Myron Cohen

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Myron Cohen (July 1, 1902 – March 10, 1986) was an American comedian and storyteller.

He was a nightclub entertainer in the 1950s and 1960s, recording several live record albums and also frequently appearing on TV variety programs such as The Ed Sullivan Show.

Although he spoke perfect, cultured English, he was a master at capturing the ethnic accents of the Jewish citizens of New York City. In this joke, the reader must imagine two middle-aged ladies with the proper accents:

Two women, who have known each other all their lives, who are like sisters, are visiting one day. The first woman says, "I don't know how to tell you this... I'm having an affair!" The second woman asks, "So who's the caterer?"

Son walks in on Old World, traditional father, who's watching a basketball game. Son is stunned: "Dad, I didn't know you liked basketball; what's the score?" Dad replies, "78 to 62." "Who's winning?" Dad says, "78."

He could also do other accents, as with this example:

A Texan, visiting New York for the first time, finds himself lost, in the Lower East Side, a predominantly Jewish neighborhood. He asks a resident, "Can y'all tell me where ah am?" The resident takes one look and says, "Brudder, you're not in Marlboro Country!"

Here is an M. Cohen joke from one of his 50s records: A couple is before a divorce judge. The judge says: "And so Madam, I am going to find for you that you receive 400 dollars per week for the rest of your life or until such time that you remarry." And the husband says: "You know, judge, that's so fair of you that I also shall throw in a couple of dollars."

Cohen popularized the Klopman diamond gags.

Cohen is interred at Cedar Park Cemetery, in Emerson, New Jersey.