Minor characters from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

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There are many minor characters in the various versions of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, by Douglas Adams. In fact, defining a major character is rather difficult. If the major characters are those the plot focuses on, they are Arthur Dent, Ford Prefect, Zaphod Beeblebrox, Marvin, Trillian and Slartibartfast with the possible inclusion of Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz, Random Dent and Fenchurch. If they are defined as characters appearing in all the books, they are only Ford Prefect and Arthur Dent. In this case, the definition of major characters will be those in the series with major plot significance not appearing on this list.

Contents 1 Agrajag 2 Alice Beeblebrox, Mrs 3 Allitnils, The 4 Almighty Bob 5 Anjie 6 Arcane Jill Watson 7 Arcturan Megafreighter crew 8 Barmen 8.1 Barman of the Horse and Groom 8.2 Barman in Old Pink Dog Bar 8.3 Barman in the Domain of the King 9 BBC department head 10 Blart Versenwald III 11 Bodyguard 12 Caveman 13 Colin 14 Dr. Dan Streetmentioner 15 Deep Thought 16 Disaster Area's chief research accountant 17 Dish of the Day 18 East River Creature 19 Eccentrica Gallumbits 20 Eddie 21 Effrafax of Wug 22 Elders of Krikkit 23 Elvis Presley 24 Emperor of the Galaxy 25 Eric Bartlett 26 Fenchurch 27 Frankie and Benjy mouse 28 Frogstar Prisoner Relations Officer 29 Gag Halfrunt 30 Gail Andrews 31 Gargravarr 32 Garkbit 33 Genghis Temüjin Khan 34 Great Green Arkleseizure 35 God 36 Gogrilla Mincefriend 37 Golgafrinchans 37.1 Agda and Mella 37.2 Captain 37.3 Great Circling Poets of Arium 37.4 Hairdresser 37.5 Management consultant 37.6 Marketing girl 37.7 Number One 37.8 Number Two 37.9 Telephone Sanitizer 38 Grunthos the Flatulent 39 Hactar 40 Haggunenon Underfleet Commander 41 Happy Vertical People Transporters 42 Hig Hurtenflurst 43 Hotblack Desiato 44 Humma Kavula 45 Hurling Frootmig 46 Ix 47 Judiciary Pag 48 Karl Mueller 49 Krikkiters 50 Mrs Enid Kapelsen 51 Know-Nothing Bozo the Non-Wonder Dog 52 Kwaltz 53 Lady Cynthia Fitzmelton 54 Lajestic Vantrashell of Lob 55 Lallafa 56 Lazlar Lyricon 57 Lig Lury, Jr 58 Lintilla 59 Loonquawl 60 Lord, The 61 Lord High Sanvalvwag of Hollop 62 Lunkwill and Fook 63 Magician 64 Majikthise and Vroomfondel 65 Max Quordlepleen 66 Mo Minetti 67 Murray Bost Henson 68 Old Man on the Poles 69 Old Thrashbarg 70 Old Woman in the Cave 71 Oolon Colluphid 72 Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings 73 Phouchg 74 Poodoo 75 Prak 76 Pralite monks 77 President Hudson 78 Princess Hooli 79 Mr Prosser 80 Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz 81 Questular Rontok 82 Receptionists 82.1 New York Hotel receptionist 82.2 Megadodo receptionist 83 Random Dent 84 Reg Nullify 85 Rob McKenna 86 Roosta 87 The Ruler of the Universe 88 Russell 89 Safety and Civil Reassurance Administration Officials 90 Sheila Steafel 91 Shooty and Bang Bang 92 Six Men 93 Stavro Mueller 94 Strinder the Tool Maker 95 Slartibartfast 96 Sulijoo 97 The thing at the Resettlement Advice Centre on Pintleton Alpha 98 Thor 99 Tribesmen of the Cold Hillsides 100 Trin Tragula 101 Varntvar The Priest 102 Veet Voojagig 103 Vroomfondel and Majikthise 104 War Command Krikkiters 105 Will Smithers 106 Whale 107 Wise Old Bird, The 108 Wonko the Sane 109 Wowbagger, the Infinitely Prolonged 110 Yooden Vranx 111 Zaphod Beeblebrox the Fourth 112 Zarniwoop / Vann Harl 113 Zarquon 114 Zem 115 Reference 116 See also 117 External links

[edit] Agrajag

Agrajag is a piteous creature that is continually reincarnated and subsequently killed unknowingly by Arthur Dent each time. Agrajag first appears in the series as a falling bowl of petunias, although he is not identified as being the petunias until a later book. In another incarnation, he was a prehistoric rabbit who was killed by Arthur for breakfast and whose skin was fashioned into a pouch, which is then used to swat a fly who also happened to be Agrajag. In yet another, he dies of a heart attack after seeing Arthur and Ford materialize, seated on a Chesterfield sofa, in the midst of a cricket match at Lord's Cricket Ground.

Eventually, Agrajag becomes aware of his many past incarnations and wishes to take revenge on Arthur Dent. He diverts Arthur's teleportation to the Cathedral of Hate for revenge, but mistakenly does so before the death of one of his incarnations has actually happened, thus making the attempt logically impossible. Agrajag tries to kill Arthur anyway, and once again dies at Arthur's hands, but not before setting off the explosives intended to kill Arthur in a massive rockfall. Because of cause and effect and the laws of time and the universe (not to mention dramatic necessity), Arthur escapes the rockfall and goes on to witness the death of Agrajag that hadn't yet happened when he was diverted to the Cathedral of Hate. In Mostly Harmless Agrajag is shot and killed by Random Frequent Flyer Dent, Arthur's daughter, at the club Beta when she is startled by him. Agrajag believed the shot was aimed at Arthur and Arthur's ducking constituted that Arthur had once again killed Agrajag, in Agrajag's point of view.

In the 2004/2005 BBC Radio series versions of the last three books of Adams' series, Douglas Adams plays Agrajag, having recorded the part for an audiobook version of Life, The Universe and Everything. Producer Dirk Maggs added a suitable voice treatment, and Simon Jones as Arthur Dent recorded his lines opposite the pre-recorded Adams. Adams was thus able to "reincarnate" to participate in the new series.

Appears in:

• The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (named only as "bowl of petunias")
• Life, the Universe, and Everything
• Mostly Harmless

[edit] Alice Beeblebrox, Mrs

Alice Beeblebrox is Zaphod's favourite mother, and guards the true story of Zaphod's visit to the Frogstar, waiting for "the right price." She is referenced in Fit the Eighth.

[edit] Allitnils, The

As their names were written to suggest, every Allitnil is an anti-clone of a Lintilla. They were created by the cloning company to eliminate the billions of cloned Lintillas flooding out of a malfunctioning cloning machine. Being anti-clones, when an Allitnil comes into physical contact with a Lintilla, they both wink out of existence in a puff of unsmoke.

Along with Poodoo and Varntvar the Priest, three Allitnils arrived on Brontitall to get the three Lintillas there to "agree to cease to be". Two of the clones eliminate their corresponding Lintillas, but Arthur shoots the third Allitnil, so that one Lintilla survives.

Appearing only in the final episode of the second radio series, every one of the Allitnils are voiced by David Tate.

[edit] Almighty Bob

The Almighty Bob is a deity worshipped by the people of Lamuella. Old Thrashbarg is one of the priests who worships Almighty Bob; however, Thrashbarg is often ignored by the villagers of Lamuella.

[edit] Anjie

Anjie was a woman, on the brink of retirement, and on whose behalf a raffle was being held in order to buy her a kidney machine. An unnamed woman convinces Arthur Dent to buy raffle tickets while he and Fenchurch are in a railway pub, attempting to have lunch. Arthur won an album of bagpipe music.

Referred to in: So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

[edit] Arcane Jill Watson

Wife of John Watson, aka Wonko the Sane. Appears in So Long, and Thanks for all the Fish. Arcane Jill Watson tells Arthur on the phone the number of light years her husband is from the phone, and invites Arthur and Fenchurch to California. Also, Arcane is known to be the one who fills John Watson's fish bowl (A parting gift from the dolphins) with wheat germ, and when it was empty at the time of Arthur and Fenchurch's visit, going to buy some more wheat germ to fill it.

[edit] Arcturan Megafreighter crew

The captain and first officer were the only crew of an Arcturan Megafreighter carrying a larger number of copies of Playbeing magazine than the mind can comfortably conceive. They brought Zaphod Beeblebrox to Ursa Minor Beta, after he had escaped from the Haggunenon flag ship. Zaphod was let on board by the Number One, who was cynical about the Guide's editors becoming soft. He admired the fact that Zaphod was "hitching the hard way".

They only appear in Fit the Seventh of the radio series, where the captain is played by David Tate, and his number one by Bill Paterson. However, some of their dialogue was given to other characters in The Restaurant at the End of the Universe.

[edit] Barmen

Three different barmen appear during the series.

[edit] Barman of the Horse and Groom

In the first book, in the TV series and the film, Ford and Arthur quickly down three pints - at lunchtime - to calm their muscles before using the teleport to escape on the Vogon ship. Being told the world is about to end he calls "last orders, please." The Red Lion Inn was used during the TV series (Adams himself can be seen in the background of this scene). This barman was played by David Gooderson in the original radio series and Stephen Moore in the LP recording. In the 2005 motion picture, Albie Woodington portrayed this particular barman.

[edit] Barman in Old Pink Dog Bar

Ford visits the Old Pink Dog Bar in Han Dold City, orders a round for everyone and then tries to use an American Express card to pay for it, fails, is threatened by a disembodied hand and so offers a Guide write-up instead. This happens in So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish. In the radio adaptation of this novel, the barman was played by Arthur Smith.

[edit] Barman in the Domain of the King

Another barman takes a galactic size tip for Elvis from Ford on his Hitchhiker's corporate Dine-O-Charge credit card in an attempt to bankrupt InfiniDim Enterprises in Mostly Harmless and the final radio series. This bartender was played by Roger Gregg.

[edit] BBC department head

When Arthur returns to the Earth in So Long and Thanks for All the Fish he calls his department head to explain why he was AWOL from work the last six months: "I've gone mad.". His superior is very relaxed about it and asks when Arthur will return to work, and is quite satisfied by the reply "When do hedgehogs stop hibernating?". In the recent radio series, the part is played by Geoffrey Perkins.

[edit] Blart Versenwald III

In the epilogue of So Long and Thanks for All the Fish, Blart Versenwald III was a top genetic engineer, and a man who could never keep his mind on the job at hand. When his homeworld was under threat from an invading army, he was tasked with creating an army of super-soldiers to fight them. Instead, he created (among other things) an off-switch for children and a remarkable new breed of superfly that could distinguish between solid glass and an open window. Fortunately, because the invaders were only invading because they couldn't cope with things back home, they too were impressed with Blart's creations, and a flurry of economic treaties rapidly secured peace.

There is apparently a relevance of this tale to So Long and Thanks for All The Fish, but it temporarily escaped the author's mind.

[edit] Bodyguard

The strong silent type, an unnamed bodyguard is seen guarding the late Hotblack Desiato in The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, the LP adaptation of the radio series and Episode Five of the TV series. He is portrayed as a man of few words but who can lift Ford Prefect clean off the floor. The character is played by actor David Prowse. In the LP adaptation of the radio series, the character was voiced by David Tate.

[edit] Caveman

Not even able to spell "Grunt" and "Agh" and in concequence not make a suitable opponent at Scrabble for Arthur Dent ("he's probably spelt library with one R"). The caveman points at his spelling of "FORTY TWO" the game board gives Arthur the idea to pull out letters from the letters bag at random to attempt to find the ultimate question. Either the Vogons destroying the Earth five minutes too early, or the Golgafrinchan's interference results in Arthur's brainwave patterns providing the unhelpful "What do you get when you multiply six by nine?".

Appears in Fit the Sixth, the novel The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, and TV Episode Six.

[edit] Colin

Colin is a small, round, melon-sized, flying security robot which Ford Prefect enslaves to aid in his escape from the newly re-organized Guide offices in Mostly Harmless. Ford captures Colin by trapping the robot with his towel and re-wiring the robot's pleasure circuits, inducing a cyber-ecstasy trip.

Ford uses Colin's cheerfulness to break into the Guide's corporate accounting software in order to a Trojan Horse module that will automatically pay anything billed to his InfiniDim Enterprises credit card. Colin also saves Ford's life when the Guide's new security force, the Vogons fire at him with a rocket launcher after Ford feels the need to jump out of the window. Colin was last seen being sent (at the risk of possible lonely incineration) to look after the delivery of the Guide Mark II to Arthur Dent in the Vogon's postal system.

Colin was named after a dog belonging to a girl Ford had "fond memories" of: Emily Saunders. Colin Appears in Mostly Harmless and in the radio series he was played by Andrew Secombe.

[edit] Dr. Dan Streetmentioner

Author of Time Traveller's Handbook of 1001 Tense Formations which is handy for those travelling through time, and especially to Milliways. His guide is more complete than The Guide itself, which ignores the time travel tense topic – other than pointing out that the term 'future perfect' has been abandoned since it was discovered not to be. He is also mentioned in the third radio series, which gives many examples of his tense forms.

[edit] Deep Thought

Deep Thought is a computer that was created by a pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent race of beings to come up with the ultimate answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything. When, after seven and a half million years of calculation, the answer finally turns out to be 42, Deep Thought's creators sheepishly realize that they do not know the question from whence the ultimate answer turned out to be.

Deep Thought itself does not know the ultimate question to Life, the Universe and Everything, but offers to design an even more powerful computer (Earth; see Earth in fiction) to calculate it. After ten million years of calculation, the Earth is destroyed by Vogons five minutes before the computation is complete.

Appears in:

• The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

On radio, Deep Thought was voiced by Geoffrey McGivern. On television and in the LP re-recording of the radio series, he was voiced by Valentine Dyall. In the feature film Deep Thought's voice was provided by actress Helen Mirren.

In the television series, Deep Thought was shaped like a massive, black, and metal trapezoid with a yellow rectangular display that blinked on and off in time with the computer's speaking. The timing of the light's flashing was done on set by author Douglas Adams. Valentine Dyall's voice was dubbed in later.

In the feature film, it appears as a large, vaguely humanoid computer (see picture), with a gigantic head supported, as if in a bored repose, by two arms. This particular version of Deep Thought likes to watch television and late in the film can also be seen to have the Apple Computer logo above its eye. This is a reference to Adams being a fan and advocate of the Apple Macintosh until his death.

IBM's chess-playing computer Deep Thought was named in honour of this fictional computer.

The technology-related website Deep Thought[2] was named after this fictional computer.

Regarding the naming of this character, all Douglas Adams was ever quoted as saying (in Neil Gaiman's book Don't Panic: The Official Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Companion) was that "The name is a very obvious joke."

[edit] Disaster Area's chief research accountant

As Disaster Area's earnings require hypermathematics, their chief research accountant was named Professor of Neomathematics at the University of Maximegalon and in his Special Theories of Tax Returns he proves that space-time is "not merely curved, it is, in fact, totally bent."

Referred to in:

• Restaurant at the End of the Universe
• LP recording by the same title
• TV episode 5

[edit] Dish of the Day

The quadruped Dish of the Day is an Ameglian Major Cow, a Ruminant specifically bred to not only have the desire to be eaten, but to be capable of saying so quite clearly and distinctly. When asked if he would like to see the Dish of the Day, Zaphod replies: "let's meet the meat." The Major Cow's quite vocal and emphatic desire to be consumed by Milliways' patrons greatly distresses Arthur Dent, and the Dish is nonplussed by a queasy Arthur's subsequent order of a green salad, since he knows "many vegetables that are very clear" on the point of not wanting to be eaten — which was part of the reason for the creation of the Ameglian Major Cow in the first place. After Zaphod orders four rare steaks, the Dish announces that he is nipping off to the kitchen to shoot himself. Though he states, "I'll be very humane," this does not comfort Arthur at all.

Appears in:

• The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

The character is not present in the original radio series, but does make a cameo appearance in the finale of the fifth radio series. The first appearance of him was in a stage adaptation in 1980 at the Rainbow Theatre. Since then he appeared in the second novel, and the television series. In the TV series, he was played by Peter Davison, who was at that time both Sandra Dickinson's husband and the newly announced fifth Doctor Who. Dickinson played Trillian in the television series (and "Tricia McMillan" in the final radio series), and suggested casting Davison, who was a fan of the radio series.

[edit] East River Creature

As Ford Prefect travels through space in a Sirius Cybernetics Corporation spaceship, he has a dream in which he encounters a strange creature made of slime from the East River in New York who has just come into existence. After asking Ford a series of question about life, and Ford's recommendation of finding love on 7th Avenue, the creature leaves Ford to talk to a nearby policemen on his status in life.

Appearances:

• So Long and Thanks for All the Fish
• Fit the Twenty-First

In Fit the Twenty-First, the East River character was played by Jackie Mason

[edit] Eccentrica Gallumbits

Known as "The Triple-Breasted Whore of Eroticon Six", Eccentrica Gallumbits is first mentioned in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy when Arthur looks up Earth for the first time in the guide. The entry for Earth is under that of Eccentrica Gallumbits. She is heard about again during a newscast that Zaphod Beeblebrox tunes into shortly after stealing the spaceship Heart of Gold. The newsreader quotes Eccentrica describing Zaphod as "The best bang since the Big One." It was also reported in Fit the Ninth of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy radio series that Zaphod had delivered a presidential address from her bedroom on at least one occasion.

Pears Gallumbit, a dessert which has several things in common with her, is available at The Restaurant at the End of the Universe.

Some people say her erogenous zones start some four miles from her actual body. Ford Prefect disagrees, saying five.

This character never actually appears in the series, but is mentioned by various characters in all five of the books.

In a possible homage to the series, the film Total Recall features a triple-breasted prostitute (played by Lycia Naff); it also features a number of other references to the Guide, such as wrapping a towel around one's head to avoid being found (synonymous with the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal). The name of the collection Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia: The Tales of Shamlicht may have been partially inspired by the character, as it contains references to Douglas Adams and the series.

She is referenced in an issue of the Legion of Super Heroes.

[edit] Eddie

Eddie is the name of the shipboard computer on the starship Heart of Gold. Like every other system on the spaceship, it has a Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Genuine People Personality. Thus, Eddie is over-excitable, quite talkative, over-enthused and extremely ingratiating, or alternatively a coddling, school matron-type after a particularly morose conversation with Marvin the paranoid android. Shipboard networking interconnects Eddie with everything from the air conditioning upwards on the Heart of Gold, with the downside the whole ship is effectively crippled by Arthur Dent's request for tea from Nutrimatic Drink Dispenser, the computation of which nearly crashed Eddie and everything connected to him.

On some occasions when certain destruction seems quite imminent, Eddie will sing "You'll Never Walk Alone" in a particularly cheesy and upbeat tone.

Appears in:

• The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
• The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
• Life, the Universe and Everything
• The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (computer game)

He is voiced in the first two radio series and on television by David Tate. In the television version, Eddie has lights on his case that flash when he speaks. Douglas Adams read in Eddie's lines during filming to operate the lights.

In the 2004-2005 radio series, he is voiced by Roger Gregg and in the 2005 feature film by Thomas Lennon.

[edit] Effrafax of Wug

A sciento-magician who bet his life that he could make an entire mountain invisible within a year. Having wasted most of the period of time failing to create a cloaking device, he hired a company to simply remove the mountain, though this course of action lost him the bet, and his life, due in part to the sudden and rather suspicious presence of an extra moon. It is remarked that he should have simply established a simple Somebody Else's Problem field, thus making the mountain totally invisible, by simply painting it bright pink.

Referenced in: Life, the Universe and Everything.

[edit] Elders of Krikkit

The Elders of Krikkit were, in Life, the Universe and Everything, under influence of the remains of the supercomputer Hactar, which aeons previously had been blown to dust, but retained a measure of consciousness, and determined to destroy the entire universe using the supernova bomb they had built. Trillian used her feminine charm and smart rhetoric in an attempt to dissuade the elders, but failed to stop them deploying the ultimate weapon, which simply dented the council chamber, very badly.

[edit] Elvis Presley

Elvis Presley is a real-life singer, who died in 1977. It has been popularly suggested that he has been abducted by aliens, or that he is actually an alien who faked his own death so he could return to his home planet.

In the book Mostly Harmless, Elvis is discovered by Ford Prefect and Arthur Dent working as a bar singer on an alien planet, and owning a large pink spaceship. Ford, having become huge fan of Elvis while he was stranded on Earth, watched the performance intently for its entire duration, despite his and Arthur's pressing need to leave Lamuella. Presley is not actually named, however his identity is easy to determine from the facts that the bar is called "The Domain of The King," the "EP" initials in the pink spaceship which Ford and Arthur buy from him, and the songs he sings in the bar.

Ford's irreplacable blue suede shoes, one of which is destroyed during the events in the early part of Mostly Harmless are a tribute to his Elvis fandom.

In the radio adaptation of Mostly Harmless, The Quintessential Phase, it has been indicated that in the alternate Earth which is the focus of the story, Elvis never died, and there is mention of an album "Elvis sings Oasis". He appears (but is not directly named) in Fit the Twenty-Sixth, voiced by Philip Pope.

[edit] Emperor of the Galaxy

The final Emperor of the Galactic Empire in the Hitchhiker's universe was placed into a stasis field within his dying moments many millennia prior to the events of the series. This left the Empire without a ruling Emperor, as the last of the Emperor's heirs all died. And so an Imperial President, elected by the Galactic Assembly, was later seen to hold power, without actually wielding any. This was the office held by Yooden Vranx and Zaphod Beeblebrox.

Referenced in:

• Fit the Ninth
• The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

[edit] Eric Bartlett

In the final novel, it is gardener Eric Bartlett who discovers that space-aliens have landed on Tricia's lawn and hasn't cut her grass.

[edit] Fenchurch

Fenchurch is Arthur Dent's soulmate in the fourth book of the Hitchhiker "trilogy", So Long, and Thanks For All the Fish. Fenchurch was named after the Fenchurch Street railway station where she was conceived in the ticket queue. Adams revealed in an interview that it was really the ticket queues at Paddington Station that made him think of conceiving a character there, but chose Fenchurch as a name because of Paddington Bear.^[1]

She first appears as the unnamed girl in the café on the first page of the first book; she is the girl referred to as "sitting on her own in a café in Rickmansworth." In the fourth book, when the Earth and everyone including Fenchurch had mysteriously reappeared, a romantic relationship blooms between her and Arthur Dent. He teaches her to fly, before a first aerial sexual encounter, and a second with Sony Walkmen.

At the beginning of the fifth book, she vanishes abruptly during a hyperspace jump on their first intergalactic holiday. Douglas Adams later claimed that he wanted to get rid of the character as she was getting in the way of the story. Much of this is evident from the self-referential prose surrounding Arthur and Fenchurch's relationship.

In the Quintessential Phase of the radio series, she is revealed to have been working as a waitress at Milliways since she vanished, and is reunited with Arthur Dent.

In the radio adaptation of So Long and Thanks For All the Fish Fenchurch is played by actress Jane Horrocks.

Appears in:

• The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (unnamed cameo)
• So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish
• Mostly Harmless (only mentioned in passing)

[edit] Frankie and Benjy mouse

Frankie and Benjy are the mice that Arthur (et al.) encounter on Magrathea. Frankie and Benjy wish to extract the final readout data from Arthur's brain to get the Ultimate Question to Life, the Universe, and Everything. Frankie and Benjy are, after all, part of the pan-dimensional race that created the Earth as a supercomputer successor to Deep Thought in order to find out the question to which the answer was 42.

In the first version, the radio series, they offered Arthur and Trillian a large amount of money if they could tell them what the Question is. In later versions this was changed - unfortunately for Arthur, they claim the only way to do this is to remove his brain and prepare it, apparently by dicing it. They promise to replace it with a simple computer brain, which, suggested Zaphod, would only have to say things like "What?", "I don't understand" and "Where's the tea?". Arthur objects to this ("What?", he says. "See!" says Zaphod), and escapes with the help of his friends. Frankie says:

I mean, yes idealism, yes the dignity of pure research, yes, the pursuit of truth in all its forms, but there comes a point I'm afriad where you begin to suspect that if there's any real truth it's that the entire multi-dimensional infinity of the Universe is almost certainly being run by a bunch of maniacs; and if it comes to a choice between spending another ten million years finding that out and on the other hand just taking the money and running, I for one could do with the exercise^[2]

In the movie, they are in fact the manifestations of Lunkwill and Fook, the pan-dimensional beings who designed and built Deep Thought, and were squashed flat by Arthur Dent when they attempted to remove his brain.

Appear in:

• The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

On radio, David Tate played Benjy Mouse and Peter Hawkins voiced Frankie Mouse. They appeared in Fit the Fourth. They also appeared in Episode Four of the TV series, where they were voiced by David Tate and Stephen Moore.

[edit] Frogstar Prisoner Relations Officer

In Fit the Eighth the Frogstar Prisoner Relations Officer (referred to in the scripts as the "FPRO") does his best to annoy Zaphod by hosing him down, letting him think that he escaped to an Ursa Minor robot disco by body debit card, asking him for an autograph and teleporting away whilst Zaphod helps him with his respiratory problem - that he is breathing.

[edit] Gag Halfrunt

In the series, Gag Halfrunt is the private brain care specialist of Zaphod Beeblebrox, and is not a major character in terms of the amount of dialogue or prominence he gets. However, he is major in the sense that he has a key influence on the plot (at least in the radio series version of HHGG). This may be in part because large parts of the series were made up by Adams as he went along, and some of the plot developments and explanations were more a way to tie up some of the glaring loose ends than part of a predetermined master plan.

In the story, the Earth is really a giant computer built to determine the Ultimate Question to Life, the Universe and Everything. Gag Halfrunt (as leader of a group of psychiatrists) is in cahoots with the Vogons to destroy the Earth to prevent the Ultimate Question from ever being discovered. The reason behind this plot is that the psychiatrists cannot afford to have the Ultimate Question revealed, because this would put them out of a job (on the premise that if the Question becomes known, everyone would suddenly start leading happy and productive lives, rendering the entire profession of psychiatry unnecessary). Later the Vogons also try (under Gag's direction) to destroy the starship Heart of Gold, because it is carrying Arthur Dent, who may have the Question buried in his brain somewhere. All of this is unknown to Zaphod because he has brainwashed himself to forget about the collusion (though again this seems to be more of a device to explain why it only becomes clear towards the end of the second series and hasn't been mentioned before). In the end Zaphod "remembers" and does, in fact, find The Ruler of the Universe.

Gag Halfrunt was used since his first appearance in Fit the Second as a running joke; he would remark, in an oddly German accent (possibly in reference to the Austrian psychiatrist Sigmund Freud), whenever asked about Zaphod "Vell, Zaphod's just zis guy, you know?" This line has become a popular catchphrase among fans of the series.

Appears in:

• The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
• The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

On radio, he was voiced by Stephen Moore, and appears in Fits the Second, Seventh and Ninth.

On television, he was played by Gil Morris and in the film he is played by Jason Schwartzman. In both these versions he only appears briefly, being interviewed about Zaphod Beeblebrox, and the plot involving the ruler of the Universe does not appear.

[edit] Gail Andrews

In Mostly Harmless, Gail Andrews is an astrologer who is interviewed by Tricia McMillan about the impact that the discovery of the planet Persephone, or Rupert will have on astrology. She is an advisor to the President of the United States, President Hudson, but denies having recommended the bombing of Damascus.

In the radio series, she appears in Fit the Twenty-Third, and is voiced by Lorelei King.

[edit] Gargravarr

Gargravarr, the disembodied mind and custodian of the Total Perspective Vortex suffers from real-life dualism and is therefore having trial separation with his body, which has taken his forename Pizpot. The dispute arose over whether sex is better than fishing or not, a disastrous attempt at combining the two activities, and his body going out partying too late.

Since he has no physical form that can be seen, he leads those condemned to the Total Perspective Vortex by humming various morose tunes so that the condemned can follow the sound of his voice.

Appears in:

• The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

Gargravarr was voiced on radio by Valentine Dyall - he appears in Fit the Eighth.

[edit] Garkbit

Garkbit is the Head Waiter at Milliways, the impossible "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe". He is professionally unfazed by Arthur, Ford, Zaphod, and Trillian's unruly arrival, and has a fine sales-patter and very dry sense of humour.

Appears in:

• The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

In the radio series Garkbit is played by Anthony Sharp, and appears in Fit the Fifth. In the television series, he is portrayed by Jack May and appears in Episode Five.

[edit] Genghis Temüjin Khan

Son of Yesügei, Ghengis is both a distant ancestor of Mr Prosser and was called "a wanker, a tosspot, a very tiny piece of turd" by Wowbagger, the Infinitely Prolonged in "The Private Life of Genghis Khan", originally based on a sketch written by Adams and Graham Chapman. The short story also appears in some editions of The Salmon of Doubt.^[3].

[edit] Great Green Arkleseizure

To those on people of Viltvodle VI, the creator of the universe. The Jatravartid's God appear in the second novel, the TV series, and the movie.

[edit] God

Aside from being the favourite subject of author Oolon Colluphid ("Where God Went Wrong", "Some More of God's Greatest Mistakes", "Who is this God Person Anyway" and "That About Wraps it Up for God"), God also makes a disappearance in the Guide's entry for the Babel Fish ("I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing". "But," says man "The Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED.").

Majikthise worries about philosophers sitting up half the night arguing that there may or may not be a God if Deep Thought can give His phone number the next morning. Arthur, Fenchurch and Marvin visit God's Final Message to His Creation ("we apologise for the inconvenience") in So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish.

Four other characters have the status of a god: Almighty Bob, the Great Green Arkleseizure, Thor and Rob McKenna.

[edit] Gogrilla Mincefriend

An enterprising chap who addressed the problem of elevators refusing to operate because they had been afforded a degree of prescience (to facilitate their operation by allowing them to be waiting for you before you've even decided you want to go up or down a floor) but consequently become terrified of the future, and so taken to hiding in basements. Mincefriend became very wealthy when he patented and successfully marketed a device he had seen in a history book: the staircase.

[edit] Golgafrinchans

The Golgafrinchans first appear in Fit the Sixth of the radio series. In the novel series, their appearances are all in The Restaurant at the End of the Universe and in the television show, they appear in Episode Six. In all formats, the story is essentially the same. Following their adventures at Milliways, Arthur and Ford teleport onto an "Ark Ship" containing a number of Golgafrinchans. This particular group consists of "middle men" who have common, middle-management types of occupations. They were sent away from their planet under false pretenses by the "thinkers" and "doers" of their society, who deemed them useless. They were told that the entire society had to move to a new planet, with a variety of thin excuses, and that it was necessary for them to go first to prepare the new planet for their occupation. However, it turns out that one of the middle-men was necessary for survival, and as a result, the rest of the Golgafrinchan society died off (see below).

[edit] Agda and Mella

Agda and Mella are Golgafrinchan girls that Arthur and Ford hit on. On Golgafrincham, Agda used to be a junior personnel officer and Mella an art director. Agda is taller and slimmer and Mella shorter and round-faced. Mella and Arthur became a couple, as did Agda and Ford. In a way Mella was very relieved because she had been saved from a life of looking at moodily lit tubes of toothpaste. Agda died a few weeks later from a chain of events that Ford unknowingly started by throwing the Scrabble letter Q into a privet bush: it startled a rabbit, which ran away and was eaten by a fox, who choked on the rabbit and died, contaminating a stream that Agda drank from and became sick - it is said that the only moral one could possibly learn from these occurrences is not to throw the letter Q into a privet bush. Agda and Mella only appear in the novel.

[edit] Captain

The Captain is the captain of the Golgafrinchan Ark Fleet Ship B. He likes to bathe with his rubber duck (he spent practically the entire time he was captain of the B Ark and as much of his time on Earth, a total time of over three years, as has been documented in the bath) and has got a very relaxed attitude towards everything. The Captain also has a fondness for "jynnan tonnyx," which is one of a nearly infinite version of the alcoholic drink gin and tonic, which, according to the story, every civilised culture in the universe has developed independently, though the drink's name is always a variation on Earth's gin and tonic. His personality was based on Douglas Adams' habit of taking extraordinarily long baths as a method of procrastination to avoid writing.

He was voiced by David Jason in the radio series and by Frank Middlemass in the LP album adaptation. On television, it was Aubrey Morris.

[edit] Great Circling Poets of Arium

These rock throwing poets can be seen in the Guide graphics in the TV series, heard about in the Primary Phase and read about in the second novel. They are original inhabitants of Golgafrincham, one of whose descendants inspire the stories that caused the creation of the "'B' Ark" that Arthur and Ford find themselves on. The first part of their songs tell of how five princes with four horses from the City of Vassilian travel widely in distant lands, and the latter - and longer - part of the songs are about which of them is going to walk back.

[edit] Hairdresser

One of the Golgafrinchans on the prehistoric Earth, the hairdresser was put in charge of the fire development sub-committee. They gave him a couple of sticks to rub together, but instead, he made them into a pair of scissors in the radio series, or curling tongs in the television and book series.

He was played by Aubrey Woods in the radio series, by Stephen Grief in the LP album adaptation, and by David Rowlands on television.

[edit] Management consultant

The Golgafrinchans' management consultant tried to arrange the meetings of the colonization committee along the lines of a traditional committee structure, complete with a chair and an agenda. He was also in charge of fiscal policy, and decided to adopt the leaf as legal tender, making everyone immensely rich. In order to solve the inflation problem this caused, he planned a major deforestation campaign to effectively revalue the leaf by burning down all the forests.

He was played by Jonathan Cecil in the radio series, by David Tate in the LP album adaptation, and by Jon Glover on television.

[edit] Marketing girl

Another Golgafrinchan on prehistoric Earth, the marketing girl assisted the hairdresser's fire development sub-committee in researching what consumers want from fire and how they relate to it and if they want it fitted nasally. She also tried to invent the wheel, but had a little difficulty deciding what colour it should be.

She was played by Beth Porter both in the radio series and on television and by Loueen Willoughby in the LP album adaptation.

[edit] Number One

Number One is the First officer in the Golgafrinchan Ark Fleet Ship B. He is not very smart, having difficulty tying up his shoelaces, but is regarded by the captain as a nice chap. His only function to appear in the series is to offer Ford and Arthur drinks.

He was voiced by Jonathan Cecil in the radio series and by David Tate in the LP album adaptation. On television, the character was renamed Number Three and played by Geoffrey Beevers.

[edit] Number Two

Number Two is a militaristic officer in the Golgafrinchan Ark Fleet Ship B. He captures Arthur and Ford and interrogates them. When they land on Earth, Number Two declares a war on another, uninhabited continent. He likes shouting a lot, and thinks the Captain is an idiot.

He is played by Aubrey Woods in the radio series and by Stephen Grief in the LP album adaptation. On television, the character was divided into two different characters: Number Two played by David Neville on the planet Earth, and Number One played by Matthew Scurfield on the B Ark.

[edit] Telephone Sanitizer

The telephone sanitizer is involved in the plot thread relating to the planet Golgafrincham in The Restaurant at the End of the Universe. Ironically, after all the telephone sanitizers were sent away with the rest of the "useless" Golgafrinchans, the rest of the society died off from an infectious disease contracted from an unsanitized telephone.

[edit] Grunthos the Flatulent

Grunthos the Flatulent was the poetmaster of the Azgoths of Kria, writers of the second worst poetry in the universe, just between Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings and the Vogons.

The guide recites a tale of how, during a reading of his poem Ode To A Small Lump Of Green Putty I Found In My Armpit One Midsummer Morning, "four of the audience died of internal hemorrhaging and the president of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived only by gnawing one of his own legs off."

Reportedly "disappointed" by the reception of his poem, Grunthos then prepared to read his 12-book epic, My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles (or Zen And The Art Of Going To The Lavatory in the TV series). He was prevented from doing so when his small intestine leapt up his neck and throttled his brain in a desperate bid to save lifekind, killing him.

Excerpt from "Ode To A Small Lump Of Green Putty I Found In My Armpit One Midsummer Morning", taken from the TV series graphics:

Putty. Putty. Putty.

Green Putty - Grutty Peen.

Grarmpitutty - Morning!

Pridsummer - Grorning Utty!

Discovery..... Oh.

Putty?..... Armpit?

Armpit..... Putty.

Not even a particularly

Nice shade of green.

Excerpt from "Zen And The Art Of Going To The Lavatory", also taken from the TV series

Relax mind

Relax body

Relax bowels

Relax.

Do not fall over.

You are a cloud.

You are raining.

Do not rain

While train

Is standing at a station.

Move with the wind.

Apologise where necessary.

Appears in:

• The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

[edit] Hactar

Flexible and imaginative, Hactar was the first computer in which its individual components reflected the pattern of the whole, much like DNA in a biological organism. (See Jupiter Brain.) Hactar is made by the Silastic Armourfiends, who ask for an "Ultimate Weapon". Hactar, taking the request literally, builds a supernova bomb which would connect every major sun in the universe through hyperspace, thus making every star to go supernova. Deciding that he could find no circumstance where such a bomb would be justified, Hactar builds a small defect into it. After discovering the defect, the Armourfiends pulverize Hactar.

Over æons Hactar moves and recombines to become a dark cloud surrounding Krikkit, isolating the inhabitants. Deciding that the decision not to destroy the universe was not his to make, he uses his influence to make them build their first space ship and discover the universe; he then manipulates them into the same rage which the Armourfiends possessed, urging that they destroy all other life.

After an incredibly long and bloody galactic war, Judiciary Pag banishes Krikkit to an envelope of "Slo-Time" to be released after the rest of the universe ends. At the end of Life, the Universe, and Everything, after his scheme fails, Hactar slips the cricket-ball-shaped supernova bomb to Arthur Dent, who then accidentally saves the Universe again by being an abysmal bowler.

Appears in:

• Life, the Universe, and Everything

He is played on radio first by Geoffrey McGivern, in a flashback for which McGivern is not credited during Fit the Seventeenth. He is then voiced by Leslie Phillips, appearing again in Fit the Eighteenth.

[edit] Haggunenon Underfleet Commander

The Underfleet Commander reports directly to the Haggunenon Admiral. The admiral had gone off for a quick meal at Milliways, where Ford and Zaphod attempted to steal his/her/its/their flagship. But as it had a pre-set return course, it resumed its place at the front of a hundred thousand horribly weaponed black battle cruisers. Because the Haggunenons have very unstable DNA and change their shape/appearance at random and often inconvient times, the Underfleet Commander mistakenly assumes that Zaphod and Trillian are, in fact, the admiral.

The Underfleet Commander only appears in Fit the Sixth, voiced by Aubrey Woods. The Haggunenons were written out of subsequent versions, as they were originally co-written with John Lloyd, although they did appear in some stage adaptations.

Haggunenons are greatly inconvenienced by their genetic instability and so have vowed to wage terrible war against all "filthy rotten stinking same-lings"

This creature was later copied by Red Dwarf.

[edit] Happy Vertical People Transporters

The lifts in the fictional Hitchhiker's Guide offices are called Happy Vertical People Transporters. Another "product" of Adams's fictional Sirius Cybernetics Corporation, they are meant to be sentient enough to argue with and have "defocused temporal perception." The latter concept is meant to enable the lifts to see far enough into the future to arrive at a floor before a potential passenger realizes they wanted a lift, and thus remove any chatting, relaxing, and making friends people had to do whilst waiting for old-fashioned lifts.

The one lift with a voice appears in Fit the Seventh, voiced by David Tate. The lifts make a cameo appearance of sorts in The Quintessential Phase.

[edit] Hig Hurtenflurst

Hig Hurtenflurst "only happens to be" the risingest young executive in the Dolmansaxlil Shoe Corporation. During Fit the Eleventh, he is on Brontitall. What he is doing there is something of a mystery, as the Shoe Event Horizon was reached long ago and the survivors of the famine have long since evolved into bird people and set up home inside a thirteen-mile high statue of Arthur Dent. His foot-warriors capture Arthur Dent and three Lintilla clones, who are threatened by Hurtenflurst to be "revoked. K-I-L-L-E-D, revoked". He then proceeds to show them a film about the activities of the Dolmansaxlil Shoe Corporation, which is interrupted by Marvin, who has cut the power in order to rescue Arthur and the Lintillas.

He appeared in Fit the Eleventh of the original radio series, and was played by Marc Smith. He has not appeared in any versions after this.

[edit] Hotblack Desiato

Hotblack Desiato is the ajuitar keyboard player of the rock group Disaster Area, claimed to be the loudest band in the universe, and in fact the loudest sound of any kind, anywhere. So loud is this band that the audience usually listens from the safe distance of thirty seven miles away in a well-built concrete bunker. Disaster Area's lavish performances went so far as to crash a space ship into the sun to create a solar flare. Pink Floyd's lavish stage shows were the inspiration for Disaster Area. (Incidentally, Douglas Adams was credited for coming up with the title of Pink Floyd's 1994 album The Division Bell.) At the time when the main characters meet him, in The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, Hotblack is spending a year dead "for tax reasons", though he is still psychically alive.

The character is named after an estate agency based in Islington, with branches throughout North London; Adams said he was struggling to find a name for the character and, spotting a Hotblack Desiato sign, liked the name so much he "nearly crashed the car" and eventually telephoned to ask permission to use the firm's name for a character. Apparently, the firm's staff later received phone calls telling them they had a nerve naming their company after Adams' character.

The Disaster Area sub-plot was first heard in the LP album adaptations and later in The Restaurant at the End of the Universe. It replaces the Haggunenon material from the Fit the Sixth in the radio series. The character appears in episode five, and his ship in episode six of the TV series. He does not have any lines, and is played by Barry Frank Warren.

[edit] Humma Kavula

Humma Kavula is a semi-insane missionary living amongst the Jatravartid people of Viltvodle VI, and a former space pirate. (It was presumably during his time as a pirate that he lost his legs and had them replaced with telescoping mechanical spider appendages). He wears thick glasses, which make his eyes appear normal when worn; however, when he removes the glasses, he appears to have shrunken black pits where his eyes should be. He seems to be a religious leader on that planet, preaching about the Coming of the Great White Handkerchief. (See Jatravartids).

He also ran against Zaphod Beeblebrox in the campaign for President of the Galaxy with the campaign slogan "Don't Vote For Stupid," but lost, and has remained bitter about it ever since. In the film he is seeking the point-of-view gun to further his religion's acceptance, and he takes one of Zaphod's heads as hostage to ensure his help.

The character was created by Adams exclusively for the 2005 movie. Quoting Robbie Stamp: "All the substantive new ideas in the movie, Humma, the Point of View Gun and the "paddle slapping sequence" on Vogsphere are brand new Douglas ideas written especially for the movie by him." [3] Appears in:

• The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy movie, played by John Malkovich.

[edit] Hurling Frootmig

Hurling Frootmig is said to be the founder of the Hitchhiker's Guide, who established its fundamental principles of honesty and idealism, and went bust. Later, after much soul-searching, he re-established the Guide with its principles of honesty and idealism and where you could stuff them, and went on to lead the Guide to its first major commercial success.

He is mentioned in Life, the Universe and Everything. He did not make the Tertiary Phase of the radio series, but was mentioned in Fit the Twenty-Fourth of the Quintessential Phase.

[edit] Ix

Ix is the childhood nickname of Ford Prefect, since his name in the native language of his father, who was from Betelgeuse 7, was unpronouncable in the language of his adopted home planet, Betelgeuse 5. See the Ford Prefect article for further details.

[edit] Judiciary Pag

His High Judgmental Supremacy, Judiciary Pag, L.I.V.R. (the Learned, Impartial, and Very Relaxed) was the Chairman of the Board of Judges at the Krikkit War Crimes Trial. He privately called himself Zipo Bibrok 5x10⁸ (which is half-a-billion).

It was Judiciary Pag's idea that the people of Krikkit be permanently sealed in a Slo-Time envelope, and the seal could only be broken by bringing a special Key to the Lock. When the rest of the universe had ended, the seal would be broken and Krikkit could continue a solitary existence in the universe. This judgement seemed to please everybody except the people of Krikkit themselves, but the only alternative was to face annihilation.

Pag's real name shares some similarities with that of Zaphod Beeblebrox, suggesting that he may be a distant ancestor (and therefore descendant) of Zaphod.

Appears in:

• Life, the Universe, and Everything

He is played on radio by Rupert Degas, and appears in Fit the Fifteenth.

[edit] Karl Mueller

Karl Mueller operates a nightclub, Club Alpha, in New York City. He is German with a Greek mother, and was handed the running of the club by his brother Stavro Mueller, who renamed Club Alpha with his own name. He appears in Mostly Harmless, in the storyline regarding the final death of Agrajag.

[edit] Krikkiters

Ford, Arthur, Trillian and Slartibartfast meet a group of murderous Krikkiters on the surface of their planet. Away from the influence of Hactar, they are troubled by their Elders wanting to destroy the Universe as they are keen to have sporting links with the rest of the Galaxy. They appear in Life, The Universe and Everything and the Tertiary Phase of the radio series.

[edit] Mrs Enid Kapelsen

An old woman from Boston who rediscovers purpose in life by seeing Arthur and Fenchurch flying (and performing other activities) outside the aeroplane within which she is flying to Heathrow. Witnessing this, she became enlightened, and realized that everything she had ever been taught was varyingly incorrect. She annoys the flight attendants by continually pressing her call button for reasons such as "the child in front was making milk come out of his nose." Later she ends up seated next to Arthur and Fenchurch on another aeroplane en route from Los Angeles to London (though in the radio series adaptation, she flies with Arthur and Fenchurch on a flight from London to Los Angeles).

Appears in:

• So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

She was played by Margaret Robertson in Fit the Twenty-First during the Quandary Phase.

[edit] Know-Nothing Bozo the Non-Wonder Dog

A dog belonging to advertiser Will Smithers which was so stupid that it was incapable of eating the right dog food on camera, even when engine oil was poured on the wrong food. It was so named because its hair stuck upright on its head in a way that resembled Ronald Reagan (The dog also had an adverse reaction whenever someone said the word "commies"). Bozo barked at Arthur whilst he considered entering the Horse and Groom pub on his return to earth in So Long and Thanks for all the Fish.

[edit] Kwaltz

Kwaltz is one of the Vogons on Vogsphere, directing Jeltz's Vogon Constructor Fleet during the demolition of Earth and enforcing the galaxy's bureaucracy.

Appears in:

• The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy movie, voiced by Ian McNeice.

[edit] Lady Cynthia Fitzmelton

Lady Cynthia Fitzmelton is described in the original radio script as "a sort of Margaret Thatcher, Penelope Keith character." She is responsible for christening the "very splendid and worthwhile yellow bulldozer" which knocks down Arthur Dent's house in "cruddy Cottington", and it gives her "great pleasure" to make a "very splendid and worthwhile" speech immediately beforehand.

She only appears in Fit the First of the radio series, where she was voiced by Jo Kendall. Her "very splendid and worthwhile" lines were entirely dropped from later versions.

[edit] Lajestic Vantrashell of Lob

Lajestic Vantrashell of Lob is a small man with a strange hat who guards God's Final Message to His Creation, and who sells Arthur and Fenchurch a ticket to it before passing them on a scooter and imploring them to "keep to the left". Introduced by Prak in the epilogue to Life, the Universe and Everything, he finally appears towards the end of So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish when we also realize that he has been a regular visitor to Wonko The Sane, who describes angels with golden beards and green wings, Dr Scholl sandals, who eat nachos and do a lot of coke. He says that he runs a concession stand by the message and when Wonko says "I don't know what that means" he says "no, you don't".

[edit] Lallafa

Lallafa was an ancient poet who lived in the forests of the Long Lands of Effa. His home inspired him to write a poetic opus known as The Songs of the Long Land on pages made of dried habra leaves. His poems were discovered years after Lallafa's death, and news of them quickly spread. For centuries, the poems gave inspiration and illumination to many who would otherwise be much more unhappy, and for this they are usually considered around the Galaxy to be the greatest poetic works in existence. This is remarkable because Lallafa wrote his poems without the aid of education or correction fluid.

The latter fact attracted the attention of some correction fluid manufacturers from the Mancunian nebula. The manufacturers worked out that if they could get Lallafa to use their fluids in a variety of leafy colours in the course of his work, their companies would be as successful as the poems themselves. And so, they traveled back in time and beat Lallafa until he went along with their plan. The plan succeeded, Lallafa became extremely rich, and spent so much time on chat shows that he never got around to actually writing The Songs. This was solved by each week, in the past, giving Lallafa a copy of his poems, from the present, and having him write his poems again for the first time. But on the condition that he make the odd mistake and use the correction fluid.

Some argued the poems were now worthless, and set out to stop this sort of thing with the Campaign for Real Time (a play on Campaign for Real Ale), or CamTim, to keep the flow of history untampered by time travel. Slartibartfast is a member of CamTim.

Lallafa appears in Life, the Universe and Everything and Fit the Fifteenth of The Tertiary Phase.

[edit] Lazlar Lyricon

A customizer of starships to the rich and famous time travellers, from the second novel and the TV Series.

[edit] Lig Lury, Jr

The fourth editor of the Guide, who never actually resigned from his job. He simply left one morning for lunch and never returned to his office, making all later holders of the position "Acting Editors." His old office is still preserved by the Guide employees in the hope that he will return. His desk sports a sign that reads "Missing, presumed fed." The third novel, Life The Universe and Everything, relates his visit to the Holy Lunching Friars of Voondon.

[edit] Lintilla

Lintilla is a rather unfortunate woman who has (as of Fit the Eleventh) been cloned 578,000,000,000 times due to an accident at a Brantisvogan escort agency. While creating six clones of a wonderfully talented and attractive woman named Lintilla (at the same time another machine was creating five hundred lonely business executives, in order to keep the laws of supply and demand operating profitably), the machine got stuck in a loop and malfunctioned in such a way that it got halfway through completing each new Lintilla before it had finished the previous one. This meant that it was for a very long while impossible to turn the machine off without committing murder, despite lawyers' best efforts to argue about what murder actually was, including trying to redefine it, repronounce it, and respelling it in the hope that no-one would notice.

Arthur Dent encounters three of her on the planet of Brontitall, and takes a liking to (at least) one of them. He kills one of three male anti-clones, all called Allitnil (Lintilla backwards), sent by the cloning company to get her to "agree to cease to be" (although the other two of her "consummate" this legal agreement with their respective anti-clones). When Arthur leaves Zaphod, Ford, and Zarniwoop stranded with the Ruler of the Universe and his cat (at the conclusion of the second radio series), he takes one of the Lintillas with him aboard the Heart of Gold.

All Lintillas were played by the same actress: Rula Lenska. Lintilla (and her clones) appeared only in the final three episodes of the original radio series. Rula Lenska did return to the fourth and fifth radio series - she was first an uncredited "Update Voice" for the Hitchhiker's Guide itself and then played the Voice of the Bird (the new version of the Guide introduced in Mostly Harmless). Zaphod noted in the new series that the new book has the same voice as "those Lintilla chicks." The footnotes of the published scripts make the connection, confirming that the bird is actually an amalgam of the Lintilla clones, the solution alluded to in the second series. Lintilla and her clones do make a re-appearance of sorts on the Heart of Gold in an alternate ending to the final episode (which can only be heard on CD).

The name Lintilla was reused for an adult-oriented multiple worlds talker, Lintilla, that opened in 1994.

[edit] Loonquawl

In the original novel, Loonquawl is one of the two people who return to Deep Thought to find the answer to the Ultimate question. The other is Phouchg.

[edit] Lord, The

The Lord is a cat, owned by the Ruler of the Universe. He might like fish and might like people singing songs to him, as the Ruler of the Universe isn't certain if people come to talk to him, or sing songs to his cat.

Appears in:

• The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

[edit] Lord High Sanvalvwag of Hollop

A man who was said to have globbered when he had forgotten his (non-existent) wife's birthday for the second year, and thus casts doubt on the usefulness of Ultra-Complete Maximegalon Dictionary. (Life, the Universe and Everything)

[edit] Lunkwill and Fook

Lunkwill and Fook are the two programmers chosen to make the great question to Deep Thought on the day of the Great On-Turning.

Appear in:

• The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

On TV, Antony Carrick plays Lunkwill and Timothy Davies plays Fook, and they appear in Episode Four.

On radio, the characters are just called First computer programmer and Second computer programmer, and appear in Fit the Fourth, and are played by Ray Hassett and Jeremy Browne respectively.

In the The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy movie they are merged with the characters of Frankie and Benjy mouse. Jack Stanley plays Lunkwill and Dominique Jackson plays Fook.

[edit] Magician

Appears wandering along a beach in Life, The Universe and Everything, but no one needs him.

[edit] Majikthise and Vroomfondel

Majikthise and Vroomfondel are philosophers, though they may not be. They make their appearance as representatives of the Amalgamated Union of Philosophers, Sages, Luminaries and other Professional Thinking Persons in order to protest a demarcation dispute against the Deep Thought computer being asked to determine the Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything. Through contemporary satirical industrial relations references they maintain that the search for ultimate truth is the inalienable prerogative of your working thinkers.

Appear in:

• The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

On radio, Majikthise was played by Jonathan Adams and Vroomfondel was played by Jim Broadbent. In the television series (but not on The Big Read), David Leland played Majikthise and Charles McKeown played Vroomfondel.

The characters were omitted from the movie version.

[edit] Max Quordlepleen

Max Quordlepleen is an entertainer who hosts at the Restaurant at the End of the Universe and the Big Bang Burger Bar (or "Big Bang Burger Chef" in the original radio version). His feelings about the Universe outside of his onstage persona are unclear, but he has witnessed its end over five hundred times.

Appears in:

• The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

On radio, Roy Hudd played him. On television, it was Colin Jeavons.

He re-appears in the final episode of the Quintessential Phase of the radio series, played by Roy Hudd again.

[edit] Mo Minetti

In Mostly Harmless, it is Mo Minetti who had left, due to pregnancy, being the anchor the USAM TV breakfast show which Tricia McMillan is in New York to try out for. Apparently, she declined, surprisingly for reasons of taste, to deliver her child on the air.

[edit] Murray Bost Henson

Murray Bost Henson is "a journalist from one of those papers with small pages and big print" as Arthur Dent puts it. He is a friend of Arthur's whom Arthur phones one day to find out how he can get in touch with Wonko the Sane, and uses incredibly odd idioms in conversation, including such phrases as "my old silver tureen", "my old elephant tusk" and "my old prosthetic limb" (as terms of endearment) and "the Great Golden Spike in the sky" (referring to the death-place of old newspaper stories).

He is played in Fit the Twenty-First of the Quandary Phase by Stephen Fry.

[edit] Old Man on the Poles

Played by Sanjeev Bhaskar in the final radio series, the old man on the poles on Hawalius, tells Arthur some old information wrapped up as news, and that everyone should have a beach house. The character appears in Mostly Harmless.

[edit] Old Thrashbarg

Old Thrashbarg first appears in the book Mostly Harmless, as a sort of priest on Lamuella, the planet on which Arthur becomes the Sandwich-Maker. He worships "Bob" and is often ignored by his villagers. Whenever he is questioned about Almighty Bob he merely describes him as "ineffable." No one on Lamuella knows what this means, because Thrashbarg owns the only dictionary, and it is "the ineffable will of Almighty Bob" that he keeps it to himself.

In the Quintessential Phase of the radio series he is voiced by Griff Rhys Jones.

[edit] Old Woman in the Cave

In the village of oracles on Hawalius, the smelly Old Woman in the Cave provides Arthur Dent with bad olfactory stimulation, and a photocopied story of her life. This occurs in Mostly Harmless.

[edit] Oolon Colluphid

Oolon Colluphid is the author of several books on religious and other philosophical topics. Colluphid's works include:

• Where God Went Wrong
• Some More of God's Greatest Mistakes
• Who Is This God Person Anyway?
• Well That About Wraps It Up for God
• Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Guilt But Have Been Too Ashamed To Find Out
• Everything You Never Wanted To Know About Sex But Have Been Forced To Find Out

Colluphid is also shown as the author of the book The Origins of the Universe in the first part of the Destiny of the Daleks serial of Doctor Who. The Doctor scoffs that he "got it wrong on the first line". The reference was inserted by Douglas Adams, who was at the time working as the show's script editor.

An early version of Colluphid was the character Professor Eric Von Contrick appearing in a December 1976 episode of the BBC radio series The Burkiss Way, which was based on author Erich Von Daniken. "Spaceships of the Gods", "Some more of my Spaceships of the Gods", "It shouldn't happen to Spaceships of the Gods",^[4] were books by the fictional author who had a Gag Halfrunt-style accent and who is visited in the Adams-written sketch by the aliens to demand a cut of Von Contrick's profits.^[5]

Colluphid is not based on Adams's friend, evolutionary biologist and popular science writer Richard Dawkins, known for his assertive atheist and antitheist writings. Dawkins's work The Selfish Gene was published in 1976, two years before Adams invented the character of Colluphid. Adams stated in an interview with American Atheists that he had not read any of Dawkins's books until his 'early thirties' (after 1982), four years after the character was created.^[6]

[edit] Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings

Writer of the worst poetry in the universe, as portrayed in all media except the original radio series. This character replaces Paul Neil Milne Johnstone, a real-life poet, who held the distinction on radio. In the film version she has moved from Greenbridge, Essex, England to Sussex.

[edit] Phouchg

In the original novel, this is one of the characters who received Deep Thought's answer to Life, the Universe and Everything seven and a half million years after Deep Thought had been asked the question. The other is Loonquawl.

[edit] Poodoo

Poodoo is a representative of the cloning company responsible for all the Lintilla clones. He arrives on Brontitall with Varntvar The Priest on a mission to 'revoke' the three Lintillas there by marrying them to their anti-clones, each of which is named Allitnil. The marriage certificates are actually legally binding forms that make the signers agree to terminate their existence, and the unctuous Poodoo may therefore be a lawyer of some sort.

After two of the newly married couples disappear in unsmoke, Arthur shoots the third Allitnil dead and, after tying up Poodoo and Varntvar, forces them to listen to a recording of Marvin's autobiography, so as he says, "It's all over for them."

Poodoo only appears in Fit the Twelfth of the radio series, in which he is played by Ken Campbell.

[edit] Prak

Prak was a witness in a trial on Argabuthon where the Dwellers in the Forest were suing the Princes of the Plains and the Tribesmen of the Cold Hillsides. Prak was a messenger for Dwellers in the Forest sent to the other two parties to ask "the reason for this intolerable behaviour." The white robots of Krikkit broke into the court room to steal the Argabuthon Sceptre of Justice, as it was part of the Wikkit Gate Key. In so doing they may have jogged a surgeon's arm, while the surgeon was injecting Prak with truth serum, resulting in too high a dose. When the trial resumed, Prak was instructed to tell "the Truth, the Whole Truth, and Nothing but the Truth," which, due to the overdose, he did. People at the scene had to flee or risk insanity as Prak told every single bit of the entire truth of the entire universe and all of its history, much of which they found ghastly. Prak recalled that many of the weird bits involved frogs or Arthur Dent. As a result, when Arthur Dent came to visit him in search of the truth, he nearly died laughing. He never did write down anything he discovered while telling the truth, first because he could not find a pencil and then because he could not be bothered. He has therefore forgotten almost all of it, but did recall the address of God's Last Message to His Creation, which he gave to Arthur when the laughter subsided. He died afterwards, not having recovered from his laughing fit.

Appears in:

• Life, the Universe, and Everything

On radio he appears in Fit the Eighteenth and is voiced by Chris Langham, who had played Arthur Dent in the very first stage adaptation of the scripts of the first radio series, in 1979.

[edit] Pralite monks

Pralite monks are an order that undergo extreme mental training before taking their final vows to be locked in small metal boxes for the rest of their lives; consequently, the galaxy is full of ex-Pralite monks who leave the order just before taking their final vows. Ford visited the ex-Pralite monks to Mind Surf and learnt the techniques he used to persuade Mr Prosser to let him take Arthur to the pub, in the first novel, and later to charm animals on prehistoric Earth long enough for him to kill them for food and clothing.

[edit] President Hudson

Fictional former president of the US who was publicly known to have had an affair with astrologer Gail Andrews in Mostly Harmless. One of his Presidential orders was the bombing of Damascus or "Damascectomy" (the taking out of Damascus), an issue Andrews denied that she counselled him on. At the time of "Mostly Harmless" Hudson had died for unknown reasons.

[edit] Princess Hooli

On the tri-d TV, Trillian Astra reports on the future wedding of Princess Hooli of Raui Alpha to Prince Gid of the Soofling Dynasty whilst Arthur is visiting Hawalius in the final novel. The seer who is showing Arthur the future news in order to demonstrate the sudden lack of need for future tellings quickly changes the channel. Arthur says that he knows her and tells him to turn the channel back. The seer replies "Look mate, if I had to stand here saying hello to everyone who came by who knew Princess Hooli..."

[edit] Mr Prosser

Mr L. Prosser is a somewhat nervous roadbuilder who - perfectly reasonably - would like to do his job: building a bypass right through Arthur Dent's house. Very little is known about the man except for his predilection for little fur hats, his marital status (married), a desire to live in a small cottage with axes above the door (although Mrs. Prosser would prefer climbing roses), a direct and very distant patrilineal descendant from Genghis Khan, and occasional visions of Mongol hordes, which were a result of his nomadic ancestry. He unfailingly addresses Arthur as "Mr Dent."

After some negotiation (with Ford Prefect in the novel, the television series, and the computer game but by Mr Dent in the radio series) he is temporarily convinced to take Mr Dent's place blocking the bulldozer threatening his (Mr Dent's) house whilst Mr Dent and Ford nip down to the local pub. While they are away, he quickly resumes the demolition of Mr Dent's house despite the earlier agreement, but is once again interrupted, for good this time, by the Vogon demolition of Earth.

Prosser holds the distinction of having the very first line of dialogue ever in the Hitchhiker's Guide canon, as he is the first character (not counting The Guide itself) to speak in Fit the First of the original series.

Appears in:

• The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
• The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (computer game)

On radio, he was played by Bill Wallis and appears in Fit the First. On television, he appears in Episode One, played by Joe Melia. He is played by Steve Pemberton in the movie version. He appears in Fit the Twenty-Sixth in the fifth radio series, despite not appearing in the book Mostly Harmless, voiced by Bruce Hyman.

[edit] Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz

The Vogon Captain in charge of overseeing the destruction of the Earth, Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz is sadistic, even by Vogon standards. When not shouting at or executing members of his own crew for insubordination, Jeltz enjoys torturing hitchhikers on board his ship by reading his poetry at them, then having them thrown out of an airlock into open space.

Physically, Jeltz is described as being unpleasant to look at, even for other Vogons. Given that Ford Prefect describes Vogons as having "as much sex appeal as a road accident", one can only imagine how much worse Jeltz must appear. This may explain his disposition.

It is revealed in The Restaurant at the End of the Universe that Jeltz had been hired by Gag Halfrunt to destroy the Earth. Halfrunt had been acting on behalf of a consortium of psychiatrists and the Imperial Galactic Government in order to prevent the discovery of the Ultimate Question. When Halfrunt learns that Arthur Dent escaped the planet's destruction, Jeltz is dispatched to track him down and destroy him. Jeltz is unable to complete this task, due to the intervention of Zaphod Beeblebrox the Fourth, Zaphod's great-grandfather.

In Mostly Harmless, Jeltz is once again responsible for the destruction of the Earth, this time presumably killing Arthur, Ford, Trillian, and Arthur's daughter, Random.

"Prostetnic Vogon" may be a title, rather than part of his name, since during the second episode of the third radio series (Fit the Fourteenth), two other Prostetnic Vogons are heard from. Also, in The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, Gag Halfrunt refers to Jeltz as "Captain of Vogons Prostetnic" (although this may have been a play on Halfrunt's accent). Appears in:

• The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
• The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
• Mostly Harmless
• The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (computer game)

In the first radio series, he was played by Bill Wallis. On television, it was Martin Benson. In the third, fourth and fifth radio series, he was played by Toby Longworth, although Longworth did not receive a credit for the role during the third series. In the film, he is voiced by Richard Griffiths.

[edit] Questular Rontok

Questular Rontok is the Vice President of the Galaxy. She is desperately in love with Zaphod Beeblebrox, the fugitive President of the Galaxy, and he knows it, as she unsuccessfully tries to hide it. Throughout the feature film, Questular alternately tries to arrest Zaphod for stealing the Heart of Gold (even enlisting the help of the Vogons), protects his life (when endangered by Vogon blaster fire), and at one point beseeches him to just give the stolen spaceship up. Questular appears to be the "doer", performing all the real functions of the Presidency, whilst Zaphod enjoys his status as the figurehead President. After Trillian repeatedly zaps Zaphod with the Point-of-view gun and he learns that she is truly in love with Arthur Dent and not him, he and Questular end up together at the end of the film. Questular is also severely jealous of Trillian for obvious reasons ("She's lying. She's thin and she's pretty, and she's lying!"), until Trillian and Zaphod part as lovers. In the early drafts of the film the character was male, and therefore somewhat different. In a deleted scene on the DVD, Questular expresses her love for Zaphod shortly after all the Vogons become depressed.

Appears in:

• The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy movie, played by Anna Chancellor.

[edit] Receptionists

[edit] New York Hotel receptionist

In Mostly Harmless Tricia gets garbled messages via the receptionist from Gail Andrews. Tricia interprets the message "Not happy," as meaning Gail Andrews wasn't happy with their interview.

[edit] Megadodo receptionist

Appearing in the second novel and Fit the Seventh the large, pink-winged, insectoid receptionist in the Megadodo offices points Zaphod using a petulant tentacle towards Zarniwoop's office, the one with a whole electronic univerise in it, and is also bugged by Marvin who just wants someone to talk to. In the Quintessential Phase, he directs Zaphod towards Zarniwoop's new office, having put on the old hippy act.

[edit] Random Dent

Originally prophesied by her father, Arthur Dent, after he hears a Vogon for the first time, a disillusioned, teenaged Random Frequent Flyer Dent (the in-vitro progeny with Tricia McMillan) is found in Mostly Harmless. The line "I wish I had a daughter, so I could forbid her to marry [a Vogon]" is only followed up in the 2005 radio series adaptation of Mostly Harmless. The new Poe-reminiscent black bird version of the Guide manipulates her (as it has the Grebulons and Ford Prefect), so she is indirectly responsible for the destruction of all possible Earths.

Early in Mostly Harmless, Arthur, travels from planet to planet by donating to "DNA banks", finding that for semen deposits, he can travel first class.

Appears in:

• Mostly Harmless

In the final radio series, The Quintessential Phase adapted from Mostly Harmless, she is played by Samantha Béart (formerly known as Sam Burke).

[edit] Reg Nullify

Reg Nullify leads the "Cataclysmic Combo" band at Milliways. His band—from the second novel—performed on the LP album/cassette re-recording of Fit the Fifth and Fit the Sixth of the original radio series, released as The Restaurant at the End of the Universe. The role was played by Graham de Wilde. Their song was also released as a single.

[edit] Rob McKenna

Described in the fourth book as a "Quasi Supernormal Incremental Precipitation Inducer," Rob McKenna is an ordinary lorry driver who can never get away from rain and he has a book of 231 233 types to prove it. Arthur suggests that he could show the diary to someone, which Rob does, making the media deem him a 'Rain God,' for the clouds want to be near him, to love him, to water him. This windfall gives him a lucrative career of not travelling to places for money.

Appears in:

• So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

In the radio series, he appears in Fits the Nineteenth, Fits the Twentieth and Fits the Twenty-First and is played by Bill Paterson, who also played one of the Arcturan Megafreighter crew in Fit the Seventh.

[edit] Roosta

Roosta is a hitchhiker and researcher for the Guide, whom Ford Prefect knows, at least in passing. He carries a special towel with nutrients infused into one corner, and barbecue sauce stains in an opposite corner, which can be obtained by sucking the towel (certain bits of the towel taste vile beyond all imagining, and for this reason, one part of the towel also contains anti-depressants to go along with the barbecue sauce, ostensibly for use when vile nutrient-soaked end depresses him). He saves Zaphod Beeblebrox from a horrible death in the offices of the Hitchhiker's Guide (by taking him into the artificial universe in Zarniwoop's office), and is then kidnapped along with Zaphod and the left-hand tower of the Guide building by a squadron of Frogstar Fighters. In the radio series, he serves no other purpose than to provide conversation (and deliver the line "here Zaphod, suck this!") while the pair are travelling to the Frogstar; however, in the books, he tells Zaphod to climb out of the window onto the surface of Frogstar World B, which ensures Zaphod remains in Zarniwoop's universe and can survive the Total Perspective Vortex.

Appears in:

• Fit the Seventh and Fit the Eighth of the original radio series.
• The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

On radio, he was voiced by Alan Ford.

[edit] The Ruler of the Universe

The Ruler of the Universe is a man living in a small shack on a world that can only be reached with a key to an unprobability field or use of an Infinite Improbability Drive. He does not want to rule the universe and tries not to whenever possible, and therefore is by far the ideal candidate for the job. He has an odd, solipsistic view of reality: he lives alone with his cat, which he has named 'The Lord' even though he is not certain of its existence. He has a very dim view of the past, and he only believes in what he sees with his eyes and ears (and doesn't seem too certain of that, either): anything else is hearsay, so when executive-types visit to ask him what he thinks about certain matters, such as wars and the like, he tells them how he feels without considering consequences. As part of his refusal to accept that anything is true, or simply as another oddity, he even talked to his table for a week to see how it would react. He does sometimes admit that some things may be more likely than others – e.g. that he might like a glass of whiskey, which the visitors leave for him...

In the radio adaptation of Mostly Harmless, Ford also meets Zaphod in the accounting department of the new Guide offices. Zaphod describes being bored by a man in a shack and his cat for over a year.

Appears in:

• Fit the Twelfth of the original radio series.
• The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

Referenced in:

• The Quintessential Phase of the Radio Series

He was voiced on radio by Stephen Moore (in the original Radio Times listing he was announced as being played by Ron Hate - an anagram of "A.N.Other" - because the show was so far behind schedule that the role had not been cast when the magazine went to print).

[edit] Russell

Russell is Fenchurch's burly, blonde-moustached, blow-dried brother. He picks up Arthur Dent in his car after he arrived on Earth at the beginning of the fourth book. Arthur and Russell take an instant dislike to each other but this is also the first time he meets Fenchurch, his lover and co-flyer to be - albeit she is asleep or in a comatose/fugue state and only utters one word - "This" - then lapses back into wherever she is. Fenchurch also doesn't like Russell - he calls her "Fenny" which she dislikes intensely. He also tries to simplify her problems so he can explain and understand them better (for example, he tells Arthur that Fenchurch believes herself to be a hedgehog).

He first appeared in the book So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish, and when this was adapted to radio appears in Fit the Nineteenth, where he is played by Rupert Degas.

[edit] Safety and Civil Reassurance Administration Officials

In the story Young Zaphod Plays it Safe, a young Zaphod visits the wreck of the Starship Billion Year Bunker that has crashed on the planet with the best lobsters in the Western Galaxy. He is accompanied by two Officials from the Safety and Civil Reassurance Administration and an empty spacesuit, as they search for aorist rods and a Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Designer Person (babbling gently about a shining city on a hill) who it turns out has escaped to earth. The Officials declare the planet must be made "perfectly safe".

[edit] Sheila Steafel

Whilst living in a cave on prehistoric Earth, Arthur Dent visits (via a dream) comedian Sheila Steafel on the radio show Steafel Plus on 4 August 1982. Arthur, in his dressing gown, explains of missing Mars Bars, certain types of tea and Radio 4's News Quiz, Chat Shows, the Archers and Just a Minute. "There is nothing quite like Kenneth Williams in the entire galaxy, I've looked!" Space, he says, is staggering, bewilderingly dull: there is so much of it and so little in it, "it sometimes reminds me of The Observer".

Adams wrote this segment specifically for Steafel's show, and Simon Jones appeared in character as Arthur Dent. Thus Steafel herself became a Hitchhiker's character.^[7]

[edit] Shooty and Bang Bang

Shooty and Bang Bang are Blagulon galactic policemen. They pursue Zaphod Beeblebrox to the planet of Magrathea, whereupon they proceed to shoot at him. In the radio and television series, this results in a large computer exploding and throwing Arthur Dent, Ford Prefect and Zaphod forwards in time to the Restaurant at the End of the Universe. In the books, Arthur, Ford and Zaphod are saved from certain death when Marvin talks to the cops' spaceship, which subsequently becomes so depressed it commits suicide, disabling the cops' life support units and rendering them unable to breathe as they were described as being "methane breathers."

Bang Bang and Shooty appear in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Bang Bang was played on radio by Ray Hassett and on television by Marc Smith. Shooty was played on radio by Jim Broadbent and on television by Matt Zimmerman.

In the Illustrated Guide to the Galaxy, the pair are played by Douglas Adams and Ed Victor (his literary agent).

The pair were written as parodies of American cop show characters, particularly Starsky and Hutch. The characters are never named in dialogue or in the novels, but are named in the original radio series scripts.

[edit] Six Men

In their six starships, the Six Men are the only people who have, as far as he is aware, the key to the unprobability field that locks away The Ruler of the Universe. This occurs in Fit the Twelfth and the second novel.

[edit] Stavro Mueller

Ran Club Alpha in New York, visited by Tricia McMillan in Mostly Harmless. We are told that he was was a Greek with a German father and has handed Club Alpha over to his brother Karl Mueller so Stavro can open a new club in London. In the Quintessential Phase Stavro is an only child.

[edit] Strinder the Tool Maker

As Arthur is regarded as The Sandwichmaker from Bob on the remote iron-age planet of Lamuella, Strinder makes knives to cut the Perfectly Normal Beast for his sarnies. From Mostly Harmless and The Quintessential Phase

[edit] Slartibartfast

Main article: Slartibartfast

[edit] Sulijoo

Another friend of Disaster Area's Hotblack Desiato who Ford says agreed with him that Disaster Area was going to make Hotblack a star. Appears in the second novel.

[edit] The thing at the Resettlement Advice Centre on Pintleton Alpha

This character advises Arthur to settle on Bartledan in Mostly Harmless, but is the telepathic Resettlement officer on NowWhat in the final radio series.

[edit] Thor

Thor is a figure in Norse mythology. He first appears at Milliways, and is mentioned in Fit the Fifth of the radio series, Episode Five of the television series, and the book The Restaurant at the End of the Universe. He has no lines in either of these.

He next appears in the book Life, the Universe and Everything, at a party, where he is chatting up Trillian. Arthur tricks him into stepping out of the (flying) building by challenging him to a fight. In the radio adaptation of this he appears in Fit the Sixteenth, where he is played by Dominic Hawksley. Hawksley reprises the role in the radio adaptation of Mostly Harmless, the Quintessial Phase, despite not appearing in that book. Two other characters from the Restaurant - Max Quordlepleen and Zarquon also appear.

Thor also appears in the Dirk Gently novel The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul.

[edit] Tribesmen of the Cold Hillsides

These tribesmen fought with (in the epilogue of Life the Universe and Everything) the Princes of the Plains in the land of the Dwellers in the Forest, to the detriment of the latter, for a really good reason, but Prak cannot remember why.

[edit] Trin Tragula

Trin Tragula was a speculative philosopher who invented the Total Perspective Vortex basically in order to annoy his wife. His wife thought he was an idiot who needed to "have some sense of perspective", exhorting her view frequently. When he attached his wife to the Total Perspective Vortex, the shock of seeing herself in relation to the rest of the universe instantly annihilated her brain. Although he was horrified by this, Trin Tragula found some satisfaction in discovering that the one thing that a person cannot afford to have in a universe this size is a sense of perspective.

[edit] Varntvar The Priest

He has only four lines in the programme, accompanying Poodoo and the Allitnils in the conspiracy to destroy Lintilla's clones.

Varntvar is eventually forced to listen to a tape of Marvin's autobiography.

He appears only in Fit the Twelfth of the radio series, in which he is played by Geoffrey McGivern.

[edit] Veet Voojagig

Veet Voojagig was described as "a quiet, young student at the University of Maximegalon" who, after drinking some Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters with Zaphod Beeblebrox became obsessed with the problem of what happens to all his used ballpoint pens. Voojagig claimed to have discovered the solution, that they disappear to a world of their own, and claimed further to have worked on that world. The character was described as ending up in "tax exile" – and may have had a hand in "Zaphod Beeblebrox's highly profitable second-hand [pen] business." Also of note that when others visited the planet where Veet Voojagig claimed to have lived, all they found was a small asteroid inhabited by "a strange old man who repeatedly claimed that nothing was true, though he was later found to be lying."

Appears in:

• The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Referenced in:

• Fit the Third of the original radio series.

[edit] Vroomfondel and Majikthise

See Majikthise and Vroomfondel

[edit] War Command Krikkiters

Zaphod overheard the two War Command Krikkiters in the Robot War Zones, discussing the lassitude of the Krikkit War Robots, saying The war, sir, it seems to be getting them down. They just seem to get a little tired and a little grim ... and then they sulk. Life, The Universe and Everything.

[edit] Will Smithers

Owner of a grey Porsche 928S (which Rob McKenna a has been blocking for 20 miles) with a sticker that reads "My other car is also a Porsche", Will soaks Arthur Dent (and fails to give him a lift) when he is hitchhiking back on Earth at the beginning of So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish. Will works in advertising and drinks in Arthur's local pub, the Horse and Groom and is owner of Know-Nothing Bozo the Non-Wonder Dog.

[edit] Whale

A sperm whale called suddenly and instantly into existence by the Heart of Gold's improbability drive, above the planet Magrathea alongside Agrajag (as a bowl of flowers) this creature has a very self-aware extensential life of discovery which sadly lasts only a minute before it impacts the ground, leaving a large crater and quite a lot of atomized whale remains. It appears in the first novel, the TV Series and Fit the Third. Voiced by Stephen Moore in the radio and TV series, and by Bill Bailey in the movie.

[edit] Wise Old Bird, The

The Wise Old Bird is the leader of the Bird People of Brontitall. He does not like saying the word "shoe", as he and the bird people consider it unspeakable. The Bird People live in the right ear of a thirteen-mile-high statue of Arthur Dent, constructed by their ancestors.

The Wise Old Bird appeared in Fit the Tenth of the original radio series. He was voiced by John Le Mesurier.

[edit] Wonko the Sane

John Watson aka Wonko the Sane lives in coastal California with his wife, Arcane Jill Watson, in a house called The Outside of the Asylum (which features interior features on its outside and exterior on its inside). When Wonko saw instructions on how to use a toothpick on a packet of toothpicks he became convinced that the world had gone crazy and so built the house as an asylum for it, hence the reversal of the interior and exterior. Arthur and Fenchurch pay Wonko a visit and learn that like the both of them, he had also received a fishbowl from the dolphins (having been a marine biologist and close to them). He also claims to have seen angels with golden beards, green wings and Dr Scholl sandals, who drive little scooters, do a little coke and are very cool about a lot of things. Arthur and Fenchurch discover the truth behind this after they have seen God's Last Message to His Creation.

Appears in:

• So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

In the radio series, he is played by Christian Slater.

[edit] Wowbagger, the Infinitely Prolonged

Wowbagger is an alien who became immortal by accident, so therefore does not know how to handle being immortal. This is in contrast to the rest of the immortal beings in the universe, who are, in his opinion, "a bunch of serene bastards." He eventually comes up with a plan to keep himself busy: he will insult every living being in the universe - in alphabetical order. He appears in the third book, Life, the Universe and Everything, while insulting Arthur Dent with the phrase: "Dent, you're a jerk... A complete asshole" (in the US changed to "...complete kneebiter").

Wowbagger is also present in The Private Life of Genghis Khan[4], where he insults Genghis Khan, provoking him to burn down large segments of Asia.

In the new radio series, he is voiced by Toby Longworth. In the Quintessential Phase, he finally reaches the end of his quest by insulting the Great Prophet Zarquon, who revokes Wowbagger's immortality.

Appears in:

• Life, the Universe, and Everything
• The Private Life of Genghis Khan, published in The Salmon of Doubt

[edit] Yooden Vranx

Yooden Vranx is the late former President of the Galaxy, the one before Zaphod Beeblebrox. Just before his death, Yooden came to see Zaphod and presented his idea to steal the Heart of Gold. He also convinced Zaphod to lock out one part of his brains so that no one could figure out why Zaphod ran for the presidency. Before becoming the President of the Galaxy, Yooden Vranx was a captain of an Arcturan megafreighter.

Zaphod and Ford Prefect first met Yooden when they were children on Betelgeuse. Zaphod had souped up a trijet scooter and he and Ford raided Yooden's megafreighter on a bet. After storming the bridge with toy pistols and demanding conkers, Yooden gave them both conkers, food, booze, and various other items before teleporting the pair back to the maximum security wing of the Betelgeuse state prison.

[edit] Zaphod Beeblebrox the Fourth

The great-grandfather of Zaphod Beeblebrox, Zaphod Beeblebrox the Fourth is one of two active characters in books who are dead (see also: Hotblack Desiato). When Arthur Dent inadvertently freezes the systems on board Heart of Gold at the same moment Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz attacks, the younger Zaphod holds a seance to contact Zaphod the Fourth.

Zaphod the Fourth berates his great-grandchild for being generally self-absorbed and learns of the ship's imminent destruction. He stops time so he can continue deriding Zaphod, who tries (rather weakly) to defend his life. Zaphod the Fourth saves the ship and crew to keep his great-grandchild and his "modern friends" from joining him in the afterlife and thereby ruining the experience.

When he learns that the ship had seized up to solve the dilemma of either making tea (in The Restaurant at the End of the Universe) or figuring out why Arthur would want dried leaves in water (on radio, Fit the Ninth), he solves these problems before leaving by either leaving a pot of tea in the Nutri-Matic Drink Synthesizer or by explaining to Eddie that "he's an ignorant monkey who doesn't know better", respectively. In the book Z.B. the Fourth approves of the tying up of all computer resources to make tea - unlike everyone else present on the Heart Of Gold at the time, including Arthur who originally made the request of Eddie.

As a final note, Zaphod explains that his great-grandfather is "the Fourth" due to an accident with a contraceptive and a time machine. Zaphod the Fourth, therefore, bitterly refers to his great-grandson as "Zaphod Beeblebrox the Nothingth".

Appears in:

• Fit the Ninth of the original radio series
• The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

He was voiced on radio by Richard Goulden.

[edit] Zarniwoop / Vann Harl

Zarniwoop works in the offices of the Guide, on Ursa Minor Beta. When Zaphod travels to Ursa Minor Beta to meet him, he is informed that Zarniwoop is unavailable and too cool to see him right now. He is in his office, but he's on an intergalactic cruise. Zaphod subsequently discovers that Zarniwoop's intergalactic cruise has been spending 900 years on Frogstar B, waiting for its complement of small lemon-soaked paper napkins, and every single passenger has aged considerably despite enforced hibernation. Only one person, who was not a passenger, but who hid himself on the spaceship, has not aged – Zarniwoop. Zaphod subsequently learns that, before he sealed part of his own brain, he was collaborating with Zarniwoop to find out who rules the universe – this being Zarniwoop's obsession. In the books, Zarniwoop is marooned on The Ruler of the Universe's planet by Zaphod et al. and is stuck outside the only shelter for weeks in driving rain, because The Ruler is unsure as to whether Zarniwoop's desperate thumping on the door is real or not. At the end of the second radio series, he is similarly marooned, but this time by Arthur, with Ford Prefect and Zaphod Beeblebrox for company.

In the Quintessential Phase radio series, Zarniwoop is revealed to be the same person as the Mostly Harmless character Vann Harl (Zarniwoop is his first name), and a Vogon in disguise. He has escaped being left on the desolate planet and is masterminding the Guide's new all-powerful format.

Appears in:

• The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
• Life, the Universe, and Everything

On the radio, Zarniwoop Vann Harl is voiced by Jonathan Pryce. His casting was accidental – he had been hired to play a different role (the Ruler of the Universe, whose lines had apparently not been written in time). He was happy to return for the final series, however, when a lot more was revealed about the character, much of it appropriately sinister, Pryce now having become well known for playing villains.

[edit] Zarquon

Zarquon is a legendary prophet. He is worshipped by a small group visiting The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, and is old, bearded, robed, wreathed in light, has stary eyes and a crown of gold. His name is frequently invoked as a curse, such as "Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish".

It is only on our visit to Milliways, does Zarquon appear - his overdue second coming. The host Max had done the show over five hundred times and nothing like this had ever happened before.

He appears in Fit the Fifth, voiced by Anthony Sharp, in the bookThe Restaurant at the End of the Universe and in Episode Five is played by Colin Bennett.

He has a final brief cameo in The Quintessential Phase played by William Franklyn.

[edit] Zem

Zem is an affable, yet quite stupid, swampdwelling mattress (probably of very high quality) who flollops around Squornshellous Zeta and tries his best to cheer up Marvin the Paranoid Android, who became stranded on the planet after having one arm welded to his side and one leg replaced by a steel pillar which turns out to be of immense importance, with utterly predictable results. After attempting to make conversation about the weather, Marvin's life story, and the economy of Squornshellous itself, Zem offers that Marvin should be more mattresslike. Zem is also the sole witness to Marvin's abduction by the Krikkit war robots.

Also note that "Zem" is the name of all Squornshellous Zeta mattresses, because as Zem puts it "Some of us get killed... but we never know which, and thus globbering" [A mattress noise expressing sympathy] "are kept to a minimum."

Appears in:

• Life, the Universe, and Everything

On radio, he is voiced by Andy Taylor.

[edit] Reference

1. ^ Gaiman, Neil; David K. Dickson and MJ Simpson (2003). Don't Panic: Douglas Adams & The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Third Edition, Titan Books, Pages 218-219. ISBN 1-84023-742-2. 
2. ^ Adams, Douglas. The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy The Original Radio Scripts. ISBN 0330292889. 
3. ^ Adams, Douglas "The Utterly Utterly Merry Comic Relief Christmas Book", 1986
4. ^ reference to "It Shouldn't Happen to a Vet", James Herriot Movie and Book[1]
5. ^ "The Burkiss Way", Douglas Adams at the BBC, BBC Audio
6. ^ American Atheists interview with Douglas Adams
7. ^ "The Lost HitchHiker's Sketch", Douglas Adams at the BBC, BBC Audio

[edit] See also

• Races and species in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

[edit] External links

• Hotblack Desiato Estate Agents – the real estate agent so named above.
• Wowbagger.com – a tribute page to Douglas Adams and his character that includes a random insult generator applet and software.

	v • d • e The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy By Douglas Adams
Books:	The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy | The Restaurant at the End of the Universe | Life, the Universe and Everything | So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish | Mostly Harmless | Young Zaphod Plays it Safe | The Salmon of Doubt| The Original Radio Scripts
Media:	Radio series (Phases 1 & 2, Phases 3, 4 & 5) | TV series | Movie | Computer game | Differences between versions | Cast lists
Characters:	Arthur Dent | Ford Prefect | Zaphod Beeblebrox | Marvin | Trillian | Slartibartfast | The Guide | Minor characters
Places:	List of places | Total Perspective Vortex | Heart of Gold | Wikkit Gate | Starship Titanic | Galactic Empire | Whole Sort of General Mish Mash
Miscellanea:	The Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything | Babel fish | Bistromathic drive | Cultural references | h2g2 | Infinidim Enterprises | Infinite Improbability Drive | International Phenomenon | Notable phrases | Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster | Point-of-view gun | Races and species | Somebody Else's Problem field | Sirius Cybernetics Corporation | Towel Day | Vogon poetry | Other miscellanea