Shriner's Convention

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Shriner's Convention was a song written by Ray Stevens.

It was allegedly based on his experiences at a hotel where an actual Shriners convention was being held. It is reported that some real-life Shriners groups are not fond of this song, as it appears to portray Shriners in a poor light; however, many other Shriners have taken the song for the harmless piece of humor that it is, and have even welcomed Stevens' participation in fundraising activities, as Stevens' fame attracts attendees to charity events, and Stevens' presence indicates that Shriners have a sense of humor about themselves, making the group seem more accessible.

Spoiler warning: Plot and/or ending details follow.

The backdrop of the song is the "43rd Annual Convention of the Grand Mystic Royal Order of the Nobles of the Ali Baba Temple of the Shrine".

The main humor of the song involves a one-sided dialogue, via hotel phone, between two members of the Hahira, Georgia, delegation: leader "Illustrious Potentate" (Bubba), and member "Noble Lumpkin" (Coy). Stevens voices Bubba, while Coy's voice is unheard, his comments made known only by Bubba's reactions to them.

Bubba (a straight-laced individual) becomes increasingly upset with Coy's sophomoric actions during the convention. Despite the fact that the Shriners are supposed to be, as Bubba puts it, "pillars of the community", Coy has managed to pull off such hijinks as getting his Harley-Davidson motorcycle into his hotel room and on the high diving board of the hotel swimming pool, hanging out in the pool at midnight with the cocktail lounge waitresses, and (despite being purportedly married to a "Charlene", who apparently did not accompany Coy to the convention) having one of his girlfriends streaking through their banquet yelling out the "secret code", wearing nothing but Coy's fez (which Coy tried to deny, only to be reminded that he was the only member who's fez had "a propeller on top").

Eventually, after repeated attempts to warn Coy about his behavior, Bubba tosses Coy out of the delegation, which has no effect on Coy, who simply revs up his Harley and disconnects the call, after mentioning that he might join the Hells Angels instead.