Money (Blackadder)
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| Blackadder Episode | |
| Money | |
 The baby-eating Bishop of Bath and Wells |
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|---|---|
| Air date | 05/02/1986 |
| Writer(s) | Ben Elton Richard Curtis |
| Director | Mandie Fletcher |
| Guest star(s) | Ronald Lacey Cassie Stuart Lesley Nicol John Pierce Jones Tony Aitken Leonardo Philip Pope Piers Ibbotson Barry Craine |
| ← Prev Potato |
Next → Beer |
Money is the forth episode of the BBC sitcom Blackadder II, the second series of Blackadder, which was set in Elizabethan England from 1558 to 1603.
Contents |
[edit] Plot
Blackadder is disturbed at four in the morning by the baby-eating Bishop of Bath and Wells, who has come to collect on a loan. A year before the episode, Blackadder borrowed one thousand pounds from the Bank of the Black Monks of St. Herod (whose motto is "Banking with a smile and a stab"), and the debt is now due. When Blackadder admits that he cannot pay ("I've gone and lost my wallet," he claims, rather unconvincingly), the Bishop takes him to a graveyard, where they visit the grave of a previous customer. The Bishop informs Blackadder that he has until sundown to raise the money, or he will be disembowelled with a red-hot poker.
Since Blackadder only has eighty-five pounds in the whole world, he has to work quickly to get some more money. Unfortunately, he is interrupted by a summons from the Queen. After cracking a ridiculously juvenile joke at his expense, the Queen forces Blackadder to pay up on her bet with Lord Melchett that Blackadder wouldn't fall for the joke. Rather conveniently, the bet is for eighty-five pounds, and Blackadder is left penniless - although due to what he calls "an elaborate web of lies", the entire court believe him to be incredibly rich.
Upon returning home, Baldrick develops a cunning plan, suggesting that Blackadder become a rent boy down at the docks. Blackadder is desperate for the money, so dresses Baldrick up and takes him to the docks where they encounter a fat and immature sailor who pays them sixpence for a kiss, a goodnight story and a "good, hard shag". After Baldrick suggests that they bet the money on a cock fight after entering a bird which is a dead cert but has odds of forty thousand to one, Blackadder is again summoned to the Queen, who pretends to apologise for her previous infantile joke. The apology is of course just another joke, and Blackadder is quickly relieved of his sixpence so that the Queen can play a game of shove halfpenny. While he is at the palace, Lord Percy utilises Blackadder's living room to attempt to discover the secret of alchemy and thus restore Blackadder's fortunes. Unfortunately all he ends up producing is a terrible smell and a lump of a green glowing substance, which does not impress Blackadder, although Percy plans to make it into jewellery.
Returning home once more, Blackadder determines that he must sell his house, and puts it on the market. He manages to sell it to a couple on the strength of the lack of indoor lavatories ("I can't stand those dirty indoor things," the wife says after confirming that the privy facilities consist of nothing more than a window and the street), and Baldrick beats the husband up until he agrees to pay £1100.
In this apparent moment of triumph, the Queen again summons Edmund to the palace, where she claims that the French intend to invade and that every noble must pay five hundred pounds for the upkeep of the navies. Unfortunately for Blackadder, Lord Melchett is also penniless, and the Queen declares that since Edmund is "so fabulously wealthy", he can pay double to compensate. Blackadder protests that he has a cash flow problem, but the Queen notices his bulging purse containing just over a thousand pounds. Blackadder claims it is just small change he left in his codpiece by accident, which impresses the Queen greatly, but upon returning home Blackadder is faced with the imminent prospect of death, as he now has no money and will shortly not be in possession of his house any longer.
At the last minute, Blackadder comes up with a cunning plan, and sends Baldrick out to obtain a number of items including a sleeping draught and the finest portrait painter in England. Baldrick returns with Leonardo Acropolis, who hides in the bedroom while the Bishop arrives. After admitting to being a colossal pervert ("animal, vegetable, or mineral - I'll do anything to anything") the Bishop prepares to kill Blackadder, but takes a drink of sleeping draught from Baldrick and falls unconscious.
When he awakens, he is presented with a painting of himself in a hugely compromising position with another figure who turns out to be Lord Percy, dressed in a pink leather dress. Blackadder uses this painting to blackmail the Bishop into writing off his debt and giving him a considerable amount of money to buy back his house and cover some other sundry expenses. The Bishop is impressed with the depths of Blackadder's scheme, and asks him if he has ever considered a career in the Church, suggesting that he is not the only clergyman involved in shady schemes on the side.
[edit] Significance
- This episode takes place at least one year after the previous episode, since we learn that Blackadder borrowed money "a year ago", and he spent the previous episode at sea for two years.
- Edmund's sexual proclivities are revealed to be somewhat unusual ("Most girls would charge an extra sixpence for all the horrible things he wants to do.").
- We find out that Blackadder is not, and never has been, wealthy ("A cunning web of deceit, subtly spun about the court to improve my standing, unfortunately.").
- Percy is revealed to be even more gullible than we thought ("Oh, my god, Percy! A giant hummingbird is about to eat your hat and cloak!")
[edit] Trivia
- During the opening sequence, when the purse falls open, you can see a Polo mint. Ironic, seeing as in Blackadder: Back & Forth the modern-day Blackadder accidentally introduces the Polo to Queen Elizabeth in the same time period as Blackadder II.
- The unique locations of this episode were a graveyard, the docks, and Blackadder's bedroom.
