Notions (Winchester College)
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- This page is about Winchester College slang. For other meanings of "notion" see the disambiguation page Notion.
Notions make up a highly specialised form of slang used by pupils at Winchester College. An individual slang word or expression is known as a notion. The number of notions officially in use declines each year, with around 200 notions currently included in the official Notions book sent to New Men.
Some of the same words are used at other schools, in particular Eton and Charterhouse (e.g. Eton uses "div", though with an extended meaning), though there they are not referred to as "notions". A Wykehamist may however speak (e.g.) of "an Eton notion" or "an Oxford notion" in describing the vocabulary or traditions of another institution.
Notion also has a broader definition as "a manner or tradition peculiar to Winchester College". Hence the activity Morning Hills, when the whole school gets up early in the morning to meet on the top of St. Catherine's Hill, a nearby hill belonging to the college, can also be referred to as a notion.
A personal notion is a personal right or privilege. For example, it is a "notion" of the Prefect of Hall (head boy) to be carried into class in bed.
An academic notion is one with no significance except as a question to be asked at notions examinā.
A bad notion is a solecism: either a non-notional mode of speech or action where a notion is expected, or an attempt at a notion that misfires. A purported notion not accepted as historically authentic may be described as spurious.
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[edit] Examples
Some notions are created by shortening phrases - for example, the Dons' Common Room Notice Board became Do Co Ro No Bo; other notions derive from Latin - for example, foricas (Latin for 'lavatory') was shortened to fo. Thus a pupil might comment, "It's fortunate that the Do Co Ro has its own fo." Abbreviations are often indicated by a colon, as in eighteenth-century handwriting, for example "Sen: Co: Prae:" (Senior Commoner Prefect), or else by a macron, for example "mathmā" and "examinā". There are slight differences of vocabulary between College and Commoners, the College dialect being richer.
Some more examples of notions are:
- Man: pupil (of any age)
- Toll: run
- Bogle (sometimes spelled bogwheel): bicycle - hence the joke about not being allowed to ride one's bicycle down Canon Street, a narrow and steep street in the campus, formerly reputed to be home to prostitutes, e.g. riding one's bogle down Canon Street.
- Div: class or form
- Lob: cry (obsolete)
- To mug: to work, giving the name Mugging Hall to the room in every house (except College) where work is done in Toys.
- Toytime: homework or prep.
- Tégé (Commoner houses; pronounced "teejay") and pater (for Collegemen): a Middle Part (second year) man appointed to look after a Jun Man.
- Non licet: forbidden (hence "Non Licet Gate")
Some notions involve folk etymology.
- Scob, referring to a type of chest formerly used as a desk, exists in Middle English and is derived from Latin "scabellum"; but nineteenth-century notions books explain it as containing the sounds of "box" backwards.
- Remedy (usually shortened to "rem", most notably in "half-rem"), meaning a day's holiday, is derived from Latin "remedium", rest or refreshment, but was formerly thought to be derived from "remī day", quasi "dies remissionis".
- Firk, an old dialect word meaning to expel, gave rise to a legend that an expelled pupil had his clothes handed to him through the gate by Old Mill on a pitchfork (Latin furca).
- Toys, meaning a study cubicle, is derived from the French toise, fathom, referring to the six feet of wall space formerly allotted to each member of a chamber. However, in Chamber Rolls it is rendered into Latin as nuces, meaning "toys" as in children's playthings. (There is no connection with the house "Toye's", though "toyes" was formerly a common misspelling.)
[edit] Modern Winchester slang
Although many of the old notions are used less and less frequently by Wykehamists, a more informal slang has grown up in their place. Much of this consists of altering the vowel in a word for sarcastic effect. Examples are:
- This is quat good: This is pretty bad
- She is not very fit: This girl is not very attractive
- She is nat very fit: This girl is very attractive
- Laak (Alternative pronunciation: "lerk"): (I) don't like, e.g. "I laak your face" (pronounced "fass").
- Waant (Alternative pronunciation: "weent"): (I) don't want, e.g. " I waant double Div."
- Banter (May be pronounced with emphasis on the "a" vowel): Interesting, gossip, exciting
- Bunter (this is pronounced with an umlaut vowel sound): Boring, uninteresting banter.
Other slang words are:
- Loose (Alternative pronunciations: "Loosh"): Not up to standard, generally negative, e.g. "he's got loose banter".
- Goive: (I) don't care, e.g. "I goive about this play." This term is also used at Charterhouse School, Godalming, having been introduced by a teacher who formerly taught at Winchester.
- Guiche (Alternative versions: keesch, laqueesch, keesch lorraine): Direct contradiction of a proposal, can be noun or merely exclamation, e.g. "That's a guiche".
- Fiche (pronounced "feesh"): Rubbish, as in untrue, e.g. "That is utter fiche."
- Meats (Alternative pronunciation: "moits"): a term used for pointing out others' misfortunes or mistakes e.g. "Meats you have more toytime than me!": a hand gesture is usually used also (an open palm with the thumb stuck upwards pointing towards the person you have just given meats to).
- Chunks (this is pronounced with an 'oo' vowel sound): an extension of 'meats'. This is a modern allusion of the notion 'meats', possibly deriving from the phrase 'meaty chunks', although some claim it is a fouled pronouncement of the word 'thanks'.
- Naize: Exclamation signifying happiness at something, e.g. "x forgot to give us toytime": "Naize!" Also adjective describing something in a generally good way, or as good in its own area, e.g. "That's naize!"; "That was a naize play"; "That concert was naize!". Possibly the vowel extension of "nice" ("like" to "laak"-see above). However, the term "naize" may also carry slight sexual connotations in that it can be taken to be an adjective describing sexual pleasure of some sort, the nature of which depends on the situation in hand.
- Danger - : Performing a prohibited act of any sort, can be combined with other notions, e.g. "he's gone downstairs for a danger-naize".
Certain variations in Winchester Notions have been developed by members of Chernocke House in recent years, such as the use of the word "fine" in response to frustration or exasperation of sorts. Members of the aforementioned house also use the so-called "Chapman" voice, named after one of the few still-living legends of the school. This voice conveys sarcasm and extreme patronage, so as to swiftly reject the addressee. This has been met with a mixed reaction by members of the college; though most find it very annoying. However, recently, the voice (usually performed with a downward face and wry grin), has shown a definite spread into the other houses, especially in the lower years.
[edit] Notions books
Notions are traditionally recorded in manuscript books for the use of new men. (A decision of the Head Master in 1876 lays down "1. That Prefects are to understand that they have no power to compel juniors to copy 'Notion-Books'. 2. That any Prefect infringing the above rule will be punished by the loss of his power.")
Old examples, now in Wiccamica Room, include:
- R. Gordon, Winchester College Notions Book (1842),
- F. Fane, Winchester College Commoner Word Book (1843)
- Thomson, Winchester College Commoner Word Book (c 1855)
- J. A. Fort, Winchester College Commoner Word Book (1874)
- A. L. Royds, Winchester College Commoner Word Book (1867)
- Cripps, Winchester College Commoner Word Book (1868-72)
Printed versions are Wrench's Word Book and Three Beetleites: see Bibliography. The latter of these was long considered authoritative in Commoners.
The fullest College notions book is that by Stevens (Bibliography). This book is unusual in that it reflects the usages of the 1920s, when the author was at school, but appears to have been continually revised by the author from a scholarly point of view and typed out in the 1960s. It was edited by Christopher Stray and printed in 1998. Other manuscript books are those of Steadman (1955), Foster (c. 1969), Tabbush (1973-4) and Gay (1974). These were generally kept by whatever senior man was most interested in notions, and circulated shortly before Notions Examinā in each year. In the late 1980s this was formalized, and the custodian was known as "Keeper of the Notions and Vice-Chancellor of the University of Sutton Scotney".
A slim brochure, containing only the most basic notions in common use, is printed by P & G Wells and distributed to new men. In earlier times these were available for sale, but were confined to Commoner notions (as recorded in Three Beetleites) and never seen in College.
[edit] Notions tests
Notions examinā, or latterly just Notions (always plural), used to be an annual event unique to College, the scholars' house. It dates from the second half of the nineteenth century, when it appears to have been a formal and intimidating affair held in VIIth Chamber for College as a whole; similar events were held in Commoner houses. In 1872 there was a major scandal, known as the Tunding Row, when someone was beaten by the prefects for refusing to attend. The Warden imposed restrictions on the prefects' power to beat, and laid down that "What are called 'notions-exams' must exist no longer; that they were merely a disgraceful innovation of late years". The custom crept back on a more informal basis, being held by each chamber individually: in 1942 the Prefect of Hall's Book refers to "the difficulty of providing food at notions examinā".
Traditionally it was held after the first two weeks of Short Half (the autumn term), and was designed to test new boys' familiarity with the manners and customs of the school. In the 1970s it was held on the Saturday evening when the clocks went back; latterly it was moved nearer the end of term. It marked the point at which the New Men (new entrants to College) traditionally became known as juniors or Jun: Men.
During the evening, the scholars would gather by chamber for a meal, cooked by its members. The earlier tradition (1970s) was that this was held in an upstairs chamber (dormitory), and that the younger boys wore pyjamas and dressing gowns, while the rest remained in normal daytime costume. From the late 80s or early 90s, fancy dress was introduced. Each chamber would have a costume theme and, a few weeks in advance, the prefect in charge of each chamber would allocate fictional characters to each member of the chamber, who was then expected to dress up as that character. Examples of themes include 'Harry Potter', 'James Bond', and 'The Greek Gods'. After the meal, there would be a notions test. This test consisted of a series of esoteric questions, the answers to which the first years were expected to have learnt earlier that afternoon. Most questions were humorous in nature and many referred to people and activities from the beginning of the twentieth century. In the last few years of the custom, if a first year got a question wrong he would be liable to have the remnants of the meal thrown at him. After the test (which no-one could actually fail), all seventy Collegemen would gather in Chamber Court to sing songs peculiar to College.
The following questions are some of the more memorable:
- Can you sing? All people that on earth do dwell (spoken).
- Who is Jupiter? A notorious rascal of St. Cross, long since defunct, who has been a notion since time immemorial/immemorable. (Whichever form is used, all present loudly correct it to the other one.)
- How many feathers are there in a clump? 7; 77; 777; 7777 &c. [until told to stop]
- Which one is Moses? The one that's not Aaron.
- What was found by the Coalhole in the Coalhole? 5000 tons of processed peas.
- Who put the apple in the teapot? Somebody else.
- Who raped Chloe? Stein. Twice.
If the Jun Man did not know the answer, the first three times he could answer "My pater told me but I forgot"; the fourth, fifth, and sixth times "My pater meant to tell me, but he forgot"; and three further times "My pater forgot to tell me". His pater (his mentor from the year above) would then be asked instead. It is said that, in the earlier and more serious (pre-war) form of notions examina, if the candidate failed to answer ten questions his pater was liable to be beaten.
Many traditional College events have been heavily modified, or even completely stopped, in recent years, in order to comply with Health and Safety regulations, and also out of recognition that some of the more distasteful aspects could not be considered 'harmless fun'.
Notions itself last happened in 2001. The last two Notions tests were slightly different from the tradition outlined above: the meal eaten was cooked by the College kitchens, and officially, the only missiles used were of the paper ball variety. The questions were just the same as before, but some of the College songs were removed as they could be considered offensive. However, a certain degree of unlicensed singing did occur.
There used to be notions tests, on a far less elaborate scale, in some Commoner houses. In some, candidates were forced to drink a Notions Potion (containing anything the Sen (top year) men could get their hands on apart from bodily fluids) if they failed.
[edit] Pempe Sunday
The Pempe was formerly a practical joke perpetrated in Commoners. A junior boy was asked to obtain a book called "Pempe ton moron proteron" (send the fool further); each person he asked for it would refer him to someone else, often in a different house, until someone took pity on him. A similar joke, involving an "important letter" with the words "send the fool further", was practised in Ireland on April Fools' Day.
In College this was formalized as Pempe Sunday, held on the third Sunday of Short Half. The tradition was in abeyance from 2000 until 2002, but was restarted in 2003. It was also not held in 2005 or 2006. Each new first year was told to find a person with a given notional name and ask him for a "Pempe". That person would give him a "half vessel" (piece of paper of prescribed dimensions), and send him to someone else, also by his notional name, and so on. The penultimate person in the series (the College Matriarch) would write on the piece of paper the Greek sentence "πεμπε πεμπε τον μωρον προτερον", and the last person (the College Patriarch) would add the accents: the new man is expected to keep his "Pempe" throughout his school career.
The new men are then allowed to throw any top-year into Logie, the stream which runs past the College. Formerly they were allowed to roll top-years down the steps of College Hall unless they could produce a completed Pempe from their first year; this practice was already obsolete by the 1970s, but was apparently revived for a time in the early 1990s. The notions books refer to it obscurely, by saying that it is a personal notion of juniors "to brock (bully or tease) four-year men without Pempes".
Examples of notional names include "Classicus" (the junior man in the senior classics form), "Ecclesiasticus" (the senior man in the junior classics form), "The Cryptic Copt in the Coptic Crypt" (the occupant of a tunnel-like study in Vth Chamber), "The Keeper of the College Ugly Sister", "The College Co-founder of J&J Incorporated" and "College Dorothy with Pickaxe in Spinal Column".
By tradition, a notions book may not define a "Pempe" except for calling it "A necessity for all new men".
[edit] Epideixis
Epideixis is an event held uniquely for Collegemen in VIIth chamber on the night before the first game of X's, the original purpose being as an exercise in cheer-leading for the game. It involves the Captain of X's asking a list of questions of the form "Who is the..." or "Who does..." (identifying people or groups of people by their notional names, or activities that they may have perpetrated). The relevant people then run into the centre of the chamber shouting "Co-o-o-llege!", prolonging the first syllable as much as possible. The last group to be called up is invariably "The Hot" (the scrum in the College X's team). It is still very much as it was, though the questions are now subject to a mild degree of censorship.
[edit] Bibliography
- Wrench, Robert George K., Winchester Word Book: a Collection of Past and Present Notions: Winchester 1891
- Lawson, W.H., Hope, J.R. and Cripps, A.H.S., Winchester College Notions, by Three Beetleites: Winchester 1901
- Charles Stevens (ed. Stray, Christopher), Winchester Notions: The English Dialect of Winchester College: London 1998, ISBN 0-485-11525-5 (Hardback); London, 1999 ISBN 0-485-12138-7 (paperback).
