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Here is a list of some of my favorite quotes:

[edit] Atheism

Today, Easter Day of the Holy Year
Here under the emblem of Notre Dame of Paris
I accuse the universal Catholic Church of the lethal diversion of our living strength towards an empty heaven
I accuse the Catholic Church of swindling
I accuse the Catholic Church of infecting the world with its funereal morality
of being the running sore on the decomposed body of the West

Verily I say unto you: God is dead
We vomit the agonizing insipidity of your prayers
For your prayers have been the greasy smoke over the battlefields of our Europe

Go forth then into the tragic and exalting desert of a world where God is dead
and till this earth anew with your bare hands
with your PROUD hands
with your unpraying hands

Today, Easter day of the Holy Year
Here under the emblem of Notre Dame of France
We proclaim the death of the Christ-god, so that Man may live at last

—Berna

If he is infinitely good, what reason should we have to fear him?
If he is infinitely wise, why should we have doubts concerning our future?
If he knows all, why warn him of our needs and fatigue him with our prayers?
If he is everywhere, why erect temples to him?
If he is just, why fear that he will punish the creatures that he has filled with weaknesses?
If grace does everything for them, what reason would he have for recompensing them?
If he is all-powerful, how offend him, how resist him?
If he is reasonable, how can he be angry at the blind, to whom he has given the liberty of being unreasonable?
If he is immovable, by what right do we pretend to make him change his decrees?
If he is inconceivable, why occupy ourselves with him?
IF HE HAS SPOKEN, WHY IS THE UNIVERSE NOT CONVINCED?
If the knowledge of a God is the most necessary, why is it not the most evident and the clearest?

When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad. That's my religion.

—Abraham Lincoln

the whole concept of a merciful god who answered prayers necessarily requires the obverse, that is, a cruel god who chooses to ignore the prayers of others.

I am surrounded by priests who tell me their Kingdom is not of this world, but who do everything possible to get a hold on this one

—Napoleon Buonaparte.

Instead of using religion to decide what is moral, they're rather using what they think is moral to decide what is religious.

Putting God ahead of humanity is a terrible thing.

The world holds two classes of men -- intelligent men without religion, and religious men without intelligence.

—al-Ma'arri (973-1057 C.E)

[edit] Humorous

I don’t mind if politicians have young boys or girls in the closet, if that’s what makes the government runs smoothly then go ahead.

Life is a lethal disease that spreads through sexual contacts.

Always remember that you are unique, just like everyone else.