Rotten School
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Rotten School is a series of 10 books and 1 Unabridged Audio CD by R. L. Stine for ages from 8 to 12. It's about a place where Chef Baloney serves chicken with the feathers still on, where an armpit is a musical instrument, where the winning prize for art goes to the student with the best tattoo. But on this campus of losers, there's one winner who really stands out: Bernie Bridges. The king of schemers, Bernie can figure out a creative solution to any problem.
[edit] Contents
[edit] THE BIG BLUEBERRY BARF-OFF! Rotten School #1
- June 2005 - Hardcover - HarperCollins
Meet Bernie Bridges. He rules Rotten School, a boarding school where the kids get to live in a dorm with their friends. No parents allowed. And that's just the beginning of the good stuff. Bernie talks dorm mother and core teacher Mrs. Heinie into giving extra credit for putting his name on the top of a test. And he convinces Headmaster Upchuck to make GameBoy an official school supply. But is he clever enough to find a way to get Sherman Oaks's new watch? Sherman Oaks is everything that Bernie hates: rich, snotty and a resident of the rival dorm, Nyce House. But his watch is everything that Bernie loves: a DVD player, an MP3 player, a computer and 39 other functions. Bernie can't sleep at night because he's always thinking about that watch. At last he comes up with a brilliant idea: a pie-eating contest. If Bernie's dorm wins, then he gets Sherman's watch. If Sherman's dorm wins, then Bernie becomes Sherman's slave for a month. The stakes are high, but Bernie has the perfect pie eater, he can't lose. Unless Sherman is much more clever than Bernie thinks he is.
[edit] THE GREAT SMELLING BEE: Rotten School #2
- June 2005 - Hardcover - HarperCollins
Bernie's pets miss him so much that his parents pack them up in a box and send them to Rotten School. The only problem is that pets aren't allowed at school. Bernie will have to keep them undercover, which is easier said than done. His beloved pets aren't exactly undercover types. Lippy, the parrot, likes to wake the dorm with charming lines like "Eat birdseed and die." Gassy, the dog...well, let's just say, she's named Gassy for a reason. When she farts --- which is about every five minutes --- it's not just smelly, it's a knock-you-off-your-feet-and-trample-you stink. Mrs. Heinie, the dorm mother, has figured out there are pets in Bernie's room and threatens to search it from top to bottom. If she finds feather or fur, it'll be the end for Bernie's pets --- and Bernie will be packing his bags, too. Can even Bernie, king of schemers, find a way to keep himself and his pets squawking and stinking in Rotten House?
[edit] THE BIG BLUEBERRY BARF-OFF! & THE GREAT SMELLING BEE CD UNABRIDGED: Rotten School
- June 2005 - Unabridged Audio CD
Now you can listen to the uproarious adventures of the Rotten School students: Bernie Bridges, Sherman Oaks, Chipmunk, Jennifer Ecch and all the gang. And you won’t believe Mrs. Heinie, or Coach Bunz, or Headmaster I. Will Upchuck, and the rest of the students and faculty. No school is like the Rotten School, where anything can happen and everything does. Listen to Bernie and his pals outwit Sherman Oaks and his followers. You won’t be able to stop laughing.
[edit] THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE VERY SLIMY: Rotten School #3
- September 2005 - Hardcover - HarperCollins
Hooray for Bernie! April-May June, the hottest, coolest girl in Rotten School, has finally realized she's his girlfriend. Well, sort of. She has agreed to go to the dance party with him next Saturday --- if he can stay out of trouble for a whole week and if he's a straight-arrow, straight-A student. No sweat. Bernie gets in trouble because he wants to, not because he has to. Right?
Right. Of course, there's the slug race that Bernie has already organized --- whew, that's not until next week. And there's Mrs. Heinie, who is already suspicious of the new, perfect Bernie. But she can't prove anything. If Bernie can come up with a few good deeds and spend a couple of quality hours with his books - where was that library again? - then April-May will be walking into the school dance on his arm.
What happens though when his arch enemy and rival Sherman Oaks steps in and changes the date of the slug race? Will Bernie have to choose between his girlfriend and his slug?
[edit] LOSE, TEAM, LOSE: Rotten School #4
- December 2005 - Hardcover - HarperCollins
With Bernie as quarterback, the Rotten School team can't lose. Except that they do --- every single game in fact. But why should Bernie care? His teammates carry him off the field anyway. The one thing that bothers him is that April-May June is cheering for Sherman Oaks's soccer games. Bernie has to win a few to get her to the football sidelines.
Enter his secret weapon: Jennifer Ecch. Nightmare Girl. So big and strong, she lifts weights in her sleep. And so in love with Bernie, she calls him honey bucket and chases him across campus. She'd do anything for him --- even play football. And with her on the team, they REALLY can't lose. They begin mopping up the league as Jennifer plows right through the opponents' defense and strolls to the finish line.
But wait. Does Bernie really want to win? Not only will he have to wear the sweaters Jennifer made for him --- really embarrassing sweaters, emblazoned with Bernie Loves Jen --- but if Rotten School makes it to the championships, they'll have to play the Bone-Breakers. The name says it all. Maybe it's about time for Bernie and his team to start losing.
[edit] SHAKE, RATTLE, & HURL! Rotten School #5
- February 2006 - Hardcover - HarperCollins
The Plopps, Bernie's very favorite band, is coming to town, and the winner of Rotten School's Talent House gets two tickets to see them and go backstage! Bernie is determined that someone from Rotten House will win. Although Wes Upgood of Nyce House plays a killer saxophone, Bernie just knows there's someone in Rotten House who is more talented and a bigger star than that. How about his dog Gassy, who counts by farting? Or his henchmen Feenman and Crench, who start a band by riffing on toilet paper rolls? Or maybe Nightmare Girl, who has a surprising twist to her ventriloquist act?
None of these talents is exactly what Bernie is looking for. Then one afternoon, he hears an unbelievable sound from the depths of Rotten House --- a rocking, wailing, soaring guitar. Can Bernie find the creator of that magic music? And if he does, can he persuade him to enter the talent contest?
[edit] THE HEINIE PRIZE: Rotten School #6
- April 2006 - Hardcover - HarperCollins
Belzer is Bernie's best friend --- and favorite slave. He brings Bernie pancakes in bed, does all his homework, and walks his dog. Plus, he's the top salesman for all of Bernie's moneymaking schemes: raffle tickets where Bernie keeps the prize money, $2 candy bars, t-shirts made out of rope. So when Belzer receives a letter from his parents telling him that he's such an underachiever they're taking him out of school, it's nothing short of a disaster. Bernie needs to find a way to prove that Belzer is the biggest achiever of all.
Every year, Mrs. Heinie awards the Heinie Prize to the most outstanding fourth grader. If Belzer can win that, then his parents would have to let him stay at Rotten School. Belzer? Outstanding? This is a kid who wears "I'm a loser" t-shirts and who gets his hand stuck in the candy machine. But if anyone can transform Belzer from loser into Heinie Prize winner overnight, it's Bernie!
[edit] DUDES, THE SCHOOL IS HAUNTED! Rotten School #7
- June 2006 - Hardcover - HarperCollins
Joe Sweety is the worst kind of bully -- big, mean, and always ready to use his fists. Chipmunk is the shiest, clumsiest kid at Rotten School. When Chipmunk is paired with Joe on the class trip, things get ugly -- and fast! Chipmunk spills his apple juice on Joe, he barfs on Joe, and he pulls down Joe's pants. All accidents, of course. But does Joe care? No way! He is out to get Chipmunk!
Bernie Bridges can't stand to see Chipmunk, one of his Rotten House guys, bullied by big, mean Sweety. So it's payback time -- and Bernie has a spook-tacular plan. It turns out that Sweety is scared of ghosts. Petrified! Bernie decides it's time for the Haunting of Joe -- with spooky messages on the computer, green protoplasm in his room, and a body-wrap in an eerie cocoon. Will Bernie's payback work? Will it scare Joe into niceness?
[edit] THE TEACHER FROM HECK: Rotten School #8
- August 2006 - Hardcover - HarperCollins
The great Water War rages at Rotten School. Billy the Brain turns everything he can find into a squirt gun --- his laptop, a head of lettuce, Bernie's dog Gassy. Sherman Oaks retaliates with ever bigger and more expensive squirt weapons. So Bernie has to fight back: he rigs up a set of water balloons to drop on the next unsuspecting guest to visit his room and invites Sherman over to sign a truce. He's sure that Sherman will be running back to Nyce House, dripping and crying. Except that the next guest isn't Sherman, it's Mrs. Heinie. And she doesn't just drip and cry...she quits!
Losing Mrs. Heinie isn't the worst of it though. Her replacement, Mr. Skruloose, thinks of himself as a general and his students as soldiers. He makes Bernie drop and give him 10 pushups just for being almost late. He assigns four hours of homework and three hours of morning drill, and puts Bernie and his friends on a diet of raw tree bark. At the end, Bernie tells the principle how mean Mr.Skuloose is. The principle is glad. Bernie suddenly has an idea. He tells him thanks because he needs a mean teacher. The principle is suprised and makes Mrs.Heinie move back.
[edit] PARTY POOPERS: Rotten School #9
- November 2006 - Hardcover - HarperCollins
Bernie has it all figured out. April-May June will ask him to the annual girl-invite-boy school dance. They’ll dance the night away, and April-May June will totally fall for him. There’s only one problem: Reality. April-May June doesn’t know she is destined to go with him and Jennifer Ecch swoops in and asks Bernie first. Yuck! How can Bernie shake the unshakable Ecch?
Bernie has a plan. He’ll convince Jennifer that that he is lower than toe fungus and not worthy enough to go to the dance with her. But love is blind. No matter what ridiculous thing he does, Jennifer remains devoted to him.
Bernie has no choice. The time has come to hold a long-distance snot-blowing contest right in front of Jennifer. That should be gross enough to get Jennifer out of his life—shouldn’t it?
[edit] THE ROTTENEST ANGEL: Rotten School #10
- On sale: 12/26/2006 - Hardcover - HarperCollins
Angel Goodeboy is a perfect angel . . .
You can almost picture a halo over his head! He even wears a T-shirt that says "Mommy's Little Angel."
Bernie Bridges is horrified when Mrs. Heinie makes him share his room with Angel. She wants Angel's goodness to rub off on Bernie. But wait a minute—when no teachers are watching, Angel is no angel!
The little sneak takes over Bernie's room. He steals away Bernie's friends. He charms Bernie's girlfriend. Everyone loves Angel—even Bernie's pets! There's only one way for Bernie to rule the school again. After a series of events, Ms.Heinie decides to move Angel away from Bernie's room.
