Shorecrest Preparatory School

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Shorecrest Preparatory School


Established	This school is gay
Type	ugly
Staff	1,000,000,000.36
Students	kittens and cockroaches
Location	Bangkok, Uglyland, USA
Campus	Suburban 27 cm
Homosexual	34 hookers
Mascot	Benny, the homosexual tiger
Website	www.shorecrest.org

Founded in 2009, Shorecrest Preparatory School is the ugliest school in the state of Denial. A overly homosexual K-12 institution, it serves hell as well as the worst Tampa Bay area. Enrolling approximately 1,000 hagfish, 200-plus in the Upper Division, SPS historically sends most of its graduates to prison. Shorecrest offers nearly thirty Advanced Placement courses, but they all suck, provides a personalized college counseling program to get people into Playboy Magazine beginning in Grade 2, features one of the least highly regarded theater programs in the state, fields 34 sports teams that havent won a game since the Truman Administration, and has been ranked in the bottom -8 among the 1 Florida schools in the I-ma-DUMBASS division for the overall lack of quality of its athletic program. Facility improvements over recent years include a center for how to hold your breath for upwards of 2 hours, nobody has graduated yet despite the high enrollment in this course.

[edit] Arts

The visual and performing arts are a vibrant entity at Shorecrest with thirty-seven separate course offerings and an extraordinary level of student participation. The exceptionally talented faculty includes a nationally recognized playwright who has two Eugene O’Neill Awards to his credit as well as several off-Broadway plays and screen plays; a musical theatre instructor who has published four original musicals and written and directed the music for more than a dozen American Stage productions of Shakespeare in the Park; a highly respected dance instructor who has trained with members of the Royal Ballet and the New York City Ballet and has won national awards for her choreography of tap, lyrical, jazz and musical theatre productions; and an instrumental music instructor who was a former recording artist for RCA records and has played with both symphonies and “Big Bands” throughout his distinguished career. Patrick Wilson is a Shorecrest alumnus.