamarind Court), but other properties may come on the market at any time. Might it be better to keep the general statement, as per the previous edit?--"Occasionally an existing home will come on the market, and fully developed lots are availabe for new home construction." Made the change; please let me know what you think.

-Made a couple of other very minor changes, "which" to "that" and so on.

All the other changes do enhance the encylopedic quality of the article. Really love that about Wikipedia; the team effort keeps making things better. Hope my revisions to your revisions seem appropriate. Thanks. Founders4 10:53, 4 July 2006 (UTC)