Never Mind the Buzzcocks

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Never Mind the Buzzcocks

Genre	Quiz show, Comedy
Starring	Simon Amstell (host, 2006-Present) Mark Lamarr (host, 1996-2005) Phill Jupitus (all series) Bill Bailey (2002-Present) Sean Hughes (1996-2002)
Country of origin	United Kingdom
No. of episodes	152 (List of episodes)
Production
Running time	30 minutes
Broadcast
Original channel	BBC
Original run	1996 – Present
Links
Official website

Never Mind the Buzzcocks is a comedy panel game show with a pop and rock music theme, presented by Simon Amstell and produced by talkbackTHAMES for the BBC. It is usually aired on BBC Two. The title plays on the names of the Sex Pistols' Never Mind the Bollocks album, and the band Buzzcocks. Series 20 of Never Mind The Buzzcocks concluded on 7 March 2007 with the announcement of a new series beginning in the autumn.

The show is infamous for its dry, sarcastic humour and scathing, provocative attacks on the pop industry. Victims of former host Mark Lamarr's attacks have included James Blunt, Bruce Dickinson, Brian Molko, The Cheeky Girls, Robbie Williams, Jonathan King, Phil Collins, Blue, Courtney Love, Peter Andre, Westlife, Geri Halliwell, Claire Sweeney, Dido, Sophie Ellis-Bextor, and Elton John. He also attacked Chris Moyles, Chris Evans, Patrick Kielty and Jimmy Carr.

The show has been running since 1996, presented, from its inception until December 2005, by Mark Lamarr (who also produced the show, from 2004 through to his departure) and Simon Amstell, who started in October 2006, and featuring regular team captains Phill Jupitus, Sean Hughes (until May 2002), and Bill Bailey (since September 2002).

At the end of 2005, it was announced that Mark Lamarr was to take a break from the show after 150 episodes, to concentrate on other projects. The series that aired in spring 2006 was hosted by guest presenters, before being permanently handed over to Amstell. Classic episodes currently air on VH1 and episodes from more recent years are currently shown on UKTV G2.

1 Format
- 1.1 Rounds
- 1.2 International versions
2 Merchandise
- 2.1 Book
- 2.2 Board game
3 Trivia
4 Notes
5 External links

[edit] Format

In the show, celebrities (usually comedians or musicians) are given tasks, such as guessing which song introduction their team-mates are attempting to recreate (with no instruments or props), and guessing which of three implausible stories about a popular musician are true.

Publicity shot for Never Mind the Buzzcocks' 19th run: Phill Jupitus (team captain), Simon Amstell (presenter) and Bill Bailey (team captain)

[edit] Rounds

The first round of the show has varied over the series. Some of the rounds featured are:

Connections, where each team must work out the unlikely connection between two musicians.
Sorry, No Refunds, where each team must guess the real reason, out of three given, why a musical act cancelled a gig.
Indecipherable Lyrics, where each team must work out the real lyrics to a song.
Band Names, a round where the teams are asked to give the origins of the name of a musical act.
Freeze Frame, where each team is shown a music video, and the action is paused half-way. It's up to the teams to guess what happens next. Examples include Bruce Springsteen's video for "Dancing in the Dark" when he plucked an unknown Courteney Cox from the audience, and the AC/DC video "Big Gun" where school uniform-wearing guitarist Angus Young kicks a cap into the air which is picked up by Arnold Schwarzenegger, whose clothing turns into that of Young's, as he takes on the guitar solo.
Word Up, where each team is given a lesser-known word in a song and are asked what that word means. Examples include Colitas, in The Eagles song "Hotel California", or Beltane in T. Rex's "Ride a White Swan".
I Fought the Law, where each team is shown a pop act, and have to guess how they fell foul of the law, from three possible choices. When they have chosen their answer, they are told the actual answer, and for a bonus point, they have to guess who came out on top on that occasion. Examples include when The Clash were arrested, in Newcastle-upon-Tyne, in the 1970s, for stealing pillowcases from a hotel, and Shaun Ryder, of the Happy Mondays, was arrested after crashing his car into a vicar's Lada and driving off.
Inspector Rock, similar to "I Fought the Law", where each team has to decide how a certain object got an artist/band in trouble with the police. Examples included Courtney Love and some plumbing, Marilyn Manson and his genitals and Peter Buck of R.E.M. and a pot of yogurt.
Do You Know Who I Am?, where the teams are shown a clip of a band, and they have to guess which, of three possible answers, was an outrageous backstage demand of said artists. Examples are ZZ Top's livestock on their 1976 world tour, Janet Jackson insisting on new black toilet seats being installed wherever she tours and Roger Daltrey of The Who insisting on a pint of Haagen-Dazs ice-cream to be placed on stage at regular intervals.
Mama Said 'Knock You Out', a new round introduced in 2006, where the teams are shown two artists and asked for the reason behind a feud between them, out of three options. One example is a feud between So Solid Crew and Westlife over a Brit Award.
What Have We Pixellated?, a new round introduced in 2006, where the teams are shown a music video each, where a portion of the video has been pixellated in a compromising situation, and they have to work out what is behind the digital blur. One example is of Shakira's La Tortura where the scene in which she is chopping onions on her lap was pixellated.
Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?, a new round introduced in 2007, where teams have to guess which of 3 items mentioned injured a particular music artist.

One-off mini-rounds were played throughout the 2006 Autumn season as jokes, all characterised by the same silly jingle. These rounds are:

Beaver Or Diva?, in which the teams are shown a close-up photo of some hair and are asked if it is the fur of a beaver or the hair of a diva. The third one, intended as a phonetic joke, was property guru Naomi Cleaver.
Who Is Lily Saying This About?, played when Lily Allen appeared on the show, where the teams are told what Lily said about other artists, and had to guess who she was talking about. However, one of the sentences was said by Jamelia, another guest on the same show.
Is This Person One Of David Gest's Showbusiness Friends?, played when David Gest appeared on the Christmas 2006 Bumper Edition of the show, where the teams are given a celebrity's name and have to guess whether or not they are friends of David Gest.

The second round is the Intros round, where each team is given two or three songs, that two of the team must orally convey the intro (or in one case the instrumental section) of, without using lyrics or words, so their team-mate can guess.

Publicity shot for Never Mind the Buzzcocks, episode aired on 13 March 2005 Front row: Phill Jupitus (team captain), Mark Lamarr (presenter) and Bill Bailey (team captain) Back row: Emma Griffiths, Magne Furuholmen (a-ha), Terri Walker and Richard Fairbrass (Right Said Fred)

The third round is the Identity Parade, where each team is given the name of a musician, and must spot him or her in a line-up of (usually) five individuals. The models are always introduced in order, and all but the first introduced will generally be described by a partial oronym of the target's name. Most of the time, the individuals could plausibly be the musician named, but there have been some notable exceptions:

In a 1999 episode, Lamarr joined the line-up with Bob Cotton of 50s revival rockers The Jets, due to the quiffs. Sean Hughes quipped that the rest of the line-up were dressed like the Fonz from Happy Days, but Lamarr was dressed as Mr. Cunningham. Inevitably, Hughes' team incorrectly picked Lamarr.
A semi-regular member of the line-up is a black man named Athelston Williams (gaining a credit at the end of an episode in 2000), who never seems to blink or show facial expression. He is present regardless of the appearance of the hidden musician. He was once included in a lineup for The Nolan Sisters. On another occasion, Jupitus walked up to him, fell to his knees and demanded "What do you want from us?". One week, when he wasn't available, an Athelston lookalike was brought in. He was a regular in the series with guest presenters as the drummer for the pub band in the sketches played under the closing credits (once again immobile).
Another semi-regular, during 2004, was a man dressed as a pirate holding a sword up, who, in his first appearance, was forced to drop his sword when Lamarr and all of Phil's team walked out and stared him down, until he dropped it. His repeat appearances in the show sometimes resulted in all of the line-up, except the artist themselves, appearing dressed up in pirate clothing, including, on one occasion, Athelston. Athelston Williams is a model for Ugly/Rage Modelling.

The psychotic-looking man, from the episode aired on 31 January 2007

A new regular during the current season is a psychotic looking, curly-haired man, wearing overalls. No matter what happens, he keeps staring at the team that's playing. Bailey once compared him to a mutant from the horror film Wrong Turn. Amstell has walked up to him both times he has appeared so far. At the first appearance, Amstell tried to move the model's arms and head, but couldn't, because they were "a bit stiff". All that would move was the model's hair. The second time, Amstell put Donny Tourette's glasses on the man, grabbed his arms, and made him do the hand gestures Tourette had "showed off" earlier. At the end of the round, the man walked off stage with his arms still in the position.

Occasionally, other games involving a 'line-up' are played in place of the Identity Parade, including:

Dress You Up, only played twice in 2001, where the teams each get a model dressed in five items of popstars' bizarre items of clothing, and have to guess which item of clothing belongs to who. For example - one model wore a hat like Badly Drawn Boy, an oversized jacket like David Byrne of Talking Heads, a Volkswagen medallion like Beastie Boys, a mini-moustache like Ron Mael of Sparks and a Union Jack dress like Geri Haliwell.
Dance Craze, only played once in 2001, where the teams are shown three dances to completely different music, and have to guess what moves they are. Moves included Prince Charming as portrayed by Adam and the Ants, The Twist by Chubby Checker and Achy Breaky Heart by Billy Ray Cyrus.
Biggie to Smalls, played once in 2006 and again in 2007, in which the teams have to put four celebrities into the correct order from biggest to smallest — the exact criteria varying with the question. For example, the first was to put Flavor Flav, Pete Doherty, Courtney Love and Pete Burns into the correct order of the times they had spent in prison, from shortest to longest. The other was to put Melanie Brown, Kenny Rogers, Britney Spears and Mick Jagger in the order of their respective divorce settlements. In this round, all celebrities were represented by people dressed up to more or less look like the real celebrity in a well-known and/or slightly ridiculous outfit. The name of this round is a pun on the name of the late rapper Biggie Smalls.

The final round is Next Lines round, where each team is given a lyric from a song, and must give the following lyric. Each team must attempt to give as many following lyrics as they can, within a time limit. A regular feature of this round is a guest musician on either team being given lyrics from their own songs, and invariably getting the next line wrong. However, when this trick was sprung upon Guy McKnight, the 80s Matchbox B-Line Disaster singer not only recognized his own work but pointed out an error in the lyrics quoted to him by the host. (presumably an error on the question cards). He received a point for his efforts. Also on Mark Lamarr's last episode, Robert King and Sumon Sanyal (of X-Factor infamy) performed the next lines.

For the Christmas Eve 2006 Bumper Edition, the Next Lines round was omitted in order that the teams, plus a guest band and members of that show's Identity Parade, performed a particular song (chosen, in a short skit, by Dreidel). Phill's team, with the Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain, performed Rachel Stevens' "Some Girls", and Bill's, with a Bollywood Bhangra band, Rednex' "Cotton-Eyed Joe".

In the first series of 2005, Mark Lamarr introduced a new segment after the end of the quiz proper, where Lamarr tells the audience punchlines which weren't used during the show. Often these have included incongruous references to fingerless gloves.

[edit] International versions

In 2002, an American version of the show on VH1, hosted by comedian Marc Maron, lasted for a month. Three years prior, Dweezil and Ahmet Zappa hosted a similarly-formatted show, for USA network, in the US, called Happy Hour. An Australian show, Spicks and Specks, hosted by stand-up comedian Adam Hills and presented in a similar format, has broadcasted on the ABC since 2005.

[edit] Merchandise

[edit] Book

In 1999, BBC Worldwide published Never Mind the Buzzcocks: The Book, the CD, the Brief Intense Rush (followed by a feeling of paranoia and insecurity). The book includes famous moments from the first five series of the show, from selected Identity Parades, I Fought The Law, Word Up and Connections rounds, along with collections of Mark Lamarr's one-liners from the show, and some new material written especially for the book. The CD is an Intros round game to play at home.

[edit] Board game

In 2000, Paul Lamond Games released the Never Mind the Buzzcocks board game, licensed from the BBC and Talkback. The board game is played as follows: the players arrange themselves into two teams. They have two counters each on the board - one as a point marker along the edge of the board and the other to select the round they have to play on the roll of a dice. There are six rounds that can be played:

In the Style of..., where the team leader has to sing a song in the style of someone notable, e.g. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star in the style of Mick Jagger. or Start Me Up in the style of Jeremy Clarkson.
When I Was Famous, where the team leader asks a trivia question, and the other team members have to guess the answer.
Intros round, the only surviving round from the TV show. Each team gets one intro per round.
Vital Vinyl, where the team leader asks a trivia question about a song or an album, and anyone from either team can answer.
Songs in One Sentence, where the team leader divides their team into two, and one section of the team has to describe a song without mentioning the song title or any lyrics in the song, and the other section has to guess what the song is.
Your Number's Up, where the team leader reads the category on the card to the opposite team, for example, name four songs that mention American states in their titles, for which you might answer Massachusetts (The Bee Gees), Hotel California (The Eagles), Englishman in New York (Sting), and Sweet Home Alabama (Lynyrd Skynyrd)

The teams earn the number of points given for the round on the card. For "In the Style of...", it is always one point for the song, and two points for the artist they are doing the song in the style of. At the end of their turn, the team moves their counter on the outer ring clockwise, by the number of points they scored.

The team that overtakes the other on the squares on the edge of the board wins the game.

[edit] Trivia

On an episode aired in 2001, Cradle of Filth's Dani Filth was a guest on the panel, and was subsequently banned from ever appearing on the show again, after Dani and other members of the panel became "Hopelessly drunk".

In most of the episodes in the Spring 2006 series, there was an intro or outro sketch where Phill, Bill and Athelston (see above) played in a pub band called Fat, Gifted and Black (a play on Young, Gifted and Black). The guest presenter would usually be the lead singer for this segment (e.g. Lauren Laverne, and Ricky Wilson)

The current host, Simon Amstell, appeared twice as a panellist (Series 13, Episode 8 and Series 16, Episode 11), and once as a guest presenter (Series 18, Episode 2)

The opening quote when Kaiser Chiefs lead singer Ricky Wilson guest presented was "I am contractually obliged to say 'I predict a laugh riot!'"

The Ordinary Boys lead singer Samuel Preston walked off the show after Simon Amstell read an extract from the autobiography of his wife, Chantelle Houghton.^[1] He was replaced by audience member Ed Seymour, picked out by Bailey (on the grounds that he was of the closest physical resemblence that could be found), and credited as "special guest".^[2]