Professor Branestawm

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Professor Theophilus Branestawm is a character in a series of books by Norman Hunter.

Professor Branestawm is the archetypal absent-minded professor. He is always at work in his "Inventory" creating bizarre inventions, all of which either malfunction or work in unanticipated ways, and which lead him into incredible adventures, often accompanied by his friend Colonel Dedshott of the Catapult Cavaliers, and his housekeeper Mrs Flittersnoop. He lives in Great Pagwell, which is apparently surrounded by other Pagwells (Little Pagwell, Pagwell Heights, Pagwell Gardens etc). In "The Professor Borrows a Book", he manages to lose fourteen different copies of the same book from fourteen different public libraries, and has to cycle frantically between fourteen different Pagwells to renew his books to avoid being fined.

The Professor is described in the first book as having, like all great men, simple tastes: "His coat was simply fastened with safety pins because the buttons had simply fallen off. His head was simply bald and it simply shone like anything when the sun caught it." He has five pairs of spectacles - one for reading, one for writing, one for out of doors, one for looking at you over the top of and a fifth pair for looking for the others on the frequent occasions when they get lost. Other pairs of spectacles are often mentioned.

Many of the Professor's perils result from simple absent-mindedness. In "The Screaming Clocks", he invents a clock that doesn't need winding up, but the omission of an important component ("I forgot to put a little wiggly thing in") means the clock doesn't stop at twelve but continues striking thirteen, fourteen and so forth until it can't keep up with itself. In "Burglars!", the Professor invents an automatic burglar catcher, but forgets his house key, tries to get in the window and is grabbed and trussed up by his own machine so thoroughly that even Mrs Flittersnoop fails to recognise him, and bashes him over the head for good measure.

Mrs Flittersnoop, in fact, causes trouble a few times through her lack of understanding for the Professor's genius. In "The Wild Waste Paper", she throws what seems to be a bottle of cough medicine into the waste bin. The liquid turns out to be the Professor's elixir of life, which was in the bottle because cough medicine is the only thing that can stop the stuff dead without actually destroying it. Since the bottle was uncorked to allow air in (nothing can live without air), the waste paper in the bin comes to life. Even when stuck up a pear tree surrounded by giant, predatory bits of waste paper, the Professor retains his scientific detachment, wondering if a carpenter's bill would know a saw if it saw one, and if so, whether the gas bill might explode at any moment.

Many of the troubles that the professor causes are due to his inventions rebelling, showing anthropomorphic peronalities. For instance, the phrase "No Branestawm invention was going to stand for that" occurs several times in the series. Branestawm inventions object it seems to anyone using them in ways that they were not designed for. For instance, in a story about PB making cukoo clocks for all his friends, a fight broke out between the clocks, resulting in the destruction of all of them.

The first book featuring Professor Branestawm was The Incredible Adventures of Professor Branestawm, first published in 1933. The sequel was Professor Branestawm's Treasure Hunt, published 1937. The books were illustrated by W. Heath Robinson.

Others followed many decades later: