Professor Monkey-For-A-Head

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Professor Monkey-For-A-Head is a fictional villain created in the Earthworm Jim video games and animated series. He is the scientist who invented the ultra-high-tech-indestructible-super-space-cyber-suit for Queen Slug-for-a-Butt, which Psy-Crow ended up losing.

As his name suggests, the Professor has a monkey grafted to his forehead. His simian skullmate, named Monkey Professor-For-A-Head, seems to have a mind of his own, as he often pesters the Professor with his jabbering, which the Professor can somehow understand (likely because they are grafted together at the head, and thus share a common brain just as they share a single set of eyes). According to the first game's instruction manual, it is because of the Monkey that Professor Monkey-For-A-Head cannot build another suit - Monkey Professor-For-A-Head ate the plans. In the animated series, however, the Professor is unable to make a new suit (at least, not at the same strength levels as the original) due to not having a spare "Battery of the Gods" to power it with. For some reason, the Gods turned him into a bread maker when he tried to get a new one; giving him the ability to produce a fresh loaf of bread from his coat at will.

The Professor and his primate companion live in a lavish space station laboratory, where they enjoy their many hobbies, including recreation, grooming, and gourmet cooking.

The Professor's other inventions include pay-toll toilets and atomic bananas.

It seems that grafting animals into one's head runs in the Professor's family, as in Earthworm Jim 3D, Jim met the Professor's late great aunt, Baroness Beaver-for-a-Head, who lost her beaver head, and Jim must bring it back to get a Golden Udder. Also, in the comic book mini-series, when the Professor attempts to take control of the suit, it runs amuck and annoys him in various ways, including "marrying [his] gram-gram." His grandmother, seen in the background of that particular panel, also appears to have a monkey grafted to her head.

As with most of the other villains in the game, Professor Monkey-For-A-Head was a regular antagonist on the animated series, where he occasionally teamed up with Psy-Crow. His voice was provided by Charlie Adler.

[edit] Quotations

• "It's not all champagne, you know. Sometimes there's real pain."
• "I told him not to shoot my right profile! He made me look like some kind of freak!"
• (after Monkey turns the TV to Earthworm Jim) "Turn that off! You know I hate that program!"
• Professor: "I remember it as if it were yesterday... yesterday... yesterday."
  Psycrow: "It was yesterday!"
  Professor: "QUIET! I am setting up a flashback!"
• Professor: "You are responsible for that worm, you know. You were supposed to take the suit to the Queen. But no, you had to go and lose it!"
  Psycrow: "Hey, you're the one who built the suit in the first place!"
  Professor: "Yellow belly!"
  Psycrow: "Know-it-all!"
  Professor: "Bubble head!"
  Psycrow: "Monkey fancier!"
  Professor: (pulls out a massive gun and points it at Psycrow) "YOU LEAVE MY MONKEY OUT OF THIS!"
• "You now have only the strength of an ordinary person. (Jim tackles him) Correction - an ordinary, really big person."
• "Before I took Psycrow's course, I was a simple dairy farmer. Now dig me! I've got a monkey grafted to my head! (Monkey jabbers) No, I was NOT making eyes at that gorilla! I'm a happily grafted man."
• "When I snap my fingers, you will be a chicken! (snaps fingers; the chicken starts running around squawking) It's the ultimate weapon! And great fun at parties. (Monkey jabbers) Perhaps you're right. Maybe we should test it on a subject who's not already a chicken..."
• "Now I'll freeze you as solid as... uh... a solid freezy, frozen thing. (Monkey jabbers) Oh right. Thank you. A block of ice!"
• Psycrow: "Couldn't you build anudder suit?"
  Prof. Monkey-for-a-head: "Well, I could. But the suit's power comes from the Battery of the Gods, and I only had one. I tried to get another, and the gods turned me into a bread maker."
  Psycrow: "Pffft...! You're not a bread maker."
  Prof. Monkey-for-a-head: "Oh yeah? Check this out." (starts grunting and wincing until a loaf of bread pops out of his coat) "Actually, it's kind of handy. If I twist the monkey's tail, I can make pumpernickel."
  Psycrow: (stares at him)
• (Monkey jabbers)"I couldn't put the cockpit higher! You know I get nosebleeds over ten feet!"
• "I have you-Stop!- now Earthwor-Cut it out!- Jim!"

Earthworm Jim
Games:	Earthworm Jim | Earthworm Jim 2 | Earthworm Jim 3D | Earthworm Jim: Menace 2 the Galaxy | ClayFighter 63 1/3 | Earthworm Jim PSP
TV series:	Earthworm Jim (TV series)
Heroes:	Earthworm Jim | Snott | Peter Puppy | Princess What's-Her-Name
Villains:	Psy-Crow | Queen Slug-for-a-Butt | Evil the Cat | Professor Monkey-For-A-Head | Bob the Killer Goldfish | Evil Jim
Other topics:	List of Earthworm Jim characters | List of Earthworm Jim locations | List of Earthworm Jim items