Speed dating

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Speed dating is a formalized matchmaking process or dating system whose purpose is to encourage people to meet a large number of new people. Its origins are credited to Rabbi Yaacov Deyo of Aish HaTorah, originally as a way to help Jewish singles meet and marry.[1][2][3] "SpeedDating", as a single word, is a registered trademark of Aish HaTorah. "Speed dating", as two separate words, is often used as a generic term for similar events.

The first speed-dating event took place at Pete’s Café in Beverly Hills in late 1998.[1] Soon afterward, several commercial services began offering secular round-robin dating events across the United States. By 2000, speed dating had really taken off, perhaps boosted by its portrayal in shows such as Sex and the City as something that glamorous people did. Supporters argue that speed dating saves time, as most people decide if they are romantically compatible very quickly, and first impressions are often permanent.

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[edit] Organization

Men and women are rotated to meet each other over a series of short "dates", usually lasting from 3 to 8 minutes depending on the organization running the event. At the end of each interval, the organizer rings a bell or clinks a glass to signal the participants to move on to the next date. At the end of the event participants submit to the organizers a list of who they would like to provide their contact information to. If there is a match, contact information is forwarded to both parties. Contact information cannot be traded during the initial meeting, in order to reduce pressure (especially on women) to accept or reject a suitor to their face.

These events typically require advance registration, often an online prepayment by credit card. However, they may accept a few walk-ins when needed to balance the gender ratio. Some services make use of waitlists when signing up to strive for exactly the same number of men and women, while others have a more "party" atmosphere and only aim for an approximately matching number.

There are many speed dating events now in the UK and the US. Many of these simply specify an age range for ladies and gentlemen; sometimes a slightly older range is specified for men. On the other hand, many organizers offer niche events such as nights for graduates only, gays and lesbians, older men with younger women and vice versa, book lovers, ethnic events, and of course the original niche event, religious affiliation.

ǁ==Advantages==

Proponents of speed dating cite its advantages as:

  • It allows singles to meet a large number of new people in one easy event.
  • It is especially efficient for busy professionals or those that have limited social circles.
  • It levels the playing field for men and women.
  • Men do not have to play their traditional role as the aggressor—both men and women are forced to meet and interact.
  • The structured interaction helps shy people to overcome their inhibitions.
  • The time limit ensures that no one is stuck talking to someone longer than they wish.
  • The matching process occurs after the event, ensuring people do not have to face rejection in person. This helps avoid awkward situations and uneasy interactions between participants during the event.
  • Participants are almost always guaranteed that the people they meet are single or at least looking. This is generally more difficult to discern when one goes to a bar or a club.
  • It is something that women who like to go out in groups can do together.[4]
  • Participants are usually grouped in their preferred age range.
  • It is cost efficient. Speed dating is essentially numerous dates for the price of one.

[edit] Compared to bars

  • There is no need for an opening pick-up line or a wingman to approach someone in order to initiate a chat
  • No one person can monopolize chatting with another person, i.e. every guy has an equal opportunity and amount of time allotted to chat with every girl

[edit] Compared to clubs

  • There is no need to be skilled in dancing in order to initiate contact
  • Clubs usually play loud music which makes chatting difficult

[edit] Criticisms and disadvantages

Critics of speed dating claim:

  • It reinforces first impressions, which may not be reliable indicators of long-term compatibility.
  • It tends to put less extroverted subjects at a disadvantage.
  • Participants who have uneasiness or animosity towards each other are still forced to politely chat with each other in the time allotted. For example, if a participant has already rejected another individual in a previous speed dating event, they are still forced to awkwardly mingle with each other during their speed dating round.
  • It provides only superficial knowledge of another person due to the short time available for introductions.
  • Feedback / gratification is delayed. Participants normally have to wait a day or two to get the results of a match. In other social events, there is almost instant result; usually with the girl giving her number out to a guy.
  • The traditional speed dating model fails to match participants in any meaningful way.

Despite these criticisms, speed dating continues to grow in popularity.

[edit] Scientific research

There have been several studies of the round-robin dating systems themselves, as well as studies of interpersonal attraction that are relevant to these events. Other studies found speed-dating data useful as a way to observe individual choices among random participants.

[edit] First impressions

A 2005 study at the University of Pennsylvania of a speed dating event found that most people made their choices within the first three seconds of meeting. Furthermore, issues such as religion, previous marriages, and smoking habits were found to play much less of a role than expected. [5] [6]

A 2006 study in Edinburgh, Scotland showed that 45% of the women participants in a speed-dating event and 22% of the men had come to a decision within the first 30 seconds. It also found that dialogue concerning travel resulted in more matches than dialogue about films.[7]

[edit] Unconscious preferences

Malcolm Gladwell's book on split-second decision-making, Blink, introduces two professors at Columbia University who run speed-dating events. Drs. Sheena Iyengar and Raymond Fisman found, from having the participants fill out questionnaires, that what people said they wanted in an ideal mate did not match their unconscious preferences.[8] [9]

[edit] Olfaction and the MHC

A 1995 study at the University of Bern showed that women appear to be attracted to the smell of men who have different MHC profiles from their own, and that oral contraceptives reversed this effect.[10]

The MHC is a region of the human genome involved with immune function. Because parents with more diverse MHC profiles would be expected to produce offspring with stronger immune systems, dissimilar MHC may play a role in sexual selection.

A speed "date" lasting several minutes should be long enough for the MHC hypothesis to come into play, provided the participants are seated close enough together.

[edit] Olfaction and pheromones

The TV newsmagazine 20/20 once sent both a male and a female set of twins to a speed dating event. One of each set was wearing pheromones, and the ones wearing pheromones received more matches[11].

[edit] Age and height preference

A 2006 study at the University of Essex and the IZA in Bonn [12] into the relative effects of preference versus opportunity in mate selection showed, while concluding that opportunity was more important than preference, that a woman's age is the single most important factor determining demand by men. Although it is less important for men, age is still a highly significant factor determining demand by women.

The same study found that a man's height had a significant impact upon his desirability, with a reduction in height causing a decrease in desirability at the rate of 5% per inch.

[edit] Selectivity

Studies of speed dating events generally show more selectivity among women than among men. For instance, the Penn study reported that the average man was chosen by 34% of the women and the average woman was chosen by 49% of the men.[5]

[edit] In popular culture

Speed dating has been featured in several television programs and movies:

[edit] Television

  • Sex and the City "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" (2000): Miranda, the lawyer, pretends to be a stewardess at the event[13]
  • Providence "The Mating Dance" (2001): Syd goes to a "speed dating" event.[14]
  • Kath and Kim "Gay" (2002): Kim, estranged from her husband of 2 months, goes with her friend Sharon to a speed dating event.[15]
  • Reba "Switch" (2002) : Reba's daughter, Cheyenne, convinces her mother to try speed-dating. [16]
  • Monk "Mr. Monk Goes to the Theater" (2003): Adrian Monk tries to talk to a suspect at a speed dating event. [17]
  • Dead Like Me "Hurry" (2004): Daisy goes speed dating to take the soul of one of the men participating. [18]
  • Gilmore Girls "But Not as Cute as Pushkin" (2004): Featured Rory's friend Paris attempting speed dating after the death of her professor boyfriend.[19]
  • Queer Eye for the Straight Guy "Queer Eye For The Shy Guy" (2004): a straight man is made over to attend a speed dating party.[20]
  • 60 Minutes II "60 Minutes II" (2004): Featured speed dating in the segment called "Love in the 21st Century" [21]
  • The Vicar of Dibley "Happy New Year" (2005): Geraldine Granger receives a ticket to a speed dating event for her 40th birthday.[22]
  • Beauty and the Geek "Episode 204" (2006): Featured speed dating as one of the challenges faced by the "geeks".[23]
  • The Bill "Episode 405" (2006): Yvonne Hemmingway persuades Honey Harman to go with her to a speed-dating event.[24]
  • The L Word "Lifeline" (2006): Alice and Kit go to a speed dating event.[25]
  • Simpsons "Regarding Margie" (2006): Marge Simpson, during a bout of amnesia, went on a speed-dating event.
  • Various dating game shows such as The 5th Wheel
  • Music video "You" (2006): performed by R&B artist Lloyd featuring Lil Wayne

[edit] Movies

[edit] Theatre

  • Speed Dating - The Play. Richard Huish College, Taunton, December 2006. Written and directed by Rebecca Ngakane. Part of the college's Dramafest for new writing.

[edit] Other

  • In the UK, the Local Government Association with the Solent Peoples Theatre developed "political speed dating" in 2004. Not a niche dating event, these are run by local councils to introduce young constituents to their representatives. [26]

[edit] See also

[edit] References

  1. ^ a b SpeedDating® History
  2. ^ "The Road to Romance". Harvard Magazine (March-April 2003): 28-28A. Retrieved on 2007-02-09. 
  3. ^ Speed dating with Yaacov and Sue Deyo. NPR. Retrieved on 2007-02-08.
  4. ^ The Independent (London) Jan 19 2003 via Findarticles.com: Speed-dating boom hit by shortage of men
  5. ^ a b "HurryDate: Mate preferences in action"—a study done by evolutionary psychologists at the University of Pennsylvania
  6. ^ "UPenn: Falling in Love in Three Minutes or Less"—press release
  7. ^ "Men, you have 30 seconds to impress women"—The Scotsman Apr 14 2006
  8. ^ Gladwell, Malcolm (2005). Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking. Little, Brown. ISBN 0-316-17232-4.  pp. 61-66
  9. ^ Nerve.com: The Storytelling Problem (excerpt from Blink)
  10. ^ Psychology Today Mar/Apr 1996: The Smell of Love
  11. ^ ABC News: Are Pheromones a Secret Weapon For Dating?
  12. ^ Can anyone be the One? Evidence on Mate Selection from Speed DatingIZA Discussion paper October 2006
  13. ^ HBO.com: Sex and the City
  14. ^ TV.com: Providence
  15. ^ TV.com: Kath & Kim
  16. ^ TV.com "Reba"
  17. ^ IMDb "Mr. Monk Goes to the Theater
  18. ^ TV.com: Dead Like Me
  19. ^ TV.com: Gilmore Girls
  20. ^ Bravo: Queer Eye
  21. ^ Love in the 21st Century
  22. ^ TV.com: "The Vicar of Dibley"
  23. ^ TV.com: Beauty and the Geek
  24. ^ IMDB.com: "The Bill" 405
  25. ^ TV.com: The L Word
  26. ^ LGA: Political speed dating
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