List of fictional races in South Park

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Spoiler warning: Plot and/or ending details follow.

The South Park television series includes a number of elements from science fiction, fantasy, and folklore despite its contemporary theme. This includes aliens, mechanical beings, and scientific experiments.

1 Crab People
2 Joozians
3 Gelgameks
4 Genetic experiments
5 Jakovasaurs
6 Marklar
- 6.1 Linguistics
- 6.2 Quotes
7 Visitors
8 Scuzzlebutt
9 Sea People
10 Genetically Modified Towels (Towelie)
11 Goobacks
12 ManBearPig
13 Lice

[edit] Crab People

Crab people in their underground cave, as seen in South Park episode 708 "South Park Is Gay!"

The Crab People are evidently evil beings, given that their appearance is emphasised by the lyrics to their ominious leitmotif: "Crab people, crab people, taste like crab, talk like people."

They are a species of what appears to be mutant crab. They are crabs that stand about four feet tall and speak English. They have appeared or been mentioned in the South Park episodes "South Park is Gay!", "Quest for Ratings" and "Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow."

[edit] Plan for world domination

Crab people want domination of the world, but are too weak and small to destroy or take down man by force. So the crab people created an ingenious way to take down man: turn all men into metrosexuals. As one crab person said, "If you can't beat man, change man". By changing men into metrosexuals, man would be too weak and "gay" to beat the crab people. They went about achieving this goal by dressing up as the five men from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. At the episode's conclusion, it was learned that the Crab People had previously attempted a takeover of North America in the 1970s, using The Jeffersons.

[edit] Song

The Crab People Song is usually played whenever the crab people appear. It is basically low chanting of "Crab, people, crab, people..." though at one point, some additional lyrics are chanted: "Taste like crab, talk like people", shining a little light on the physiology and linguistic abilities of the Crab People.

[edit] Trivia

Other than the episode "South Park Is Gay!", the Crab People are also mentioned briefly in "Quest for Ratings", when the boys and their friends are trying to come up with ideas for school TV shows. Cartman suggests doing a show about Crab People, to which Stan replies, "I think we can do a little better than Crab People". Later, in "Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow", Crab People are the most ridiculous suggestion as to who caused the Beaverton flood (a parody of Hurricane Katrina).

Possibly because Crab People represent the nonsensical and idiotic, some people^{[citation needed]} thought Stone and Parker would make Crab People the Family Guy writing staff in the second of the two-part episode Cartoon Wars. The creators opted for a different, but equally ridiculous idea: manatees

It is possible these characters are based on the creatures from a Doctor Who plot, "The Macra Terror" [1].

The crab people also bear more than a passing resemblance to the 'crab-like builders' from the book Valis by Philip K. Dick.

Even more likely, one fan suggests that the Crab People were taken directly from Jim Henson and Frank Oz's 1982 film, The Dark Crystal. The film makes use of remarkably similar creatures, called Garthim, who guard the kingdom of the evil Skeksis. This idea was given greater credibility upon the inclusion of "Nannie Skexis" in the 10th season episode, Tsst. Nannie Skexis, a vulture-like creature who pokes fun at the eldest of the four nannies on the television show Nanny 911, was taken directly from The Dark Crystal. Although her name was misspelled with an 'x' instead of 'ks,' it reveals that the South Park creators have seen the film and received inspiration from it.

Matt Stone mentioned in an interview once that crab people are an "inside joke" between the staff. It is often mentioned as a reference to what results from when the staff procrastinates on an episode. Matt Stone and Trey Parker originally put the crab people in as a placeholder when they were making the episode. As the time before airing ran out, they became more "desperate" and decided to leave the crab people in.

[edit] Joozians

The Joozians are a fictional alien species who appeared in the episode "Cancelled."

As their name suggests, the Joozians are parodies of Jewish people. Though they have green skin, some of their features (for example, giant noses) are parodies of those stereotypically ascribed to Jews, and their voices and language seem similar to those of the Yiddish language. Their wide ears cause their heads to be shaped like the Star of David. Their cuisine is also similar to Jewish food, and when Kyle shows appreciation for it is remarked that he probably has Joozian ancestry ("Tell us about it", Cartman mutters). This may imply that all Jewish people are supposed to be descended from Joozians, since this episode indicates that different human races are actually different alien species.

According to South Park, the Joozians are in control of all media in the Universe, meant to spoof what some conspiracy theorists think about Jews on Earth. In the episode, the South Park boys must try to dissuade the two Joozians in charge of the alien reality show Earth from cancelling (and destroying) the world. They do so by blackmailing the aliens with pictures of them having what seems to be the alien equivalent of oral sex.

[edit] Gelgameks

Gelgameks protesting the idea of having sex with women, as seen in South Park episode 608 "Red Hot Catholic Love"

The Gelgameks are greenish creatures from another planet resembling vaginas turned upside down.

In the episode "Red Hot Catholic Love", they were represented at the Vatican, where a collection of priests and cardinals are discussing the priest sex abuse scandal, which, in the South Park universe, is fully known of and accepted by all Catholic priests (except Father Maxi, the priest from South Park). The head of the Gelgamek Catholics angrily objects to Maxi's suggestion of allowing priests to have sex with women so as to not encourage molestation, saying "The Gelgamek vagina is three feet wide and filled with razor-sharp teeth! Do you really expect us to have sex with that?"

[edit] Genetic experiments

Dr. Alphonse Mephisto has been known to create a number of genetic experiments, however, most of these experiments involve giving an existing animal multiple asses.

Some of his experiments include:

A macrocephalic clone of Stan
Genetically engineered man-killing turkeys
Kevin, an experiment to create the perfect pop star, a clone of Michael Jackson that was birthed by a llama. The story of Mephisto and Kevin is explained in the Primus song of the same name that was made for the Chef Aid album and episode.
Bunnyfish. (Although the boys note that these are simply fish with fake bunny ears tied to them)
A gorilla spliced with a mosquito.
A rat spliced with a duck.
Swiss cheese spliced with chalk and a fake beard.
A chipmunk spliced with a piece of provolone cheese.
A 4 Assed Monkey
A 4 Assed Ostrich
A 4 Assed Mongoose
A 5 Assed Monkey
A 7 Assed Turtle

[edit] Jakovasaurs

Jakov and Junjun (the latter renamed "Hope" by the Mayor) were the only known living pair of an extremely rare species known as the Jakovasaurs (pronounced "Jack-off-a-saurs"). They resemble a cross between a human being and a rubber chicken, and at first possess linguistic patterns similar to those of Gungans. Junjun is a parody of the Star Wars character Jar-Jar Binx, whom many thought to be one of the downfalls of Episode I. Though arguably good natured, the loud and obnoxious Jakovasaurs are universally despised by the residents of South Park, with the only exception being Eric Cartman, who finds their moronic slapstick antics to be downright hilarious, and their personalities completely likeable; Kyle speculates this may be because they are the only creatures as annoying as he is. The pair and their offspring were eventually tricked into relocating to France, where their Jerry Lewis-esque behavior was much more appreciated.

[edit] Marklar

A group of Marklars

The Marklars are a fictional, secular alien race that appear in several episodes. The word marklar is also a generic word used by the Marklars, similar to smurf.

In the South Park episode "Starvin' Marvin in Space" much of the action involves the Marklars, who use the word "marklar" to represent the meaning of any noun, including proper nouns. The Marklars say that on the planet Marklar, every person, place, or thing is referred to as "Marklar." For example, all Marklars are named Marklar, and everything on the planet Marklar (or the "marklar Marklar") is also called Marklar. Similar techniques have been previously used by other fictional races; notably the Smurfs, who only applied the word "smurf" to verbs and adjectives, and the underground creatures of Pierre Berton's children's book "The Secret World of Og", who applied the word "og" to all words, with the exception of mathematical operators.

Physically, the Marklar are humanoids. They seem to be a fairly kind race, in that they allowed the starving Ethiopians to move to their planet. They were seen briefly in another episode, "The Red Badge of Gayness", and were mentioned in the episode "Cancelled", where it was revealed that they hate the unnamed aliens from the Horsehead Nebula. They were also shown in the retelling of the story of Xenu in the episode "Trapped in the Closet" as victims of Xenu's evil plan.

[edit] Linguistics

For some reason, the variety of meanings of marklar was no problem for the Marklars; just as humans are able to understand homophones based on context, the Marklars seemed to understand their language. This was demonstrated when the Marklar leader, Marklar, simply said, "Hey, Marklar," and one particular Marklar stepped out of the crowd, knowing somehow that he was the one being referenced.

Marklar is not used as a conjunction or article, nor is it normally used in the place of a pronoun, although pronouns may reference marklar. Unlike a pronoun, the referenced word need not appear in the same sentence, nor even ever have been used by the speaker at any time. The plural form is marklars.

[edit] Quotes

On being welcomed to the planet, Marklar (the leader of the Marklars) said: Greetings, Marklar! I am Marklar! This is Marklar.

You see, young marklar. Those marklars don't care about marklar marklar. They just want to take your marklar and marklar their own marklar. The only marklar for this is to marklar.

Kyle: Marklar, these marklars want to change your marklar. They don't want this Marklar or any of his marklars to live here because it's bad for their marklar. They use Marklar to try and force marklars to believe their marklar. If you let them stay here, they will build marklars and marklars. They will take all your marklars and replace them with their Marklar. These marklars have no good marklar to live on Marklar, so they must come here to Marklar. Please, let these marklars stay where they can grow and prosper without any marklars, marklars, or marklars.

Marklar: Young marklar, your Marklar is wise and true.

[edit] Visitors

The traditional "grey" aliens with black eyes, they first appear in the show's pilot episode, Cartman Gets an Anal Probe after, appropriately enough, giving Cartman an anal probe. They are seen in many subsequent episodes, including Cartman's Mom is Still a Dirty Slut, and The Red Badge of Gayness, or Summer Sucks in the first Swimming pool scene. They also appear as workers at an intergalactic TV studio in Cancelled

A visitor appears in every episode, in the opening. They regard cows as the most intelligent animal on Earth and can communicate with them readily. Their cattle mutilation on which the cows questioned them was put down to 'new guy' alien Karl's inexperience.

[edit] Scuzzlebutt

Scuzzlebutt is a creature that Eric Cartman originally made up in a campfire story in the episode "Volcano". According to the story, he lives on the mountain and kills anyone who dares to climb to the top, because he likes the taste of blood and likes to add pieces to his deformed body. He has a piece of celery for one of his hands and one of his legs is replaced with Patrick Duffy. He weaves wicker baskets as a hobby. To Cartman's surprise, the creature was real. Scuzzlebutt saved the day by helping Cartman, Kyle, Stan, Jimbo and Ned cross a river of lava. Kenny was hit by the lava rock and died on the other side of the lava river.

Following his heroics, Scuzzlebutt was shot in the head by Stan Marsh. Stan did this because he was under pressure by his Uncle Jimbo to hunt and kill any animal he saw. Afterwards, Jimbo said, "Stan, some things you kill, and some things you don't. See?" To which Stan replies, "No."

An alternate version of Scuzzlebutt was featured in "City on the Edge of Forever". Instead of Patrick Duffy, this Scuzzlebutt has Brent Musburger for a leg, and instead of wicker baskets, he makes ice cream (ice cream was a running joke in the episode).

Scuzzlebutt's son was said to make an appearance in the South Park video game, but the player instead encounters evil toys.

[edit] Sea People

Sea People appear in the episode "Simpsons Already Did It." They are the accidental hybrid of human sperm and brine shrimp, created by Cartman. They worship Cartman and, later, Tweek, until the two religions kill each other via suicide bombing.

[edit] Genetically Modified Towels (Towelie)

Genetically modified towels were a creation of the United States Military, whose goal was to make a new weapon in the labs of a secret government base. Or they were created as super-advanced drying devices. Or as part of an alien plot. Many explanations are given, none of which the boys care about because they simply want their "Okama Gamesphere" back. The generally-accepted explanation is that all (or possibly none) are true. See information at Towelie.

[edit] Goobacks

Goobacks are actually humans, a race from the year 3045 who have traveled in a one way time portal back to present day South Park to find work. They are a "hairless, uniform mix of all races" with an orangish skin color, and their language is also mixed from "all world languages".

The episode "Goobacks" is a satirical episode on the current illegal immigration problem in the United States. The term "gooback" is a play on the racial slur "wetback". The name comes from the strange purple "goo" that covers those who have traveled back in time. The Goobacks, similar to the Mexicans, are the subject of backlash because they are immigrants who "take" the work from local residents by offering to work below minimum wage. To try and get rid of them all the men in South Park have a gay orgy in an attempt to stop them from ever being born. Eventually, the residents of South Park realize that to get rid of the Goobacks from the present day, they have to create a better future. However they soon go back to the gay orgy man pile after deciding that the montage where they are making the world better is even more gay than the huge gay sex orgy.

[edit] ManBearPig

ManBearPig or MBP as referred in the sixth episode of the 10th season named after the animal. A ManBearPig, as described by Al Gore, is a Half man/half bear/half pig terror, despite the apparent impossibility of such a creature. In the episode, Al Gore is on a mission to rid the world of ManBearPig and to do so the boys reluctantly agree to help.

The hunt for ManBearPig satirizes Al Gore's fight for perceived global warming awareness. At the end of the episode, when he says he wants to make a movie starring himself about a subject other than "MBP" (ManBearPig) it refers to the indie movie An Inconvenient Truth that opened on May 24, 2006. His appeal to the boys can be compared with his attempts at winning youth support through his television network, Current TV, although most of the network's content is viewer-created.

In the episode, it is never indicated that ManBearPig actually exists, and seems in fact to be in Al Gore's head -- which, considering South Park's global warming stance from other episodes ("Goobacks," "Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow," etc.), might indicate the creators' attitudes towards the issue.

[edit] Lice

In the episode "Lice Capades" we are brought into the world of the lice that live in the hair of the children of South Park, specifically Clyde's. The group of lice are led by a president and vice president. After the lice are discovered by the school nurse, the kids are sent to the doctor and given RidX Shampoo to kill them off. Most of the race perish because of the shampoo and the blow dryer that are used, but one louse, Travis, is able to escape on a fly's leg at the end, with his baby, Hope, in his arms. They travel to a new "planet" of hair with an advanced civilization of lice that claims to have survived there for generations without being disturbed. When the camera zooms out we discover that this place is in fact Angelina Jolie's pubic hair.