User:Philwelch

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[edit] Who the Hell is Phil Welch?

Yes, that IS a calculus joke on my screen!
Yes, that IS a calculus joke on my screen!

I'm an experienced editor with an allegedly spiffy userpage.

Timeline:

[edit] Gratuitous Pirate Jokes

(contributed by me)

  • Q. What happened when the sea pirates came to Wikipedia?

(contributed by Deckiller)

  • Q. Why do pirates come to Wikipedia?
    • A. To edit arrrrrrrticles.
  • Q. Where do all wannabe pirates edit Wikipedia from?
  • Q. Why are Pirate Wikipedians so cool?
    • A. They just arrrrrreeee.
  • Q. What project must all pirates join?
  • Q. What did the pirate say to the rude Wikipedian?
  • Q. Why did the pirate Wikipedians take WikiBreaks in 2004?
  • Q. Why did the Pirates get burned at the stake in Boston?
    • A. Simple. They said PARRRRRK the CARRRR in HARRRRRVARRRRRD YARRRRD instead of Pahk da Kah in Haavahd Yahd.

(contributed by Lkjhgfdsa)

Therrrrrre once was a pirate leaderrr
Who hooked up an RrrrrSS feederrr
To edit the Wiki.
This became a sticky
Situation when it made a complete farce of the standard limerick meterrrrrrrrr.

[edit] Philwelch's Observations:

[edit] First Observation

All other factors held equal, the greater the notability and encyclopedic merit of a given subject on Wikipedia, the higher the quality of the related article.

[edit] Second Observation

How many WIkipedians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Truth is, no one knows. What we do know is that we needed 1 to tag the socket with a "this socket needs a light bulb" template, 1 to write a bot to replace all the "this socket needs a light bulb" templates with dated ones which automatically included themselves into categories, countless dozens to complain about the light bulb backlog, and hundreds to bitch at each other about totally irrelevant issues. In the meantime, about a dozen aspiring electricians every month go through something akin to a Congressional confirmation hearing, bored teenagers yell at each other in abandoned rooms about whether to use 60 or 75 watt bulbs, and equally bored teenagers bicker over demolishing unwanted rooms elsewhere in the building.

[edit] CambridgeBayWeather's corollary

However, should a Wikipedian be able to insert a light bulb it will be instantly deleted due to its inability to meet the guidelines set out at Wikipedia:Notability.

[edit] About this page

I welcome others to edit this page; here's a few guidelines.

  • If you want to, do something cool with the formatting above and beyond what I've done, feel free. My current formatting is highly derivative of that of User:Mindspillage, which in turn is highly derivative of that of User:Talrias. If you want to help me code monkey a more distinctive look, feel free!
  • If you want to add content (for instance: your personal opinion of me, positive OR negative), do so in a civil fashion and I won't remove it. I reserve the right to edit your comments so long as such editing does not misrepresent your original statement. Testimonials in limerick form are preferred.

[edit] Awards

Here's a barnstar for being good to the Star Wars articles. --Coffee 05:04, 5 September 2005 (UTC)

For work on VfDs, Take care, Molotov (talk) 22:32, 15 September 2005 (UTC)

|➨ ❝RE -DVERS❞ awards this Barnstar to Philwelch for being bold and making an RfC into what its name suggests - a Request for Comment. Thanks.

For all your outstanding work in the Wiki neighborhood. Deckiller 03:39, 18 January 2006 (UTC)

I hereby award you the Good Vibrations award for your outstanding efforts at sending faithful and civil vibrations across the Wiki. Nicely done, and I hope you return in full swing very soon! — Deckiller 03:09, 18 July 2006 (UTC)

I stumbled upon your page, and seeing that picture of a human being just made me smile; surely, in civility, the great equalizer must be a human face! My civility just increased 36%, and I credit it all to you. Have a barnstar. (And yeah, it's a pretty cute picture; how you doin'?) --Emufarmers(T/C) 08:03, 5 August 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Multi-Licensing

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[edit] ...and everybody 王充 tonight.

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