Pakistani wedding
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A Pakistani wedding typically consist of four ceremonies on four separate days.
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[edit] Mehndi/ Rasm e Henna
Mehndi, or the Rasm e henna ceremony, typically takes place one or two days prior to the main wedding day. The event is traditionally held separately for the bride and the groom, and henna is symbolically placed on the couple's hands. The groom's friends and family brings along them sweets and henna for the groom, and the bride's family does the same for the groom. On the bride's ceremony the groom normally does not participate and similarly, on the groom's event the bride stays at home.
Nonetheless, the ceremony may also be held simultaneously for both the groom and the bride.
The bride normally wears a yellow dress for mehndi and uses only light, or no, make up. The groom will typically wear a causal shalwar kameez and it is customary for him to have been unshaven for a couple of days. The bride or the groom are brought forward in the ceremony under a decorative dupatta by their close relatives.
Singing traditional wedding songs is an important part of the mehndi ceremony. Mehndi is also one of the few events in the otherwise conservative Pakistani society where dancing may take place. Men and women, however, seldom dance together and to offer the women greater freedom often only limited numbers of mens are invited to mehndis. They may have to sit in a separate room or be asked to leave the main hall when girls are about to dance. The practice will vary between families depending upon their religious background.
The food offered to guests is generally simple and consists of fewer dishes then on the other wedding days.
[edit] Shaadi
The main day of the wedding is called Shaadi which is the Bride's reception. The event therefore takes place at the bride's house, where large wedding tents may be set up in the garden or a nearby place. It has also become very common to hold the event in a marriage hall or hotel. In any case the bride's family is responsible for the reception and arrangements on this day.
The barat or grooms procession indicates the arrival of the groom's family and friends to the bride's house. The barat is often accompanied by the rhythms of a dholak as it arrives and is greeted with flowers garland and rose petals by the brides family. It is customary for the bride's sisters and friends to stop the barat from entering the arena until a sufficient amount of cash is given to them. This can lead to discussions, usually harmless and just for fun, between the bride's sisters and friends on one side and the groom's brothers and friends on the other side.
The bride traditionally wears a red gharara or shalwar kameez which is heavily embroidered; other bright colors may also be seen. The dress is always accompanied with heavy gold jewellery. The groom may wear a traditional dress such as sherwani with a sehra or turban though some may prefer to wear a western inspired suit.
A dinner is served which consists of several dishes alongside pullao, tandoori chicken and naans.
It is also customary for the bride's family to offer gifts to the groom and his family members which is known as Salami.
Finally, the Rukhsati takes place, when the groom and his family will leave together with the bride. The Qur'an is normally held over the brides held as she walks from the stage to the exit in order to bless her.This is a somber occasion for the Brides parents as its marks the departure of their daughter from their home. The departure of the bride becomes a very emotional scene as she says farewell to the home of her parents and siblings to start a new married life.
Traditionally, the groom traveled by a decorated horse to the bride's house and after the wedding ceremony took his wife in a doli (palanquin) to his parents' house to live. The horse and the carts have nowadays been replaced by cars, and one will, in sharp contrast to western weddings, typically see a quiet bride with wet eyes as she sits in the car beside her husband leaving for her new home.
[edit] Nikah/ Islamic ceremony
The nikah is the Islamic ceremony. It either takes place at the Shaadi itself or on a separate day at the bride's house. It is performed by an imam which formally indicates signing of the marriage contract. The bride and groom must both have three witnesses present to ensure that the marriage is consensual.
[edit] Walima
This is the final day of the wedding held by the groom's family at their place, or at a marriage hall. The walima mainly consist of a feast dinner.
The bride wears a heavily decorated dress with gold jewellery provided by the the groom's family.
