User:Matthewhlme

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Matthew Helme is 18 years old and is a student at Lancaster and Morecambe College. The course he is doing is IT Practioners Level 2. He enjoys watching DVD's and making models of men.

His friends and family think he is going to die alone, as revealed in the latest poll. He also invented freeware, and has little interest in ICT.

For christmas Matthew received "Dinner", this was long anticipated by him. It is not known what this "dinner" will consist of, but it will likely be sleeping pills, and pain killers. We hope you enjoyed your christmas Matthew, and enjoyed your "dinner".

He says that he has arthritis but we THE PEOPLE are unsure about this. We think that it is benefit fraud.

This is what Matthew Helme looks like:

View at your own expense. Matthew has many enemies, many of whom like silence and peace. Matthew is a psychopath hell-bent on havoc. He makes constant noise in order to annoy his fellow classmates. The noise can be discribed as "A dying whale" or " A moose having a child". Matthew is also described as a "homosexual" which he falsely denies. He likes the company of sheep and men, in a recent statement he said " I like them a lot, I like them so much a love them. Sheep and men are my life, and i will continue to love them"

After a sad and lonely christmas you think that Matthew would be looking forward to a Happy New Year but you are wrong. Matthew will be spending christmas in his bedroom doing nothing but having some "dinner" which i spoke about before. After his dinner he will be going to sleep at 23:30 31/122006 and waking up 11:30 1/1/2007. Happy New Year Matthew whatever you do.

Here is what Matthew recieved for Christmas: Haircut, 2 books, Dinner X3.

There you go that is what Matthew recieved for christmas. Matthew is very happy with this and is upset a bit cause he never got more.

As we have recently found out that Matthews Dad was born in January in the 1950's (Matthew is unsure about the year). Also Matthew shares a room with his brother Paul 21 and his sister Marie 23. He also has a 16 year old brother. This is all written in Mathews autobiography Sheep, Men and Me.

As well as having many enimies Matthew has a very special friend named Dale Winton. This is Dale Winton:

To see an official video of Matthew Helme visit this URL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJd1apkAX0E

Matthew also has an unhealty attachment to Christopther Young and Helen Morris as he thinks that Chris is his soul mate and that Helen is the Pink Power Ranger and therefore going to take over the world one person at a time with her power of screeching.

Here is a picture of Matthew Helme Angry.

Matthew Helme is a necrophiliac. This means that Matthew is sexually attracted to dead corpses. He has sex with corpses like this: