List of celebrities featured in Bo' Selecta!
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Bo' Selecta! (currently known as Bo! in the USA) is a sketch show mainly about celebrity stalker Avid Merrion. The show also features sketches involving celebrities by using latex masks to impersonate them. The most popular characters so far are Craig David, Mel B. and Michael Jackson. Some celebrities guest star on the show. This list only features impersonated celebrities.
[edit] Ant & Dec
Ant & Dec appeared mainly in the second series of Bo' Selecta!. They would call each other "Ant, pet" and "Dec, pet", and would also often bicker about "saving" stottie cakes for each other. They would then go on to explain that they were doing "the part of the show where we don't know what's going to happen". It would always feature Ant being "bummed" (anally penetrated) by random things, including a satellite dish and Dec himself. This would take place behind a sheet but the shadow of what was happening could be seen.
[edit] Britney Spears
Britney Spears' character in Bo' Selecta! depicts her having let herself go, and she is often seen drinking many pints of beer. She sports her famous red leather jump suit (from her Oops!... I Did It Again music video).
She made several brief cameos in series 3 of Bo' Selecta!, one where she advertised smoking positively, describing it as a "meaty, treaty feast", (which was a mockery of Pepperami adverts), and also in the fictional countdown of "America's Greatest Pop Whore Sluts", where she excused her appearance as being down to the fact that she was "still sixteen".
[edit] Boy George
Boy George appeared in series three of Bo' Selecta! as part of the Blankety Blank contestants. These Blankety Blank scenes would occur when Avid Merrion would comment that he didn't think television would change his old landlord Ozzy, but it had, it had turned him into a blank. It would usually be a phrase to do with being gay.
[edit] Cheeky Girls
The Cheeky Girls appeared in the final episode of series three of Bo' Selecta!.
They appeared on T4 with Vernon Kay, and were depicted as almost anorexic, with extremely gaunt, skeletal-like faces. Vernon Kay made them answer questions to do with Bolton in order for them to win cleaning products, as they were told they "bloody stunk" and also because they had grimy feet with long, gnarly nails. They would constantly giggle and talk at the same time in Romanian.
[edit] Christina Aguilera
Christina Aguilera made an appearance in Series 2 of Bo' Selecta!, where she, like some other celebrities in other episodes, gave a tour of her home in a parody of MTV Cribs. However, her house, in question, was an untidy caravan in a trailer park. She had a thick Scouse accent, and her appearance was based on her heavily publicised image of her song Dirrty. She appeared to be a prostitute, as she could be seen performing sexual acts to a few men, and refer to them as "clients". Also, she would also constantly make suggestive comments and innuendo such as "I'm dead dirrty" and "Alsations, the lot!". She was also revealed to have an extremely overgrown big toe, whilst showering naked in full view of the camera.
In the third series of Bo' Selecta!, she also made a small appearance, where she was included in a fictional countdown of "America's Greatest Pop Whore Sluts".
[edit] Craig David
Arguably the most famous celebrity character, Craig David has appeared in every episode of Bo' Selecta! and Bo! in the USA. Craig has the largest chin which has a beard on it which Craig designed himself with a pen, as revealed in his single Soda Pop.
Craig says his own name as "Craig David" slowly and sometimes adds "Huge UK garage sensation". He has a pet Peregrin Falcon called "Kes" who Craig would usually refer to as "our Kes". Craig also has a urinal problem and commonly wets himself. In the first ever episode of Bo' Selecta! Craig went to the doctors and got a "piss sack". Craig usually forgets it and is commonly humiliated by it.
Craig tried to break America twice, however the first time he got on the wrong flight and arrived in Majorca. The second time he arrived he explained the stages of making and releasing the single over six episodes of series three. Craig failed however. In the seventh episode of series three he revealed he was splitting up on T4 and promoted his new show where he would try various things. In the eighth episode (the final of series three and the entire series) Craig went with Derek Acorah to find ghosts.
Craig had various cameos in A Bear's Tail in a few episodes along with other old characters from Bo' Selecta!. Craig has returned in Bo! in the USA and is currently staying in the Merrion Hotel. He has had a role in every episode so far.
[edit] Dale Winton
Dale Winton first appeared in series two of Bo' Selecta! on Lorraine Kelly's talk show. Dale has an extremely tanned skin and doesn't speak much and appears to be shy. Dale was then seen as part of the Blankety Blank panel.
[edit] David Beckham
David Beckham appeared mainly in the second series of Bo' Selecta! with his wife Victoria.
David wears a Mickey Mouse headband and is obsessed with Disneyland. He acts extremely childish and throws tantrums. He had one appearance in series three.
[edit] David Blaine
David Blaine is quite a well known character on Bo' Selecta! and has appeared in every series.
David Blaine was most well known for his magic tricks in series one and two. During series two they became quite perverted as he would make women's clothing move from them to him. For series three he only appeared on various adverts.
[edit] Davina McCall
Davina McCall appeared mainly in series two of Bo' Selecta! and had a cameo in series three. Davina would host Big Brother and would say a mock of Davina's "You are live on Channel 4, please do not swear" as "You are live on Channel 4, please do not say fuck or bugger!". She would also make catchphrases on the show about her baby and would usually be oblivious to when the show had started.
The real Davina guest starred in series one and Avid Merrion read a poem about her at the start of series two.
[edit] Elijah Wood
Elijah Wood appeared in series three in character as part of The Lord of the Rings. He appeared with Gandolf and Gollum. Elijah was sick of being stereotyped as being in The Lord of the Rings and tried twice to get out of it by joining various shows such as Pop Idol.
[edit] Elton John
Elton John has appeared in every series of Bo' Selecta!. He acts violently gay and speaks in a growling voice. He always shouts that "I'll bum you into next week!" (sometimes mistaken as "into a tree") while sometimes throwing items around such as flowers. Elton also appeared as one of the Blankety Blank contestants during series three. He also hates the postman, a reference to the real Elton's ads for Royal Mail.
[edit] George Michael
George Michael appeared in series three of Bo' Selecta! and Bo! in the USA.
George first appeared on the Blankety Blank panel along with other gay characters such as Elton John. In one episode of series three he went to a shop to buy condoms but kept insisting they weren't for him which obviouslly drew more attention to himself. He constantly says "Don't you worry about it!".
In the third episode of Bo! in the USA he was seen on his lilo in the swimming pool of the Merrion Hotel.
[edit] Geri Halliwell
Geri Halliwell appeared in the first two seasons of Bo' Selecta!.
Geri was in a war with Mel B. over the popularity of their biographies in the first series. In series two she was shown revealing her new statue at Madame Tussauds and had various other appearances. Her catchphrase is "Girl power and all that shite!" which she always says while making a peace sign with her fingers.
[edit] Gordon Ramsay
Gordon Ramsay appeared in episode three of Bo! in the USA
Gordon came to stay at the Merrion Hotel with his two pets, a squash and a baguette. The squash was shown to have excreted in a later scene.
[edit] Graham Norton
Graham Norton appeared in series two and three of Bo' Selecta!.
Graham first appeared on GMTV with Lorraine Kelly and in series three was shown to have been watching Bo' Selecta!. Graham has huge feet and huge pointy elf-like ears and speaks in a strong Irish accent.
[edit] Jack Osbourne
Jack Osbourne has appeared in every series of Bo' Selecta!.
In the first two series he was just a background character with the Osbourne family. In series three he was awarded with his own show, "Jack Off". He appeared twice with this show in series three along with his invisible friend Anthony. He met a policeman and policewoman and also went to a pier.
[edit] Jessie Wallace/Kat "Slater" Moon
Jessie Wallace's character Kat "Slater" Moon appeared in various episodes of series three of Bo' Selecta!.
Kat would constantly mistake people were talking about her bingo wings. She would then torment them by saying they were jealous that Shane Richie (Alfie Moon) had married her. The character would then say they loved her bingo wings more than Shane Richie ever could.
[edit] Jimmy Carr
Jimmy Carr appeared in various episodes of A Bear's Tail hosting various shows to do with 100 Greatest such as 100 Greatest Numbers.
He then appeared in Bo! in the USA doing the same sort of shows. The real Jimmy Carr however appeared in two cameos in the third series of Bo' Selecta!. He is prone to saying the world " Obviously. ", and commonly repeats himself.
[edit] Jodie Marsh
Jodie Marsh appeared in the second series of Bo' Selecta!.
Jodie appeared in part of the show called "The Week in Bits by Jodie Marsh's Tits". This would feature her breasts providing the latest celebrity gossip. This was a joke because for the first few episodes of series two Jordan's tits would do this segment. Jodie's tits would then tell Jordan to move over as they were the "newest tits in town".
The real Jodie Marsh guest starred in the final episode of Bo' Selecta! as part of Avid Merrion's party.
[edit] John Lennon
John Lennon appeared once in the first series of Bo' Selecta!.
John was shown to be a ghost. When he discovered ghosts couldn't be seen by living people he decided to get into a shower with a naked lady.
[edit] Katie Price
Katie Price was shown as Jordan in the second and third series of Bo' Selecta!.
In series two her breasts would host a news show. They were replaced for the final episodes of series two by Jodie Marsh. Jordan then guest starred in series three advertising her remedy of how to give men erections who needed them.
[edit] Kelly Osbourne
Kelly Osbourne appeared in every series of Bo' Selecta!.
In the first series Kelly was, like Jack Osbourne, a background character as part of the Osbourne family. In series two she hosted her own show where she would speak about fashion and her friends (who she would insult).
A joke is that her hair would constantly change every scene. Another joke is that when insulting people she would speak in a rough manly voice alternating between American and British accents. She also had cameos in series three. Kelly would also refer to viewers as "douchebags".
[edit] Lilly Savage
Lilly Savage appeared in series three of Bo' Selecta!.
Lilly was shown during the Blankety Blank sketches. Lilly would often nag at George Michael who was very slow at writing his answer down.
[edit] Liz Taylor
Liz Taylor appeared twice in series three of Bo' Selecta!.
In Liz's first appearance she was visiting Michael Jackson in prision and the second time it was shown that she'd taped Bo' Selecta! for Michael because it was weird. Liz Taylor constantly plucks her spot and comments on her "beautiful" appearance.
[edit] Lorraine Kelly
Lorraine Kelly hosted her GMTV talk show in the second and third series of Bo' Selecta!.
Lorraine had extremely short legs which she always would cross. She didn't wear any underwear so when she would uncross her legs her genitials would be visible. She would speak in a rough Scottish accent, and her catchphrase was "Can you see ma growler?", referring to her exposed vagina.
In series 3 of Bo' Selecta! she made a cameo providing her commentary for Christina Aguilera on "America's Greatest Pop Whore Sluts", where she stated that Christina had "a massive growler" for "such a wee lass", but it still wasn't as big as hers.
[edit] Marilyn Manson
Marilyn Manson appeared in one sketch of series two and a cameo in series three of Bo' Selecta! and appeared in two episodes of Bo! in the USA.
In series two Marilyn showed the viewers around his "crib" (a reference to the MTV series) where he explained he had a manatee which he would share with Sea World.
In Bo! in the USA he teamed up with a Big Foot expert called John, who he continually referred to as Mildred, and went in search of Big Foot. In the final episode, he met a UFO enthusiast named Preston (who he also called Mildred) and told him a story of how his friend was anal raped by two aliens.
Catchphrases: "What about the Quim?" and "Mmmmwicked!"
[edit] Mel B.
Mel B. is one of the most famous acts in Bo' Selecta! and has been prominent in nearly every episode. She also had various cameos in A Bear's Tail and appears in most episodes of Bo! in the USA.
Mel B. was in a war with Geri Halliwell during the first series over their biographies. Mel B. would often say "My new book, you just have to look for it!". She would pronounce words such as "fuck" as "fook", all in a strong, gruff Northern accent.
Mel also would do a "Scary Spice impression" and would then inquire if the viewers had "shit themselves". She is also notable for constantly complaining about her "grapes" and rubbing her pubic area, sniffing her hand, and then exclaiming that it smelt of "crab paste"
In series three Mel moved in with Patsy Kensit in a rude version of The Odd Couple. It was soon shown that Mel was a lesbian and in the final episode, after Pat got drunk they had sex to Pat's humiliation.
Also in the third series the real Mel B. appeared giving fashion tips to Craig David for when he tried to break America.
Mel has been prominent in Bo! in the USA such as when she did a questionairre on the Spice Girls believing she was the best.
[edit] Michael Jackson
Michael Jackson is another very famous act. Having appeared in every Bo' Selecta! series, A Bear's Tail and most episodes of Bo! in the USA.
Michael constantly says "Shamone mothafucker(s)!" at the top of his voice along with other phrases like "Check this shit out!" and "Kiss my bad self!".
For the first two seasons of Bo' Selecta! Michael mainly appeared in sketches called "Michael Jackass" where he would do incredibly dangerous and stupid acts such as suicidal diving. This was when he would be chained up in a quilt and be pushed off the top of a diving board in a swimming pool. Of course, this was not him doing the stunts.
Michael's seemingly best friend was his assistant, Bubbles, who Michael said was a woman and that he got rid of his monkey years ago.
For series three Michael Jackson was arrested and was sent to prision. These sketches were called "Doing Poridge" and would show his daily activities in prision with his comedy hero, Ronnie Barker. Like many other words he pronounced Ronnie's surname "Barkay".
After various cameos in A Bear's Tail he returned in Bo! in the USA on "The Michael Jackson Show" which would involve him assisting people in strange ways which involved extreme makeovers. He also regularly telephoned Martin Bashir. ("Hello, is that Martin Bashir?" "Yes" "Mothafucker! Hee hee!")
[edit] Michael Parkinson
Michael Parkinson appeared in cameos on A Bear's Tail in which the Bear would watch for porn not expecting to see much, however to his surprise there were naked women. Michael Parkinson's appearance resembles how John Lennon was designed for Bo' Selecta!.
[edit] Michelle McManus
Michelle McManus appeared once in series three of Bo' Selecta!.
In her appearance she appeared on T4 with Vernon Kay. She had extremely tanned skin (like Bo's Dale Winton) and was so overweight that her clothing consisted of an actual tent. Her voice resembles Lorraine Kelly's character and threatened Vernon Kay that she'd "eat his legs" if she wasn't given any cake, (which was her prize if she could correctly answer all of the questions in Vernon's quiz).
[edit] Mick Hucknall
Mick Hucknall appeared in various episodes of the third series of Bo' Selecta! and once in A Bear's Tail.
Much like Ozzy Osbourne's character Mick had extremely long arms. Mick Hucknall would star on his show "Walking Gingerly" which would show him giving celebrities makeovers so they could see through the eyes of a ginger. The celebrity would usually be shocked by seeing how much hassle gingers go through. He then appeared as part of an advert in A Bear's Tail.
[edit] Nej Adamson/"Ali Osman"
Nej Adamson appeared in "EastEndings", as his character Ali Osman from EastEnders.
[edit] Oprah Winfrey
Oprah Winfrey apperead in two episodes of Bo! in the USA, once with Madonna and another time with a little girl who had "pig trotter feet syndrome". She would often make completely random comments about fried chicken whenever she spoke.
[edit] Ozzy Osbourne
Ozzy Osbourne is quite a well known character from Bo' Selecta! and has been in every series with his family.
In the very first episode he got in a row with Michael Jackson (the Jacksons were the neighbours) after Ozzy kept Michael up while making his documentary.
Ozzy, like in real life, always swears and is one of the only characters to be bleeped. This joke refers to how his swearing is heard on The Osbournes. He also has extremely long arms like Mick Hucknall.
The real Ozzy has appeared twice on Bo' Selecta! and once on A Bear's Tail. At first he tried to get rid of Avid Merrion who wanted to date Kelly Osbourne. Avid was let in the second time and was laughed at for his strange ideas of dates. In A Bear's Tail Ozzy was "The Wizard Of Osbourne" as part of a television show starring Michael Jackson as "Dorothay".
[edit] Richard & Judy
Richard & Judy first appeared in the second series of Bo' Selecta! and then appeared in the third series as part of cameos.
In series two they did a game "You Say, We Say" (an obvious parody of "You Say, We Pay"). Richard would cheat and when Judy would try to speak he would tell her to be quiet before she embarrasses herself. For series three they appeared on adverts for Channel 4.
[edit] Ricky Gervais
Ricky Gervais appeared in the second series of Bo' Selecta!.
Ricky appears in his role of David Brent and "gives people what they want". He would perform his famous dance from The Office. Ricky wears big red boxing gloves.
[edit] Ronnie Barker
Ronnie Barker appeared in the third series of Bo' Selecta!.
He guest starred with Michael Jackson when Michael was "doing porridge". Ronnie spoke in a mumbling voice and could only be understood by Michael. Michael called Ronnie "Ronnay Barkay" as he pronounces other things like it.
[edit] Sharon Osbourne
Sharon Osbourne has appeared in every series of Bo' Selecta!.
For the first two seasons Sharon was a background character. In series two when Kelly Osbourne finished doing her show she would interupt Sharon who was just about to eat her dog's excretemet.
In series three she appeared on an Agony aunt-like show. She would speak about problems viewers sent in. At the end she would kiss her dog's anus.
The real Sharon appeared twice on Bo' Selecta! and once in A Bear's Tail. For Bo' Selecta!, Sharon and Ozzy were speaking to Avid Merrion about how he wanted to date Kelly. In A Bear's Tail they appeared in The Wizard of Osbourne where Michael Jackson, Craig David, Mel B. and Jack Osbourne went to see them.
[edit] Simon Cowell
Simon Cowell appeared once in Bo! in the USA.
Simon briefly stayed at the Merrion Hotel and threw constant criticism at Sacha Merrion, when she mentioned that the hotel had his suite. He continually insisted "I don't think you've got it", a reference to his role as a judge on The X Factor.
[edit] Stevie Wonder
Stevie Wonder appeared in the third series of Bo' Selecta! and once in A Bear's Tail.
In Bo' Selecta! he appeared on his show, "Sight-Seeing with Stevie Wonder", he would name various scenes with real locations, such as a scene of sexual intercourse was called Niagara Falls.
In A Bear's Tail he was shown at the Michael Jackson trial. When asked he commented that he didn't see anything, because he is blind.
[edit] Trisha Goddard
Trisha Goddard appeared in the second and third series of Bo' Selecta!, a cameo in A Bear's Tail and also in Bo! in the USA.
For Bo' Selecta! Trisha went into the public and would make people who had "problems" "feel a bit better" by shouting "Rice and pea!" (pronounced rice und pea). She also had a dog who she would tell not to "talk to strangers". In series three she also advertised her rice and peas smoothies.
Despite a cameo in A Bear's Tail showing her doing the same thing she did not appear until Bo! in the USA. In this she was shown on an advert for her movie; "Trisha- the Movie". It showed her speaking to the Elephant Man and shouting rice and pea.
[edit] Vernon Kay
Vernon Kay appeared in the third series of Bo' Selecta! on T4.
Vernon would always talk about Bolton and quizzed various people like the Cheeky Girls. He had extremely long legs with his navy shorts. The real Vernon appeared when he interviewed Craig David.
[edit] Victoria Beckham
Victoria Beckham appeared in the second series of Bo' Selecta! along with a cameo in series three.
Victoria appears alongside her husband, David Beckham who would act childish. Victoria would act like his mother and pull naive David about. She would snort like a pig.
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| Characters: | Avid Merrion | The Bear | Celebrity characters | Craig Phillips | Dave Ian McCall | Keith Lemon | Ozzy | Sacha Merrion | Ralph | Carlito | |||
| Other: | A Bear's Tail | Bingo wings | Leigh Francis | Shamone | Bo! in the USA | |||
