Oakville Yacht Squadron
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
The Oakville Yacht Squadron (OYS) is a is a private yacht club based in Oakville, ON. It is one of the world's most distinguished and influential yachting institutions, and many members, both past and present have contributed to the sport of yachting and yacht design.
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[edit] History
Founded in 1946, the Oakville Yacht Squadron is located on the shores of the Sixteen Mile Creek. It was noted for it's proximity to the former Sharkey's, The Oakville Club, TCBY, TOWARF, and "The Lakeshore Rd. Bridge and Diving Platform".
It has long been rumoured that OYS, once a thriving and competitive club suffered greatly from absorbing the suffering and hapless Club without a Club, the Oakville Harbour Yacht Club. Former members of the OHYC have caused droves of young members to leave the club to escape their cantankerous ways, halitosis, and embarrassingly poor seamanship. It is possible that as these members now retire and/or enter nursing homes, they will frequent OYS much less and the youth will once again return.
The Oakville Yacht Squadron has historically been renowned for its thriving junior program, producing accomplished sailors such as Olympian Peter Kneulman. Other less notable, but not less important names known for their salty demeanor and excellent seamanship include:
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[edit] Recent History
Recently, racing has been a focal point at the hands of Bill & Barney Crompton, a father-son team who launched a much talked about campaign in the "Shark" class of sailboat. On their very able vessel "Gladiator" they can be found placing lower mid-fleet in Lake Ontario Shark Derbys. Barney Crompton, or Captain Barn as referred by his peers is rumoured to be joining the Oakville Yacht Squadron. His presence will no doubt increase the level of mediocrity tenfold.
Today the tiller of the club is in the hands of Commodore Dave "Lunatic" Gray, a land-lubber but all around good guy. Feared by many, Dave has authored much of OYS's success in his multiple terms as "The Big 'C'" as he is known to the ladies.
OYS hosted the Lake Ontario 300 in 2006. Touted as the Greatest Yacht Race on the Lake, the LO300 had a field of over 110 boats.
Unfortunatly for few and thankful for many (including the Coast Guard, T.O.W.O.R.F., EPHIRP systems and other rescue services in the lake) OYS skippers and crew have neither the courage or seamanship for an endeavor such as this double handed adventure. It is however noted one famous/infamous member once set out to the challenge single handed in a "CL 14" but was hit by Gods fury at the South Western end of the lake and was forced to abandon ship. Not wanting to give-up, this member was said to try to swim the remaining 256.94 miles with the mainsail of his vessel grasped in his teeth using a sextant jury rigged from disguarded profilactic wrapers, popsicle sticks and 3D glasses to navigate an offshore race that is humorous to anyone who has ever submerged their feet in salt water. Unable to cope with the harsh light winds and warm water temp. found in that part in late July, he succummed to the elements and was plucked from the water half alive by one Susan Hood who was cruising 200 miles off shore in a J/24 so as to legally sell her body in international waters to mostly Rochester sailors.
[edit] Discrimination
Many outsiders to the OYS wish to be of such famous sailing lineage. Some of the non-members include Royal Canadian Yacht Club member Peter Wickwire, sailing outsider Chris Dorrington (of no fixed yacht club) and Dennis Conner of America Cup fame. Unfortunately for those poor souls, OYS is a very tight sailing fraternity and rift-raft is not included in this "club of all clubs"
[edit] Landmarks
Laser Hoist The club boasts the largest and highest Laser hoist in the Northern Hemisphere. Erected in 1991, this impressive structure can hoist a Laser 1 Performance sailcraft over 87ft in the air. Far exceeding the once proud Tristate Boating and Canoe Club's 62 foot crane aptly named "big blue".
Flag Pole Many a member have summed up this impressive piece of fine-tuned flagpolemanship by stating: "that's a nice flagpole". The flagpole represents the epiphany of flagpole engineering and tuning. A pre-bend and rake facing the club's neighbors to the South allows for protection from prevailing "Rochester clippers" that often mix with the "Ontario High" to produce dramatic weather effects that any other pole would succumb to.
Co-op Cookery The club allows member use of the professional kitchen 24 / 7. Offering "endless" potatoes, Dumarier cigarettes and relaxed shotgun regulations. Clean-up is never required.
[edit] Social Issues
While visiting OYS, it is commonplace to catch a glimpse of the infamous Cameron Macrae. Both loved and loathed, Cameron carries a unique membership based on a mixture of bloodline and squater's rights. Claiming to be from the original ancestry of the club's founding father's, Cameron's membership and drysail claims are similar to that of the Mohawk Indian..
Cameron frequently finds refuge in V-Berth of past commodore Jane Lumbers J/22 performing what he calls a "ritual cleansing" of his pipes. This ritual is historically initiated to the smooth, up-beat sounds of Neil Diamond's "Sweet Caroline" while reading the September 1998 edition of Sailing World Magazine in which the past commodore and crew appear on the cover.
Cameron, known as somewhat of a philosopher has been quoted delivering the following words of wisdom:
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Another major social issue which plagues the OYS is a member by the name of Timothy Klemarow. Timmy as he is refered to by friends, is said to be starting a "Marxist Revolution" within the yacht club. His course of action, which is due to his Russian lineage of communism and infferior water craft, is the purchase or lack-there-of, of OYS's most obsolete, yet most high performance yachts, the O-Day Tempest. With ownership of the bulk of the fleet of Tempest, and an even greater fleet of Sharks, it is said that Timmy is trying to monopolize 1960 era able vessels for his own political and finacial gain. Ownership of the two largest one-design fleets at the club allows Timmy to not only to control the executive through "I gotta a really good deal for ya" or "I own the fleet" or "I gotta really good deal for the sailing school" or the most infamous "We should all sail the same boat regardless of class, race or creed.......have I got a deal for you!!!!" but also through means of stagnation of the fleets and ultimate domination of PHRF fleets by way of sailing sport boats with illegal sails owned by the clubs wealthy patrons. Although not as much as a threat as the perverted Cameron Macrae, he is said to be a close second and is compared to yesteryears "Bucaneer" because of his trade deals and complete disregard of members well-being well still under endorsement of the executive committee.
[edit] Jeremy Lucas
Known as the 2nd greatest Head Sailing Instuctor in OYS history (Mike Rustom being #1), Jeremy has recently been named the greatest sailor on the Great Lakes by a committiee of his peers. Jeremy has gained the much deserved nickname "Mr. Shark Derby" fashioned after Dennis Conners nickname "Mr. Americas Cup". Jeremy is a very modest racing champion, and will no doubt erase this very passage before most get the privlilege of reading it. Jeremy can be identified by his helmet like hair style similar to Cory Harts and his tradmark bent tillar extension.
