Pointy-Haired Boss
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The Pointy-Haired Boss (often abbreviated to just PHB) is Dilbert's boss in the Dilbert comic strip. He is notable for his gross incompetence and unawareness of his surroundings, yet somehow retains power in the workplace. In the Dilbert TV series, in which he was voiced by comedian Larry Miller, the character was notably smarter (although still quite stupid) and more actively evil.
The phrase "pointy-haired boss" has acquired a generic usage to refer to incompetent managers. It is also possible to speak of someone being pointy-haired or having pointy hair metaphorically, meaning that they possess PHB-like traits. A company which has too many PHBs getting promoted to higher-levels is often called a PHC, or pointy-haired company. The academic version, a Pointy-Haired Dean (PHD), is similar.
In certain discussions, particularly on the Internet, the term Horn Hair is used to refer to a PHB.
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[edit] In Dilbert
He's every employee's worst nightmare. He wasn't born mean and unscrupulous, he worked hard at it. And succeeded. As for stupidity, well, some things are inborn. His top priorities are the bottom line and looking good in front of his subordinates and superiors (not necessarily in that order). Of absolutely no concern to him is the professional or personal well-being of his employees. The Boss is technologically challenged but he stays current on all the latest business trends, even though he rarely understands them.
The PHB's real name is never mentioned in the comic, although in one episode of the TV series (The Return) he signs for a package using his line dancing pseudonym "Eunice." Later on in that episode, he has two other aliases, which are posted on the "Most Wanted" board in the post office (however, he thinks that is because they like him). Creator Scott Adams has said that this is because it is easier to imagine the PHB as one's own boss when he is not given a name.
The Pointy-Haired Boss is mostly bald, except for a fringe of hair across the back of the head, and sideburns that rise up in points (hence, the name). Scott Adams has admitted that the Boss's odd hair was inspired by devil horns. He used to have jowls at first because Scott wanted the character to look gruff, but the boss ended up looking dumb instead.
In early strips, when he was simply "balding", the Boss was very cruel and uncaring (shocking people with electric belts or wanting them to work 178 hours a week, although there are only 168 hours in a week — he expected the employees' families to contribute a few hours). He showed few obvious signs of cluelessness. However, when the hair reached its current state of outright pointiness, he became a complete imbecile. The Boss is frequently childish, immature, ignorant, and rude, yet also annoyingly cheerful and oblivious to his own actions. In some strips, however, he displays an above-average intelligence.
The boss made his most significant change in appearance during one month in the fall of 1991. The last confirmed sighting of the jowly boss was in the strip dated September 20, 1991. His backside may have been seen in the September 26, 1991 strip, however. He went unseen for several weeks during a protracted series about Elbonia. He reappeared on October 21, 1991 without the jowls and with the pointed hair.
The Boss's family sometimes makes an appearance in the strips, and are frequently presented as being as incompetent as him. In 1998, the Boss's son, who hid in the attic for four years instead of attending college, was hired for the company and made VP of marketing due to his complete lack of knowledge. Years later, the Boss's wife was hired as a receptionist for the company. Both the Boss's wife and son share his trademark hairstyle, as do many managers in the comic strips. Dilbert was also once asked to interview the PHB's nephew for a position. He listed his work experience as "bowling" (because, although he'd only bowled once, the balls were heavy and it felt like work), and contrary to Dilbert's suggestion (to have him whacked), the PHB made him Dilbert's new boss. The Pointy-Haired Boss finds pointy hair as a positive and attractive feature, and often judges people based on the pointyness of their hair, such as when he promoted an employee named Ted because of a pointy "beard" that was growing on his forehead, or when he became attracted to Alice because she styled her hair like his. The PHB also has a brother named Phil, the ruler of "Heck" (a subsidiary of Hell).
Within Dilbert's company, the PHB represents middle management. The corporate CEOs and vice presidents of the firm are constantly changing and are usually minor characters without developed personalities. The strip is seldom particularly shy about killing members of upper management.
There is an unspoken but subtle running joke in the Dilbert chronicle. While the boss is "clueless", it is the boss who has a social life and family, while the "smart" ones who work for him have no social skills to speak of, and appear destined never to reproduce.
[edit] Mauve has the most RAM
One of the best-known instances of PHB-thought and lack of technological understanding in Dilbert is the 'Mauve has the most RAM' punchline. "I want to build a relational database." "Ok. What color do you want?" "I think Mauve has the most RAM". The joke has an obvious refererence to Douglas Adams, but it may also be interpreted as one of the most subtle pieces of geek-humour Adams has used. In the context of the SGI Indigo2 workstation, mauve (or at least purple) does indeed 'have the most RAM'.
[edit] Traits
Typical traits of a PHB:
- Does not understand what his employees do for a living.
- Enjoys using buzzwords such as synergy, going forward, leadership, centrex, bandwidth, accountability, blindsided, evangelize, leverage, unified messaging, competency, collaboration, empowerment, quality, paradigm, team-enhancing, outside the box, radar screen, memorialize, and culture-shift often to escape having to commit or be precise.
- Pretends to understand technology, but is really clueless; from the strip: "Let's make all our wall outlets digital" or "I told you we need multimedia fax machines!". He often shifts towards buzzwords (see above) to compensate or change subject.
- Makes excessive use of spurious statistics to distract the listener from his lack of understanding of what they mean.
- Easily mesmerized by silver-tongued sales people peddling management or technology fads.
- Decisions seem random or capricious.
- Gross failures of logic, such as holding repeated long meetings to discuss why a project is behind schedule.
- Gross failures of accountability: when questioned on sources of his "facts", credits unnamed "consultants" or "studies"
- Likes meetings because he does not know how to use email properly or does not want his bad decisions committed to writing. Occasionally will have several instances of Microsoft Outlook running at the same time and doesn't understand why.
- Uses his employees' ideas and presents them as his own, almost always to the same employees.
- Amazingly, can be awarded Manager of the Year recognition, while being bossy, bullying, spiteful and a thief. (Or, given the nature of modern corporate culture, because he's bossy, bullying, spiteful and a thief.)
- Appoints unqualified sycophants over competent specialists unconcerned about their torment.
- Openly tells people outside his current target market that they are worthless to him.
- Thinks he/she is always right.
- You warn him / her to do X or else Y will happen. He doesn't do X. Y happens. You somehow get the blame.
- Doesn't seem to remember anything beyond a month's range.
- Rewards employees based on how well they stroke his/her ego instead of how well they do their job.
- More focused on sounding important than being important.
- Doesn't understand metaphors and thinks they are literal.
[edit] Related acronyms
The usage of PHB to refer to a character type resembles the usage of BOFH and PFY, both also derived from specific fictional characters. Less closely related is the military term REMF, which is descriptive rather than a reference to fiction.
[edit] External links
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| Characters: | Alice • Asok • Carol • Catbert • Dilbert • Dogbert • Phil, the Prince of Insufficient Light • Pointy-Haired Boss • Ratbert • Wally • Minor characters |
| In other media: | Animated series • Books • Plop: The Hairless Elbonian |
| Terms: | Cow-orker • Imaginary productivity |
| Other: | Scott Adams • Dogbert's New Ruling Class • Elbonia • Dilberito |
