User:Scott Gall/Jokes

This is sure to be better than the stuff on BJAODN.

WARNING: Some of these jokes are mildly offensive and by reading them, you are doing so at your own risk.

Ian Paisley was swimming across a river infested with crocodiles. Before he got in, he put on a T-shirt with "I love the Pope" written on the back, and he swam to the other side. They asked him when he got out how he made it past all the crocodiles. He pointed to his T-shirt and said that the crocodiles would never swallow it.
Four nuns died and went to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Peter asked them if they had ever sinned. The first nun said she saw a man's penis and had to wash her eyes in the holy water. The second nun said she touched a man's penis and had to wash her hands in the water. The fourth nun pushed in front and said "I'm going to gargle the water before she sits in it!"
McDonalds are now selling Michael Jackson burgers: 40-year-old pieces of meat sandwiched between an 8-year-old bun.
The problem with caol ri caol is leathann ri leathann is that you go caol ri leathann when you put on weight, but leathann ri caol when you lose it again.
What's brown, runny, and hides in an attic? The diarrhoea of Anne Frank.