User:Lord Bob/Remember

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Hi, kids! It's Lord Bob here! As you may have noticed, I'm quite active on Articles for Deletion, where I am fond of voting on articles, often voting to delete them. I have often been challenged on my voting practices, and accused of some pretty nasty things. Well, I hate these dreadful misunderstandings as much as anybody else, so I thought I'd try to clear them up here and now.

It's natural to be upset that your article was listed for deletion, and that many people voted to delete it. I know, it can be tough. But if you're angry about my vote, remember: just because I say that the subject is non-notable doesn't mean that's what I mean. "Non-notable" is not a criteria for deletion, after all! Well, I mean, it is as per CSD A7, not to mention all precedent and de facto standing, but that's not real criteria if it's not written down somewhere with a pretty orange header.

So, if you see a vote to delete your article, it means...

1. We're trying to censor you. Wikipedia has one mission above all others: to destroy free expression. Your rantings about slang terms for breasts that your friends use are your thoughts, and our only goal is to take those thoughts away from you and enforce a cruel, twisted groupthink. Free speech is the enemy of society.
2. The higher-ups in the Wikipedia cabal (there is no cabal) have decided that the article on your garage band that's still working on its first album threatens their control over Wikipedia. As a result, it must be obviated before it can become a rallying points for friends of democracy, the bastards.
3. Your brilliant prose about UFOs replacing George W. Bush with Robot Bush in 1973 threatens the establishment which Wikipedia so desperately tries to support. WP:No original research is just a cover to hide your brilliance.
4. We're desperately anti-American/pro-American, and trying to enforce an anti-Israel/anti-Palestine POV to cover up the reality of evolution/intelligent design. Pick whatever applies.
5. We're just plain assholes. The fact that there only a few hundred thousand articles in the English Wikipedia clearly indicates that we really hate knowledge, and try to purge it whenever possible. The free encyclopedia anyone can edit? More like the free FASCIST NAZI HITLER BASTARD!

Hopefully, these friendly guidelines will help you out next time somebody votes to delete the article about how gay your junior high school teacher is.