List of Ron and Fez Show characters

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Over the years, Ron and Fez have made room to let others shine on the radio, including producers, interns, staff that may work at the station, and listeners.

Contents

[edit] Hosts

[edit] Producers

Unlike many radio talk shows, The Ron and Fez Show relies on its producers to act as audience lightning rods. A recurring theme among many of R&F producers are enthusiastic fans of the show, or of radio, who are often at odds with coworkers, listeners and even the hosts. There is little that a Ron and Fez Show producer can do right, in the long run, and eventually most find themselves reduced to tears, often on the air. A sign of a good Ron and Fez producer is someone who can bounce back from the occasional humiliation and separate the difference between show and reality. This trial by fire has been a blessing, as most go on to successful careers in radio.


Black Earl.
Black Earl.
  • Black Earl (aka "Patches"/"Black Girl"/"Febreeze"/"The Fainting Goat"/"Sapphire"/"The Sleeping Tortoise"/"Sweetie"/"Mammi") (2005-Present) - Long time friend of the show, and former promotions staffer and board operator at WNEW-FM, Black Earl, who wears all black clothing, was the subject of Brother Joe Cumia's "Patches" parody song where it made fun of the time he took an entire workday to hang pictures on a wall. In 2002 Earl beat up Al Dukes at the Second Big Ass Night of Fights. In September 2005, Earl joined Ron and Fez as head producer on XM. In the spring of 2006, it was announced he was a member of "Team Bennington." Routinely fails to do anything of substance on the show. Following a series a fainting episodes, including one that he woke from stating that̪ the last thing he remembered was "smelling Febreeze" and another at a dinner meeting with XM executives, Earl was dubbed "Febreeze, the Fainting Goat." Has since proven that he cares more about himself than the actual radio show. Gives preferential treatment to black guests, to the point of meeting them outside the building, while leaving white guests to walk around aimlessly outside and inside the studio.
East Side Dave.
East Side Dave.
  • East Side Dave ( aka "ESD"/"The Big Cheese"/"Lugky Boy"/"The Midnight Rider") (2006-Present) - After returning to New York, ESD became Fez's go-to guy. A long time listener of the show, frequent contributor, and formerly host to his own FM radio show in New Jersey, Dave became an associate producer for Ron and Fez on XM. His girlfriend, West Side, was prone to tears when she learns of confidences he has broken on the air - such as when Dave revealed that he once had sexual intercourse with a plastic blow-up doll during a time they weren't dating. Claire left Dave on January 31, after being with him for 5 years. As a member of "Team Whatley", in early 2006 he allowed himself to be hypnotized alongside Fez. ESD also provides the voice of the puppets - Roberto, Jivey and Chipples. Dave's lack of knowledge, coupled with childish self-assurance, often makes him unpopular with listeners. Dave is an avid drunk and has had sexual relations with a dog and a jar of jelly. Much like Keshia before him, ESD has the reputation of getting the "pissy pants." As of January 2007 Dave was exiled from the Ron & Fez XM after being voted off the show by a supposed random group of callers. A couple of weeks later, Ron discovered evidence that the infamous HappyTypingGirl had manipulated the vote. As a consolation, he will still appear on the 92.3 Free-FM show. On March 5, 2007, the Midnight Rider praised East Side Dave for standing up to him at the wrestling match, and turned the XM job back over to him.
  • Harry Bottoms (aka "Harry Elvis"/"The Comedy Cooler"/"Harry Bottoms") (2005-2006) - During his R&F internship, in 2002-2003, he was known as the 19-year-old virgin. Harry often performed stunts on the air to impress Ron and Fez, such as dipping his penis in three-week-old rice pudding. In 2004, along with Wonderboy, Zak and Gary Wyse (below) was part of the attempted show "White Riot." Was an intern on the Opie and Anthony Show during the summer of 2005, and then joined an Associate Producer for Ron and Fez when they arrived to XM. He was often criticised for behaving "like Wonderboy", and in October 2005, as punishment, Ron and Fez gave out Harry's personal phone number over the air. Harry left the show four months later, in January 2006.
  • Keshia (aka "Peesha"/"NaKeshia"/"Sophia") (2005) - Former interim producer at the end of Ron and Fez's WJFK era, Keshia moved to New York City at the same time as Ron and Fez and did some voice work for their XM show. While at WJFK, in early 2005, Keshia found her voice and created a fearless mix of honesty and ditziness. In June 2005, Keshia had to wash Fez's feet when he beat her in a 5K race. Just one week later she lost another race (50 yard dash) and had to run around the outside of WJFK studios in her bra and panties. Keshia's father was a member of the Black Panthers. Has been known to wet her pants when nervous, she has visited them on the air several times since the return to New York.
Giant Brian.
Giant Brian.
  • Giant Brian (aka "Radio's Brian Carothers"/"Kite") (2004-2005) - Very funny and sarcastic, Giant Brian, a former intern for "The Late Show with David Letterman", was known during his brief R&F stint for his spot-on impersonation of "Fred Rogers", for being the world's worst Buddhist, for his game shows, for his gossiping with management and for his short lived weekend show, "The Giant Show." Giant Brian had hits and misses when dealing with Ron and Fez Show fans. When he first started working for R&F, he was taken a-back by the open door policy the show had and called the listeners that visited the show "groupies." Giant Brian sent an instant message to Paully Loose Bowells, a teenage listener (see below), questioning him why he had talked badly about The Giant Show on a message board. When Ron found out about this, he yelled at his producer saying that listeners are allowed to write whatever they want on the Internet and he should know better than to "attack a child". Brian was able to work closely with one Ron and Fez regular - Perrynoid (see below) on songs for the show. Currently The Giant One is the wacky-sidekick of John Debella in Philadelphia, PA and is producing a weekly "Giant Show" pod-cast.
  • Tommy Bateman (aka "Tommy Bats") (2004) - Tommy was a huge fan of Ron and Fez, who became an interim producer after Wonderboy left for North Carolina. Soft spoken on The Ron and Fez Show, Tommy proved he was tough by fighting (and besting) daytime producer, "Spoon", in the 2004 "St. Pat's Spat." Currently the director of The Hideout in Orlando, Florida with J. Dubs and El Jefe.
  • J-Dubs (aka "Justin Johnson/Sargent Spongetounge") (2003-2005) - Began as an interim producer before Wonderboy was hired, Dubs and his radio partner, El Jefe, had a weekend show on WJFK, and then weeknights. Eventually he continued running the board for the show, and many believe he was one of their best "third mics." Dubs was a brave man, who faced golf balls to the crotch, paintballs to the head and hot sauce in the mouth. His greatest fears are children and white condiments. His sister is huge. One of the highlights of Dubs' time with Ron and Fez was when he convinced Wonderboy to break out his own window in his car in January 2004. J. Dubs was also a frequent guest on The Don and Mike Show. In January 2005, Dubs and Fez appeared on Don and Mike in a very funny game show segment. Currently the co-host of The Hideout in Orlando, Florida with El Jefe. In November 2005, Dubs visited Ron and Fez in New York where he paid off a football bet with Fez by getting a tattoo on the bare bottom.
  • El Jefe (aka "The Fat Mexican/El Hefty") (2003) - Host of The Hideout, with J-Dubs. Briefly was an interim producer for Ron and Fez, he shaved his dreadlocks after losing his fight in The St. Pats Spat to J-Dubs. After Wonderboy was hired, Jefe was moved to the "Dump" room, where his job was to make sure no inappropriate content went out over the air. Currently the co-host of The Hideout in Orlando, Florida with J-Dubs. For a brief period of time, Jefe was asked to co-host the Washington Redskins' post game show, even though he was a lifelong Dallas Cowboys fan. He is divorced, and sleeps in a sleigh bed.
  • Spoon (2003-2004) - Producer and board op for the "Ron and Fez Fastest Hour In Radio", which ran on WJFK in the midday slot (11am - 12am); after Howard Stern, and before Bill O'Reilly. Enjoyed sharing his conservative religious views with listeners, and was often used as an example by Ron to show Fez what a "good Christian" and "good Republican" looked like. Fought Tommy Bateman at the "St. Pat's Spat" in 2004 and lost.
  • Wonderboy (aka "Ray Bottoms") (2002-2003, 2003-2004) - People call him "Wonderboy", but Ray Wagner had several stints at producing The Ron and Fez Show. Known for being a member of the "straight edge" movement, WB was often called out on the carpet when things were not done correctly. The highlight of his time at WJFK was fighting Mikey D. (see above) in "The St. Pat's Spat." The low-light was when he was tricked by J. Dubs into breaking the window of his car. To his defense, he thought he would be winning a BMW if he was the first into his car. It was a trick. Before leaving town (the last time he has been heard on Ron and Fez), he called in from the parking lot where he smashed the window of J. Dubs' car. He was hosting mid-days on WOBR-FM in Nags Head, NC, but he left radio to become a stand-up comic, like his good friend "Harry Bottoms."
  • Mikey D. (2002-2003) - Mikey D. was first known on the show because of his young daughter, Lenay D. (see below), was a frequent caller. Mikey later became a member of the staff, and would share his stories about life as a child actor, and a seemingly endless supply of celebrity stories. Mikey D. helped the show move from New York to Washington in 2003, but ultimately returned to New York. In 2004 he fought Wonderboy (above) at "The St. Pat's Spat." Mikey was responsible for getting Fez upset on his birthday in March 2005, and in the weeks and months that followed seemed to make matters worse by reminding Fez of the "meltdown" and the reasons behind it. He continues to be the drummer in the RonFez.net's band Crankcase, and, with his wife Helen hosts his an Internet radio show - "Mikey D.'s Musical Rollercoaster." On December 9, 2005, nine months after the birthday meltdown, Fez, for the benefit of his own health, finally agreed to forgive Mikey D. on the air. However, the Summer of 2006 was less than kind to Mikey. In June 2006, he found himself in a confrontation with another R&F producer - this time, it was East Side Dave. Then in August, he became hostile towards Black Earl because Earl was unsuccessful in securing his family tickets to see the rock band Poison, even though the situation was completely out of Earl's hands. Both issues, when played out on the air, painted Mikey D. in an extremely negative light with listeners. In December 2006, Mikey D. "broke his dick" while having sex with his wife and multiple female sex partners. As Mikey recounted the story on the air, producer Black Earl passed out 4 times.
  • Rory Hamptons (2002-2003) - Became the full-time show producer after beating Al Dukes in boxing match. Known for his laid back view of life and spending his weekends in the Hamptons. Rory was praised for his off the air professionalism. He currently produces at Sirius Satellite Radio.
  • Hawk (2001-2003) - Considered by the rest of the staff as the "quiet board op", however, he could often become quite loud after a few drinks on special occasions. Has a love palace in the Poconos.
Billy Staples.
Billy Staples.
  • Billy Staples(2001-2003) - Became phone screener for Ron and Fez after being a character on the Opie and Anthony Show known as "Fat Guy." Known for his on and off-the-air controversies, including an embarrassing stand-up comedy appearance in Red Bank, NJ, drunken on-air meltdowns, romantic encounters gone wrong, and defecating on Al Dukes' paycheck. See main article.
Al Dukes.
Al Dukes.
  • Al Dukes (2001-2002) - Hapless producer with unique world view, eventually removed from the show after losing boxing match to Rory Hamptons. A favorite punching bag on the show, his time as producer, while riddled with problems, is still referenced on the show as being a model for all producers that followed. Al spent a few months producing and working behind the microphone doing the Booker Show in 2004 and 2005 at KRock in NYC. Before that, he landed a job as an executive at Infinity Broadcasting. As of January 2006, he was the producer of the David Lee Roth Morning Radio Show which replaced Howard Stern. Since Roth was fired, Dukes is now working the dump button for the CBS portion on the Opie and Anthony show. See main article.
  • Joe Poo (2001) - Pizza delivery boy, grease monkey and cousin to 1998 Olympics skating star Tara Lipinski. He was a listener turned staff member/announcer for the show, known for his scat-eating jokes.
  • Kris "Dumpy" Lopresto (2001) - Quit because he wanted to go to Australia on vacation for six weeks. Was given the name "Dead Air Dumpy", when, while running the boards late night on WNEW, he shirked his responsibilities to have phone sex, and allowed silence over the WNEW airwaves.
  • Tasteless Ginny Sanchez (2000-2001) - Started as a listener and then a contributor to show of disgusting and horrific websites. Eventually became a producer of the show during the "Dot Com" days. Former overnight producer at WNEW-FM and current mid-day personality at 1250 AM WMTR, after having worked the summer of 2006 as a disc jockey at WGHT in New Jersey. She had the unenviable pleasure of administering an enema to Paul O. in preparation for the "Enema Jokeoff" in 2000 after Opie made a dominatrix, who was supposed to perform the task, cry because he said she looked like Joey Ramone.
  • Donna G. (2000) - Not much is known about this producer except she left unceremoniously after alleged serious issues with other WNEW staffers.
  • Harris Allen (1999-2000) - Previously an on-air jock during WNEW's rock heyday. He's since worked at WFAN, back to WNEW as co-host of Richard Neer's morning show in late 2002, and currently of Sirius Satellite Radio. He still continues to do spot and fill-in work as a 20/20 Anchor on WFAN, usually during the late night or weekend shifts.
  • Tuddle (1999) - Fiercely loyal intern from the days of the Ron and Ron show in Florida. Loves Ron and Fez "from the sky to the ground and the whole world round". On visits to the show in New York and Washington, Tuddle was abandoned in the Bronx, beat up women in a boxing match, and challenged Crazy Jen to see how many clothespins he could attach to his face, and passed out in studio from hot sauce shots.
  • Scadero (1999) - Sports announcer and political contributor during the WKRO era. Often battled with Tuddle on-air, including a boxing match in Daytona Beach. Believed marijuana users should be imprisoned.
  • Flipper (1999) - Still a good friend to the guys and visits often. He maintains the Ron and Ron.com site.
  • Fast Eddie (1999) - Master of voices, traffic, game shows from hell and song parodies. Did the singing on most of "Ron & Ron's" most famous bits.

[edit] Interns

Much like the producers of the show, Ron and Fez Show interns are often fodder for the broadcast. An internship is not considered successful until "Aunt" Fezzie has made one of the interns cry (almost always off the air, but always reported later). Many of the interns excel in this environment and leave on excellent terms with the show. Whenever possible, Ron and Fez work to find them employment post-internship.

[edit] Callers, Contributors and Other Friends of the Show

Few radio shows encourage the kind of listener interaction that "The Ron and Fez Show" do - some of their most popular radio drama has been fan produced. Going back to their days in Florida, fostering connections with their fans is a staple of all of the incarnations of the show. Whether if it is through the unofficial website (ronfez.net), through Instant Messaging during the show, through phone calls, through the many personal appearances during and after the shows or through the open door policy, listeners of The Ron and Fez Show do contribute to the fluid narrative. While names and characters have come and gone and returned over the years, one thing that has remained consistent is that this legion of nick-named minions are some of the most fiercely loyal, protective and diverse fan bases in modern entertainment.

[edit] Current Era: XM, WFNY-FM, and Messageboard Posters

  • ADF (Al Dukes Fan) - Prolific and funny instant feedbacker who also happens to be Fez's archnemesis. In 2005 Fez was forced to shave his head after losing a summer movie box office bet to ADF - the second year in a row Fez lost this particular bet. In December 2006, ADF and Sheepy (see below) confused Fez with a homeless man on the street, and ADF made the situation worse by posting his experience on RonFez.net. He is currently on the outs with Fez.
  • Angry Missy - One of the former Ron and Fez "Babies" from the WNEW era, she ran the now defunct fansite, RFBabies.com. She is also a prolific poster on RonFez.net. In 2004, she was surprised with a marriage proposal from her boyfriend, Foundry Music (FM) Jeff, live on the show - they were married on March 31 2006.
  • Blowhard/Heckler - A reliable walking Wikipedia of all things old-school, this gregarious caller usually has extreme opinions. He was originally known as "The Geographic Heckler" for his ability to insult people from any part of the country. During the time that Ron and Fez were on in Washington, Heckler led the campaign to keep Ron and Fez's names in the news get them back on the air in New York City. Today, his opinionated blog is a source of equal amounts of amusement and concern on the show.
  • Baby Love - Fez's adopted infant daughter (for one afternoon in 2006); her birth father is "Mikeyboy" (see below).
  • B.A.M. - Conservative listener, and prolific creator of fan messageboards, "General" B.A.M. (or "Big Ass Member") is a vocal supporter of Ron and Fez & Opie and Anthony since he began calling in late in 2005.
  • BoboGolem (aka: Bobo) - A conceptual artist from Baltimore who amuses Ron and Fez with his colorful stories and varied knowledge. Bobo was a relentless caller and visitor to the Ron & Fez Show at WJFK in 2004 and 2005(see Parody Song Outbreak) and he was a charter member of Fez's post show group, "Friday Night Lights". He continues to call and to submit songs to both the XM and Free Fm shows to this day. Bobo painted a portrait of Fez incorporating Fez's actual beard hair which was presented at his birthday party on April 1 2006. He later painted a portrait of Ron and his "chick" which was presented to them at the 2006 RonFez.Net Christmas party.
  • Bonedaddy/Yerdaddy - One of Ron's favorites - funny instant messenger and film enthusiast during their early days on WJFK, Bonedaddy left D.C. to travel the globe, where his blog updates are often reported on the show. Last heard from in Yemen and Egypt.
  • Carter - Admin and owner of RonFez.net. Was encouraged to join the Marines by Ron and Fez, but chose college instead. Attended Duke University, and now current has his own independent record label. He has encouraged Earl to play more indie rock in the show open. Earl responded by playing Rage Against the Machine.
  • Corky - Fez's very Southern real life brother. Got drunk on the air, and occasionally will call the show from a Florida bar, intoxicated. Had to have his feet operated on because he developed "boot foot" from wearing too tight, pointed boots. Known for the audio drops "I'm gonna turn it up a notch" and "Lemme tell ya somethin.'"
  • Crankcase - The RonFez.net band. Featuring Gvac on Guitar, Jersey Rich on bass (see above for both) and Mikey D. on drums (see below). Played several Ron and Fez related gigs, including in 2003 at the "Hard Rock NYC Reunion."
  • Crazy Jen - Budding standup comedian, reality show star, Internet radio host, Zen mistress, soda can photographer and ramen noodle eater, there is nothing this Trenton, New Jersey native hasn't done for the show since they first arrived to WJFK. Her natural "Ho-billy" accent and abrupt, anxious delivery divides callers into "Lover Her" or "Hate Her" camps. However, her voice masks that she (according to Ron Bennington) is "oddly hot." In February 2006 a practical joke on Fez backfired on Jen, however by June 2006 she was back on board as a member of "Team Whatley." Laid low for several months before appeqring on both XM and Free-FM to celebrate Fez's birthday.
  • Death Metal Moe - Carrier of one of the highest post counts on RonFez.net, this lover of death metal is best known for his on-line arguments and 'sensitive tough-guy' gimmick. He is also a drummer in a local Jersey metal band.
  • Don the Hypnotist - Hypnotist who originally came on to help cure Fez's fear of flying, he soon helped create very funny radio by putting Fez, listeners and show staff under. His most recent appearance was January 19, 2007 when he came up from Virginia to New York.
  • Eddie Trunk - Host of WNEW's "Friday Night Rocks" and "Saturday Night Rocks" during Ron and Fez's time in New York City, he participated in a pseudo-feud with Ron and Fez as a parody of the feud between Opie and Anthony and Don and Mike. This culminated in Ron screaming Trunk's name on air repeatedly and the show being "Dumped Out" to Van Halen's "Ain't Talking 'Bout Love". Currently seen on VH1 Classic and heard on Monday nights on XM channel 41.
  • EffMeBoobs - Known for her rather prodigious bosom, she was one of the "Ron and Fez Girls" during their tenure in New York City. She would frequent the studio especially during the infamous "Lights Out Parties." She married Pootertoot (see below), a former member of the RonFez.net message board, in July of 2006.
  • Elfish/David Lee Kinison - Looking like a cross between David Lee Roth and Sam Kinison, he came to the attention of the show when he attempted to have Ron and Fez autograph a page he ripped from a motel bible. He is "Elfish" because he was unable to pronounce "Elvis" during a drunken phone call. Sang Elvis karaoke during a live appearance wearing a part-elf, part Elvis "costume. Has had numerous health problems, including a heart attack, he continues to show up intoxicated. In 2005 and 2006, Elfish's long shot football bets with Fez eventually lead to Fez having shave his head (2nd time in 12 months), paint himself blue, fly Elfish to NY, and then go to Graceland - during a blizzard.
  • Fluffernutter - Official show cartoonist, Fluff's very original animated Flash movies and illustrations can often be seen at RonFez.net. Favorites included 2003's "Matrix" parody and 2005's "The Ronfather."
  • Foundry Music Jeff - FMJeff is the former admin and owner of RonFez.net, although he is still mysteriously called on to fix the board whenever it breaks down. In 2004, he proposed to his longtime girlfriend, "Angry" Missy, live in-studio on the Ron and Fez show - they were married in March of 2006.
  • French Bread Pizza - A "camgirl", her webcam pics were shared with the show, and Ron couldn't believe that a girl that was so beautiful was an actual fan of the show until she made an appearance.
  • Gail O. - Gail was the codependent, bipolar, alcoholic, and possibly insane spouse of Paul O. At first, her contribution to the show consisted entirely of murderous lunacy screamed in the background of Paul O's phone calls (during those times when she wasn't properly medicated). Following more than a decade of being no more than a stark raving voice on the phone, she eventually met Ron and Fez in August of 2006, after the day's radio show had aired, during a trip she and Paul O took to New York. Although the encounter was taped, Ron and Fez refused to play most of it the next day on their show, saying "It was just sad" and "Disturbing on many levels." This prompted callers to believe that R&F were holding out on them, so they played some excerpts to convince listeners that there was indeed nothing worth listening to. More recently, Gail called the show herself, usually whining about losing Paul O. However, on what would turn out to be her final call to the show, she happily proclaimed that she had won Paul back. In a somber moment, it was revealed on the March 30, 2007 show that she died on March 28 due to complications from surgery.
  • Gvac - Short for "Greg Vacation", he was a caller and the guitarist for the RonFez.net band Crankcase, as well as a man with a reputation for utilizing the message boards as a singles bar. An avid Rolling Stones fan, he fought during Big Ass Night of Fights 2.
  • Hard Rock Johnny - One of the managers of the Hard Rock Café in New York City. Because of the Hard Rock's proximity to the WNEW studios, he was a frequent guest, and supplier of food, for many of the WNEW shows including Ron and Fez. Always insists that dessert is a part of the meal when bringing meals in for Ron & Fez.
  • Helen of Joy/Tellin' Helen - Mikey D's wife, mother of Lenay D and former stripper. Broke Mikey D's dick.
  • Irish Alkey - One of the more popular and creative callers to the show. So popular, in fact, that people come to Ron and Fez events just to meet him. Recently fathered a son with Silera (see below) - the first child born of parents who met because of the Ron and Fez show.
  • Jafter - Listener/"Remote Producer"/Friend of the show who helped Ron and Fez make the transition to Washington. RonFez.net moderator and organized the annual Ron and Fez Pool Tournaments at Dave & Busters. Jafter has a Wikipedia-like knowledge of all things pertaining to "The Little Rascals."
  • Kane/Private Pyle - Listener who supposedly had split personalities, Kane/Private Pyle was originally a regular on The Hideout, which followed Ron and Fez in the fall of 2004, but he became a popular addition to the Ron and Fez stable of minions. The Kane personality is modeled after the WWE superstar of the same name, while Private Pyle (a reference to the movie Full Metal Jacket) is the decidedly more meek. Reconnected with the show late in 2006.
  • Kathleen from the Bronx & Bri-Bri - Expert at the fine art of the Haiku, Kathleen along with her husband, Brian (aka: Bri-Bri) first met Ron and Fez at a show Open House in January 2004, when Ron and Fez threw open the station doors to make new friends. Being the professional "party animal", Kathleen from the Bronx, and her man, never missed a week of "Friday Night Lights." In May 2006, Ron Bennington added a "Kathleen from the Bronx" impersonation to the many voices he is credited with doing.
  • KOP - Frequently took advantage of the show's open door policy at WJFK, KOP was often accused of wanting to be an "insider." Additional nicknames included "Gossipy Gus" and "Lois Lane." KOP was also one of Fez's regular drinking buddies at "Friday Night Lights." The name "KOP" is still occasionally referenced for any number of reasons.
  • Lenay D. - Mikey D's daughter, she is best-known for being a foil to Paul O. Also added the term "Asswhack" to the Ron and Fez lexicon. Maybe the youngest person hosting an internet radio show - at least the youngest that Ron and Fez know of. AKA Blacky Hugehands. Seen as a pawn in her father's machinations towards the show by listeners who have been upset with Mikey D's behavior as of late.
  • Lleeder - Daily caller to the Free-FM show.
  • Master Po - Famed XM security guard, tasked with protecting Opie and Anthony from the dangers of the world. Just as useful to Ron and Fez, but appears on their show much less often. In January of 2006, he allowed the Radio Shark to enter the studio without completing proper paperwork. His only exception, ever.
  • Matty Fridays - Named for his former employment at a casual dining establishment. Bailed on a 2001 "Mystery Date" with TooCute. Like many, Matty had heated verbal exchanges with Al Dukes, and also fought GVac at Big Ass Night of Fights 2. Currently engaged to Sheepy's older sister, who he met at a Ron and Fez event.
  • Mike the Teacher - For well over a year, Mike the Teacher (or "Mizzle the Tizzle") was the show expert on everything.
  • Mikeyboy - Remote producer and a ronfez.net moderator, Mikeyboy (not to be confused with "Mikey D.") is, for many, the gateway conduit between Ron and Fez's WNEW and WJFK eras, and now satellite. Tapping into his experience as a game show contestant, Mikeyboy also assists the staff with their contests. Like so many Ron and Fez fans, he has his own Internet radio show, and when in studio he is usually asked to help with the bumper music. His role of remote producer has been elevated since the 2005 move to XM. In 2006 his youngest child was adopted by Fez for an afternoon and renamed "Baby Love."
  • PanterA - Hapless Postal Worker and frequent in-studio guest during the WNEW era, "Bobby" Pantera had first appeared on The Opie and Anthony Show. Currently an administrator for RonFez.net, he often does a poor job explaining himself, and usually winds up apologizing for sometimes ballsy comments made on the air.
Paul O
Paul O
  • Paul O. - Long time friend of Ron and Fez, going back to the days of "Ron and Ron Show" in Tampa, where he was often asked to perform extreme stunts. Today he is the Ron and Fez movie reviewer who calls in to talk about that weekend's releases. In the spring of 2006 he announced his new project - an independent horror movie called "gap." Often, Paul's calls take a turn for the worse, either with Ron and Fez questioning whether or not he has even seen the movie, discussing potential Oscar Blurbs for the movies, or Ron inquiring about Paul's borderline insane wife Gail O. More often than not, Ron will declare at the end of the segment that it is Paul O's last one with the show. In 2003, he visited the WJFK studios for a screening of Caddyshack (he has a bit part as a waiter), and, like his old days on The Ron and Ron Show, allowed himself to be tattooed and shot with paint balls. In late 2006, Paul had left Gail for another woman. The two reconciled in early 2007, shortly before Gail passed away. An emotional Paul O broke the news of Gail's death to XM listeners on Friday, March 30, 2007.
  • Perrynoid - Since they first arrived on WNEW, Perrynoid added to the show with his songs about Ron and Fez and their listeners (see Parody Song Outbreak). During the WNEW years, fought Billy Staples in a "Big Ass Night of Fights." During Ron and Fez's WJFK stint Perrynoid passed out in the station bathroom. Contributor to the short lived "Giant Show." Often engulfed in several levels of drama, either on or off the air, but never once with either Ron or Fez. Currently host of an Internet radio show - "The Cosmic Circus", which sometimes continues to act as a Ron and Fez wrap-up show. (See "Cherrynoid", "Elfish", and "Cigar Sid/Fat Baby", all above. See "Vincy", below). In early 2006, Perry endeared himself to the frustrated listeners of the Ron and Fez Show on XM, upset that whenever calls start coming into the show the phones shut down, when he put to words and music a plea to "Fix the Phones!"
  • Photoshop Mike - Photoshop Mike used pictures of Fez after he shaved his beard cut and paste Fez's face on pictures, usually of the morbidly obese. In late summer 2005 Mike produced a "Fez Whatley Has A Posse" t-shirt, with Fez's face on André the Giant's body.
  • Radio Shark AkA Stink Bomb - Loves to call in to play audio clips. Very secretive. Has gotten past Master Po and into the studio to see the boys.
  • Sheepy - Long time friend of the show, in 2002, Ron and Fez set him up for his senior prom, complete with limo, tuxedo, and a date: Crazy Clare. Four years later, in August 2006, Sheepy sat in on the show as a "third mic", serving as Fez's latest "nemesis". Sheepy continues to sit in occasionally on both XM and the Free-FM show.
  • Silera - Callipygous Dominican firebrand. Recently had a child with Irish Alkey (see above). Allowed East Side Dave to eat all the hotdogs in her house.
  • Skellington - Wonderboy's heavily tattooed ex-girlfriend during his time at WJFK she found out about him leaving Washington D.C. (and her) after he told his roommate, Wendell. In 2005 she came back and introduced Ron and Fez to the punk band Me Versus The Monster.
  • Sleeves- Octogenarian from New Hampshire who since late 2006, despite his advancing years, has contributed some of the most popular bits to the show. With songs like "Fez of the Flies", "It Takes a Rube" and "I Christmas Thee", Sleeves has quickly become one of the most well-known and popular contributors to the show.
  • Stalker Patti- Orphan and homeless woman who one time slept under the stairs at WNEW, Patti was a frequent guest on "The Opie and Anthony Show" where she allowed herself to be humiliated on the air. Ron and Fez attempted to help find information on her birth parents. In 2004 Patti took her first plane ride anywhere to Washington D.C. where she stayed with Fez for the weekend. Currently living independently in Manhattan and working at Starbucks.
  • Too Cute - New York graduate student with in-depth knowledge of many academic subjects. Battled Lisa Croft over the right to wear a Lara Croft costume in 2001. Designer, whose costumes have included "Arden" from "The Lord of the Rings" and "Evil-Lyn" from "Masters of the Universe.
  • Winnie Cooper - Guest best known for her singing voice and promiscuity. Old friend of the show from the WNEW days through the present.

[edit] WJFK Era

  • Blind Courtney - Blind listener who beat Fez at skee-ball during a show at Dave & Buster's in 2003. Was taught to drive a car in the WJFK parking lot by show producer, Wonderboy (see above).
  • Cherrynoid - Had the original idea for "Perrynoid's Cosmic Circus", an internet radio show (see below) and has written a couple of parody songs herself. Is the former love of Perrynoid's life, and his occasional comedic foil. Known for making amateur home video "watersports" porn with Perrynoid.
  • Cheeseface - Crossover caller from WJFK's The Don and Mike Show.
  • Clementine - A former member of the WJFK sales staff, "Clem" is a 20 something Vietnamese woman with a valley girl accent who was a favorite on most of the WJFK shows. Talked freely about her open marriage to husband "Augie", in early 2005 she dabbled in homemade pornography with a listener and an intern.
  • Craig Coleman - Frequent and funny caller into Ron and Fez during the WJFK days, Craig used a variety of names and voices to get on the air, until he was called out by Ron in 2003 as being the same Craig Coleman that had been known to listeners of The Don and Mike Show (from which he was subsequently banned) as "Lewtard." Also was a regular caller into The Hideout, Craig now is the host of his own weekly Internet radio show.
  • Fred The Hair Genius - Personal on-air hair stylist to Ron and Fez at WJFK.
  • Halloween Goddess - One-time manager of a Virginia costume store, the Halloween Goddess was the unofficial costumer for the Ron and Fez and for The Hideout. For a live Dave and Buster appearance, she, providing the "Elfish" costume and a costume of the Bee Girl from Blind Melon's "No Rain" video for Wonderboy. She once employed Paully LooseBowels (see below).
  • Jonathan & Dru - S&M couple who made several appearances on the show, including a few S&M demonstrations. Eventually they relocated to Florida, and in 2005, when The Hideout relocated to Orlando, became regulars on that show as well.
  • Julie Follman - Long time friend of Ron and Fez, she worked at one of their first radio stations in Florida. Currently General Sales Manager, Infinity Broadcasting Corp., Washington, DC.
  • Lacey/Crystal Beth - A friend Ron and Fez made while in DC, Lacey had a chemical dependency issues, which forced her into rehab for the better part of a year. In 2004 she came in first on Fez's team in the Tim Harmon 5K, however in 2005 she tripped over a baby carriage and fell inches away from crossing the finish line.
  • Lazlo - Another charter member of "Friday Night Lights", the end of the week drinking collective organized by Fez Whatley, Lazlo lived close enough to the WJFK studios that he often just wandered in to be part of the show. A smarty-pants computer guy, Lazlo also helped Ron understand string theory on the air.
  • Mikey Tenderface - A Washington, D.C.-area caller who, in the final days of the WJFK show, attempted to fill the void left by the banishments from the show of Mikey D., Tender, and Cheeseface. He was Ron and Fez's new favorite caller (for one show).
  • Nicotina - Originally a caller for The Hideout, before they moved to Florida, Nicotina would also call Ron and Fez, where she was routinely ridiculed for her raspy, cigarette-abused voice.
  • Pauly LooseBowels - Teenage fan of the show who, along with his older sister, Bethany, would stop by the WJFK studios. Both "Loose Bowel" siblings had their own radio shows - on the Internet and in college. In 2004, 16-year-old Pauly disturbed J. Dubs' by calling him at home, after having found his phone number. Used to work with The Halloween Goddess (see above), Pauly is currently in a band and on his way to college.
  • Preset Radio Albert - Blind radio enthusiast who provided the show with spy reports of what was being aired on other Washington D.C. radio stations.
  • Shelly, the Lonely Girl - Washington caller, and recent transplant to the area, who frequented the station hoping to find a friend. Her views on relationship always drew ire from the listeners.
  • Tender & Kathy - Engaged couple. Tender is a musician and self-appointed "observer" turned realtor, and Kathy is a therapist. Tender disappeared following an awkward, on-air clash with the show in the summer of 2005 because he felt that he wasn't getting the respect and attention that he deserved. (see Parody Song Outbreak).
  • Thug Lip Annie- Seemingly normal looking fan who has "Thug Life" tattooed on the inside of her bottom lip. Starred in an amateur porn with show intern Puck.


  • UFO Phil - Originally a friend of The Hideout, this UFO enthusiast started calling Ron and Fez to breathe heavily into the phone, and to provide details about Zaxon and how to tell the good aliens from the bad aliens. Phil is famous for claiming to be routinely abducted by both good and bad aliens. He is also a prolific songwriter, documenting his extraterrestrial encounters in songs like "Aliens Really Stink". Can you keep a secret?
  • Vincy - DC area listener of the show, Vincy was often involved in the dramas that involved Perrynoid (see above) and The Cosmic Circus. Also was there for Fez for the occasional in-studio massage.
  • Wendell - Former engineer for WJFK and roommate of Wonderboy, he was a regular fixture on many of the shows on the station, including Ron and Fez and Don and Mike. In 2003, he was given an on-air extreme makeover to help him find a woman. In late 2004, after Wonderboy had left for North Carolina, Wendell followed leaving his job in D.C.

[edit] WNEW Era

  • Allie Dudley - Wrestling fan and occasional Ron and Fez girl when they were first in New York City. Dated Joe Poo briefly.
  • Assman - Once weighed 540 pounds. He was able to eat a gallon of soup in under 15 minutes. Was briefly banned from the show for a drunken, accusatory message he left with the show. Had his stomach stapled and since has lost close to 200 pounds.
  • Baby Sarah - Taking a cue from the movie "Swingers", "Baby Sarah, along with Baby Anna, Baby Carly, Angry Missy Baby, and other "Ron and Fez Babies", they were a legion of female Ron and Fez fans during Ron and Fez's time in New York.
  • Bunny - Early in the WNEW era, Bunny was an oddball caller who called in to say "Ron and Fez. I love them. Ron...and...Fez. They're so juicy. I love them", and similar phrases over and over and over again until he got tired or got hung up on.
  • Cancer Girl - Beautiful college-age girl who was stricken with Hodgkin's Lymphoma, she underwent chemotherapy in 2002. Her positive attitude concerning her condition shone through on the show.
  • Chairman Kaga - TooCute's former significant other, he was a frequent guest on the show in 2002. (See below for "TooCute").
  • Circus Boy - From the early days of WNEW, performed stunts including fire breathing on the show during the WNEW days - died in 2003, unrelated to the show.
  • Crazy Clare - One of the "Ron and Fez Girls", she was known for her love of knives being run over her body. Was Sheepy's (see below) prom date for his senior prom in 2002. Cut the clothes off of French Bread Pizza at the first Big Ass Night of Fights.
  • Cyrus the Prodigy - Very young, very intelligent caller who was the nemesis of Kenny Allen and Little Lenay D. in the WNEW days. He had a hot model mother who used to go on-air with him.
  • Dan from Hoboken - Instant feedbacker who still contributes to the show on a very sporadic basis.
  • Drudge Jr - Early Dot. Com days caller that had a webpage that mimicked The Drudge Report webpage and called show with Spyreports.
  • Eddie the Murderer - A paranoid caller that actually confessed to killing a couple of Colombians back in the 70's on the Opie and Anthony show. Would call Opie & Anthony in the afternoons & Ron and Fez at night. Featured on the local NY news for lying about the murders.
  • 42nd Delay/The Armenian Swing King - Armenian creative contributor, who lent his song parodies and unique look on life to the show. Mysteriously disappeared after failing to get naked for the Ron and Fez girls as part of a bet that he agreed to satisfy on behalf of his girlfriend.
  • Foul Mouth Elmo - Sesame Street puppet who called with a nasty demeanor. Most of his calls would usually be self-censored with touch tone "beeps" due to his heavy use of curse words. Has since called the new show but his character doesn't work at all since XM allows all the curses that Elmo self-censored himself with.
  • Gary the O&A Kid - During the WNEW days, he was first an underage caller to the Opie and Anthony Show until they got rid of him and than he started to bother Ron and Fez with basketball Spyreports.
  • Gay Randy - In August 2001, made out with Al Dukes unbeknownst to Al. Al's rage following the incident lead to a broken foosball table, which created more and more radio drama. Threatened to tea-bag Al Dukes if he was knocked unconscious at the First Big Ass Night of Fights.
  • Godzilla - Frequent show caller, guest and Ron and Fez show hanger-on in the early "Dot Com" days (2000). Was always the lovable lonesome loser and virgin, his main gimmick was Weekly Football Picks
  • Hannah Han - Self proclaimed "Producer who produces results". This fan applied for the position of producer on the show but was rebuffed.
  • Horde King - "Dot Com" show frequent caller and guest who's wisdom and advice evolved him into the show's shrink.
  • Ice Cream Girl - Dated Al Dukes during the WNEW stint. Most noted as the catalyst for some of Al's more gay statements.
  • Inkgrrrl - One of the "Ron and Fez Girls", this pierced and tattooed fan is best remembered on the show for being the instigator in the "Chicken Parm" incident with Billy Staples.
  • The Jobber - Underage caller during the New York years who referred to himself in the third person and tooled on guests and staff.
  • Lisa Croft - Came to prominence when she battled Too Cute (see below) over the right to wear a Lara Croft costume for the Big Ass Halloween Bar Crawl in 2001. Also punched out Frighty Fright (see above) and later threatened to take Too Cute down "Frighty Fright Style". Ron was enamored with her large breast implants. Was romantically involved with PanterA during her appearances on WNEW, however she has moved on and not appeared on the show since then.
  • Lobster Claws - The catalyst in one of Billy Staples' most memorable in-studio meltdowns. Also fought Tuddle at the first Big Ass Night of Fights.
  • Mad Producer - Irate caller who wanted to straighten out Al Dukes mis-production by bringing in big names guests but after all his boasting never did.
  • Marine Boy - "Dot Com" days contributor of song parodies and a feud with Godzilla which culminated in a kid toucher Super Bowl bet where the loser was forced to walk around Times Square with a sign that said "I'm a kid toucha".
  • Monty Love - Battle of the bands winners at The Feztival of Rock and Ribs in 2002 that have had multiple appearances on the show as musical performers and in-studio guests. In 2003 they were the house band for Ron and Fez's second "Dave & Busters" appearance - "The Ron and Fez Poker Tournament."
  • Moshin - Lead singer for the Mighty Might Moshtones, a one-time incarnation of the band Crankcase. Her "I am NOT a retard!" sound bite remains a popular sound drop.
  • NM The Remote Producer - Listener who coined the phrase "Remote Producer." In October 2003, started an "O&A" chant on the air when he spotted Anthony Cumia at the 2003 Hard Rock Cafe Reunion show, forcing WJFK to pull the plug on the broadcast for an hour.
  • Nurse Mira - Named for her Halloween costume. Of Serbian descent, this provided comedy fodder for Ron. Had a cameo on "The Sopranos" as a topless Bada Bing Girl.
  • Pete Johnson - Former Chief Engineer at WNEW (retired), and one of the "elder statesmen" of the station. Was known for his unique voice and was often called on for historical questions about WNEW. Was a known bit-player on most of the WNEW shows, including Opie and Anthony, Radio Chick and Don and Mike.
  • Superstar - Maintenance person at WNEW who is developmentally disabled. He was a regular feature on the mid-day version of Ron and Fez's show, and featured a quiz segment called "Good, No Good."
  • Sweet Melissa - Known for her kind demeanor and her sultry voice, she contributed to the show with her "moan-tages" of her gasping pleasurably and saying saucy and naughty things. A listener favorite during the WNEW days, especially live events. Her first appearance on the show was the 'Lizzie Grubman' challenge
  • Swiss Miss - Attractive female caller with an equally attractive younger sister (Swiss Sis). Once did an incredibly epic sexy job of reading Porno Movie titles on the air. Has appeared as a Bada Bing girl on The Sopranos.
  • Travis Bickle - Along with Billy Staples, Travis gave former Ron and Ron Florida producer, Tuddle, a taxicab tour of Harlem, the Bronx, and East New York. Tuddle was taken on this tour because of his red neck racist jokes and comments. He was suppose to fly the rebel flag but never did because he was scared to death.
  • Wacky Wake Up Guy - "Dot Com" caller that whispered when he called in as to not wake his wife, then went into the bedroom and yelled and screamed to wake her up.

[edit] Celebrities and Famous Friends

  • Stephen Baldwin - Major Hollywood actor, and Ron Bennington's "best friend." Alec's brother was an occasional caller and visitor to the studio when the show was on WNEW in New York.
  • Jay Mohr - Frequent caller into the show, introduced to the show from his guest appearances on O&A. Has mentioned how his wife, Nikki Cox, finds Fez attractive. Tortured East Side Dave with hot sauce during an in-studio appearance on January 11, 2007.
  • John Mayer - Famous musician who debuted his smash hit, Waiting on the World to Change on Ron and Fez's show. He admitted to being a big fan of both Ron and Fez and Opie and Anthony, and sat in as a "third mic" several times on the show. He has also called in to the show on multiple occasions, once asking Ron, "Did anyone tell you this was John Mayer?"
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