Sketches on Letterman
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The Late Show with David Letterman, along with its predecessor, Late Night with David Letterman on NBC regularly features different sketches that follow the monologue and precede interviews with guests. Many of the skits have been featured on both shows (with slight modifications to avoid legal problems).
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[edit] Kalter introduction
Announcer Alan Kalter's introduction of Letterman, while technically not a skit, assigns a bizarre modification to Letterman's name and appears at the beginning of every show. ("And now: Microscopic Sea Creature, David Letterman!") Letterman's title changes every night and often makes reference to a current event. ("And now: Disenfranchised French Youth, David Letterman!") Prior to September 11, 2001, the first line of Kalter's introductions contained humorous non sequiturs ("From New York! Where the rats hate the subways, too!"). Once The Late Show returned to air on September 17, 2001, the introduction changed simply to, "From New York! The greatest city in the world!" It has not changed since.
[edit] Sketch participants
While Letterman himself often participated in many of the show's non-"desk comedy" routines in its earlier years (as well as on Late Night), over time he has increasingly preferred to have others star in them instead. Letterman is now rarely featured in any of the show's frequent pre-taped bits.
Kalter, bandleader and sidekick Paul Shaffer, and Hello Deli proprietor Rupert Jee are often utilized instead in comedy routines, as are stage manager Biff Henderson, stagehands Pat Farmer and Kenny Sheehan, handyman George Clarke, "cue card boy" Tony Mendez, head carpenter Harold Larkin, cameraman Dave Dorsett, assistant Stephanie Birkitt, and Johnny Dark (a personal comedy friend of Letterman's).
Letterman's mother, Dorothy, also makes appearances (via satellite from Indianapolis) from time to time, including each Thanksgiving. She perhaps rose to fame mostly as a result of her nightly reporting from the 1994 Winter Olympics.
Former recurring players from the show include Sirajul Islam and Mujibur Rahman (employees of a nearby gift store which has since relocated), Calvert DeForest, now-retired writer Gerard Mulligan, and scenic designer Kathleen Ankers (reprising her Late Night role of "Peggy, the Foulmouthed Chambermaid"; on CBS, she was the equally censored "Helen, the Ill-tempered Ticket Lady").
Countless random cameo appearances had been made during the span of the show, most notably in the earlier years by the late Tony Randall, with Regis Philbin filling that void in recent years.
For a while, Letterman took great delight in making fun of his employer, continuing a tradition established at NBC, with senior executive Les Moonves often serving as the target of his abuse. In time, Letterman's relationship with Moonves has improved; a segment titled "More with Les" features jocular phone calls between Letterman and Moonves.
Letterman also has a knack for consuming food products and drinks that appear on his show. Among the items that he has consumed are: wine from a bottle used for a cooking demonstration; various kinds of liquor (while quipping "We're gonna lose our liquor license"); Popeye's "Full Flavor Green Beans;" "motor oil" (actually chocolate syrup) from a bottle that bore a "Quaker State" label; Red Bull; liquid from a bottle that supposedly contained Wite-Out; pills from boxes labeled "Lipitor" and "Cialis" (obviously not really the drugs); and even cosmetic products. On one occasion, Dave took a healthy swig of "low-carb suntan lotion" and immediately spit it out, having discovered that it actually was suntan lotion.
[edit] Alan Kalter
Announcer Alan Kalter is frequently used in comedy bits, often with Kalter as the butt of the joke:
- Kalter the Pervert
- In some skits, Kalter is portrayed as a deluded sexual deviant, often referring to himself as "Big Red." Letterman will frequently follow them up by jokingly commenting to Shaffer on Kalter's disturbing, sickening nature, while Kalter grins mischievously. Often such skits begin with Letterman informing the audience that Kalter had approached Letterman prior to the show (about which Letterman often adds, "I've asked him not to do that"), and explaining that Kalter had asked to comment on a current news or pop cultural event.
- Kalter then begins a monologue where he speaks directly to the camera, setting up the nature of the topic (often the separation of a public couple) in a serious manner. He then addresses a separate, closer camera in a sexually provocative manner as amorous music plays in the background. The material is often a series of double entendre, with Kalter offering to romantically console the woman that is the center of the issue, and ends with him making passionate moans. A disturbed Letterman then interrupts Kalter and chides him for behaving inappropriately. Kalter often ends the bit by making a provocative quip to Letterman.
- Kalterworld
- Occasionally, Kalter will use his segments to promote "Kalterworld," a supposed web site selling "the finest in adult toys, games, and novelties." The Kalterworld.com url leads to the official Late Show web site.
- "Alan Kalter Makes Your Product Sound Sexy"
- Kalter promotes an actual commercial product (such as Ajax) in a provocative, suggestive manner. He then pours the product on his head and smears it on his body, often moaning as he does so. A bland voice-over then encourages companies to participate in the segment by submitting their own product to a particular address.
- Kalter the Singer
- Kalter is introduced with the implication that he will provide a serious commentary on current events, but instead exuberantly sings a contemporary pop song filled with sexual innuendos (often from the female perspective). Songs thus far have included "My Humps" on "Alan Kalter's Political Roundup", "Don't Cha" on "Alan Kalter's Mideast Update" and "London Bridge." As he performs, Kalter struts across the stage with a disturbed and annoyed Letterman visible at his desk, and ultimately exits at the other side.
- Kalter Gets Maimed
- The show will often employ bits where severe bodily harm is supposedly inflicted on Kalter (such as when a cocktail waitress walks across the stage in Kalter's direction and then tosses the drink into his face). He then writhes on the ground groaning and acting as if in serious pain. A wry Letterman will sometimes advise an inattentive Kalter to use a medication normally used for more mild injuries, such as Neosporin or Ibuprofin.
- The Guy Who Beats Up Alan
- In one recurring gag, Kalter will make a statement on a particular topic, only to have a large man appear from nowhere and object to Kalter's comments. He then proceeds to pummel him, which results in Kalter rolling on the ground in agony, and storms off backstage. Letterman will often amusedly ridicule the obviously fake nature of the violence, as the man's blows never come anywhere near Kalter, despite Kalter's best efforts to sell his pain.
- "TV's Uncle Jerry"
- In 2006, Alan began to introduce himself by saying "I'm Alan Kalter, TV's Uncle Jerry", much to Letterman's delight at first, but over time Letterman would regard the moniker with faux-irritation, which appeared to be part of the joke. In August of that year, several weeks after the bit started, the Late Show aired a clip from a new, fake CBS domestic sitcom entitled "Oh, Brother!" where Kalter played the aforementioned "Uncle Jerry" character. In the clip, Jerry abandons babysitting his brother's children on his wedding anniversary to instead join a friend at a bar who had met two flight attendants. He then uses a would-be catch-phrase: "Hey, Uncle Jerry's gonna get busy!" Despite introducing the clip with some enthusiasm, Letterman quickly dismissed it afterwards, saying "That sucked! That just sucked!"
- "Alan Kalter's Campaign Roundup"
- A near-daily running gag presented late in the 2000 presidential election season began with Letterman introducing Kalter, who would ostensibly give a summary of the latest campaign news. Instead, Kalter would perform an energetic rendition of the chorus to "Who Let the Dogs Out?" which was a popular and ubiquitous song at the time, and walk across the stage. In the skit's later occurrences, Kalter would sometimes rip off his shirt as he sang (revealing a pale and flabby physique), while adding a manic and deranged tone to his performance. Kalter has demonstrated a compulsion to disrobe in many of his other segments before and since.
- Alan Punches Someone Out
- In another long-running gag, Kalter would take issue with something said at his expense, such as a Top Ten List entry, or a letter read during the "CBS Mailbag" segment. Kalter would press Letterman about the statement, asking "Did he really say that?" and Letterman would confirm its accuracy. Kalter would then leave the stage to hunt down the person who said it, usually up in the Late Show offices. During his transit, an individual would often greet Kalter with "Hi, Alan!" only to be ignored. Upon finding the guilty party, Kalter would then punch him out and walk away with a look of satisfaction. In one instance, the person on the receiving end was Regis Philbin, who had just been shown in a "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" clip where a question described Kalter as "creepy."
[edit] Regular sketches
When Letterman moved to CBS and began the Late Show, several of Late Night's long-running comedy bits made the move with him, including perhaps his best known, the Top Ten List. Letterman renamed a few of his regular bits to avoid legal problems over trademark infringement (NBC cited that what he did on Late Night was "intellectual property" of the network). For example, "Viewer Mail" on NBC became the "CBS Mailbag", and Larry "Bud" Melman began to use his real name, Calvert DeForest.
One recurring sketch on both the NBC and CBS shows has been the destruction of household items by various methods including explosives, steamrollers, and - most often - throwing them off the roof of the Ed Sullivan Theater. While popular with fans, Letterman has gradually lessened the frequency of such segments in recent years.
The Late Show is well known for its repeated absurdist segments, often taking the form of competitions or audience participation. The charm of such segments is often that they are completely pointless, yet are taken seriously by Letterman and all involved.
[edit] Top Ten List
The Top Ten List appears daily on The Late Show, and remains one of the few regular segments carried over from Late Night. It is often the last comedic segment presented prior to the show's first guest. List topics are often inspired by current news and pop cultural events, with typical lists bearing titles such as "Top Ten Signs..." and "Top Ten Reasons..." The Top Ten List is compiled by the show's writing staff, and is usually read by Letterman, although the show occasionally uses guest presenters.
For a long time, the Top Ten Lists were said to have been written in a so-called "Home Office" (no relation to the same agency in the British Government). There were various Home Offices before the part was dropped, but the list included Sioux City, Iowa; Grand Rapids, Michigan; and Wahoo, Nebraska - all actual, extant towns. (Late Show staffer Mike McIntee's nightly online recap of the show, the "Wahoo Gazette" is named after the Nebraska town.)
[edit] Great Moments in Presidential Speeches
The near-daily segment presents a series of three video excerpts, the first two of which usually consist of Franklin Roosevelt's "The only thing to fear... is fear itself!" and John F. Kennedy's "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country." The third excerpt features George W. Bush in an unintentionally comical moment, often during press conferences or townhouse gatherings. The excerpts are also often taken out of context for humorous effect, such as when Bush declares, "My kids can't read!"
The two "set-up" excerpts initially consisted of a variety of famous "speech moments," including those of other past presidents, but over time it solely came to consist of the aforementioned Roosevelt and Kennedy clips, perhaps a result of the Late Show's penchant for repetitive humor.
In recent times, the Kennedy clip has often superimposed a Late Show staffer (dressed in formal period garb) over a spectator to Kennedy's right. The staffer most often seen inserted is announcer Alan Kalter, although on rare occasions it is costume designer Susan Hum.
[edit] Will It Float?
An item is dropped into a tank of water by two models, often referred to by Letterman as "The Hi-Ho Girls." The segment starts out with Kalter identifying a household item that will be tested, and a faux prize that is supposedly at stake (often this is a luxurious item which is only featured on-screen for a split-second). A picture of that prize is flashed on screen for a split second. Letterman and Shaffer debate the buoyant properties of the item before they each decide on whether it will sink or float (a frequent deciding factor is the nature of the item's container).
Two models then drop the item into the tank while the Late Show "Hula Hoop Girl" (Anna Jack) and "Grinder Girl" (Kiva Kahl) perform on either side of the tank. Depending upon the outcome, large flashing words appear reading, "It Floats!" (accompanied by a ringing bell) or "It Sinks!" (accompanied by a buzzer).
Letterman often espouses the educational merit of the game in jest, citing positive feedback from parents, educators, and clergymen. He has acknowledged that while the segment is not popular with the Late Show staff, he insists on continuing it for his own amusement. According to Letterman, the skit was adapted from a similar BBC programme entitled "Is It Buoyant?" He also often advertises the (fictional) "Will It Float" home game, which "has everything you need in a box to play the game for only $19.99." The game consists only of a list of suggested household items. Recently, Dave has also been advertising the Playstation 3 version of the "Will It Float?" home game, and in the past would highlight the Xbox 360 version. After the game is over, Letterman often addresses the women by saying he will see them at "the big 'Will It Float?' party" after the show.
 The Will It Float? |
 The Will It Float? Home Game - Travel Edition |
 The Will It Float? |
[edit] Is This Anything?
In the increasingly rare segment, the stage curtain is raised to reveal an individual or team performing an unusual stunt, often accompanied by music from the CBS Orchestra. Flanking the performer, who varies, are two previous performers who became regulars for the segment:
- The "Hula Hoop Girl" (Anna Jack), who spins numerous hula hoops around different parts of her body, and
- The "Grinder Girl" (Kiva Kahl), who operates a hand-held grinder against metal parts of her costume, producing sparks.
After about thirty seconds the curtain is lowered and Letterman discusses with Shaffer whether the act was "something" or "nothing." As the segment continued over the course of time, Letterman would increasingly express disinterest in the featured performer, opting instead to admire the Grinder Girl. Shaffer in turn would often admit to having been too distracted with his performance of the music.
Is This Anything lay dormant for almost a year before it was resurrected on the March 22, 2006 episode. A man balanced himself on a ladder and juggled: Paul voted a clear "nothing", and Dave was going to vote "something" before he noticed a safety mat. Dave then concurred with Paul.
[edit] Small Town News
Often presented on Mondays, Letterman presents a series of actual news items, advertisements, and police blotter excerpts which are shown to be unintentionally humorous. In earlier incarnations, Letterman would precede the segment by asking the audience to "please wait for the humorous comment," which consisted of him reciting a scripted follow-up to each news item. While this ostensibly differentiated the segment from Jay Leno's similar and more well-known "Headlines," the current revival of "Small Town News" only includes an occasional impromptu remark from Letterman.
[edit] Audience Participation Games
Thursday episodes usually include one of three rotating variations of audience participation segments. Each game starts with Letterman making small talk with each of the featured audience members, asking about their background and occupations, often with humorous results. When the individual has completed their portion, they are given a gift certificate to a local restaurant as well as random gift items.
- Know Your Current Events
- In what is described by Letterman as "America's Fastest Growing Quiz Sensation"), a "contestant" is chosen at random to play a quiz game. He or she first chooses a category. Besides the title category, there are often a total of "six big ways to win big," with other categories being topical and often esoteric, and rarely reappearing. Some of these have included "Know Your Home Depot Locations in Delaware", "Know Your Late Show Production Accountant Joe DeGeorge" and "Know Your Shocking Facts about Peter Jennings."
- A regular category is "Know Your Cuts of Meat," which itself consists of five categories: beef, lamb, veal, pork, and "variety meats." After playing, the individual is also rewarded with a box of assorted meat cuts from "Lobel's: pound for pound, the finest butcher shop in the world."
- Throughout the course of the segment's history on the show, Dave has varied back and forth between discreetly feeding the contestants the answers, and making them guess.
- Stump the Band
- This is a variation of the segment from Johnny Carson's tenure on the Tonight Show. A pre-selected audience member requests an obscure song from the CBS Orchestra, which then performs a humorous pre-scripted song based only on the title of the requested song. The band will then jokingly insist that they've correctly played the correct song, only to be told otherwise by the individual, who then performs the actual song.
- Audience Show and Tell
- This revolves around a pre-selected audience member relating an anecdote, presenting a personal item of note, or demonstrating a hidden talent.
[edit] Fun Facts
Usually presented on Fridays, the segment consists of Letterman reading a series of random trivia, records, and statistics. They are provided by an acquaintance at the Federal Bureau of Miscellaneous Information, a supposed subsection of the United States Census Bureau. The segment often begins with Letterman presenting a few actual facts to set up the premise (although they are often of a humorous nature in their own right and are mistaken by some audience members as made-up). He then presents several humorous, fictional "facts." Most of these are of an absurdist nature, such as "The first pair of binoculars had a 1x magnification."
The segment was initially presented on the show sporadically before being made a regular weekly feature.
[edit] Hello Deli Games
A camera crew is sent to Rupert Jee in the neighboring Hello Deli, where Jee is asked to invite a potential player from the crowd outside. The player introduces his or herself, relates his or her background, and is told what prize is to be won. Regardless of the outcome, the player is also awarded a "Hello Deli Platter" by the Hi-Ho Girls.
Recurring games include "Stop the Clock" (where the confused player helplessly attempts to stop a clock from counting down to zero) and "What's on the iPod?" (where the player must guess what song is being performed by Jee as it is played on an iPod). Other random games involve a player searching for a hidden item in the deli, and guessing the nature of an item obscured under an item of clothing worn by Jee (such as a Hilary Clinton-esque pantsuit).
[edit] Stupid Pet Tricks/Stupid Human Tricks
These segments were carried over from Late Night, and consist of three pre-selected participants (or in the case of "Pet Tricks," pets and their owners), who each demonstrate an unusual talent or stunt on the stage. Letteman will often precede the segment with the tongue-in-cheek warning: "Remember, this is not a competition, it is only an exhibition — please, no wagering." While still a trademark feature of the Late Show, the segment has been featured on a more sporadic basis in recent years. The show's regular "Audience Show and Tell" bit will often include an audience member performing a "Stupid Human Trick"-type act.
[edit] Explod-O-Pop
Explod-O-Pop is a brand of popping corn, and is usually given as a prize to the participants of the audience participation games. Letterman often describes the product using various slogans such as "America's Only Atomic Popping Corn," "It's Carbolicious," and "It's Contaminated with Flavor!"
It can also be purchased online at CBS' online store, with the proceeds benefitting the American Foundation for Courtesy and Grooming, a charity of Letterman's which contributes its proceeds to a wide variety of foundations, most of which are of a health, youth, or educational nature.
[edit] Non-regular sketches
- “Ape Or Artist?”
- A game in which an abstract painting is shown to Letterman and Shaffer, who then discuss whether it was an ape or an artist who painted it. After the first couple of instances, Letterman based his guesses more on psychology than the painting itself (saying things along the lines of "They want me to think it's an artist this time, so I'm going with ape"). After a while, the game became "Ape or Artist or Elephant?"
- "Fun with Rupert"
- One of the most popular pre-taped pieces during the show's earlier years was a "Candid Camera"-style bit which featured the normally mild-mannered Rupert Jee interacting with ordinary, unsuspecting people around the city. Letterman - usually hidden in a van - would covertly observe the action and provide a disguised Jee (wearing a cap, glasses, backpack, and headphones) with ad-libbed instructions via two-way communication. This resulted in Jee performing humorous and unusual antics while amusing, confusing, and in some cases irritating, various victims. The segment was ceased after an unaired incident in which Letterman would only explain that a man had pulled a knife on Jee. It was unofficially revived in a few live bits in 2006 where Jee (not in disguise) would visit a neighboring restaurant and perform similar antics.
- George Clarke's "It's a Fact"
- Handyman Clarke is seen backstage, bloodied and severely injured from an earlier incident. He addresses the camera, indirectly explaining the incident by imparting advice such as ”Women on the street don't like to be called 'Candy Pants.'" He will then point to the camera and say, "It's a fact!”
- "Pat and Kenny Read Oprah Transcripts"
- Stagehands Pat Farmer and Kenny Sheehan read an actual transcript of an episode of "The Oprah Winfrey Show," usually involving a female celebrity guest, with Farmer taking the part of Winfrey and Sheehan the guest. Each read their lines in a distinctly monotone fashion, in humorous contrast to the enthusiastic nature of the original interview (which often includes Winfrey utterances such as "Woo hoo!" to Letterman's amusement). During the reading, Sheehan sports a cigarette consisting mostly of ash which rarely breaks off. On some occasions the absurd nature of the bit will cause the two to break character (more often just Sheehan). The segment starts with Farmer and Sheehan performing a brief re-enactment of Winfrey’s opening sequence ("Run on with Oprah").
- Pat Farmer's "Surprise, You're on TV!"
- Presented as a supposed clip from Farmer’s own reality prank show, Farmer is seen standing next to an unsuspecting male victim in an ordinary setting, such as an elevator. Farmer is then shown to be holding a baseball bat, which he uses to strike the man in the pelvic area. As the man doubles over in pain, Farmer will address him and point to the camera, saying "Surprise, you’re on TV!" Ostensibly this is a blunt satire of reality shows which utilize lowbrow physical humor, such as "Jackass", as well as slapstick shows such as "America's Funniest Home Videos."
- "Psychic Sandwich"
- In the Hello Deli, Deborah Lynn - a self-described "intuitive" - attempts to guess the sandwich being made by Jee, which are all named after various Late Show staffers. Lynn, who is blindfolded, had never successfully named a sandwich. In 2005, a variation of the game involving chocolates was played, in which Lynn picked up a piece at random before guessing its content. On her second try, Lynn successfully guessed "nougat." On another episode later that year, a variation was played involving Jee’s Slurpee-like drinks, and Lynn correctly guessed "cherry" on her first try. In these segments, Lynn is often asked by Letterman to explain the difference between a psychic and intuitive.
- "Sorry, Tom"
- Letterman will explain that while not a schedule guest, actor Tom Hanks is waiting backstage to make a surprise appearance. Hanks is then shown in the green room, smiling and waving to the delight of the audience. Letterman then informs Hanks that the show doesn’t have enough time for him, causing Hanks to yell at an individual off-screen (ostensibly including obscenities). In reality, the footage of Hanks is a recycled clip from his visit on a much older episode, recorded specifically for later use in this bit. A notable use of this bit occurred during an interview with Hanks' own actor son, Colin. (Hanks also does many other comedy bits for the show whenever he's a guest, from making a glass-breaking noise, to a memorable "Audience Q & A" where he posed as a seat-filler for a member of the audience and was told "Wanna get outta my seat now, Fathead" by the angry woman.)
- Susan Hum
- As Letterman presents a comedy bit or converses with Shaffer, costume designer Hum will approach his desk carrying a food or drink item. Only after some time will Letterman acknowledge Hum, who will then inform him of the item she has with her. She then stands silently as Letterman attempts to proceed with the show. After noticing that she is still there, he will politely inform her that he is not interested in the item, provoking Hum to angrily insult Letterman (and sometimes throw the item to the floor) and walk off stage.
- "Trump or Monkey?"
- Played in the Hello Deli, the game involves a contestant being presented by Jee with two photos of monkeys, and a photo of celebrity businessman Donald Trump. Only the tops of the heads are visible, with the rest covered by a card. The contestant then attempts to guess which of the photos is Trump's. Around the release of the film Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith in 2005, a variation of the game called "Trump or Wookiee?" was played.
The following is a partial list of recurring comedy bits that now appear on the show on a sporadic basis, as well as other notable bits from the show's past:
- Alan Kalter's "Are You F*cking Kidding Me?" segment, which questions the sanity behind major news stories (for example, after the Michael Jackson verdict, Kalter's response: "Are You F*cking Kidding Me?!!")
- Putting away the Late Show Bear. A man in a bear suit is pushed and locked into a closet. The last time this sketch was played, a young intern lost control of the bear and it went on a rampage.
- Alan Kalter's "Oh No You Didn't!" in which Alan mentions a recent news story (such as a 5-week working vacation George W. Bush had once announced) and then says "Oh No You Di-int!", which is immediately followed by a mention of a celebrity who has recently done something which Alan finds sexy, and a "Oh, yes you did."
- An overweight man pretending to be a prominent athlete of the day, usually Lance Armstrong, but also a winning NASCAR driver or professional golfer, the jockey who won the previous weekend's Kentucky Derby, etc.), but always dressed in Armstrong's yellow Discovery Team jersey. He is introduced with, "Ladies and gentleman, name of athlete" while riding a bicycle through the aisles of the theatre. This segment is always accompanied by the CBS Orchestra playing the Ike and Tina Turner version of Rollin' On The River On the August 21, 2006 show, the segment was mixed up even further, with an introduction of Tiger Woods, and a caption of Floyd Landis.
- The man on fire, where a stuntman wildly runs across the stage back and forth while screaming with his clothes on fire before being extinguished backstage. A variation of this was performed in which the man was not on fire but acted as if he were.
- "What the Hell is it?" - In the style of "Is this Anything" and "Will it Float," this game had Letterman guess the name of a mystery object. The game was played only a handful of times. A running gag was that when Alan Kalter would announce the object's name to the audience, Letterman would unintentionally hear it clearly, thus leading to greater and greater amounts of soundproofing each time the game was played.
- "Immigration Success Stories" - a segment running since immigration reform was brought to Congress in 2006. The segment profiles various well-known immigrants, before switching to archival footage of actor and California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger shown doing suggestive things with females.
- Letterman interrupting the show for "live" footage of various celebrities and public figures driving and crashing (actually stock news footage of actual, spectacular crashes]]). Subjects have included Patrick Kennedy, Billy Joel, Nicole Richie, and NFL quarterback Ben Roethlisberger (on a motorcycle).
- "Week In Review"
- Late Show checklist
- “Who Asked for It?"
- "Who Said It?"
- "Telemundo Highlight of the Night"
- "Dumb Ads"
- How Many Men in a Bear Suit (etc.) Will Fit in a Donut Shop (etc.)?
- Pat Farmer's "Gaffe-Busters"
- "Celebrity X-Ray Challenge"
- "Late Show Pay Phone Trifecta"
- "Dave's Record Collection"
- "George W. Bush Joke That's Not Really a Joke"
- "Dr. Phil's Words of Wisdom"
- Paul Shaffer's James Brown cape routine (with various celebrities, including James Brown himself on one occasion, caping Shaffer)
- Dick Assman, who made several appearances in 1995
- "Late Show Unfair Edit", later "Late Show Fun with Editing", later "Late Show Editing Fun"
- "Guess the Puddle"
- Recent Osama bin Laden Tapes
- Biff Henderson's "Fun with a Bullhorn"
- Biff Henderson's "Fun with a Stopwatch"
- Biff Henderson's "Wanna Hang Out?"
