User:Nissi Kim
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| Jehovah-Nissi Kim | |
 "You're ridiculous. You stupid, stupid man." - Jehovah-Nissi Kim
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| Born | December 1, 1988 Los Angeles, California, United States |
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| Died | April 15, 2056 Amazon Rain Forest, Brazil Global Warming and Syphillis |
| Other names | "Nissi" "The Almighty" |
| Occupation | Prince of Wales, Count of Monte Cristo, Inventor, Bounty Hunter, World Chess Champion and International Grandmaster, Professional Boxer, Satirist and Lyricist, Mass Murderer |
| Title | Prince of Wales, Knight, Count, Esquire, Sarge, International Grandmaster, Doctor, Counselor, Teacher |
| Religious belief | Southern Baptist, Judaism, Compassionate conservatism |
Jehovah-Nissi "The Almighty" Kim (December 1, 1988 – April 15, 2056) was the twenty-seventh Prince of Wales and the original Count of Monte Cristo. An inventor, he improved daily hygiene, among many other things, by creating the toilet paper holder found in most modern bathrooms. He is also recorded in the Guiness Book of World Records for capturing the most illegal immigrants, 34526, in a span of three hours, ten minutes, and forty-five seconds on July 21, 2020; 79 percent of the captured were Chinese, 52 percent were Indian, and 28 percent were Canadian. Despite popular belief, the supposed IBM computer that defeated the chess grandmaster, Garry Kasparov, in Deep Blue - Kasparov, 1997, Game 6 was not actually a computer. It was, instead, Jehovah-Nissi Kim who gained victory over the famous chess mogul in six games; he is also indirectly the cause of Kasparov's early retirement in 2005. Immediately after the defeat of Kasparov, Kim began training to enter the professional boxing arena; this is where he recieved his nickname, "The Almighty". In his boxing career, he became the first welterweight to hold the World Boxing Association title for the heavyweight class. One ESPN observer of Kim's career once claimed he, "floated like a bee and stung like a butterfly." However, his boxing tenure became tainted after he bit off the ears of Mike Tyson in The Bite Fight Part II. Late in his life, he became mentally ill after watching Al Gore's movie, An Inconvenient Truth, and his late diagnosis of syphillis. His mental incapabilities lead to his infamous attack on hippies at the Second Tiananmen Square Massacre on February 24, 2053. He later died on April 15, 2056 as a result of global warming and his poor health from his untreated STD in the heart of the Amazon rain forest.
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[edit] Early Life
5 years after this strange and queer boy was born, a miraculous thing happened in his life. His sister[1],Shalom was born. His sister changed his view on life but he was constantly overshadowed by his amazing sister. She had the ability to steal people's food, read minds[2], and have super-sonic memory [3]. She was loved by all. Including Nissi. This young girl had made his life completely turn around. Sometimes, he often wondered how such a little girl could change his completely hopelessly miserable life into something so magnificent life.
