Scatty Safari

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The Goodies episode
"Scatty Safari"

Episode №	40
Airdate	17 March 1975 (Monday — 9.00 pm)
Director
Producer
Guest star(s)	Tony Blackburn as himself Sheila Steafel (voice) as "the Queen" David Willmott as ("Rolf Harris") Rusty Goffe (uncredited) as ("Little Rolf Harris")
Series V February 10 – December 21, 1975
The Movies Clown Virus Chubbie Chumps Wacky Wales Frankenfido Scatty Safari Kung Fu Kapers Lighthouse Keeping Loonies Rome Antics Fleet Street Goodies South Africa Bunfight at the O.K. Tea Rooms The End The Goodies Rule – O.K.?
List of The Goodies episodes

Scatty Safari is an episode of the British comedy television series The Goodies.

This episode is also known as "The Existence of Rolf Harris".

1 Plot
2 Quote
3 Spoofs and imitations
4 External link

[edit] Plot

Spoiler warning: Plot and/or ending details follow.

When they lose their main attraction, Tony Blackburn, the Goodies have to come up with another star attraction to replace him in "The Goodies *Star* Safari Park".

After considering and rejecting other big-time show names, they eventually decide on Rolf Harris. According to the "Observers Book of Stars", Rolf Harris is an all-round entertainer whose natural habitat is Australia.

The Goodies' arrival in Australia is marked by photos of the Sydney Opera House and the Sydney Harbour Bridge — also seen are a kangaroo, koalas and kookaburras. The Goodies go into the "Pom's Outfitters" shop and reappear with cork hats — Bill's hat still has the bottles attached to the corks.

Noticing headlines in a newspaper stating that Rolf Harris had been seen in the Outback, the Goodies go there in search of their quarry (to the strains of "Waltzing Matilda").

When they get Rolf Harris back to their safari park in England, he is unhappy. Graeme comments that there used to be thousands of Rolf Harrises all over Australia, but that there were probably only a half dozen left now – "it was the beards they were after". However, there was another Rolf Harris in captivity, in the Moscow Zoo, which Graeme had arranged to have delivered to the safari park in the hope that they would breed — and, a year later, in the "Rolfus Harriscus" enclosure, a baby Rolf Harris can be seen. All goes well until the Rolf Harrises escape from the safari park. The Goodies are upset at losing their latest star attractions, and are also very worried — Rolf Harrises used to be all over Australia, and they were prolific breeders.

Another year has passed, and England is overrun by millions of Rolf Harrises who proceed to make life uncomfortable for other people by their actions — including frightening small babies in their prams, taking over television broadcasts and completely dominating some sports teams. The Rolf Harrises also constantly splash paint everywhere (even onto people) and sing "Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport", accompanied by wobbleboards.

An anonymous Queen makes a proclaimation — whosoever could rid England of the Rolf Harrises could marry her eldest son (Prince Charles), or receive a thousand OBEs. The Goodies dress like the Pied Piper of Hamelin, and play didgeridoos. It works and soon all but one of the Rolf Harrises follow the Goodies to the other side, ITV, where they are shut in, forever, never to be seen again — the Rolf Harris who is left behind being the lame Jake the Peg, who has three legs.